Mended (4 page)

Fucking perfect.

Once he can see straight, he pulls out and scoops her up and carries her limp body into the bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights. The moon is enough. His erection still obvious in the dim light, she spreads her legs for him, and he settles between them, pressing in gently. Those gorgeous eyes roll back in her head as he slowly slides around in the slippery mixture. Nothing in the world feels as good as being inside this woman. They spend the next few hours making love, both giving in to their desires.

They are both hot and sticky when they finally pry apart long enough to make it to the shower. By one a.m. she is curled into his chest in the bed with his fingers running up and down the length of her arm. They’re totally relaxed in the blankets he had grabbed from the couch while she was drying off. They haven’t spoken much, but he needs to know what happened today.

“Savi?” he whispers, seeing if she’s awake.

She shifts and moves her head slightly. “It was the truck, in the parking lot, and,” her voice is low, “it just brought me back to that day. I don't know why or what came over me, but—” He leans down and kisses her head. “Cole?”

“Mmm?”

She clears her throat, swallowing loudly. “Spend the night with me.”

He smiles and turns her on her side, spooning her from behind. “Sleep, baby, I’ve got you.”

Reaching for his hand and giving it a light kiss, she allows herself to fall asleep.

***

Savannah

I wake to Cole’s arms wrapped around me tightly. I want to stay like this forever, but my bladder has a mind of its own. I wiggle out of his warm hold and move quickly to do my business, but return to find him getting dressed. I try not to show my disappointment. Now that the sun has risen, I know we’re going to have to talk, so I slip on a robe and head to the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker and pulling out the cream. I turn to see Cole coming out of my room. I realize that although it feels weird seeing him here at my place, I like it. It’s a step forward.

“I’m sorry, I have to get going. I have a meeting with Frank.” He moves in front of me and kisses my lips gently, then pulls away with his eyes squeezed shut like he’s got something to say. “Come home with me, Savi. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.”

My head snaps back and I see red instantly. “Prove anything? Cole, this isn’t about anyone else. This is about me.”

“If you were home, I could protect you better.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, I—”

“Oh, really?” His hands fly in the air. “What was that last night?”

My mouth drops open. I can’t believe he’s is throwing that in my face. “I didn’t call you, Cole. Jake did!”

“Thank Christ he did! You were huddled in a ball in the middle of a freezing parking lot, and you wouldn’t get in the car. I had to come all the way from the house to get there!” He’s almost shouting. “Just come home and make it easier on everybody. You’re not ready.”

My blood is boiling! Why can’t he see the progress I’m making? “So sorry, Cole, that I interrupted your evening. I didn’t know Jake called you until he handed me the phone.” I reach for my bag and pull out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I find Sue's number and scribble it on a Post-it.

“What are you doing?” His voice is a low rumble.

I walk to the door and hold it open. “You should go.” He grabs his jacket and steps out in the hallway. “Please thank your mother for the phone, but I will not be needing Shadows to care for me anymore.” His face drops as I shove the cell in his hand. “I apologize for the inconvenience I caused you yesterday. Rest assured, it won’t happen again.” I don’t wait for his response as I close the door in his face. He says something I can’t make out, but I wait until I hear footsteps before I sneak a peek through the peephole. I watch as he leaves through the stairwell. My heart hurts, but I push aside the pain. I will not let my emotions run me, even if I did just let the love of my life walk out the door.
No, Savi, you kicked your love in the ass out the damn door. Fuck.

***

I toss the rag I was using aside and jump up on the bar top. My feet are killing me. My bed is screaming—no, my couch is screaming my name. It’s been nine days since I’ve heard from Cole. I won’t lie, it hurts like hell, but I won’t back down on living my life. It’s painful, but I know I need this time for me. I need to be whole. Keith has even backed off. With my new phone, I texted Sue my number. I couldn't possibly freeze everyone out, especially Sue. She was there for me when I lost our baby, and I love her like my own mother. She was concerned about me, but she didn’t pry.

“Can I ask you a huge favor?” Jake breaks into my thoughts, giving me the sweetest look and batting his lashes like a pro.

Oh no…

“Depends,” I counter, taking the glass of wine he just poured for me. Zack lets us drink on the house, most likely because he knows we aren't big drinkers.

“This guy I’m seeing is coming to town. It’s been two months since I’ve seen him, and we want to go out…but his buddy is traveling with him, and he doesn’t want to ditch him. Problem is—”

“He’s straight, I’m straight, and I’m the only one who knows we have a—”

“Secret for a secret.” He grins, knowing he’s got me.

I roll my eyes and wish the internet didn’t exist yet. Then my past wouldn’t have come back to bite me in the ass. “When and where?”

“Yay!” He claps then looks around quickly as he realizes we are still at work.

“Okay, Jake, as long as he knows he’s not getting laid and there’s zero chance of a second date.”

“Of course.” He jumps off the counter. “Thursday, drinks at Chaps.”

“What the hell is Chaps?” I call out.

He turns and gives me a devilish grin. “We live in Montana, sweetheart.”

I close my eyes, thinking a shopping trip may be in order…cowgirl boots are something I don’t own.

***

Cole

Cole types a quick message.

Cole: Where?

Keith: Still at work, having a drink with Jake.

Cole: Let her know.

Keith: Will do.

Cole makes his way into the living room where Abigail is nursing a cup of tea. She’s been battling a nasty cold and hasn’t been able to sleep very well.

She gives him a warm smile. “Come sit with me, honey.” She pats the seat next to her, and he does without a second thought. “You look stressed. Tell Aunt Abby what’s going on in that handsome head of yours.”

He smiles at the words she has used for as long as he can remember. “I think I may have pushed when I shouldn’t have,” he admits, letting out a long sigh. “We spent the night together, and in the morning, I pushed too hard, saying she should come back.” He shrugs, feeling lost. “I know I made it seem like it would be easier for everyone if she did, and I wasn’t thinking about how much she’s accomplished since she left. Savi kicked me out, Abigail, and gave me back the phone with all of our contacts in it.”

“Well, that explains the radio silence.” Abigail sips her tea.

He runs his hand along his neck. “She’s so stubborn, and I love that, but…” He can’t finish the sentence.

“What if she moves on to someone else?” she asks, finishing his question. He nods, as a shot to his stomach has him in discomfort. “Cole, you know Savannah only has eyes for you, but she needs some time to breathe without someone dictating her every move. Let her walk a little on her own, then she’ll run back to you. I promise.”

“How do you know?”

She sits her tea cup on her saucer and takes his hand in hers. “Because I’ve been on this earth a lot longer than you, and I know true love when I see it. You’re lucky enough to have found it this early in life. Most of us wait a lifetime or never find it. Give her space, honey. She loves you. Never doubt that.”

“All right.” He leans back and lets out a long sigh and watches the fire, trying to convince himself that Abby knows best. She usually does.

***

Savannah

I open my door to find Keith sitting on my couch and staring at his phone, and it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. He stands, and I know something isn’t right.

“Sit, Savi.” He nods to the chair, and I do. “You leave tomorrow morning for Washington. Pack enough for three days, and I’ll pick you up at seven a.m.” He heads for the door. “I’ll see you then.”

“Umm, okay,” I whisper, feeling the layer of ice that has formed over our friendship.

He starts to leave, but stops. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I lie, reluctant to draw on my earlier fight with Cole. He closes the door behind him, leaving me reeling with the thought of seeing The American again.

Sleep doesn’t happen, if it ever even was a possibility. I’m running on thirty minutes per night. Once Jake spent the night after drinking too much, and I managed to get in a solid four hours. It’s just not the same as being wrapped in Cole’s safety net.

At six I’m packed and out the door, tired of staring at the living room wall. Yes, my place seems homier since Jake helped me decorate, but one could go crazy with how much I’m staring at it. I slip a note under Jake's door letting him know I’ll be gone for a few days and to help himself to my coffee. We exchanged keys a few days ago.

I take the elevator because I have time and find myself a chair in the lobby. The man behind the desk gives me a nod before going back to playing something on his phone. I count how many times the heater kicks in, how many tiles are on the floor and ceiling, and how many times the man at the desk glances my way. After sitting for forty-five minutes, I can’t take any more. Needing to do something, I open my phone to the only two numbers saved, Jake and Sue, and press call on the second name.

“Savannah?” Sue asks, puzzled. She has a right to be. I haven’t spoken to her in over a week, and no doubt she’s heard about my blow-up with Cole. I’m not trying to be distant with her; I just find it easier to pull away from everyone at the house altogether.

“Hi, Sue. Did I wake you?”

She gives a little laugh. “No, I’ve been up for some time. You know how I love the mornings.” She pauses. “Is everything all right, dear?”

No.
“Yes, I’m…”
Lost, tired, scared about my trip.
“I just wanted to see how you are.”

“I'm fine. I've just been battling the snow like everyone this winter. How are you holding up?”

“Fine,” I answer too quickly.

I hear her seat creak. “Okay, so we played the pleasant, do you want to tell me why you’re really calling?”

“I’m scared,” I confess.

“About? Your trip?”

I close my eyes. Of course she knows about Washington. “Yes, and then some.”

“The trip, I understand. I would be too. That’s perfectly normal.” She pauses. “What else are you afraid of, Savannah?”

I reach for my necklace and clasp the snowflake pendant. My throat tightens with thoughts of Cole, but no words come out because I don’t even know where to start.

“Savi, when you get back, I want you to come to Shadows and spend Saturday afternoon and evening with us. It’s been too long since you’ve been home, and everyone misses you. I understand you need your space, but it’s not healthy for you to isolate yourself from everyone who loves you.”
Home.
The word drips with emotion. I miss everyone terribly. How can I say no to Sue?

“All right,” I whisper in fear my voice will break. I look up and see Keith speaking with the security guard. He’s eyeing me as I say goodbye to Sue.

Chapter Three

“You ready?” Keith asks, reaching for the handle of my suitcase. I follow him out into the morning frost. It’s still dark, making everything seem that much colder. The SUV is still warm, and we drive in silence all the way to the airport. It saddens me that Keith is pulling away, but can I blame him? It’s what I told Cole I needed. Isn’t it what I want, the chance to find myself? I can’t do it if I have Keith taking care of me every day. So I keep my mouth shut, face forward, and try to push back the sneaking fear that’s dancing along my spine.

The airport is quiet, with hardly anyone around. Keith hands me my ticket as someone approaches us. I watch as Keith holds out his hand and gives the man a firm handshake.

“Savannah, this is Agent Hahn. He’s on Frank’s detail. He’ll be traveling with you to Washington and making sure you are well briefed before the testimony.” I nearly fall over right there. Keith isn’t coming; he won’t be my rock as I go through all of this. “You’ll be fine, and I’ll be here to pick you up when you return.” My heart slams into my stomach, looking for a way out.

I’m mute. All I can do is give a slight nod and follow Agent Hahn to the gate, where we walk out to the tiny plane and board. The plane that will drop me off at the feet of my worst nightmare.

As soon as we are in the air, I mentally check out.

***

Cole

Cole listens to his father brief him and his team about a target who needs to be extracted from Mexico City. They are possibly holding a child for ransom, and the parents happen to be the owner of the Garrisons’ Casinos, one of the biggest casino companies worldwide and known to have a shady side. They’ve been asked to check it out and see what they can come up with.

Keith knocks and steps inside the door, halting the conversation. “Savi is on the plane. She should be there within the hour.”

Mark’s jaw drops as he shifts in his seat. “You didn’t go with her?” Keith shakes his head, and Mark turns to look at Cole. “Why didn’t he go?”

“We have to work,” Cole mutters, picking up a file, but apparently Mark has more to say.

“Ummm, what?” Mark pushes himself out of his chair and stares at them. “You mean Savi is on that plane by herself?”

“Let it go,” Daniel warns.

“No! Someone should be with her. She’s facing The American and Lynn! Cole, you should be there, not hiding behind your desk.”

Cole drops the thick folder, making John jump. “You don’t think I want to be there, Mark? You don’t think it’s turning me inside out that my girl is a state away and only an arm’s length from the people who tried to kill her? I was
ordered
to stay behind and do my job. I was
ordered
to leave for Mexico when all I want to do is be in that courtroom with her. I’m not hiding. I’m following orders since I didn’t last time. I
have
to, for the sake of everyone, especially for the sake of Shadows’ reputation.” His anger is seeping out of him as he looks at Mark, who has backed off and is nodding. He gets it now.

Paul’s phone rings, taking some of the tension from the room. “We have a hit. We should get moving.”

***

Savannah

I shake the entire drive to the Washington base. Agent Hahn is friendly, but I just want to stay in my zone, turned off, not answering questions about the weather. We really have nothing in common. I think of Sue, wondering if I should call her just to hear her voice…but that’s not the voice I really want to hear.

“Hello again, Savannah.” Frank smiles as he greets me at the car. “Please come inside.” He hands me a visitor badge and leads me into a large gray building where everything is muted, from the color of the walls to the people’s clothing and even their voices. “This is my office. Can I get you anything?”

“Coffee would be great, thanks,” I say in a quiet voice to fit the surroundings, then take a seat across from his dull metal desk littered with papers. On the wall are a few pictures of a younger version of Frank starting out in the Army, and two others with President Obama and former President Bush. Medals hang in wooden boxes, and an old-fashioned rifle sits in the corner as though waiting to be mounted. He probably never got around to doing it. He hands me a coffee before he takes a seat. “Thank you.”

Flipping open a file, he gets right to it. “So you were first taken from your condo in New York by a Raul Paru.”

“Please jump right in,” I mutter, taken aback. “I don’t know who Raul Paru even is.” Frank hands me a picture, and it takes me a minute, but then I see it, and the memory comes flooding back. My cut leg, the cold, thick substance which later I found out was blood, and the smell in the van. “The painters? These guys were painting my condo the week I was taken. I remember his belt buckle,” I say as I press my finger against the buckle in the photo. I'll never forget that longhorn Texas belt buckle.

“Yes, they were scoping out the place, watching you, learning your habits.”

I hand the picture back and remember Lynn making a comment about how you can buy those belt buckles on any street corner. I feel the wind being sucked out of me. That bitch! I can’t believe she knew what they were doing because she fucking hired them! I wonder how many other times I ran into people she had hired to help take me out.

Frank and I go over all the details of my file, and I am pretty much fried by the time I am taken back to my hotel by Agent Hahn, who is staying with me. I am thankful for the two bedroom suite. He offers to order dinner for both of us, but I decline, just wanting to get some sleep. Tomorrow Frank has me meeting some lawyers, and I want to be able to stay awake for all the legal talk that’s to come.

***

The day is a blur much like the first. I am taken into a conference room and questioned for about four hours on practically the same things, only worded differently. They give me so much advice I almost forget my own name. I'm not sure if I am coming or going. Finally, after I am about to throw in the towel, they inform me that I am to wear a simple black dress with heels, and wear my hair down with no jewelry. I reach for my chain and hold it tightly, and one of the women agrees it is fine, but nothing more. They don’t want me looking too flashy. I don’t understand why, but I'm beyond caring. I just need to get through tomorrow, and then I can get back to my mountain.

“You want something to eat?” Agent Hahn asks as we walk back to the hotel. I shake my head. “How about a drink?” I look up to see him smiling. “I could really use a drink after that.”

“That sounds really good, actually.” I smile back and follow him to a small Mexican restaurant.

“Umm,” I point to the sign, “not to be a pain, but can we get anything else but Mexican food?”

Agent Hahn chuckles a little, then points across the street to an Italian joint. “Is that better?”

“Much, thanks.” I follow him to the crosswalk. We take a seat in the corner of the restaurant and are soon sipping a glass of merlot.

“How are you holding up?” he asks, picking up a piece of bread, dipping it in some oil and vinegar, and popping in it his mouth.

I shrug because I really don’t know. “Ask me tomorrow.”

He chuckles but grows quiet, thinking. “Do you know who I am?”

My fingers twist the stem of the glass, making the wine run up the sides then bleed back down, leaving heavy lines. “No, but if you’re about to tell me you work for The American or the Cartels at least give me a five minute head start.”

“Ha!” He tosses his head back. “No, hell no. I was the one who found Logan the day he escaped.”

“Oh,” I whisper, instantly feeling indebted to this guy.

“I was also there when you were found at The American’s house,” he adds.

I smile at him. I’m starting to get used to the fact that so many people have met me at some point, even if I don’t remember them. I feel the need to explain my behavior. “I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish. I’m just trying to get through this so I can figure out what I want to do with what’s left of my life.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“It is!” I laugh, thinking it’s nice to still be able to.

Our food comes, and we pick away, talking about little things. It isn’t until he brings up the training for the Green Berets that something nags at me from the edge of my memory
again.

“What?” he asks, seeing my face.

“Ever have this feeling you’re forgetting something important?” I close my eyes and try to think. “I think it’s got something to do with Davie...the newest recruit at the house.” I see Agent Hahn studying me. “I’m sorry, it’s nothing.”

“It’s okay. Yes, I have, and it’s annoying.”

“Very,” I agree. “It’s like seeing the end of a rope, but it’s just out of reach, I feel like if I could only grab it and tug, the memory would come to me.” I laugh and shake my head. “Oh well, tomorrow is going to be exhausting. I guess we should get back.”

“Yeah,” he grabs his coat, “let’s get back.”

“Agent Hahn?”

“Yes?” He turns to look at me.

“Thanks for taking me out for dinner and the talk. It helped a bit.”

He hands me my hat. “Happy to hear that, Savannah.”

Later, lying in bed with a slight buzz on, just enough to keep the shakes away, but not enough to make my head stop spinning thinking about tomorrow, my cellphone goes off beside me. A flutter of hope that maybe it’s Cole goes through me, but it’s not.

Jake: Coffee doesn’t taste right.

I smirk and roll onto my side.

Savi: Yes it does.

Jake: It does, but I’m bored without you.

I miss my friend too.

Savi: Sorry. I’m coming home Thursday morning.

Jake: Good! You still on for our double date?

Shit.

Savi: It’s not a date, but yes.

Jake: You want some dirt? I have good and bad.

I think for a moment…

Savi: Maybe…bad first?

There’s a small pause, and I wonder if the news is about work. I wonder if someone got fired. Yikes, I hope not.

Jake: I saw Logan in town yesterday…with the town bitch Christina. She had her claws all over him. Just thought you should know.

My stomach sinks…oh…

Jake: Now for the good news! Zack hired some new staff…we're talking yummy staff! I think one may play for my team
.

One can dream.

I flop on my back and feel my heart squeeze to the point of pain.

Savi: Thanks for letting me know, and I hope so for your sake.

Jake: You all right?

Not at all.

Savi: I hope after tomorrow. I should go…night.

Jake: Call me if you need to chat. Night, Savi. xo

***

“You look…”

“I know.” I snag the coffee Hahn got me and take a few long sips. “I didn’t get much sleep.”

“Did you get any?” he asks, slipping into his suit jacket and taking in the dark circles under my eyes.

“Would you?”

“No, probably not.” He checks the time. “We should go.”

Frank works wonders with this case, keeping the media at bay. The only ones who know I am going to be in court today are the lawyers and the judge.

I am told to sit on a bench and wait for my name to be called. Agent Hahn and Frank are busy talking to the lawyers down the hall, far enough away that I can’t hear what they’re saying.

My nerves are shot. I can feel a slight trembling starting in my legs. To say I'm scared would be putting it mildly. I am freaking out, full throttle. Every breath I take gets harder, like there is a weight on my chest. My phone goes off, making my purse vibrate. I was supposed to turn it off, but I forgot. Not thinking, I answer it.

“Hello?”

“Savannah?” Cole’s voice washes over me. “Are you all right? Are you at the court?”

“I-I don’t think I can do this.” The words slip past my lips. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Hey, baby, you can. Think about how much your testimony will count. How long he will go away for. I know this is scary, but you are strong, and you can do this.”