Mending Places (18 page)

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, never wanting to open them again.
Oh, God, right now would be a great time for the Rapture, don’t You think?

Micah bowed his head as the pastor called for silent prayer. Hanna’s hand felt cold in his. Cold and small. But soft as a rose petal. He concentrated on keeping his hand perfectly still, but the more he thought about it, the more his muscles seemed to twitch. He imagined her hand
stroking his face, his mouth. All he could think about was their twined hands inches from his body.
Get a grip, Gallagher. Think about something else.
He began a prayer but didn’t get far. The child on his other side was getting antsy and began swinging their hands back and forth.

The pastor began praying aloud.

Then he felt it. A barely discernible movement that grew into a fullblown caress. His breath caught. A shiver wiggled up his spine sending tingles through all his limbs.
Have mercy.
She was … she was stroking his hand, brushing her thumb gently across the back of his own. The movement stirred the tiny hairs on his thumb making his skin tingle with awareness. He felt every nuance. Every cell she touched. It accelerated his heart, his breathing. How could one little touch incite him to such—

Just as suddenly, she stopped. Her hand, her arm, stiffened against his. He squelched the urge to peek. But instantly he knew. She hadn’t meant to do it. Somehow, she’d done it mindlessly, then stopped when she’d realized what she was doing.

The prayer ended, and as he glanced at Hanna, who avoided looking at him, he smothered the grin that tugged at his mouth. If he were a cruel man, he could have a lot of fun with this one.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
 

Natalie answered the phone, balancing it between her shoulder and ear.

Hanna greeted her. “Tonight’s the big night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and I’m feeling really nervous about it. But I’m glad Micah was able to recommend someone.”

“Have you two talked about anything yet? Has Keith told you who the woman is?”

Natalie’s stomach clenched the way it always did when she thought about her husband with another woman. “No. It’s killing me, but I thought it’d be better if we waited until we were in Mr. Schmidt’s office.”

“Keith doesn’t say anything? Is he still getting home late?”

The ache started in her midsection and radiated outward, the way it did every night as she waited for him to get home. “I don’t know if he’s working late or seeing her. I haven’t wanted to know. I’m afraid if I knew the truth, I’d blow up at him and make him leave again.”

Hanna sighed. “You’re in such an awful spot, Nat. I wish I could do something.”

“You can do something. Tell me how things are coming along with you and Micah.”

“We don’t have to talk about me. My problems are minuscule compared to what you’re going through.”

Nat felt a little smile tilt her lips. “Yes, but your problems are a lot more fun to talk about than mine. Please. Give me something else to think about for a few minutes.”

“There’s nothing exciting to report. He’s busy ignoring me, and I’m busy making a fool of myself.”

“Ooooh, you can’t stop there. Details please.”

Hanna breathed a self-deprecating laugh. “He went to church yesterday with me and Gram, and the pastor had everyone hold hands during the quiet time.”

“And …”

“Oh, Nat, it was so embarrassing! Gram was on the other side of me, and I started caressing her hand, and you know how I tend to—”

“Oh no, you didn’t.”

“I did! I could’ve died.”

Laughter bubbled up in Natalie’s throat and spilled out.

“It’s not funny.”

Natalie couldn’t seem to stop laughing, and it felt so good. It had been so long since she’d had a good laugh.

Her sister’s voice rang with the pretense of irritation. “Fine. Go ahead and laugh at my humiliation; see if I care.”

“What did he say afterward? Did you tell him you didn’t mean to?” Natalie contained another chuckle.

“I didn’t say anything. I was hoping he’d just forget the whole thing.”

“And did he?”

“He had a smirk on his face the rest of the day. Like he was amused with my … my little
crush
on him. But the good news is that I think he cares too. Maybe he won’t say so, but I see signs of it in the way he looks at me. There’s so much heat in his expression, if I were ice cream, I’d melt. When he looks at me like that, I know he feels it too. I wish I knew what was holding him back.”

“Maybe he had a bad relationship, got burned before, and is afraid to try again.”

“I don’t know. He keeps alluding to his dark past like he’s trying to scare me away.”

Natalie frowned. “What kind of past?” If he was interested in her sister, she wanted to know what kind of guy he was.

“Nothing to worry about, Nat. You should see him with Gram. Whenever she does something forgetful or loses something, he handles her so gently. And he’s patient with the kids and great with the customers.”

“It sounds like he might deserve you. Maybe.”

Hanna laughed. “Spoken like a true sister.”

Natalie heard a knock on the door. “Oh, gotta run, Hanna, the sitter’s here.”

“I’ll be praying about your meeting.”

They said good-bye, then Natalie went to let the sitter in.

Twenty minutes later, she followed the directions she’d taken from the secretary at One Accord Counseling. Slowing her Suburban, she slipped out of the rush-hour traffic and into the parking lot of the business complex.

When she saw the sign, she pulled into a parking space. The lot had two cars, and neither of them were Keith’s. She glanced at her watch as she walked toward the door. She was five minutes early. She hoped Keith wouldn’t be late but knew she shouldn’t expect anything else.

She entered the lobby, looking around to get her bearings. The office behind the glass partition was dark and empty, but she saw a sign-in sheet and scribbled her name on the line. Apparently the secretary worked regular business hours, but Mr. Schmidt worked evenings when necessary.

She took a seat on an upholstered chair and clutched her purse in her lap like a lifeline. What would happen tonight? Would she find out who he was seeing? Would she find out her husband was in love with the woman?

Getting him to agree to counseling had been a taxing effort in itself. He’d claimed he was too busy to see a counselor every week, claimed it was a bunch of malarkey anyway. But after three days of gentle prodding, he’d agreed. To one session only, but it was a start.

She looked around the lobby. On the wallpapered walls hung prints of quiet outdoor scenes. The mauve carpeting looked fairly new, except for the path that was worn from the entry to the hallway. How many
troubled marriages had been renewed within these walls? How many had ended?

A door opened down the hall and, moments later, a woman appeared. She avoided Natalie’s eyes as she slipped out the door. Natalie watched her scurry down the walk and wondered if the woman’s marriage had ended. Had her husband left her? Was he involved with another woman? The cloud of perfume she’d left: behind carried no clues.

She heard another door open and took a deep breath. Would she have to face Mr. Schmidt alone, like she was the only one who cared about her marriage?
Maybe you are.

The door beside her opened. Keith entered, and she smiled with relief. They exchanged greetings just before Mr. Schmidt rounded the corner. He introduced himself, insisting they call him Jim, then they followed him down the corridor. Relief at Keiths presence carried her to the office, but once they entered, fear twisted in her stomach as she wondered again what she would discover tonight.

The office looked like the living room or den of someone’s home. The lighting was neither bright nor dim, and the furniture was the pillowed, comfy sort that beckoned you after a long day.

Mr. Schmidt gestured to them to take a seat. Natalie sat in the love seat, but Keith took the padded chair instead of sitting beside her.

“Now,” Jim began, “what brings you to One Accord?” He slipped on a pair of round, frameless spectacles.

Natalie looked at Keith, whose arms lay folded across his chest. He looked toward her, then away.

How did she begin? She knew so little of what was going on. “We’re having some problems.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about starting when you first realized something was wrong,” Jim said.

She glanced at her husband. Apparently he was only here to fill the chair. “I was putting away his clothes one day …” She continued the
story from the time she found the condom to last week, when she asked Keith to move back home. Tears flowed freely down her face as she relived the moments, and Jim plucked a tissue from the box between them and handed it to her.

She wiped her face repeatedly, crumpling the tissue between trembling fingers in between. Keith remained impassive, a virtual wall of indifference. Finally she finished talking, ran out of things to say.

Jim looked at Keith. “Natalie doesn’t seem to have the full picture. Maybe you can fill in the blanks?” Jim crossed his legs and leaned back against his chair.

The clock on the wall ticked off time. The silence thickened. Natalie watched Keith’s jaw twitch and knew he didn’t want to talk. Didn’t even want to be here.

Somewhere in the building a vacuum cleaner roared to life.

“How are you feeling right now, Keith?”

“Mad. Cornered! I feel like a trap’s been set for me, and you’re both just waiting for me to reach in for the cheese.”

Interesting that you compared yourself to a rat,
Natalie thought.

“Would you agree that your marriage has problems?” Jim asked.

Keith cursed. “Isn’t that why we’re here?”

Natalie watched her fingers fold the tissue, then unfold it. She avoided Jim’s eyes. He was a Christian; what must he think of Keith with his belligerent attitude and filthy mouth?

“You’ve admitted to having an affair, yet Natalie seems to know little about the details,” Jim said. “Are you willing to answer her questions?”

Keith shifted in his chair. “Depends on what she wants to know.”

“Natalie?” Jim turned the floor over to her.

Oh, God, it’s time to learn the truth. I don’t know if I’m ready to hear it. I don’t know if I can bear to know the details.
She wiped away the tears that began flowing down her face. “I—I guess I want to know who it is. I
need
to know who it is.”

Jim looked at Keith.

Keith crossed his arms again. “I already told you. You don’t know her.”

“Does she work at the bank? Live in the neighborhood? Work at the coffee shop? Tell me! I deserve to know that much, don’t I?” The words scalded her throat.

He pressed his lips together. “She works at the bank.”

His words sliced her heart, left an awful empty feeling in the pit of her stomach.
He’s been with her every day for how long? Spending more time with her than me!
There was no stopping the tears now.

“How long?” she asked when she could talk again. “How long has this been going on?” She steeled herself for the answer.

“I don’t know, awhile.”

Anger nipped at her.
“Awhile?
How long is that? A few months? A year? How long?”

“Since around Christmas, all right?”

She sucked in a breath. Shock tumbled through her midsection in waves. Then the ache. The ache that had filled her to varying degrees for the last six weeks. “She’s been working there for
six months?
You’ve been cheating for
six months?
How could you, Keith? How could you live with yourself? How could you face me, face the boys every night?”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Well, it did! It did, and look where it’s left us! Our marriage is in shambles.”

She’d almost forgotten Jim’s presence until he spoke. “Is there anything else you’d like to ask, Natalie?”

Her breaths came in gulps. She wiped her eyes and nose. She had dozens of questions, but none more important than this. “Are you in love with her?” The words squeaked from her throat.
Please, Lord, no.

“I don’t know.” Keith raked a hand through his hair. “I’m confused. I don’t know what to think anymore.”