Mental Floss: Instant Knowledge (8 page)

(Eskimo style)

USEFUL FOR:
when you’re out of ketchup and no one wants to run to the store

KEYWORDS:
seal, oil, or do you want any sauce with that?

THE FACT:
Forget ketchup and salsa, Inuits (often called “Eskimos”) consider raw seal oil the king of all condiments.

In fact, the Inuits are quite happy to slather the excellent sauce on baked salmon, sheefish, whitefish, caribou, moose, and anything else you can catch up north. Inuits also like their seal oil on “frozen-raw” moose or caribou and fish. So what’s the secret to this not-so-secret sauce? The oil is produced by cutting up freshly slaughtered seal blubber into chunks and leaving them outside in a bucket for five days, stirring occasionally, until the blubber naturally renders and becomes oil. An adult seal produces about 5 gallons of usable seal oil. Once ready, just add A-1 or Tabasco to taste (really)!

(as in the first guy to die wielding a baton)

USEFUL FOR:
cocktail parties, classical performances, and just in case you ever happen to be stuck in an elevator with Zubin Mehta

KEYWORDS:
orchestra, conductors, or “the Meistro”

THE FACT:
Believe it or not, the very first orchestra conductor died in the act (of conducting).

Jean-Baptiste Lully (1632–1687) was the first documented conductor. Before him, most musical groups followed their first violinist or their keyboard player. Lully was the first musician ever to use a baton. However, his “baton” was a heavy staff, six feet long, which he pounded on the ground in time to the music. Unfortunately, this staff proved to be his undoing. One day, while merrily beating time (in a concert to celebrate Louis XIV’s return to health), he stuck the staff into his foot by mistake. He developed gangrene and died. Not a good role model for conductors worldwide.

(and the philosopher who loved ’em)

USEFUL FOR:
cocktail parties, academic gatherings, convincing your pal there’s
probably
someone out there that’ll find ’em attractive (don’t make any promises)

KEYWORDS:
free will, philosophy, Descartes, or really bizarre fantasy

THE FACT:
Father of Modern Philosophy and smooth operator René “I Think Therefore I Am” Descartes liked his women cross-eyed.

It’s true. Apparently, old René had a thing for cross-eyed women thanks to a childhood fascination with a cross-eyed playmate. And as if the fact weren’t strange enough, the case might be the only example of a sexual fetish changing the history of Western thought. As he describes in the
Principles of Philosophy
, after working hard at it for a while Descartes was finally able to condition his body to find straight-eyed women attractive (good for Descartes, maybe, but a disaster for the hard-up, cross-eyed ladies of Europe). But it was actually this experience that led him to believe in free will and helped him come to the conclusion that the mind can control the body’s impulses.

(and the blind guy who invented it)

USEFUL FOR:
cocktail parties, dates, chatting up engineers, and actually impressing just about anyone

KEYWORDS:
Helen Keller, speeding tickets, or motion sickness

THE FACT:
You know that gadget that keeps your lead foot from giving you a ticket? Well, it was invented by a blind guy.

Seriously! His name’s Ralph Teetor, and he was blinded in a shop accident at age five, but apparently harbored no resentment for sharp tools. In fact, he went on to attend college and became one of the most respected mechanical engineers of his era. While Teetor was responsible for a lot of vehicular improvements, including automatic transmission, he’s best known for making it possible for even leadfoots to stick to one speed. Apparently, inspiration struck during World War II, when the government set a 35 mph speed limit to conserve gas and tires. The inventor came up with a device that could regulate car speed without the driver touching the gas pedal. After a few tweaks and many dubious names (including “controlomatic” and “speedostat”), cruise control premiered in select 1958 Chrysler models. It soon became an $86 option known as “autopilot.”

(how to wipe your sin slate clean)

USEFUL FOR:
stirring up philosophical discussion, impressing academics, and chatting up anyone trying to incite religious wars (not that you should know such people)

KEYWORDS:
holy war, holy crusade, or holy crap

THE FACT:
By the 11th century, the Christian Church was split into eastern and western factions, and the holy city of Jerusalem had been under control of the Muslims for a couple hundred years. That is, until Pope Urban II had a big idea.

In 1095, Pope Urban II summoned clergy and nobles to a council in the village of Clermont in central France. After listing a number of alleged atrocities on eastern Christians by the Muslims and arguing the need to recapture Jerusalem, the pope cajoled the crowd into taking up arms against the so-called heathens. And with a flair for the dramatic, the pope stated that “God wills it.” Of course, Urban did come up with a clever scheme for paying the warriors. For going to the Holy Land and fighting the Muslims, crusaders were offered a heck of a deal: Not only would their past sins be forgiven, but present and future ones as well! With free passes to heaven on the horizon, armies of crusaders stormed toward the Holy Land, changing the region forever.