Mercy for the Wicked (17 page)

“Close my eyes?” I frowned, wanting to see him for as long as he was there, but I did as he asked.  “Okay, now what?”

“Now focus on the Grace, can you feel it inside you?”  Adam laid a hand over my heart.

“I feel something,” I sighed, not at all sure it was the Grace when he touched me like that.  His chuckle was warm and intimate, his voice falling in pitch. 

“This is just like healing, you can focus the Grace through your hand.  Concentrate on doing that right now, push the power to your hand, you don’t need to be afraid to do that, right?”

I nodded, gathering the Grace in the palm of my hand where I could feel its warmth even though I couldn’t see it.  “Now what?”

“Now, instead of directing it into someone, keep building it bigger and stronger… good, just like that.” I heard the approval in his voice.  “Picture a big glowing ball of energy, like a fireball.”

Doing as he asked, my hand started to feel unpleasantly hot and tingly, and a fine sheen of sweat broke out across my brow.  “How long do I have to do this for?  It’s… heavy.”  Maybe that was the wrong word, but I couldn’t think of a more appropriate one. 

“Good, now I want you to push it out of your hand like you’re shoving at something solid like a bowling ball, ready?  On the count of three.  One, two, three… push!”

Oddly enough, the visual worked for me and I felt the Grace leave my hand with a measure of relief.  Relief that was short lived as I heard his groan and my eyes popped open.  “Oh God, I forgot you were right there in the line of fire!  Are you alright?”

“Never better,” he grunted, falling to sit against the edge of the bed on the floor. 

“I’m sorry…”

“Forget it, it’s fine.  It’s what I told you to do, right?  See, I’m already feeling better.”

“Yeah, you look great,” I frowned over his pale complexion.  “Can I maybe…” I laid my hand over his heart, looking to heal him this time. 

“No, you save your strength, I’ll be alright in a couple of minutes.  You shouldn’t do that too often in one day, it’ll wear you out.”  He laid his hand over mine, trapping it against his heart and I was reminded of the Grace he’d given me before we parted the last time. 

“Why did you give me some of yours then?  That was more than a simple healing or a ball of power like I just did.  It felt like you gave me part of yourself.”

“It was the only way I could think of to stay close to you,” he shrugged as if that made perfect sense. 

“Won’t that get you into trouble with the guys upstairs?” 

“Nah, they already know you’ve got Sam’s Grace, what’s a little more?  With any luck they won’t even notice.”  It seemed a bit risky to me, but I had to admit I was touched by the gesture. 

“Does it really make you feel closer to me?”

Adam pressed a kiss to the center of my palm.  “You don’t?”

“Sure
I
do, but I’m the one who got the Grace.  It feels like… like a warm hug sometimes.”

A roll of the eyes was given.  “I think I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear you say that.”

“Oh, like you’re too cool to admit you need a hug every now and then?  What does it feel like for you then?  And choose your words carefully, if you say something disgusting I’ll blast you again.” 

A myriad of expressions flitted across his face and I could tell he was thinking of and discarding a few cutting quips.  But then his face softened, and he wrapped an arm around my waist.  “It feels like, if I close my eyes I can almost imagine you lying there beside me at night.  I can almost smell your hair on my pillow and hear the way you snuffle in your sleep,” he smiled softly, for once devoid of his trademark smirk.

It was a vivid enough picture for my mind to supply the other half of it.  What he would look like stretched out in my bed, the sheets covering him just barely.  “How would you know what I sound like when I sleep?”  I asked suddenly, seizing upon that single detail.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve watched you sleep,” he shook his head. 

“Not at all creepy,” I laughed, sobering when I saw he was absolutely serious.  “Why didn’t you ever visit me when I was conscious?  If I was on your mind so much the whole time we’ve been apart… I mean, who are you trying to fool?  If anyone was paying attention, who would be able to tell the difference if you were in there watching me sleep or with me in bed for Pete’s sake?”

Adam pointed skyward.  “Think of it like Santa Claus.  They see you when you’re sleeping, they know when you’re awake.”

“Eewh.”

“Tell me about it.  Only if they happen to be looking of course, but I knew they were keeping an eye on you, so it seemed simpler to stay away.  You sure made it hard though.”

“Me?  What did I do?”  I was the one who’d been left behind. 

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch you go home with that bozo night after night?”

“Ben?”

“Was there another bozo I missed?” he replied sourly.

“What do you want me to say?  You left me, remember?  You acted like you were never coming back again.  You didn’t return my calls, on the phone or otherwise.  What was I supposed to do?”

“Wait in celibacy, saving yourself for the off chance we might one day reunite?”  He gave me a cheesy grin and I laughed with him, because it was almost true.  Maybe I’d continued to date Ben, but I’d been saving my heart on just such a fantasy. 

“Does it seem as if that’s likely?”  I asked earnestly, willing him silently to truly answer me once and for all, because I could wait, if I knew there was something to wait for. 

Adam was silent for long seconds, weighing his answer carefully, judging by the look on his face.  “I’m working on it.”

“Working on what exactly?”

He shook his head, “I can’t go into it right now, but Mercy, you get that this isn’t how I want things to be, right?”  I wanted to believe him, but he kept leaving me so often!  “If it was up to me, I’d take you out of here, hole up with you for a year or ten in a little place on the beach in Fiji until things settle down, and we can see where things go from there.”

“Fiji?  Why Fiji?”

“You would prefer Iceland?  I’m open to suggestions, but I’m thinking I’d rather see you in a bikini than a parka.”

“I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.”  There, I came out and said it.  No more games or taunts, Adam was the one I wanted, heart and soul. 

“I want that too,” he said gently, linking his fingers through mine.  “But right this moment it’s not safe for us to do that, even beyond the things that you already know about.  I’m not saying it’ll never happen, but it’ll take some time.”

There were worse things than the drama I was already going through?  Something told me I didn’t want to know about them.  “Time as in human time or angel time?”  I already figured out they measured time in much longer spans than us little people did.  Patience had never been one of my virtues but I was willing to give it a shot. 

“I don’t want to promise you something and have it fall through.  If you decide you can’t wait for me… that’ll suck, but I’ll understand.”  Adam swallowed uncomfortably as if he tasted something sour.  “Actually no, I’ll just have to fight for you when the time comes, that’s all.”  He looked happier with that decision and I gave him a faint smile of my own.

“Sam said you can come visit me in the Ether and no one would ever know, is that true?”  If it was, it seemed like the perfect compromise.  That way we could still see each other every night.  Hell, I’d start taking naps during the day…

“Hmm, I’ll have to think about that one.  It could be risky, but… maybe we could make it work.  You can’t get there from here, so we’ve got some time to work the details out.  It’s a good idea though.”  He gave my fingers a squeeze.

“Maybe we should come up with a code word, so I’ll know it’s you.”

“Why wouldn’t it be me?” his brows drew together in confusion.

“Because Azazael is out there, and that seems to be the way he likes to get at me the most.  How hard would it be for him to appear as you and get what he wants?”

“Good point.  Okay then, my safeword is Belgium.”

“As in waffles?”

“That’s Belgian.”

“Whatever.”  Vaguely aware of what ‘safeword’ was used for, it put all manner of interesting images in my mind that I wish hadn’t crept in there in the first place.  “I don’t even want to know where that comes from.” 

Adam placed a chaste kiss to the crown of my head, pushing himself up to his feet with his usual vigor, and I assumed he was fully recovered from my burst of Grace.  “Well, enough of the pillow talk. I’d better motor before someone notices there’s a bonus on the demon buffet line.” 

Scrambling to my feet, I followed him to the balcony where he cautiously peeked out at the skies overhead.  “How did you get in here by the way?  I though it was impossible to get by the gate guard?”  Naberios, or whatever his name was, scared the crap out of me, and I was under the impression that angels couldn’t make themselves imperceptible to demons. 

“Nobby owed me a favor so he let me pass.  It’s getting back out that’s gonna be the tricky part,” he grimaced.  “Come here and give me one for the road, I’m gonna need it.”  Adam pulled me into his arms, kissing me tenderly, almost reverently before crushing me to his chest for one last embrace. 

“I love you,” I murmured into his chest, feeling his arms tighten around me almost imperceptibly when he heard the words. 

“I know.” He gave a long slow sigh.  “Now stay put or I’ll kill you myself.”  His voice rough with emotion, Adam launched himself off the balcony, wings unfurling to catch the air.  I watched him grow smaller and smaller in the distance before he vanished from sight, considering his last words. 

I knew I should stay put and wait for Adam to figure out how to keep me protected.  I should hope that Sam would be able to handle Azazael and somehow get word to me when it was safe to come home.  I should trust all my friends and family to understand if I disappeared for a while, and be there waiting for me with open arms when I got back (not to mention my job).  I should be patient, and use the time in Midian to gain a little control over my abilities.

Yeah, none of that happened.

* * *

After another deep and dreamless night’s rest, I woke up to find the white haired witch standing next to my bed, gazing down at me in puzzlement.  I’d seen the same expression on Sam’s face a dozen times since he moved in with me, so maybe that’s why I didn’t jump halfway across the room when I found her there.  “Something I can help you with?” I asked, keeping very, very still.  Raum called her a witch, and she was an odd one at that, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from her. 

“How can you sleep with so many pieces jumbled inside of you?”

“I beg your pardon?” I blinked. 

“They’re all swirling inside, part of you, but not.  Doesn’t it get awfully crowded?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but um, is that why you came to see me?”  I looked for any sign of Nelo, but he was nowhere to be found.  Was it strange that I craved a demon’s company to make me feel safe from a human? 

“Oh, I nearly forgot!” She clapped her hands together with delight.  “I found you!”

“I didn’t know I was lost…”

“You made a new pattern, and it’s all snarled and tangled, but I found you all the same,” she beamed happily. 

“Um, good…?” 

“I thought you might like to have cakes and tea with me.”  Oriana held her hands out entreatingly and I found myself thinking she was a few cakes short of a picnic.  Then again, maybe she was a little lonely?

“Yeah sure, cakes and tea it is.  Just let me wake up and wash my face, alright?”

“I could braid your hair if you like?”

Oh yeah, she was lonely.
  “Maybe later,” I hedged, ducking out of the room to go wash up.  She was waiting in the exact same spot when I came out of the washroom, I’m not even sure she blinked the entire time I was gone.  When I approached, her gaze remained unfocused, with the same thousand yard stare that originally made me think she was blind.  I wasn’t sure if I should say something, or wave my hand in front of her eyes or what.  All at once she snapped out of it, face lighting up with a cheerful smile.

“Shall we go then?”

“Go?”  Somehow I’d thought we’d be eating cakes and tea in my room.  Wasn’t I a captive?

“Yes, to my quarters.  Unless you’d prefer to eat here?  Your terrace is much larger than mine, but I do share the same view.”

“No, out is fine,” I amended quickly.  Better than fine, I was eager to get out of my luxurious prison.  It turned out we didn’t go all that far, Oriana’s room was down the hall from mine, and she did have a very similar set up, only a little smaller.  Or maybe it only felt smaller because it was so crammed full of knick knacks and odd curios.  “How long have you been here?”

Her brow twitched with uncertainty.  “I hardly know.  Time moves differently here,” she replied, moving out to her terrace which was covered with a jungle of plants, some of which I recognized, and some completely alien. 

“Differently how?”  Oriana shrugged her narrow shoulders, and I came to understand that was all the answer I was going to get as she went to the railing.  “Don’t you want to try and get home?”

“Home?”  Her eyes remained fixed on the horizon.  “This is my home now.  Raum is a generous master when he is well pleased, you would do well to give him what he wants.”

Ugh, was that what the impromptu social gathering was about?  “Sorry, honey, I’m not about to drink the Kool-Aid, so you can save your breath.  I could care less if Raum is well pleased.”

“You should care, your safety depends on it,” she said sadly, and I wondered if she was speaking from personal experience, or concern for my wellbeing.  “Isn’t that right, Nelo?”  I glanced around, but I didn’t see the little demon anywhere.  “You needn’t hide, I won’t tell him you came to pay me a visit.”  There was still no sign of Nelo, but then he stepped out of a shadow that could not have conceivably hidden him from view. 

“Jesus Christ, how long have you been standing there?” I gaped at him, trying to reconcile how he could have fit into the space.  He was small, but not
that
small.