Mercy F*uck (18 page)

It amazed me that these people raised me. The same people who were sweet to Drew’s face then cut her down when she wasn’t around to defend herself. “She’s perfect,” I defend. “She works hard, provides for her family –”

“She’s trash,” my mother snapped. “She isn’t like us!”

“Last time I checked, I wasn’t like you either.”

Setting his paper down, my father decreed, “No, but will you be.”

It’s rare I lost my temper like this.

But when it happened, there was no stopping it.

Rounding on her, I let loose a string of curses before driving my point home.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a fight, Drew. Jesus Christ, what I was trying to say was I want you to love me again! Like you did before you became all jaded and shit. And guess what? When you love someone, you do tune the fucking world out, by the way! There is nothing more beautiful than that! Fuck using the past versus now, we’re still us, dammit! You can be her because you
are
her. The second,” I say pinning her to the brick. “The fucking second you tune into that; you’ll see me for what I really am.”

“And that is?”

“Yours, Drew.”

Closing her eyes, I couldn’t tell if she was shutting down or opening up but I wasn’t done. “You tune shit out all the time, your whole world is work. I’ve watched you tune it all out to get where you needed to be and it’s not a bad thing. I’m just asking you to let me be a part of that.”

“You
are
,” she fires back. “But fuck, cut me some slack, alright? You’re my man, I’m your woman, I’m living with you since the explosion and I cut Darius loose
in front of you
. Now you want declarations of love? That’s what you need?”

“Yes,” I hiss at her. “That’s what I fucking need.”

“It’s been two weeks,” she presses and that’s when it all came out.

“I have never stopped loving you, Drew. Darius and who the fuck else out there still has a shot at stealing you from me. But I know,” I growl in her face. “I fucking
know
that if you loved me that wouldn’t happen. Because if you loved me, they wouldn’t exist for you.”

“You’re afraid of losing me?”

“Lost you once,” I admit quietly. “Can’t lose you again.”

“Axle…”

“I don’t have money, I’m not famous, and as of two weeks ago you lived your life thinking I fucked you over. Married a woman I did not love, bought a business I did not want and I’m scared as fuck that the woman I have loved all these may not ever love me back. Because when she loved me and I was her world, shit made sense. I just want shit to make sense again, Drew. Just once I’d like to get something right.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” she says stroking my arms.

“Yeah.”

“I have to, you know. Losing you the first time altered the course of my life. Losing you a second time would unravel it.”

“Because you love me,” I grin in victory.

“I didn’t say that,” she counters weakly.

“Drew,” I groan tagging her neck and pressing our foreheads together. “You didn’t have to.”

“Are we done fighting?”

“Nice subject change,” I say lifting her up under her ass. “But yeah, we’re done fighting.”

“Make up sex?” she asks raising an eye brow. “Ever have it?”

“No,” I grin again.

“Want to?”

Locking up, setting the alarm, and climbing into the Impala, when she linked her fingers with mine shit finally made sense again. My chest felt lighter, I could breathe easier and I would swear sights and sounds were crisper.

You’ve been living a grey life
…

Thinking on that, I had to agree and until finding her again, I hadn’t realized how lost I’d been.

Checking her phone with her free hand, she gets lost in her world while I drive and get lost in her. “Do you mind if I smoke?” she asks breaking me of my thoughts.

“I don’t mind,” I tell her. “You don’t smoke very much, why bother at all?”

“Honestly?” she asks rolling down the window. “I have no idea.”

Lighting up, I watch her exhale and hold the smoke by the cracked window. “Maybe I do it because it’s for me. Like a small break from things. Granted, I can take it or leave it but sometimes it’s the only thing I look forward to.”

“When’s the last time you took a vacation?”

“I haven’t taken a vacation in years,” she says on a laugh. “Unless you count sick in bed with the flu a vacation.”

“It’s good to get away,” I encourage hoping the two of us could ghost someplace for a while.

“Yeah. I just never had anyone to get away with. My sisters are busy doing their own thing and outside of them, I don’t have a list of girlfriends to call. I’ve thought about just hopping on a plane but then problems come up and I put it off. That’s why I bought the boat.”

“Did you talk to your insurance company again?”

“Insurance, police, detectives… Last I heard there was no evidence, cameras showed nothing and they weren’t rushing to open a case. The fire chief left me a message with his bullshit answer about the fuel line or whatever but insurance is covering it and in the end that’s all I care about.”

Pulling into the drive, we each get out and I come to her side while she finishes her smoke. Glancing up at me she says, “I can’t keep you from your job, Axle.”

“I’m where I want to be, Drew. I’m where I need to be.”

“I’m just saying, I’m not going to disappear if you’re not with me at all times.”

“Foxy’s isn’t going anywhere. I need to hire a few guys anyway so until I do, I’ve got the time to help you.”

“When you need to get back to your life, you say so,” she exhales flicking her butt into the street.

That’s the thing, I wasn’t saying shit. This was the life I wanted, a life with her.

“Make up sex,” I announce grabbing her hand.

“I’m on top!” she squeals pulling me along with her.

Fuck, but I’d follow her wherever she went.

Though I’ve been with my fair share of men, nothing was as erotic and intimate as watching Axle stroke his cock in the shower unaware I was there. With one forearm pressed against the tile while the other fisted his shaft, I sucked it a breath at how beautiful this moment was. I wondered if it was me he was thinking of, considered interrupting him or even lending a hand. Instead, I reached between my own legs with Axle’s soft grunts guiding me.

Noticing me, he raises his head enough to make eye contact and opens the curtains so we can see each other fully.

“Faster,” he ordered me and with a hard exhale I sped up. “You like watching me?”

“Yes,” I confessed breathlessly.

“Naked from the waist down, Drew,” he commanded fully facing me now. “I need to see your pussy.”

Quickly ridding myself of clothing, my fingers find their home once more but his next order made it clear he was a visual person. “One foot up on the toilet, do it now.”

The second I did he growled in appreciation. “Nothing more fucking beautiful,” he praised. “You close, Drew?”

“Yes,” I barely managed because I was almost there.

“Come to me,” he said fisting himself harder, faster. Standing in front of him he looks me over and demanded that I, “Turn around and stay on your toes.”

As instructed I lifted my ass in the air and in one swift thrust he was inside me. “Play with your pussy while I take you.” Whimpering in pleasure, I do as he says and was ready to come when his wet palm met my skin with a deafening crack. Arching up, crying out and letting go, I came incredibly hard with Axle following.

The next two weeks with Axle were easy.

My routine became his routine and while I loved this, I also worried he’d tire of it.

Being with me was a lot of work. Plans made were often cancelled if emergencies arose, my phone rang non-stop and someone always needed my ear.

With the club’s soft opening tonight, my time has been extremely limited to say the least. Any time I had a new venture in the works, it had my total focus. This club was no exception. This club had to have my attention because it would be my biggest investment to date. He’s asked numerous times to see it but I’ve shut him down wanting it to be a surprise. Because while we both loved metal and cheesy power ballads, we also loved Motown. It was Motown that inspired this club, my homage to the greats, the originals. Wanting this club to succeed, absorbed my time and despite my crazy schedule, Axle never complained.

When we’re together he cooks, cleans, and assists me with odd jobs and when I’m at
The Hole
he’s right there with me, bouncing. Axle was an amazing bouncer.

He even managed to get in good with Fudge, which was not an easy thing to do.

Not a day has passed that he hasn’t taken the time to train with Shane either. I worried about Shane, constantly. He wanted to learn so badly, I feared he was becoming obsessed with it. I was also concerned about what he’d do when he realized how strong he’d become. Deep down, I knew one day he’d take on his dad and I was hoping that day never came. I wanted to handle it for him but I was beginning to think that wasn’t going to be the case either. No kid should have to fight his parent. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But his dad hasn’t been around, which meant Shane was safe, I had to be content with that for now. My attention was too divided as it was.

When I was cleared to order a new boat, my plan was to get what I already had. But the second I asked him to help me decide, Axle started doing his man-homework. Let’s just say the replacement was even more kick ass than the original. I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when it was delivered. I bet him a hundred bucks he’d either piss his pants or come in his underwear. He was fine with either and stuffed a bill in my cleavage conceding defeat. 

At random times I would find him doing something completely monotonous and for me, the world just stopped. Two days ago, he was emptying the dryer and I nearly cried watching him fold my clothes. Because he didn’t just roll them up and stuff them in the basket. No, he concentrated on each piece careful of wrinkles. He treated my old clothes as if they were treasures.
Like he treats me
…

Having no formal training with relationships or domesticity should have hindered me, but with Axle’s help and patience, I was getting the hang of it. Because for the first time in my life, I wanted to do things for someone else, for him. I wanted to please him, make him laugh, and wake up on his chest for the rest of my life.

Romantic love quite literally looked good on me.

Now when I pass by a mirror, I see the glow he spoke of.

He noticed it too and loved reminding me that he was responsible for it.

You shine so bright it burns my eyes
, he’d said pulling my hair over my shoulder.
You burn for me, Drew
.

And not modest in the slightest
, I teased him.

I call em’ like I see ‘em
, he said kissing my neck but he was right, I did burn for him.

He’s given me so much, never asking for anything but my love in return and though I wasn’t ready to voice it yet, I did have something in mind to show him I was headed in that direction.

Here’s hoping he loves it
…

With little time for small details, Axle helped me pick out a dress for the opening and a suit for himself.

He was currently in the bedroom putting that suit on while I was stuck on the phone with the city pushing for a permit to allow street parking for the event. While I wasn’t one to give any fucks about hair or makeup, I did a bit more than usual wanting to impress my man. I had a man to impress…I still wasn’t used to it.