Merrick: Harlequins MC (39 page)

CHAPTER
THIRTEEN

They stood out on the back deck, drinking a beer and watching the sunset. Cassie looked over at Damon and smiled. Ever since the night in the woods, he'd been different with her. Kinder. Gentler. And she realized as the days passed, she was falling harder and harder for this man.

But he continued to keep a wall between them. He kept her at an arm's distance. It was as if he was afraid of her. Afraid of letting her in too close. Damon was more guarded with his emotions than anybody she'd ever met before. And though she thought he cared for her, she didn't know if he felt the same way. And it was breaking her heart to think that he might not.

“I never said thank you,” Cassie said.

Damon looked at her. “For what?”

She gave him a warm, genuine smile. “For saving my life. Again. You seem to be making a habit of it.”

“You seem to have a knack for getting into trouble.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I've made some poor decisions in my life.”

“Haven't we all?”

“I guess we have.”

She looked to the sky, which was turning shades of violet and orange as the sun slipped below the far horizon. She thought back to all of the time she'd wasted with Andy. All of the time she'd wasted in her life, period. Decisions she'd made came back to haunt her – her decision to drop out of school to marry Andy, being the biggest one she regretted.

She'd had a plan and a vision for her life. She'd wanted to do things, to be somebody. But then Andy had showed up and, at first, he'd swept her off her feet. He'd made her feel special. Safe. Loved. But it wasn't long before the real Andy began to emerge. The one who wanted to own her. Possess her. Control her every thought, her every move. She was young and naïve, clinging to those rare glimpses of the man who'd first pursued her, made her feel special. She thought that his behavior, his abuse, was somehow her fault and that if she could just stop doing the things that upset him, she'd get that Andy back.

The weeks turned into months, which turned into years and she never got a glimpse of that man again. By then, she'd dropped out of school, her plan and her vision for her life forever damaged. Or at least, changed. When she'd run away, it was simply with the thought of ending her years of torment and pain. It hadn't been with the thought that she could rebuild her life and rebuild her dreams again.

But then Damon showed up and everything in her mind began to change again.

He was gruff and a little rough around the edges, but she knew he was a good man. He didn't have to, but he'd protected her. Had helped her get away from her miserable existence. He'd killed to save her. She knew he cared for her and was devoted to her in ways that maybe he didn't even understand yet. She was just hoping and praying, though, that he wouldn't reject those feelings outright. Hoping he might examine them further, deeper, and come to the conclusion that she had – that he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him.

“So, now that you're free,” Damon said, “what's next for you?”

Cassie shrugged. “I've been thinking lately that maybe I might want to go back to school. I've only got a few semesters left to get my degree and maybe finishing it out might be a good place for me to start.”

Damon nodded. “Sounds like a good plan. What do you want to do?”

Cassie smiled and blushed a little. Her dream had been to be a veterinarian. She loved animals. Loved working with them. And even though it sounds like something a child might say, she wanted to spend her life caring for them. “I've always wanted to be a vet,” she said softly.

“I think you'd be pretty good at it,” Damon said. “Max took to you pretty quick. And he doesn't like most people.”

“You just have to know how to talk to them,” she said, trying to get him to meet her gaze. “You have to know how to get inside those walls they keep up and let them know that you won't hurt them. That you care for them.”

Damon finally turned and looked into her eyes. She could see the conflict in them. She could see the fear. Feeling slightly emboldened, Cassie stepped to the edge and then taking a deep breath, stepped off.

“I'm not going to hurt you, Damon,” she said.

“I know that.”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

He shrugged. “I don't know.”

She reached up and put a hand on his cheek, drawing him down into a kiss. He pulled her close to him, running his hands through her hair as they kissed. She could feel the heat and intensity radiating off of him. His kiss was filled with meaning and she felt the wall that he surrounded himself with begin to weaken as the first cracks began to appear.

“You deserve better than me, Cassie.”

She shook her head. “No, I deserve better than Andy. And you are far better than he ever was. Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for.”

“I'm not so sure about that.”

“Maybe we should find out. Together. I care about you and want to stay, Damon. With you. I want to be with you.”

She looked into his eyes and could see that he was torn between repairing all of the cracks in those high, thick walls of his and letting them crumble to dust completely.

When she looked into his eyes, she felt hope.

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

“Maybe we should find out. Together. I care about you and want to stay, Damon. With you. I want to be with you.”

When she spoke those words, a cold bolt of fear ripped through Damon's body. But at the same time, he felt something warm, something completely unfamiliar, but something that wasn't entirely unpleasant. He cared for Cassie. He was too far down that road to not, at the very least, acknowledge that. But his feelings for her were as complicated as anything he'd ever dealt with in his life.

After leaving the military and finding his way to Carl and the Black Dragons, Damon's life was simpler. Things were more black and white and he'd ruthlessly cut out anything that contained shades of gray. He was devoted to the club. To Carl. To his brothers in arms. They provided him with safety, structure, and a semblance of a family and community that he'd never had before. So he'd clung to it every bit as fiercely as the drowning man clings to the life preserver.

But then he'd found Cassie in that stairwell, terrified and hurt, and she'd triggered something deep within him. Something he hadn't felt since he'd watched his father beat his mother and eventually kill her. He wanted to save her. Protect her. Keep her safe. At all costs. He'd been too young to protect his mother and couldn't do anything to prevent her death. Ever since that night, though, he'd carried around a burden of guilt heavier than any pack he'd carried in the service. And it was a pack he couldn't simply drop when the run was over. It was with him all day, every day, its weight unrelenting and unceasing.

It was that need and driving force, that feeling of powerlessness and impotence that had haunted him for so long that led him to plucking Cassie out of that stairwell and bringing her back to the clubhouse. He knew it was stupid. He knew it would lead to complications the club couldn't afford. But he didn't care. He'd done what he hadn't been able to do years ago – he'd saved her life.

What he hadn't counted on was the feelings that developed as a result. Damon had figured she'd be good for a fuck now and then as long as she was staying with them and that would be it. But as he got to know her better, as he spent some time talking to her and really finding out what made her tick, something within him changed. She was no longer just some piece he'd brought back to bang, she was a person that he was beginning to care about.

And when he'd found her in the woods with Andy choking the life out of her, something inside of him snapped. He'd flashed back to the night he'd witnessed his father shooting his mother. The image ran through his mind like a highlight reel from hell. He kept seeing his mother's face the moment the bullets had torn through her body over and over and over again. He saw the look of triumph on his father's face. And he remembered the hate that had flowed through his body like a flooding river.

He didn't even recall what he'd said to Andy – or if he'd said anything at all – before he pulled the trigger. Damon didn't even know how many times he'd pulled it. All he remembered was coming down, his vision clearing, and seeing Andy dead on the ground with Cassie right beside him. At first, he'd been terrified that he'd hit her, that he'd accidentally killed her. When he saw her stirring, though, he couldn't recall feeling more relief about anything in his life.

After he'd sent her away, he took Andy's body to a deep part of the woods where there was a thick, deep swamp. It was in a remote part of the forest that didn't see much foot traffic. He'd weighted down the body as best as he could and had dumped it there. He hoped either the animals or the elements would get to the body before he was discovered. He'd taken Andy's car to a wrecking yard that a buddy of his owned. He'd disposed of the car, no questions asked – which was how Damon liked it. It was simpler. Cleaner.

And he'd done all of this for Cassie. His friendship with Carl had been strained because of what he'd done. But he hoped the years they had between them counted for something and that they'd be able to get past it. Things were still tense, but the ice between them had started to thaw, so he had hope. But for the first time since he'd joined the Dragons, Carl questioned his commitment to the club. He had done things that jeopardized it. He knew he'd disappointed Carl and that hurt him more than anything.

After that night, the tension about Cassie staying in the clubhouse had dissipated. With the threat gone, there was no need to send her packing. And she'd started to fit in with the club in a way. She cooked every night, serving up home cooked meals to the guys who were staying over, and making herself sort of the unofficial housemother. The guys liked her. She seemed to like them. And Damon started to see a side of her he hadn't seen previously. She was lighter. More free. She didn't grieve Andy's death in the least. If anything, she acted like a tremendous weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. And maybe it had.

Carl was right to be worried about the fallout – hell, Damon was worried about the potential consequences of what he'd done, but he also believed that things were going to be okay. As he looked into Cassie's eyes, he began to think everything was going to be okay.

“You could take classes nearby,” Damon said.

Cassie nodded. “I got online in Breaker's office and looked some things up already.”

“You know this might not be an easy life,” he said. “You know that there are going to be some…rough patches.”

“Rougher than what we've already dealt with?” she raised an eyebrow.

Damon shrugged. “Maybe. I don't know. I just don't want you walking into this with your eyes closed.”

“They're wide open. And I don't want to be anywhere else.”

Damon smiled and kissed her again. He didn't believe in happy endings, but if they did exist, he thought he was the last person who deserved one. But maybe, just maybe things really were going to be okay.

CHAPTER
FIFTEEN

Cassie stood at the stove cooking breakfast for the guys in the clubhouse. She smiled at Damon as he walked in and gave her a small smile and a wink before opening the refrigerator and grabbing a small bottle of orange juice. She focused on the hash browns and bacon that were cooking, making sure to not burn either.

“What's for breakfast?” Damon asked.

“Breakfast burritos,” she said. “Since nobody seems to be a big fan of sitting around and having a meal together, I opted to make something portable.”

“Oh, I'm a big fan of enjoying a meal as a group,” Breaker said as he sauntered into the kitchen. “Especially breakfast. Love breakfast food.”

Damon smiled, kissed Cassie on the back of the neck and gave her butt a small squeeze before taking a seat at the table with Breaker. Though the kid didn't stay here very often, he was always here early on in the day. He got started on his tasks and responsibilities long before most of the club rolled out of bed and shook off the hangover most of them were nursing. He was a good kid and he was one Damon liked a lot.

Cassie sat a plate down in front of each of them that held a heaping breakfast burrito that was bursting with things like egg, bacon, sausage, and salsa. Damon leaned over the plate, inhaling deeply and could tell there was a lot more to it than that. If it tasted anywhere as good as it smelled, he was going to be a happy man.

“Babe, this smells amazing,” he said.

Cassie blushed at his use of the word “babe.” They hadn't been together for very long – and she wasn't even sure if what they had constituted being “together” in the relationship sense of the word, but she liked the direction things were going. Ever since the night he'd saved her from Andy, Damon had changed – in a way. He was still gruff and sometimes quick to anger – though never with her – but he had also been gentler and more attentive to her. It seemed to her that the walls he normally kept around himself had come down where she was concerned. And rather than fight it, he'd kept them down.

Breaker nodded. “Yeah, it really does. Thank you for breakfast, Cassie.”

She turned and looked at the younger man. Though a rough and tumble biker – sort of – Breaker was always pretty well neat and clean. He wasn't the grease monkey sort. His specialty was in computers and, though a full patch member of the Dragons, he served the club in a different way. He wasn't one of the guys out there stomping ass – though Cassie had no doubts Breaker could take care of himself if it came to it – but he was busy protecting them using his brain and his computers.

The two men laughed and made small talk as Cassie continued making breakfast. She knew there were a couple of others who'd stayed in the club overnight – Carl, the president of the Dragons among them – and that there would likely be a few more who straggled in and were hungry.

Cooking for the club, sort of playing den mother to them, gave Cassie something to do. It helped take her mind off of the terrible situation she was in. Of course, things with Damon were great. And they were headed in a good direction, but outside of that, she was just coming out of an abusive relationship, she hadn't finished school, had no job or marketable skills, no prospects, and no idea what she was going to do with her life. She'd talked with Damon about going back to school, about chasing her dream of being a veterinarian one day. Strangely enough, it had been bonding with Breaker's dog – a white pit bull named Danny – who'd rekindled her passion for it. Damon had encouraged her to do just that – but the thought of actually doing it scared her. It had been so long since she'd been in school and Cassie didn't like the idea that she'd be the oldest one in class. It was a lot to think about. A lot to consider.

Damon walked over and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Thanks for the burrito,” he said. “Gotta split. Things to do.”

“See you later, then,” she replied.

“Believe it.”

She smiled as she watched him walk out of the kitchen and into the garage. His bike roared to life and he pulled out of the club's compound. The sound of his bike faded into distance as Carl strolled into the kitchen. “Something smells damn good,” he said as he took a seat at the table.

“Good morning,” Cassie said as she set a plate heaped with food in front of him.

Cassie gave Carl a deconstructed burrito – everything on the plate with the tortillas on the side. She had learned that he wasn't an eat-and-go type of guy. Carl liked to sit and eat and actual meal. And ever since she'd arrived and had taken up the den mother role, Carl and Breaker liked to sit and talk about sports, politics, or any number of mundane things. But they also liked to discuss club business over breakfast. For Cassie, it was a fascinating, if sometimes scary, inside look at the way the Dragons operated.

Breaker cleared his throat. “There's something you need to know, Carl.”

Carl chewed thoughtfully. “What is it?”

Breaker cut a quick look at Cassie and cleared his throat again. “I've been doing a little poking around since the night that – the night Cassie came to stay with us.”

Carl looked at her and she saw a look of concern flash through his eyes. But as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone again. One of Breaker's jobs was to monitor the local cops. And being as talented as he was with computers – Damon had once described him as a Hall of Fame level hacker – Breaker had access to anything and everything he wanted. If he wanted information, there was nothing stopping him from getting it.

“Go on,” Carl said and took another bite of food from his plate.

Breaker looked distinctly uncomfortable sitting there. He kept shifting his eyes over to Cassie and clearing his throat nervously. Whatever he wanted to say, he was afraid to say it in front of her.

“It's okay, kid,” Carl said. “She should be here for this.”

Cassie looked at Carl, not understanding what he meant or why he thought she should hear what Breaker had to say. While they did discuss some club business in front of her, they also made sure to discuss the more private, sensitive matters after asking her to leave or going into their meeting room and closing the door behind them. That Breaker was so nervous and Carl wanted her to stay made Cassie more than a little apprehensive about it.

“Okay – well – I've been reading some memos from inside the department,” Breaker said. “From McReed specifically. There are questions being asked about Andy's disappearance.”

Carl took another bite, looked away, and chewed slowly, as if processing the information and developing his strategy. Carl was a very deliberate, very thoughtful man who rarely reacted out of anger or emotion. He looked at something from all sides and formed his opinion before acting on anything. Cassie thought it was one of his greatest strengths as the club's leader.

But to hear Damon talk, it was also one of the biggest reasons some of the more hot-tempered members of the Dragons wanted to force him out. Some of these guys were hot heads who wanted to do nothing more than go off halfcocked and kick some ass. They didn't like that Carl kept them on a leash. They seemed to forget that Carl – though sixty years old – could still kick some ass. But he wanted to be smart about it. Which, to Cassie, is exactly what a good leader should do.

“What are they saying?” Carl asked.

“McReed is practically begging his superiors to open a missing person's case,” Breaker replied. “Says he'd been in regular contact with Andy about Cassie and is concerned that he's suddenly fallen off the map.”

“And what are his bosses saying?”

“They're reluctant,” he replied. “But they say if he can come up with some evidence, they'll look into it.”

“How does this tie into the club?”

Breaker cleared his throat again and gave Cassie a quick glance before returning his attention to Carl. “Because Andy had been talking to McReed about her. Andy was trying to convince McReed we kidnapped her.”

Carl looked at Cassie for a moment and sighed. He pushed his plate of food away and leaned back in his chair. “I guess we need to expect McReed to be stopping by at some point soon then,” Carl said.

“I think we'd be smart to prepare for that, yeah.”

“Thanks, kid.” Carl stood up and looked at Cassie again. “Come on, get some air with me.”

She looked at Breaker, the nervousness in her face plain as day. He gave her an apologetic look as if trying to tell her he was sorry. She gave him a smile and a small shake of her head, trying to reassure him, to make sure he knew she didn't blame him. Cassie turned and followed Carl out to the back deck. She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself tight, knowing that the goosebumps on her arm weren't there because of the temperature alone.

There was still a chill in the morning air as she walked outside and she shivered. Carl leaned against the railing and fished a cigarette out of his vest pocket. He lit it, took a deep drag, and exhaled a thick plume of smoke. “Cold?” he asked.

Cassie shook her head. “I'm fine.”

“Looks like we've got a bit of a problem,” he said.

“I'm sorry.”

He took another drag and looked at her. “What are you sorry for, Cassie?”

“I – I'm sorry that it seems like my being here is causing problems for you and the club.”

Carl blew a plume of smoke into the air and nodded. “It's created a few wrinkles, that's for sure.”

“If you need me to split, just tell me. It's okay. You've done a lot for me already.”

He pierced her with his eyes, his gaze intense. “I need you to tell me something and I need you to be truthful about it. Got it?”

Cassie nodded and felt the knots in her stomach tighten painfully. “Got it.”

“Where is Andy?”

Cassie shook her head. “I don't know where he is, Carl. I swear it.”

“Uh huh,” he said. “And the night he followed you out of here and into the woods. What happened?”

Tears welled in Cassie's eyes and she looked down at the deck. “He – he tried to kill me, Carl. He found me walking along that stream. He wrapped his hands around my neck and started to strangle me. If Damon hadn't showed up when he did, I'd be dead right now.”

Carl sighed and nodded, his eyes fixed on something in the distance. “And Damon? What did Damon do to Andy? I don't imagine Andy stopped strangling you just because Damon asked real nice.”

The tears, fat and warm, rolled down her cheeks. “Damon shot him. Killed him.”

“Yeah, I thought somethin' like that went down.”

“It's not his fault, Carl,” Cassie said. “He was protecting me.”

“When he should have been protecting the club,” Carl snapped.

Cassie jumped at the harsh, icy tone in Carl's voice. She kept her eyes pinned to floor, unable to meet his furious glare.

“But now it looks like that burden is shifting to you, Cassie,” Carl said. “And I need to know – what are you going to do to protect this club when the shit starts raining down on us? Because believe me, it is going to start raining down soon.”

Cassie finally looked him in the eye and scrubbed the tears from her face. “I'll do whatever I have to do,” she said, her tone firm. “You had my back and I'll have yours. I swear it.”

Carl crushed the cigarette out beneath his boot. “I hope so, Cassie. I hope so.”