Merrily Mated (Ouachita Mountain Shifters 3) (3 page)

Ryan stared into the thick tangle of almost bare tree branches. Maybe she’d taken to the woods to let her cougar run.

At the thought of her cat, he felt all the blood in his body rush south. His growing erection pounded behind his zipper. Layna’s cougar was the most beautiful animal he’d ever seen. Golden fur, dark on the tips. Powerful, lithe body that pranced when it wasn’t in a hurry. But her eyes… those enchanting eyes with their long, dark lashes that looked so much like her human ones. Those eyes turned him on better than any naked body he’d seen to date.

Ryan squeezed his eyes closed. He couldn’t think like this now. Not when he had to find the strength to tell her goodbye.

If he could ever find her.

It wasn’t lost on him that he’d be able to sniff her out, hunt her, if he was a shifter.

Damn the irony.

Taking the trail to the back side of the lodge, he scanned the woods as he went, looking for any flash of gold that could be his cougar. But there was still no sign of her.

In the lobby, he waited. That way he wouldn’t miss her when she returned.

An hour passed and the sun finished setting over the lake. Ryan watched the orange glow meld into the water as if it was a burning ember being slowly snuffed out. He’d miss this too. Sunsets over the Ouachitas were breathtaking.

When it was dark outside, and there was still no sign of Layna, he knew it was time to go. The thought of leaving without one last look at her, made his breath hitch, but she’d heard the news by now. If she was staying away, it was because she wanted to.

Ryan stood and fingered the handle of his suitcase, stalling another minute.

Gash, the clan’s security guy, strolled into the lobby, a folder open in one hand, and a frown firmly in place as he stared at the contents. He slapped it shut when he spotted Ryan.

“Thought you were already gone, man.”

Gash was a newer member of the Ouachita clan, and a bit rough around the edges, but Ryan liked him okay. He had a feeling the cat had secrets, but he’d come to the right place if he was hoping nobody would pry. As long as he did his job and treated the others with respect, no one here would go digging.

“I’m on my way out. I was just waiting…” There was no good way to finish that so he didn’t.

Gash nodded slowly. Maybe he caught what Ryan was throwing down, maybe he didn’t. But the great thing about Gash was he kept other people’s secrets too.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll see ya around then.”

“See ya.”

Ryan watched him disappear down the employee wing until jingle bells sounded from the front entrance. They were there every year like clockwork, the giant ones that were the size of a child’s fist and made enough noise to wake zombies. The lobby was the first place to get decorated and the door was the first to get bells. It was the first chance to give guests a dose of Christmas spirit, Magic would say.

Slowly, Ryan turned to find his cat standing in the entryway and his chest locked up, refusing to give him air. She stood still as a statue, her dark eyes flashing brighter green with the nearness of her animal. Her hair was mussed, and a tiny twig stuck out from behind her ear.

She’d definitely been in the woods.

In leggings and an oversized sweater, she gave him one of those warm and fuzzy visions he’d never admit to having. Men like him were supposed to chase tail, not imagine snuggling with a warm female. But he could picture them sitting by a fire, drinking hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps, her curled in his lap while they shared their dreams for the coming year.

Damn it, maybe this was an age thing. Maybe mid-thirties was when male goals turned from fucking to settling down. Whatever the case, he needed to find the thing that would satisfy that urge or he’d go crazy.

“Thought you’d be gone already.” Her voice whipped through him, snapping all his nerves to attention. Like his body was programmed to focus on her anytime she was speaking. He was tuned to her frequency.

“I wouldn’t leave without seeing you.”

“Right.” Her eyes bore into him. “You didn’t even tell me. I found out you were going from your sister.”

He nodded, never taking his gaze from her. Her sharp jaw was clenched tight and her shoulders rigid. She was mad.

If she was angry he was leaving… did that mean she cared?

The tiniest bud of hope unfurled in his chest, and he opened his mouth to ask her. What could it hurt now, if he asked one last time?

But before he could get the words out, she crossed her arms over her chest and said, “You’re putting us all in a bind, you realize that, right? Christmas is coming and there’s a lot of work to do. And you… you’re just leaving. Renner will have to work overtime instead of spending time with Beth and Rhys.”

Ryan let her words batter his chest as they flew. Of course this was why she was angry. Because he was making things harder for the clan. Making a little extra work for everybody. It had nothing to do with the fact that he’d be gone from her life.

He swallowed the words he’d prepared. There was no use for them. None of them. Not the goodbye he’d rehearsed. Not the new ones he’d just found to ask her one last time if she’d have him.

The idea of what he’d almost done left him feeling pathetic, but staring at her in the doorway, he couldn’t care. This was it. This was the last time he’d see her until he’d stuffed his feelings into a box and locked it tight.

His gaze caught on the giant piece of mistletoe that hung over the door. They picked it natural, from the forest where it grew in the tops of the trees, so it was always huge, taking up a large portion of the doorway. An enormous red bow hung in the center of the plant that urged people to kiss their way through the holidays.

Layna followed his gaze upward and then her eyes darted back to him. Her jaw went slack and he didn’t recognize the expression on her face. There was no hint of the bossy, smartmouth he’d fallen for. There was no indignation, no blame, no anger. She was just there, looking lost and confused.

Ryan shifted on his feet, fists clenching with what he was considering.

There was only one way to end this. Only one way to get everything out and start fresh. It was the final period on this chapter, and tomorrow he’d begin a new one.

In two steps, he’d stalked forward, taking her face between both of his rough hands. He didn’t look into her eyes. He didn’t check to see if this was okay. He just pressed his aching lips to her soft ones, urging them open for his tongue. Licking at her mouth, she opened and he wanted to fucking cry, because this was goodbye. Certain and final, and he’d make it count.

He kissed her with an urgency he’d never felt before, exploring every angle of her hot mouth and committing it to memory. The way the skin of her cheeks felt against his thumbs, velvety soft. Her taste, dark and comforting. Like cinnamon. He sucked and lapped, four years of pent up emotion pouring from his body into hers, and when he pulled back they were both gasping for breath.

Ryan released her, his arms aching to pull her back, to get closer, to have more. To make it last. But in another moment, she’d say something and ruin his perfect farewell.

“I… I know you didn’t want that. Me, like that. But I didn’t know how to say goodbye to you. This has to do, because I’m having trouble finding the right words.” He brushed his hand through his hair, careful not to look at her face. He couldn’t stand for the last vision of her to be horror at what he’d just done. “Goodbye, Layna.”

He grabbed his suitcase in one hand and pushed through the door with the other, racing to his truck like hell was on his heels. He tossed the case in the bed, got in, and started the thing up in almost a single fluid move. As he backed out and started down the winding road that led to the interstate, he didn’t look back at the place—and woman—that held his heart.

Chapter Three

He’d tasted like that first bite of chocolate after a hard day’s work.

Layna straightened the ledger on the front desk. Adjusted the phone more firmly in the cradle, and waited for it to ring with a customer needing help.

His hands had felt like sandpaper on her skin even though they were gentle. Better than any time she’d imagined him touching her before. And dear god, had she imagined it.

Layna watched Renner toss out friendly commands as workers went full force at decorating the lobby. Watching them made her sad for the approaching holiday.

Ryan, his scent… it was fresh spring, the way the woods smelled when the green was trying to sprout through the remaining ice of winter. Last night it was tinged with something harsh. Pain. Or sadness. Or both.

It was already eight o’clock and the damn phone hadn’t rang once. Layna glared at it.

His kiss. Ryan’s kiss… like he owned her. It made her weak in the knees, and she didn’t even mind the debility. Like he was claiming her.

But he wasn’t, was he. Because he’d marched right out that door like it wasn’t even hard for him to go.

Layna eyed the mistletoe above the entrance and tried to steady her shaking hands by stuffing them in the pockets of her sweater. She’d always considered it the horny plant, because really that was what it was there for, right? To give people permission to get physical. And why the hell was parasitic foliage a symbol of holiday cheer anyway? It made no sense.

Like last night.

God, she’d almost begged him to stay. She’d been on her way to guilt-tripping him when he up and decided to kiss her. It was an asshole move on her part, she could admit it, but if he didn’t care enough about her to stay, she figured he would care about leaving his family in a lurch. And she’d just needed him to stay so badly.

Layna drew in a trembling breath.

“What’s your problem?” Renner asked, strolling over to lean against the counter.

“Nothing. What’s yours?” She pulled her eyes away from the spot where Ryan had kissed her speechless and straightened the contents of her area once again.

“You were glaring at the decorations? Don’t you like them? Magic wanted to go with something a little more… red this year. He said there was enough green with all the trees and holly.”

Yeah, there was a lot of red. It kind of looked like a candy cane threw up. But the decorations were fine. Christmas was coming, and she wasn’t the type to play Scrooge.

“It’s not that,” she grumbled, wishing the phone would ring. A reservation. An order for the kitchen. She’d even take a goddamn request for extra towels. Anything to keep her mind busy.

Renner frowned. “I miss him too,” he said low. “And Bethy was crying again this morning.” He shook his head. “It’s like this when one of us separates from the clan. You know that.”

Layna’s gaze jerked to her brother. She wanted to deny that Ryan had any influence on her mood, but she couldn’t lie to Ren.

“It’s weird with him not around,” she admitted, looking away.

Renner sighed. “Yeah, it is. But he wasn’t happy here anymore. He was right to go.”

Layna chewed her lip, picking up a pen to doodle on the ledger. Ryan wasn’t happy here according to Renner, but somehow, she’d failed to notice it.

She felt like a shit.

Of course there were problems in the clan. Lots of people weren’t at their full happy potential. She was one of them. But Ryan had a smile for her most days. He was the one who joked. The one who sang obnoxious karaoke and made everyone giggle. He waggled his eyebrows like a cartoon character and played games with Rhys. He was the happiest one of them all, except for maybe those who were mated.

But then the way he looked last night… torn and defeated. Grief-stricken like her. Maybe happy Ryan was a lie.

Her cougar snarled inside, unsatisfied with that thought. She needed her mate happy. Required it. And if leaving did that for him…

Layna shook her head.

She
could’ve made him happy. She would have tried. If only she’d stopped him. Put herself out there like he had so many times. Maybe things would be different right now. Maybe he would have stayed.

Her cat chuffed, frustrated. Her animal would never let her mate with a weak male, and Ryan walking away made him weak.

Still, Layna would have tried if she hadn’t been stunned speechless by his kiss.

The cougar hissed.

Damn it, the back and forth with her mind and her cat was driving her insane. Remembering his goodbye made her see red, and not in a holly jolly way. She needed to run the woods again, let her animal work through shit.

But there was her job to do. Who’d see to their guests and make sure things ran smoothly if she took off to run with her cat.

The phone rang, and she almost fell to her knees in thanks. Renner gave her a salute and walked off as she held the receiver to her ear.

“Lake Haven Lodge, this is Layna speaking.” She gave whoever was on the other end her most pleasant voice. Time to buckle up her emotions and get stuff done.

“Hey there, Layna.” The man’s voice was deep and unrecognizable as he drawled. She imagined him propped against the grimy wall of a sleazy bar, one arm above his head as he hunched over the phone. “Sexy name by the way. Laaayna. Mm, mm, mmm.”

He paused, and she assumed she was supposed to giggle coyly at his compliment. Instead, she ground her molars to keep from snapping at him.

Potential customer. Don’t munch the potential customer’s head off.

“How can I help you, sir?” Somehow her voice came out relatively calm.

The man laughed, slow and smooth. His attempt at sounding sexy? It only made him sound like a snake.

“Aw, now. Let me count the ways. I bet a woman like you—”

“Would you like to make a reservation, sir? Or are you looking for the kitchen? I’d love to patch you through if you’re going to order.”

The phone was quiet for several seconds. “Actually, Layna…” He drew her name out on a low rumble. “I’m looking for someone. A… friend. He might be staying there at your lodge. Goes by the name of Gash.”

Layna let out the breath she was holding. She’d been about to launch into the we-don’t-share-our-guest’s-information bit, but this guy was a friend of Gash’s. And go figure.

Gash was new to the loyal way of life the Ouachita cats promoted. He’d made personal adjustments in order to join the clan and had adapted pretty well so far. But it didn’t surprise Layna that he had a smarmy friend or two.

“Gash? Yeah, you want me to send you to his office?” She’d love to pass this asshole off.

“Office? He works there?”

“Yep. Here, let me patch you through. It’ll only take a sec—”

“
No
. No, no don’t you worry about that, Layna. I can talk to Gash when he’s not so busy.”

“This is his slow time. It should be fine. But I can tell him you called if you’d like.”

“No. That won’t be necessary.” His tone was firm, the put-on sexiness gone. “I’ll reach out to him soon. Thanks for your help, Layna.”

The line clicked dead as he hung up without a goodbye.

She set the phone back in the cradle and then picked it up again, deciding to tell Gash about his friend. But the light blinked, telling her another call was coming through. It was the family in 412 needing towels. No sooner had she hung up on them, before the light blinked again. Mrs. Hebler wanting to schedule a massage with Mason.

Layna grinned as she jotted down her info. Allllll the ladies wanted Mason over Bethany. Lucky for Mrs. Hebler, he wasn’t booked up yet.

Phone still in hand, another call came through. A reservation for Christmas Eve. The honeymoon suite. Layna had a moment of
awwwww
while her heart squeezed tighter. She loved serving newlyweds. Until now, it was sort of a those who can’t wed serve the wedded thing. It’d be different this time, knowing it was something she could have but not with the one she wanted.

She wondered where Ryan was now. If he’d gotten to Memphis okay. Whether he’d eaten enough. Did he have a place to sleep. Hopefully he didn’t try to rough it in his truck until he went on the road with his buddy. Men did stupid shit like that sometimes.

The phone rang again. This was exactly what she’d hoped for. Enough work to keep her sane.

She sighed, clicking on the receiver. “Lake Haven Lodge, Layna speaking. How may I help you?”

***

Ryan pulled into the Walmart parking lot on the south side of Memphis, finding a spot at the back and pulling his truck home. He had a little more than an hour to kill before he had to meet Trent and he intended on getting some shut eye. The driving had exhausted him enough he figured he could fall asleep without thinking about his cougar. About how her lips yielded to his. How she felt under his fingertips. The way she gasped for air when it was over.

Shit. He’d gone over and over that kiss the entire drive east. There was nothing left to examine.

He pulled the hood up on his sweatshirt, yanked the sun visor down on the windshield, and tried to settle in. He’d spent three hours driving in this seat so it was easier said than done…

In his pocket, a phone buzzed, waking him. Ryan glanced at the clock to find he’d dozed for a half hour.

He dug for his cell, but came out with the wrong one. His old one. In his other pocket, he found the new one Beth had given him and saw her picture flashing on the screen.

He sat up straighter, rubbing his eyes awake, and slid his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

“Beth? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Did I… did I wake you? You sound drowsy.”

Ryan gave his head a shake, hoping to clear it, and looked out the window at the still dark sky.

“Ah… no, I was just resting before I meet Trent. Why are you up so early?”

She yawned, trying to talk through it. “Little Cat couldn’t sleep. He wanted to talk to you. But if you aren’t up to it, we understand. I’ll explain to him that you had to drive all night.”

Rhys. The three-year-old cub didn’t quite understand when Ryan told him he’d be gone for a while. They were buddies. There were tickle wars and hide-n-seek daily.

He’d miss the little guy.

Pain bloomed behind his sternum.

Becoming an uncle was one of the highlights of Ryan’s life. A defining moment he had never been able to set aside. It made him realize how necessary it was for him to have kids of his own. He needed to be a father as much as he needed to breathe.

He might be human, but he was ruled by his own set of instincts.

“No, it’s fine. Put him on.”

“You sure?” Her voice sounded wobbly.

“Yeahhh,” Ryan murmured, pushing his head back into the back of the seat and grinning. “Let me at him.”

Heavy breathing filtered through the speaker and then a careful, “Helwo.”

“Hey there, bud. What are you doing up before dark? Don’t you know your mama needs her sleep?”

“I knows, Unca Ry. But I couldnut stay asweep.”

“You couldn’t, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Why’s that?”

“Cuz I knows you arenut here anymore, an I miss you. So mommy said I could cawl.”

Ryan squeezed his eyes closed at his nephew’s sad little voice.

“Well, your mommy’s right, bud. You can always call. Anytime you want. Now, I need you to be a good helper for mommy today, you hear?”

“Uh huh,” Rhys said, his voice sounding brighter. “Cuz she’s gotta young growin’ inner?”

“Yeah. But also because she’ll give you extra candy if you do. Tell her Uncle Ry said so.”

Happy baby giggles blasted through the phone, and the pain in Ryan’s chest throbbed harder even though he smiled wide. Damn, he’d miss seeing those belly laughs in person.

“Alright, now. Give the phone back to your mama so she can yell at me.”

More giggles and then, “Lub you, Unca Ry.”

Ryan bit his lip, giving himself a moment to steady his voice. “Love you too, Little Cat.”

“Buhbye.”

“Bye.”

A second later, Beth’s voice came through. “That was low, Ryan Robertson. Low, I tell you.”

“What?” he scoffed. “You know you have all that leftover Halloween candy to get rid of. Besides, he needs something to keep his mind off the change. He’s tough. He’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, I know.” Her words came out on a sigh.

“How are you? Feeling ill at all yet?” With Rhys, Beth was a wreck with morning sickness. Or rather, twenty-four hour sickness.

“No, not yet. I’m good. Just need more sleep than normal.” Her voice went soft and he could imagine her rubbing her belly. “I better let you go. Rhys is trying to climb the counter to get the candy bucket. See what you’ve done?”

Ryan chuckled. “Later, sis.”

“Be careful, you hear?” she said, sternly.

“Always.”

He clicked out of the call and noticed the first rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon in his rearview mirror. He should probably go find coffee. It didn’t look like he was going to get anymore sleep before it was time to start the day.