Merry's Christmas: A Love Story (16 page)

♥    ♥    ♥

As all
well-enjoyed parties must, the evening wound to a close. Merry watched through
the service window as Catherine stood with Joan by the door, bidding each of
their guests a fond good night. Meanwhile, the kids helped Kiki and Arthur to put
the diner tables and chairs back into order on the service floor.

Merry turned to the kitchen sink. She
began to wash a stack of trays, making peace with her lot. Having plenty to do
always helped Merry, especially when things were hard. She did her best to
concentrate on the task at hand, and to forget that her dream of a job was
quickly coming to a close. Arthur had been right. What had gone up would soon
have to come down, including her already plummeting hopes. She wondered how she
would survive it, but trusted that somehow she would.

Daniel pushed through the swinging door
with a large bag of trash. “There you are,” he said. “Don’t you want to say
goodbye to everyone?”

Merry brushed an escaped tendril from her
forehead. Staying in the background had been challenging all evening. Going out
to enjoy the thanks of their guests seemed harmless enough, but the fact that
Merry wrestled with whether or not it would draw attention from their hostess
convinced her to opt otherwise.

“That’s okay,” she replied warmly. “It’s
Catherine’s place. She arranged everything, you know. She’s even bringing
Christmas dinner over to you tomorrow.”

Daniel studied Merry thoughtfully.
“Funny. I wouldn’t have guessed she had it in her.”

“Never know what’s inside a person, I suppose,”
Merry answered.

Daniel shook his head, his growing
affection for Merry showing. “I don’t know about you, Merry. You just seem to
be able to bring out the best in everyone, don’t you?”

“What’s there is there,” Merry said.
“Just got to polish it up, so you can see it.”

Daniel took it in, seeming to perceive
more than Merry felt able to express. A moment of quiet understanding passed
between them. Nothing was said, but then again, it seemed best to her that
nothing would be.

Catherine leaned in the door. “The sleigh
is here, Daniel. Merry, can we drop you?”

Merry turned to Catherine pleasantly.
“Thanks, but no. I’ll get the El.”

Daniel lingered after Catherine headed
out to the door. “You’ll join us for church in the morning, won’t you?”

Merry’s eyes misted. It was all she could
do to bridle her rising emotions. “I’m so glad you’re all going, Daniel. And,
believe me, I’d love to. But no. I just can’t.”

Snow continued to fall as Merry walked
home from the station alone. It was late, but Mr. Grabinski was outside,
shoveling the walk. A train rumbled by overhead.

Life was returning to normal.

“Merry Christmas, Mr. Grabinski.”

The old super scowled as usual. “Not so
much, if this keeps up.”

Merry entered her darkened studio
apartment and flipped on the light. Rudy stretched from his nap, happy to see
her.

Merry picked Rudy up and scratched his
neck. “Come here. You didn’t think I’d make you spend Christmas Eve all by your
lonesome, did you? Gotcha something.”

Merry sat with Rudy and pulled out a
catnip mouse. “You like it, boy?” She playfully moved it near his nose, and
then teasingly drew it back. “What’s this, Rudy? What’s this?”

Rudy sniffed the catnip curiously. He
pawed at it, and then carried it in his mouth to his pillow.

Merry took her coat off. She hung her elf
hat on a hook. There, on the kitchen counter, was the little wind-up kangaroo
that she’d bought for Daniel. Sadly, she put it back into its shopping bag.
There was no way that she could give it to him now. It would make him think of
her, she reasoned, and she knew that just wouldn’t be right.

Merry wandered over to her little
Christmas tree with the burned out lights and not a single solitary present
underneath. Tears brimming, she tried to encourage herself. She looked out at
the falling snow, quietly devastated.

twelve

M
erry
awakened to the light of the rising sun, sparkling on new-fallen snow. Though
Rudy continued to slumber contentedly beside her, she crawled out of bed and
padded to the window. Frost edged the panes in intricate patterns. The
brightest of white blankets outside was enough to make even Merry’s
neighborhood look pretty.

Soon, Mr. Grabinski will be out front,
shoveling the walk again
,
she thought.
Like always
. Across town, the Bells would be stirring from
their beds. Before long, they’d be at their church, singing
Joy to the World
.
They’d come home and open their presents. They’d sit down to eat Christmas
dinner, like people who have families do together. They would make new
memories. They’d start afresh, just as Daniel had wanted.

Merry inhaled deeply, contemplating her
surroundings. This was her world. The Day of Days had arrived in all its
shining glory, and for the first time in her life, something inside Merry was
wistful about the fact that it had come.

It wasn’t just that her Christmas
Coordinator job was ending, Merry realized. It was much more than that. It was
that tiny wrapped jewelry box she knew waited for Catherine, nestled in the
boughs of the Bell’s family tree. It was those Four Words, that question Daniel
would ask Catherine when she opened it, the question Merry had begun to hope
she would hear from him in time herself.

So this is it
, Merry thought.

This is what it’s like to be in love.

Never in her life had Merry known that
feeling. She’d thought about what it might be like. She’d dared to dream that
it could happen to her someday. But never in all Merry’s wildest imaginings had
it been like this: that she would be so in love with a man like Daniel, yet so
utterly alone.

♥    ♥    ♥

Across town,
Hayden yawned as Tara led her up the attic stairs to the landing. Ollie climbed
up behind them, still in his pajamas. Hayden couldn’t imagine what they were so
anxious to show her or what could possibly be worth dragging herself out of bed
for so early.

Hayden looked at the entrance to the
attic quizzically. It was covered floor to ceiling with green foil wrapping
paper. A broad red ribbon with an enormous bow stretched over a tag with
Hayden’s name. Hayden stared at it in shock. “This is my Christmas present?”

Ollie tugged at his sister’s robe
excitedly. “You gotta rip the paper off.”

Hayden looked at Tara, who nodded her
approval. With that, Hayden tore through the paper and into her new room. She
scanned it, open-mouthed for the longest time. “Really?” Hayden could feel it
as Tara watched her face for a response.

“You like it?” Tara asked.

Hayden stepped into the freshly
redecorated space. In addition to a twin bed topped with fluffy pillows, there
was a nice computer station. A comfortable seating area was set up beside the
dormer window. “That’s mom’s rocker,” Hayden observed.

Tara followed. “Yeah, kind of old-school.
But I thought you could sit there, you know. Think about her. If you want.”

Hayden turned to Tara, stunned. “You did
this. For me.”

Ollie stepped between them. “I was her
elf. It’s from me, too.”

Touched beyond expression, Hayden hugged
Tara tightly, grateful tears brimming. She made sure that she squeezed Tara
longer and harder than she had since they were little girls, dressed exactly the
same.

Ollie threw his arms around his sisters.
He looked up at Tara jubilantly. “I think she likes it,” he grinned.

Hayden knew that her new room was only
the beginning of surprises in store for her family. She hung back, watching as
the others opened their gifts. Her dad loved the new plates her Gramma had
turned for him at her shop. And, in return, Gramma had seemed very pleased with
the sweater-coat he’d asked Merry to choose for her.

It was fun to watch as Ollie tore into a
mysteriously long package she had helped Merry to wrap for him. Though Ollie
was clueless as to what it could be, Hayden couldn’t wait to see his goofy
little face when he realized what it was.

Peering into the box, Ollie’s eyes
bugged. He pulled out a fishing rod and reel, ecstatic. “We’re going fishing?”

“Got that right,” Daniel nodded.

Ollie jumped up and down, repeatedly.
“We’re going fishing!” he shouted, pumping the pole into the air with glee.

Hayden stood with Tara and Ollie,
watching with anticipation as their dad opened his gift from them, a shiny red
caboose to complete his train set. And just when the day seemed it couldn’t get
any better, Tara enthralled Ollie with gallon jar of wriggling worms to go with
the tackle box Hayden had picked out for him.

As each gift was opened, Hayden glanced
under the tree, near the back, at the package she’d wrapped for Tara. There
were so few left. In a way, she was tempted to take the present back, run
upstairs, and order a gift certificate for Tara instead. But how could she do something
so impersonal after what Tara had given to her? Merry’s words kept ringing in
her ears, that the gifts that were the hardest to give were the best ones. That
must mean her gift to Tara was great, she thought, because giving it was taking
every ounce of strength that she had.

Hayden stalled, waiting till almost all
of the packages had been opened. The only one left besides her gift to Tara was
the little one her dad had nestled in the boughs, tagged for Catherine. Hayden
hadn’t asked what it contained. She didn’t have to. She was pretty sure she
knew exactly what it was and it was the last thing she wanted to think about.
It wasn’t that Catherine was so terrible. She was beginning to grow on her in a
weird kind of way. It was just that the little box seemed like the only flat
note in what was turning out to be a pretty decent Christmas, a better one than
Hayden had expected it to be.

Finally, it happened. Ollie poked around
the back of the tree. “Who’s that one for?” he asked.
 

The moment of truth had come. Hayden
reached under the tree and retrieved the package. As unceremoniously as she
could, she handed it to Tara. “Okay, so it’s not as Cucamonga-sized as your
present to me, but...here you go.”

Everything in Hayden squirmed as Tara
tore off the wrapping, opened the box, and folded back the tissue paper. Inside
was the sonnet Hayden had labored so long over, then matted and framed under
glass.

Tara gazed at it, quite noticeably
overwhelmed. “
To Tara
?” she read, as if she could hardly believe it.
“You wrote your love sonnet about me?”

Hayden curled her lips into a crooked
little smile. “I had to write it about somebody.”

Her Gramma sat down beside Tara. “Read
it, Honey,” she prompted.

Tara handed the frame back to her sister.
“No, you read it, Hayden. Please?”

Hayden hesitated at first, then took a
breath and began to read aloud:

“To
Tara”

I wish I were the wonder that you are.

Perhaps
you do not know how much I long,

To stand
and shine alongside your bright star,

To find
the vibrant hope that makes you strong.

Your face in my mirror, when e’er I glance,

Your
voice, her heart, within resounds,

Leading
by birthright, despite circumstance.

Resolved
to conquer so much that confounds.

You are not yet so very much like her,

As I
would hope and pray to someday be

But
through the gift you are her mem’ry stirs,

Resurrecting
life, through you, to me.