Metanoia (24 page)

“
Not as
much as I love you!” the man replied, scooping her up in his arms
and holding her close.
Then the man,
cottage, and toys all vanished.

“
What did he look like?”
Leyance was asking Gina. They sat by their beloved pond, feet in
the cool water.

“
I told you, his face was
blurry. I don’t know who it was,” she responded.

“
Well, it was only a dream.
It doesn’t mean it actually happened.”

“
No, it did. It was a
dream, I know, but something about that dream made me remember. It
made me remember that event.” She stared into the crystal water to
the sandy bottom. “I think it was my dad.”

“
But why would you remember
him all the sudden?” Leyance inquired softly. Gina
shrugged.

“
I don’t really know, but I
think it had to do with talking to Fheyrhil yesterday. When he told
me he had a daughter, I started thinking about my own family. I
started thinking about my dad before he died, just trying to
remember his face, but it’s like the dream. His face is blurry.
Still, I think that dream was a memory. I specifically remember
being called ‘little queen’. Maybe he knew I’d be next in line
after him.”

“
It doesn’t work that way.
You know that. You were elected, not seated after him. Anyone could
call you that, though,” Leyance pointed out. “Your name means
‘queen’ as it is.”

“
True, but still.” She knew
it was a poor excuse to assume it was her father, but a sudden deep
yearning to know him and her mother swept through her. She
groaned.

Leyance chuckled. “What?”

“
I just wish I could
remember. I don’t know what happened to my mom even. I can’t
believe I never had a yearning to find her until now. When I was in
the other world, I always wanted to know them, but I see now that I
had already lost them in this world in my first life. As much as I
love you, Leyance, and as much as you are my family, you weren’t
the original ones. You can’t fill the gap left by them.”

“
And I don’t want to. I’d
rather not be compared to your dad. There is just something a
little disturbing about that…” Leyance laughed. Gina shot him a
glance but then started to giggle as well.

“
Oh shut up,” she said
smiling and gave him a playful punch.

“
Anyway, if it means so
much to you,” he stated, “why don’t you try to find out about them?
I still don’t advise going to Fheyrhil, though knowing him he
probably already knows your intentions.”

“
Yeah, he probably
does.”

“
But maybe you could talk
to the girls or someone to find out. You know I’ll help in anyway I
can.”

“
Really?”

“
Of course,” he stated.
Slowly, he leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss.

Only twenty minutes later, Gina and Leyance
sat in Calypso’s cottage. The subject of Gina’s parents had already
been brought up and now Gina’s friend sat, trying hard to recall
what information she knew.

“
Your dad’s name was John,
and your mother was Jasmine. I remember because J+J was always
carved into trees around the city. You can still find some.” She
paused, trying to remember more. “Your father was a Nythagién
warrior and good friends with Fheyrhil. Maybe you should talk to
him?”

“
We don’t want to bring up
bad memories since it was he who was with John when he died,”
Leyance explained.

“
Oh, right. Good idea.
Well, he was in battle with him, like you said, and only Fheyrhil
was with him when he died. He stayed locked up in his room for days
after that I’ve been told. He had been through so much at that
time.”

“
Why, what happened then
besides my dad…?” Gina inquired.

“
Well, I’m pretty sure his
daughter died around then.” Gina shot Leyance a look.

“
Oh, ‘no one knows’ do
they?” she asked sarcastically.

“
I said not many know.
Calypso just happens to be one of the few who do,” he
replied.

“
Yeah, he’s right. Not many
know.”

“
How did you know about my
parents and everything?” Gina asked her friend.

“
I was told by my parents
awhile ago.”

“
How are your parents?”
Leyance asked.

“
They’re good. They’re
still living in the other world though. They find that place more
enjoyable apparently. Of course having a big house over there
doesn’t bring them back any faster.”

“
Yeah, I loved your house!”
Gina exclaimed remembering her old life.

“
Who did your parents hear
it from?” Leyance questioned, ignoring the trip down memory
lane.

“
Don’t know,” Calypso
shrugged. “I never asked.”

“
Someone must know more
than this though,” Gina pointed out.

“
Doubt it. I’ve never heard
anyone speak of it minus my parents and now you.”

Gina paused as realization
came to her.
Though I see good events to
come, I also see the bad.
“Oh my God, he
knew about my father. Fheyrhil did. He knew what would happen to
him! He knew he couldn’t stop it. No wonder he broke down after
that.”

“
I feel so bad for him.
That must have been so hard,” Calypso imputed.

“
I’m sure he wished that
his powers weren’t working then,” Leyance stated.

“
True, but you can’t switch
those kinds of powers on and off,” Gina pointed out.

“
Well, he does. There are
some times when he can’t sense anything and sometimes when he can.
I mean, when you were all ‘bad guy’ he couldn’t sense anything at
all.”

“
He couldn’t?” Gina
questioned.

“
No.”

“
Oh, and when Gina died the
first time he couldn’t sense anything until we found out she had
been reborn,” Calypso added.

“
Right.”

“
Wait a
second,” Gina stated.
Is there a
connection?
she thought. “Both those times
I was technically ‘dead.’” This information stunned the other two
who fell silent. Slowly, Calypso began to nod.

“
You’re right,” she began.
“Maybe there is some sort of link between you two.”

“
But why would there be?”
Leyance asked. “I mean, sure, he loves you, but so do I and I don’t
have powers when you are ‘alive.’” But Gina wasn’t
listening.

“
My dad died around the
same time as his daughter right?” Gina asked. They nodded. “And he
was the one to announce what happened to my dad right?” Again the
nods came. Suddenly, the image of the stranger who’d been so kind
in giving her that pink lace necklace came to her mind. “Then it
must be…”

Gina found Fheyrhil in his
council room, but this time the so familiar silhouette was not by
the window. He was scurrying around the room. He seemed quite busy
and yet not busy at all. It seemed as though he feigned his
business.

“
Hello, Gina,” he greeted
her. “Nice day outside, is it not?”

“
Yes,” she said quietly,
starring at him. “Yes it is… Fheyrhil?” He looked down and
acknowledged the paperwork he held.

“
These
are the reports about how Noquef is doing. He is still safely in
custody I am pleased to announce,” he said in one breath without so
much as glancing at her.
He knows I
know
, Gina thought. “Our team was very
successful in quickly capturing him. He came quietly which was a
great relief to us. He has not caused us any trouble at all. It
seems that since his return, he has wanted a leader to follow
rather than being one himself. Without his evil counterpart, he
felt lost and confused it seems…”

“
Why didn’t you tell me,
Dad?” Gina stated. She stared straight at him, not daring to look
away and lose her confidence. Fheyrhil stopped and slowly put his
papers down. Slowly, his grayish-hazel eyes glanced up at hers. She
continued. “You are who I think you are, aren’t you? Now that I
look at the facts, it fits. You were there when my dad supposedly
died. You were the only one with him. But that never happened
because you made it up didn’t you? You gained your psychic
abilities when I was born, and you lost them when I ‘died.’ You are
my father, Fheyrhil.” She was breathing heavily. A lump in her
throat grew larger and larger as she fought to keep the tears back.
An awkward silence filled the room, but finally even Fheyrhil
couldn’t keep the silence.

“
I did it to protect
you.”

“
So you admit it? You are
my father?” Gina questioned. The tears of confusion, hurt, and joy
were beginning to flow.

“
Yes, Gina, I am your
father. Yes, I kept that information hidden, but I never meant to
hurt you.”

“
That’s a smart plan. Don’t
tell the orphan that she really has a family? No, that doesn’t hurt
at all. Being lied to for your whole life doesn’t hurt!” The tears
now streamed down her face and blurred her vision as she starred
angrily at Fheyrhil who still remained calm and composed though his
eyes did not meet hers.

“
I did it to protect
you.”

“
And how in the world does
not knowing who my father is protect me?” she
questioned.

“
Because, my little queen,”
he began, the sound of her old nickname made Gina jump, “you
possess a great gift that, if fallen into the wrong hands, could
turn out to be very bad indeed.”

“
But I was in your hands,
not anybody else’s. What are you talking about? What great gift do
I possess?”

“
You know. What can you do
that no one else can?” He now studied her face as she searched for
the answer. It soon came.

“
I can kill,” Gina
whispered. Her heart sunk.

“
Yes, but that is only part
of this gift.”

“
I can
kill
easily
!”
Gina corrected. “What kind of gift is that?! That’s a
curse!”

“
That is
in the eye of the beholder,” Fheyrhil stated.
How could he be so blind about this?
Gina thought.
I killed! There is
nothing good about that!
Yet, as usual,
Fheyrhil seemed to read her very thoughts. “More importantly than
your ability to kill is your ability to cure. No one else on this
earth can bring people back from the dead. Only
you.”

“
Through
killing.”

“
Gina, you experience the
ultimate forms of love and hate. Through your hate you can kill and
through your love you can cure. These two go hand in hand. You
cannot show your love by curing without showing your hate and
killing first. To have one without the other is to disturb the
natural equilibrium of the Earth. That is your gift, or curse,
however you choose to take it. If you would have got in the hands
of the enemy, it would most certainly have been a
curse.”

“
Did I really have a test
when I was young to see if I would obtain this gift?” Gina asked,
thinking back to her conversation with Leyance and
Calypso.

“
Yes, you did. Unlike the
lie I told, however, you passed and were deemed worthy to carry
this gift. You lived.”

“
Then how come you lied and
said I died?”

“
Because the Vice knew you
were to take the test. I knew from the very beginning that he
planned to kidnap you, to use you at his bidding. I also knew that
the only way I could thoroughly protect you was to separate myself
from you. If I announced, however small the announcement was, that
my daughter had died, then you would be safe. The Vice would
believe you failed the test and never come after you. Then, you
could slowly adopt a new identity that the Vice did not know. I
made sure when you were born that no one knew your name, especially
him.”

“
What about my mother?”
Gina asked. “Where is she?” Fheyrhil smiled at this
mention.

“
Jasmine was a lovely
woman. That was for sure. I always loved her and still do. She knew
that we had to protect you. Luckily, our relationship had been a
secret along with your birth. When I learned the Vice’s plans, I
shared them with Jasmine. She suggested that I separate myself from
you. She would take you and raise you. We agreed to meet in a small
cabin in the woods so I could visit. But as you grew older, I had
to stop coming. I could not risk having you grow up knowing me as
your father when the Vice monitored my every move.”

“
I remember the cabin. I
dreamed about it,” Gina stated.

“
Yes, I stopped coming too
late. You were old enough to remember my visits. The Vice was
already suspicious that you lived, so I had to watch my actions
very carefully.”

Gina took in this information, but something
still did not fit.

“
Why did Mom leave then?”
Fheyrhil’s head hung, and he chuckled painfully to
himself.

“
This does not get any
easier. Your mother loved you very much and always wanted to stay
with you. But, as you know, when you were conceived, I began to
develop senses. The Vice also could sense as I could, though his
powers never equaled half of mine. Yet, he still got some vital
information. He knew that you would not be the only one of my
blood-line.” Gina’s head, which had faced the clutter on the desk,
now jerked up to look at him.