Mia Found (Starting Fires Book 3) (18 page)

Only one piece of clothing stood in our way.

Determined to have him, pent up and greedy, I rolled him over and straddled his waist. His thin boxers left little to the imagination and I slowly grinded against him. He held me close, raising his hips to meet me. The aggressive tug he had on my panties was sure to snap them, but he never followed through, unwilling to rid me of them. When I moved to take them off myself, he threw his hands up.

“
Wait!” he said, out of breath. “Wait. Not yet, okay.”

This made no sense. He was always right there with me, but would pull back at the last second. “Why not? And don’t say that it’s because it will complicate things. What’s the real reason?”

“
I just don’t understand why we can’t wait a little longer.” His hands rubbing up and down my waist were meant to be soothing.

I didn’t say anything. There was something else besides this desire to wait. His honest eyes couldn’t hide it. He was afraid of something. Growing uncomfortable under my stare, Paul continued.

“
Baby, I
do
want you. It’s not that. It’s just…” He sighed, looking away from me. “What if I move, Mia? What if I leave?”

I sucked in a breath. “Are you?”

“
Nothing is decided.” He leaned into me and put his forehead against mine. “I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not like Fontenot. I can’t take that from you and then disappear.”

“
Does that mean if you move, that we’ll…Are you thinking about breaking up with me?” My eyes watered at the thought.

“
No! Not in the slightest. But so much is about to happen. For both of us. What if you have to move to find a job? What if I move to Florida? Would you come with me? Would I be able to come with you? I can’t stand the thought of leaving you. But I’m…I’m scared, Mia. Because I don’t have any answers, and I don’t want to be like him. You deserve so much better.”

“
You aren’t like him,” I whispered. “You could never be like him. And I want you. I don’t care what
might
happen.”

“
I do,” he said. “I can’t hurt you.”

“
Then don’t.”

He released a pained breath. “This is new for me. I’ve never felt this…deeply for someone. It’s important to me that I do it right. Give me just a little longer. Please.”

I didn’t know how to feel. He was being sweet, thinking of my future heartache and possible pain, but he was also being ridiculous. No one ever knew what
might
happen. It felt like he was hanging our relationship on a few decisions. What was he really afraid of? Hurting me? Or being hurt?

“
Do you want to be with me?”

“
Of course, Pretty. I want to be with you.”

“
Then don’t put a stipulation on us. Don’t act like we could fall apart any second because of something that may or may not happen. If you have to move, we’ll talk about it and we’ll deal with it.”

His answer was a gentle nod and then his mouth was on mine. It was a deep, powerful kiss. With no thought from me, my body moved on its own. A gripping hand on his shoulder. A tight leg around his waist. My fingers trailed down his stomach and found him hard and strong. I gave his dick a gentle squeeze.

Paul gasped, but didn’t stop me. Maybe he was afraid that I’d do exactly what Marjorie had. I’d take from him and then disappear. Just as Fontenot had done to me. My wounds had healed. I’d had years to bandage the cuts and let them scab over. His were still fresh—a constant reminder any time he thought of his brother.

He needed more time. More time to trust in this new, honest love.

I could give him that, but he needed to bend a little too.

“
Wait,” he said when I pulled his boxers down. The long, thick length of him sprung upward and I wrapped my hand around him. Paul moaned, a shaky breath replacing the words he might have said. “Mia…”

“
Is this okay?” I asked. “Just this?”

He nodded and lay back on the bed. I followed him, straddling one of his legs. My hands pumped up and down, but I still wanted more. Even though I’d never done this, I wanted to try and brought my mouth down to him.

His hips flinched when he felt my lips close around the tip. “Mmmm,” he said on a deep moan. I took in more of him, loving the power this made me feel. He pumped into my mouth, his fist clinching. I watched the tension in his abs as we moved faster and faster.

My hair fell around my face and Paul leaned up to take it in a gentle fist. He held it back and watched me pleasure him. Our eyes connecting.

I wondered how lewd this must look. My mouth stretching as I took him in. My eyes slightly watering. The look on his face was locked in pure ecstasy and I released him from my mouth, unable to hold in my rumble of pleasure. Using just my hand, I kissed and licked him where I could.

My lips hovered over his tip again, and the anticipation made him crazy. He pumped wildly, trying to reach my mouth. I gave in and let him have what he wanted, sucking him again.

“
Mia,” he said, his head falling back. “
Good God
.”

I saw it—the tension in his arms, the flexing of his muscles. His face contorted and he warned me, but I kept going, needing to finish this.

He filled my mouth, and I swallowed it back, watching his face come undone. When he finished, he was breathless, his chest rising and falling quickly. I put my hand to his stomach and gave him an affectionate rub. Even if we didn’t have sex, this was something and I liked that he was the first man I’d ever given this too.

“
Was it okay?” I asked. “I’ve never done that before.”

“
I’m the first?” he said, out of breath.

“
Yes.”

He growled, and if I had to guess, knowing that made him feel proud. In a swift movement, he pushed me onto my back and yanked my panties down my legs. Before I even had time to process what was happening, his mouth was on me, his lips and tongue giving me pleasure like I’d never felt before.

Tonight was a night of firsts. No man had ever done this for me, and I couldn’t remember if I’d even wanted them to. But Paul’s tongue was making my body feel things I didn’t even know it could. Heat was coursing through me, and I couldn’t even be sure what sounds I made.

Even though I didn’t know what I should be doing, Paul did it for me. He took my legs and draped them over his shoulders as he held me at the hips. His tongue was soft yet firm, sending fire through my limbs. My hands landed in his soft hair and gripped as he licked faster and faster.

When his fingers pushed inside me, I felt myself come undone. They pumped and caressed all the right places. My eyes closed tight. My hips rolled with him.

As my orgasm hit, I locked up, every muscle going taut. Air couldn’t reach my lungs fast enough and my neck stretched back, almost to the point of pain, but I wasn’t in control of my body. Paul was. And he forced it do whatever he wanted with only a flick of his tongue and slight pressure from his fingertips.

I came down slowly and curled into his side when he lay beside me.

“
That was amazing,” I said.

His breath was heavy, his hands gentle. “Mia. That was more than amazing.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I WOKE FIRST, PAUL’S long body lying next to me. For the first time we didn’t have to be anywhere. There was no work. No school. No responsibilities. For today, we could be lazy and lounge in bed as long as we wanted.

With my eyes closed, I leaned into his bare chest and took a deep inhale. His smell was subtle—a hint of his cologne, a tiny drop of masculine sweat. I smiled, knowing I’d recognize it anywhere.

While he slept, I nestled in close, wrapping my arms and legs around him. Feeling me move, he stirred, pulling me into his side. A soft snore fell from his mouth, and I grinned, rubbing a finger along his chest. The hair there was perfect. Not too much. Not too little. Just enough to make him feel rugged and strong.

Having him so close, the memories of last night flooded back and my arousal bloomed. He’d left me not long after I’d fallen asleep, his phone ringing across the room. He’d taken the call in the hallway, and I’d heard the agitation in his voice. But it had ended quickly and he came back to me, lust and desire evident in the presses of his fingertips. He’d pleasured me again. Longer. Harder. My body had turned into a floppy mess when he was through, barely able to lift its own limbs.

I kissed his chest, and rubbed my hand down his belly, toying with the band of his boxers. Paul rolled over. “You’re up early,” he said, kissing my neck.

“
I know. My sleep was good. Wonderful.”

“
Mmm…” A kiss just below my ear. “Mine, too.”

“
Who called you so late?” I asked, rubbing a hand down his back. “You’d think the whole office would burn to the ground without you.”

“
I’m stretched too thin,” he sighed, falling back on the mattress. “Florida wants me to come down sooner than expected. There’s some issue with their books they can’t resolve. And the office here is putting too much on my plate.”

“
You need a vacation,” I said.

His huff was amused, but clear that he agreed with me. “When you come to Florida it should be better. I’m hoping to get a few extra days in, just you and me. We can do whatever we want.”

“
Do you stay in a hotel when you’re there?”

“
Sometimes. They have condos, too. I can request one on the beach when we go.”

The thought alone excited me. “How long do I have to wait?”

“
Four weeks?” he guessed. “If I go down early and finish everything up, we should have plenty of time.”

“
Will you be gone long?” Since we’d been together, he hadn’t needed to go back and I’d miss having him so near.

“
Five days. At least.”

“
I’ll miss you,” I confessed.

“
You too, Pretty.”

For the rest of the day, we cuddled in his bed and watched movies, only leaving it to care for Ferdinand. We were stuck in a bubble, consumed by each other. For hours, we touched and caressed. The curtains were dark, blocking out all sunlight. Our faces glowed in the illumination of the television. Shadows danced around his features as he held my face—sweet murmured words, gentle smiles.

Each of his soft declarations and tender touches bound me to him. I was lost in his eyes, too mesmerized to worry about anything else. His attention held me captive and my addiction grew.

How lucky was I to have found him? I was young, still so much of my life to be determined, but I wanted him right there with me—his hands to soothe me, his eyes to calm me, his voice to bring me encouragement.

We explored each other’s bodies, discovering the secret places we liked to be touched. Our mouths and hands were greedy, unable to quench the insatiable thirst. I found myself trusting him, believing maybe it
was
better to wait. When we finally did have sex, I knew it would be the most incredible feeling I’d ever experience. Because he was doing something no one else ever had. He was taking the time to
know
my body. His hooded eyes would watch me as I came undone. He studied me, recognizing every change in my breath, using it to his advantage.

I’d never known a more attentive man. His pleasure came from seeing mine. All I had to do was graze my fingers along his skin. Chills and shivers would roll through him, his eyes unable to remain open.

I wanted to stay with him again. Just one more night. But he wouldn’t have it.

“
I–I can’t,” he said full of pain and torment.

“
Why?” I asked. It was late in the evening, and I was sitting on the edge of his bed. Paul stood between my legs, and I used my hands to coax him with gentle, soft touches.

“
Because,” he sighed. “I won’t be able to stay away from you.”

It’s sweet,
I thought.
This isn’t a rejection. You said you’d give him time, so do it.

I let it go and Paul took me home.