Mia's Heart (The Paradise Diaries) (19 page)

“I
love it here,” she finally says.  “Even though when we were in Kansas, it
felt like Dante was removed a bit from the pressures of being who he is, which
was good, I think I still love being here more.  I mean, of course I miss
my mom and Becca and my grandparents, but there’s just something about Caberra
that made me fall in love with it.  Honestly, though, I would be happy
wherever Dante is.  I know, that sounds corny. But it is true.”

And
I know that Dante feels the same way.  I can see it in the way his gaze
seems to find her periodically no matter what he’s doing.  He checks on
her and I think it’s sweet.  And once again, jealousy rears its ugly
head.  I really do hope that someday, someone looks at me the way Dante
looks at Reece.

Honestly,
no sooner have I had that thought when a pair of dark, twinkling eyes meet mine
from across a crowd of boys. 

Gavin.

He’s
standing against one of the coolers talking with another boy that I don’t
know.  He’s got on a pair of black shorts and a white shirt, unbuttoned at
the neck and rolled at the sleeves.  He’s barefoot and he’s
gorgeous.  He looks like a swimwear model for a European magazine. 
That’s how gorgeous he is. 

I
smile automatically as his eyes meet mine. 

He
smiles back.

And
my heart flutters like a thousand butterflies.

“Well,
well,” Reece drawls, watching the silent exchange.  “Look who is
forgiven.”

I
roll my eyes at her.  “You said it yourself.  He didn’t mean anything
by it.  He’s a natural flirt.  He doesn’t want Elena.”

I
twist my new watch on my arm.  I can practically feel his name pressing
into my skin. 
It’s always Gavin Time.
  I almost giggle again
just thinking it, but then I realize that it’s fairly true. I’m always in the
mood for Gavin. 

That
has to say something, right?

I
make my way toward him. 

He
meets me in the middle.

“Hi,”
he says softly. “Nice bling.  Was it a gift?” He motions toward my
watch.  I smile.

“Yeah. 
This guy I know gave it to me.”

Gavin
raises an eyebrow.  “Oh, really?  Do I need to do some
ass-kicking?  He seems like a pretty awesome guy.  I don’t want any
competition.”

I
laugh and he laughs and then he links his arm with mine.

“Let’s
walk,” he suggests. 

As
we walk away from the crowd and toward the water, I catch sight of Quinn and
Elena approaching the party.  She is draped over his arm and he looks to
be enjoying it.  Of course, to be fair, he’s a red-blooded guy and her
boobs are pressed into his arm.  Of course he’s going to enjoy it.  I
swallow hard and try not to plot murderous things against Elena and her boobs.

I’m
walking with Gavin,
I remind myself.   

Quinn
and Elena don’t matter to me.

But
as we pass them and Quinn’s eyes meet mine in a smoldering stare, I know that
he does matter.  A lot. 

I
fight the urge to turn around and look at him again.

And
I win.  I don’t look. 

Take
that, self-control.
 

Somehow,
I am able to focus on Gavin and our walk and the beautiful beach.  I put
Quinn out of my mind.  Once or twice, I glance in his direction and find
Elena laughing into his ear.  Once, his arm is even snaked around her
waist and at that, I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away.  It’s the last
time I peek at him.

Gavin
looks at me now, a bit of concern on his handsome face.

“Is
everything alright?” he asks me.  “You seem distracted.”

He
leads me to a huge piece of driftwood and sits me down.  He sits so close
that his thigh presses into mine.  I like the feeling.

“I’m
fine,” I lie.  “It’s weird, knowing that I’ve been to a bunch of these
parties and I don’t remember any of them.  Not a thing.”

Gavin
studies me for a second.  Then he brushes a thumb against my cheek. 
His eyes are soft as he stares into mine. 

“Want
me to help?” he asks quietly.  “I can tell you what you normally do at
these parties.”

I
stare at him for a moment.  I know that whatever is going to come out of
his mouth will be utter bullshit but I can’t stop myself. I nod. 

“Okay. 
What do I usually do?”

Gavin
stares out to sea for a minute, then turns back to me, picking up my
hand. 

“Well,
first you usually eat dinner with me. We grab some fresh crab legs because you
love them.  I have oysters because, well, you know what they say about
oysters and the libido.  Then, you drink about a dozen wine coolers. 
And then, at some point in the evening, you get sick.  And I spend a chunk
of time hunting for someone else to babysit you so that I don’t have to hold
your hair back while you vomit. That’s what usually happens.  So, I would
suggest not drinking too many tonight.”

I
shake my head.  I guess he really is telling the truth. I was a party
girl.  Hmm.

“Good
advice,” I tell him.  “So, you need to eat oysters for your libido? 
Your libido isn’t strong enough without an aphrodisiac?”

Gavin
stares at me for a second, before he bursts out laughing. 

“Touché,”
he tells me.  “Trust me, my libido is healthy and thriving.  Also, I
forgot to mention one thing that you always, always do at these parties.”

And
now I know to disregard whatever comes out of his mouth next because his eyes
are twinkling, his mouth is curving up.  But I still smile and ask what it
is. 

“You
always go skinny-dipping with me,” he says impishly.  “Always.”

It’s
my turn to burst out laughing now. 

“You’re
crazy,” I tell him.  “I call bullshit.  You’re insane.”

He
nods solemnly.  “I know,” he tells me, unconcerned.  “But you love me
anyway.”

And
I do love him. 

I
realize that right now.  I don’t know what way I love him, but I do love
him.  Whether he’s the familiar brother that I never had or ultra-hot
boyfriend material remains to be seen.  But one way or another, I love
him.

It’s
a startling, yet comforting feeling.

Chapter
Seventeen

I
restrain myself and only have two wine coolers.  I can’t imagine drinking
any more than that, because honestly, I don’t enjoy the taste.  But Reece
and Dante both seem proud of me for my restraint, so I decide that I definitely
must’ve been a wild party girl of some sort.  Gavin had been telling the
truth, after all.

Night
falls quickly out here overlooking the water and I watch the sun sink down over
the horizon in an explosion of gorgeous colors that ricochet off the water and
bathe everything in gorgeous light.  Reece wraps her arm around my
shoulders. 

“What
do you think, Mi?” she asks.  It’s an open ended question. 

“About
what?   How the world began?  I think it was divine
design.  About world relations?  I think that Caberra is in a good
place- both economically and politically.  I know the prime minister, so I
feel good about that.”  I’m joking now and Reece rolls her eyes.

“I
meant, what do you think about your life?” she says.

“Oh,”
I answer.  “And I thought you were asking a big question.”

She
laughs now, but she waits for my answer.  Because she’s my friend, she’s
actually interested.  Drat.  I have to give her a thoughtful
answer. 

Um.

“I
don’t know,” I admit to her.  “I honestly don’t.  I think about it
all the time, because I can’t help it.  I’m constantly wondering how the
new me compares to the old me and which one is actually me.  It’s
confusing and exhausting.  Like tonight, it would seem that I used to be a
party girl.  But I honestly don’t feel the need to get wild or crazy. It’s
like I’ve spun around in a 180 from the girl I used to be. And I wonder if it’s
partially because of the head injury.  I mean, will I go back to
normal?  Or was my old “normal” just a façade?  Was I pretending to
be someone that I wasn’t?  I just don’t know and it is frustrating.”

I
pause here and take a breath.

Reece
stares at me.  Her eyes are wide and blue and I can see empathy in them,
even though it’s dark. 

“Don’t
feel sorry for me,” I tell her.  “Seriously.”

“I
don’t,” she answers.  “I just sort of know how you feel.”

I
raise an eyebrow.  “You’ve had amnesia?”

She
laughs.  “No, but I’ve had an identity crisis. When Dante and I first got
together, I felt a little lost. There I was, in love with Caberra’s ‘prince’,
but I was- and still am- a farm girl from Kansas.  I’m not from a big,
fancy family.  I didn’t even know how to act at those black tie functions
that Dante always has to attend.  If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been
totally lost.  But I eventually figured out that no matter what situation
I am in, I am always me.  And that will always include the fact that I am
a Kansas farm girl, born and bred. I will always eat steak sauce on my steak
and wear cowboy boots and I will always feel more comfortable in worn out jeans
than a ball gown.  But that’s okay- because that’s what makes me,
me. 
Your feisty spirit makes you,
you
.  You will always be witty
and slightly rebellious.  No matter how you choose to act, or who you
choose to be, you will always be that sassy person that we all love.”

“I
do feel sassy,” I tell her.  “So that must be an innate trait of mine.”

“Yes,”
she smiles.  “It is.  Now, where did our boys get to?”

Our
boys?

I
turn with her and search out the crowd.  Quinn is sitting next to Elena
and they are deep in conversation.  He doesn’t see me watching and that is
fine.  Dante and Gavin are standing together on the edge of the crowd.
Gavin instantly catches my eye and grins. And I am instantly reminded that his
grin is knee-weakening. 

“He’s
got a gorgeous smile,” I remark offhandedly to Reece.

“Yup,”
she agrees.  “And he knows how to use it.”

“Yup,”
I answer.  Because he so, so does.

Dante
motions to Reece to come join him and Gavin makes his way to me.  He grins
as he approaches, and I feel a little like a lion and its prey. Gavin doesn’t
look away the entire time he is walking. His dark eyes are fixed on me. 

“So,”
he drawls as he stops next to me.  “About that skinny-dipping thing? 
I honestly think you’ll feel more like yourself if you start doing things that
you used to do.  I’m no doctor, but it makes sense.  Don’t you
think?”

I
smile.  “Maybe,” I say playfully and Gavin’s eyes instantly fill with
hope.

“Really?”

I
shrug and decide to throw caution to the wind. 

“Sure.
Why not?  Everyone else is back over that way and it’s just you and me
here. And apparently, we used to do this all the time. So, it’s not like it’s
anything you haven’t seen before.”

I
know as well as he does that we’ve never skinny-dipped.  And he looks a
bit startled now, but then he masks it and returns to his ultra-cocky
self. 

“Great,”
he tells me.  “I’m glad you’re up for it.”

What
he really means is,
Challenge Accepted.
   He’s not going to
back down.

And
neither am I.

I
smile.

“Great,”
I say.  I walk down to the water and start unbuttoning my shorts. 
The moonlight hits the water in ripples and makes it seem black, instead of the
blue that I know it is.  It’s chilly and as I shrug out of my shirt, the
breeze sends goose bumps forming down my arms.  I rub them as I turn to
Gavin.

“Why
are you still dressed?” I ask.  I know the answer is because he was
watching me undress.  But I pretend to not know that.

“Um,
no reason,” he says as he kicks off his shorts and unbuttons his shirt. He
peels it off and then we’re left staring at each other in our underwear. 
He’s very muscular in a tall and slender way.  Probably from swimming so
much.  I’m still wearing my bra and I suddenly feel exhilarated- although
I don’t know if it is from standing in front of Gavin in my panties or whether
it is from all the rippling muscles on his abs. 

It’s
one or the other, though.

“Come
on,” I tell him.  I turn for the sea and strip off my underwear and bra at
the water’s edge, tossing it behind me into the sand.  I dive into the
water headfirst, allowing the cold water to rush over my naked skin.

I
love this feeling.  It’s like I have no restrictions, no inhibitions and
I’m totally free.  I splash to the surface and turn to find Gavin right in
front of me.  His wet arms slide against mine and my breath freezes on my
lips.

His
gaze is dark.