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“Iris, it wasn’t like that.”

“Of all the shits—”

She gave the wall of his chest one surprisingly vigorous shove—

And his world collapsed beneath him.

Three of the sagging floorboards gave way beneath his weight.

Without a moment to curse or cry out in surprise, he felt his body plummet through the floor as Iris leaped back in horror.

With the blind instinct for survival, he instantly spread his arms wide and caught himself as two-thirds of his body dangled
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precariously through the jagged hole and shattered plaster of the guest room below. “Jesus…”

“Russ!” She ran forward, then stopped, teetering on the brink.

“Russ? Are you alright?”

“Am I alright?” he gasped. “What the hell—what d’ya think?!

No, I’m not alright! Give me a hand here. No, wait—not too close!”

“Are you sure you’ve got a firm grip?”

“At the moment, yeah, but…” He gasped, sucking in a big breath. “These other boards could go at any time.”

“Wow, you’re really stuck there, huh?” Iris clasped her heart, staring down at him. “You’re sure you’re alright? I mean, you’re probably not going to fall through, at least for a minute or two? And you can’t just get up and walk off, right?”

She was frightened, not making sense. And normally he had more than enough upper body strength to hoist himself up. The question, however, was how much of the surrounding wood was also rotten. “Now, don’t panic, babe. I’ll think of something. Don’t get upset, I need you calm.”

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She sat down, yoga-style, before him, her eyes as bright as her blooming smile. “Whatever you say, big bro. How’s this? Is this calm enough?”

He stopped struggling for a moment, gaping at her. “Huh?”

“Maybe we should talk about this situation, Russell. Maybe this is something you really subconsciously wanted, to prove you were above the sort of mistakes we average people make, to prove you’re right about everything on God’s green earth. Maybe that’s just a little something you might want to think about.”

“What?” He kicked futilely at the air below. “What the—”

“Or maybe the road down the hill is passable now,” she continued pleasantly. “The ice is starting to melt. Maybe this would be a good time for me to get a little air, step out for a pack of cigarettes.”

Russell peered downward at the photo album that had slipped through the hole, its spine broken, lying far below him on the floor of the dark bedroom. Shit. Guess that meant it was too far to risk the jump. “Iris. This is not a game. Help me!”

“But that’s what I’m trying to do, big brother,” she said innocently. “I’m trying to help you understand—don’t you see? Now.

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As long as we’re relaxing here—why don’t you tell me what it is about me that reminds you of your mother, hmmm? I mean, that’s what we all do, yes? Choose somebody who reminds us of our parents?”

If he fell, there was a chance that he could land badly and break his neck.

So why was he trembling with the overwhelming desire to laugh?

“Iris.” He forced a smile. “Sweet, sweet Iris.” She tilted her head to one side like a curious pet, and he nearly gave up the ghost.

“There are a few boards over there, propped up against the wall.

They’re good, solid boards. Don’t try to pick them up—but if you could just slide one across the floor here, just so it spans this rotten section of wood, just so I can hoist myself up—”

“Oh, I don’t know if I should do that.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Metaphysics and all. It’s a tricky mix of free will and karma, that is.”

“Goddammit, girl—”

“I mean after all, sweet, sweet Russell—I couldn’t possibly make such a decision for myself. I may not be grown up enough yet! Which board would I choose? Suppose I chose one that would deliberately
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hurt you? And if I chose the wrong one and it gave way, and you fell, how would I live with my stubborn little subconscious saying, ‘See? I knew it all along…’”

No use. He was doomed. Even as his arms grew numb, he threw his head back, closed his eyes, and roared with laughter.

He felt the board slide across the hole before he saw it, and grabbed for it, wrapping his forearms around it just as the rotten timber he’d been holding onto broke away and crumbled to the floor below. Focusing all of his strength into his shoulders, he gave an athletic heave, hoisting his body up through the hole until he sat safely upon the thick oak panel that had possibly saved his life.

“I think I’ll start that dinner now.”

Her voice seemed distant to him, muffled by the thunder—or his heart—pounding away in his ears. “Iris. Wait.” He swung to his feet, clearing the man-eating hole and carefully countering her belligerent glare. “I never wanted to come between you and Gary.”

He recognized the defensive posture she assumed immediately. “He was cheating on you. I saw him around town with other women.

More than once. I tried to ignore it. I swear I did. Tried. Just couldn’t. So one day when I ran into him at the gym, I asked him to
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stop. I asked him, very nicely. I told him you didn’t deserve it, and he should either get his shit together or get the hell out. And the very next day, I saw him out on the town again. He was not alone. I waited and, when I got the chance, jacked him—er, I mean, confronted him in the men’s bathroom. I gave him a choice. Three days. Either he could get out of your life with the quickness, or I would break his face. See? Free will!” He felt his half-hearted smile fade to sadness. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t know the dog would die, or that he would give such a sorry-assed reason for checkin’ out. When he told me the excuse he’d given you, I was tempted to…”

“Enough.” She lowered herself onto the ladder and carefully began her descent. “This isn’t about Gary. The hell with Gary. This is about the fact that I don’t know you anymore, Carr. Too many lies, too many secrets. And here I’ve been beating myself up about not being able to make up my mind. Maybe you’re the one with the problem. You can’t seem to decide whether you want to be big brother to some little girl you have to protect, or lover for a grown woman who’s capable of managing her own life and making her own decisions. You took that right out of my hands. And at this point, I wouldn’t take you as a lover if you were the last man on earth.”

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He watched her go before retrieving her candle and carefully making his way after her.

His house was falling down around him.

But the floor could be fixed, and so could this mess.

One more secret to reveal. Just one more, the one that had been driving her crazy from the first.

And then there’d be nothing else to keep them apart.

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CHAPTER 10

“Care to try a little Ouija Board fun?”

Iris focused a suspicious eye on Russ as she dabbed the corners of her mouth with her napkin. She’d grilled the meat carefully, and wrapped the precious two potatoes in foil, baking them over the fire until they were just right, and serving them with butter.

She knew how important each bit of food was to them right now.

She also knew that the meal seemed tasteless and unappealing to her. And she knew why.

But he had lingered over his food, eating very little and picking what was left to pieces, stashing bits of it in his napkin when he’d thought she wasn’t looking.

It made her watch him even more closely.

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“There’s nothing fun about the Ouija on a normal day,” she retorted. “It’s just plain old weird. Like the way you were behaving at dinner.”

He flicked the ashes of his after-dinner cigarette onto his plate, eyes wide with innocence. “Oh? Was I acting weird? Hmmm.

Maybe it’s because the world is ending, Iris. Maybe this is the way people act when they don’t get laid. Maybe an alien’s gonna hatch out of my stomach any minute now and demand sex. I mean, as long as the monster’s up front about what it wants, you won’t mind cooperating, right?”

She tossed her napkin aside. “I don’t see how you have the nerve to get mad at me because you—”

“Because I what?” His eyes locked on to hers and would not let go. “Because I tried to treat you to a wonderful day? Because I’ve put my own feelings on hold because I valued our friendship so much?

Because I’ve dreamed of having you in my bed? Because I went out of my way to try to make the conversion of friend to lover as comfortable as possible for you?”

“So you’re saying you’ve wasted your time being nice to me, since you didn’t get laid!” she replied bitterly. “Don’t you dare use me
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as an excuse for being weird. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you setting those scraps aside in your napkin.”

“Don’t much care for the fattier portions.” He grinned, staring frankly at her chest. “I tend to prefer the leaner cuts of meat.”

If he wasn’t the most infuriating, frustrating, mouth-watering...

“Let’s cut out all the sexual innuendoes. I’m not interested in that, or the Ouija. Unless, of course, it can tell me why I’m stuck here, and what it is I’m supposed to do about it.”

He laughed, and the sound was startling. For the first time she noticed the absence of the thunder that had ruled their world for the past two days. The house was unnervingly quiet.

“Suppose I promise you that it can?”

She skeptically clucked her tongue. But she could not turn away. His eyes held hers with a power and magnetism that made her stomach quiver as his smile made her squirm in her seat. “You’re trying to tell me that your Ouija board knows all, sees all, and you stand behind everything it says?”

“I do.”

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“Then that means you’re going to make it your truth,” she snorted, “and just move the little marker around so it says whatever you please. Fat chance. If I listened to you, I’d be—”

“In my bed before the evening was over?”

She flushed furiously, backing her chair away from the table.

“It’s just a wooden board, and a piece of plastic with a nail, Carr.”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

Within moments he had pulled his old board set from the living room trunk and set it up at the dining room table. Iris watched him wipe the surface with a soft felt cloth, angry with herself for being duped. He knew she couldn’t resist a dare or a challenge. But if it would make the time pass and change the subject, it was worth it.

“Come, little lady.” He sat opposite her, grinning for all he was worth. “Allow the magic of the Ouija to flow over you, to mesmerize you with its power, to—”

“Oh, let’s just play the stupid game, Russ.”

He set the marker on the board, wiggling his eyebrows. “You will note that the marker is reminiscent of the shape of a heart?”

“I think I liked you better when all you had to say was ‘aw, shucks ma’am.’”

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“Then let’s get to it.”

She placed her fingertips lightly on the edge of the marker, carefully watching him as if he’d somehow stacked the deck.

By the light of a single white candle, Russell moved the marker in slow, sensuous circles around the board, then stopped dead center.

“I think she’s all warmed up. Now remember, you have to treat this seriously. You can ask just about anything, but don’t ask anything trivial or silly. Try a question about something important. Like me.”

Iris gave him her prettiest smile. “I want to know what’s in the basement.”

“Iris…”

“You said I could ask anything important,” she persisted. “This is important to me. I want to know I’m not imagining things. I want to know I’m not crazy. I want to know what’s hiding out in that freaking basement, Russ—I mean, Ouija—and I want to know now.”

“Now, now. Being emotional will hinder the vibrations. Oh, Ouija,” he chanted mysteriously. “There is one among us who is seeking knowledge. One who, through all the trials and tribulations of life, through the ups and downs, the familiar and unknown, the inferior sex and chafing chastity…”

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“Will you cut to the chase?!”

Russell solemnly nodded. “Oh, Ouija. Is there something lurking in the basement?”

The wind moaned outside the house, lovingly filling the silence with sound as they waited.

And waited. And waited.

“Russell.” Iris whispered, as if afraid of disturbing the spell.

“This is not happening.”

“Patience. You must be patient.”

“No, I must be out of my mind. The hell with this. Why don’t we just go downstairs and look?”

The marker abruptly responded, moving a fraction of an inch forward, then slightly to the right before zooming in a straight diagonal across the board to land with its nose directly over the printed “YES”.

Iris glared at him from across the board. “And you’re going to tell me that you didn’t push that pointer over there.”

“I didn’t.” He shrugged. “But maybe it’s just as well.”

“Okay, then, if we’re going to play this game, let’s ask what…”

“Ah-ah-ahhh. You asked a question. Now it’s my turn.”

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She nearly held her breath at the sight of the smug expression on his face. Set up and suckered was what she’d been. She could only hope that the damn board was really as phony as she thought.

He moved the marker in a small figure-eight, back and forth between them, like a dance. “Oh, mystifying oracle. Tell me—when will Iris have sex with me?”

BOOK: Microsoft Word - THE LAST MAN ON EARTH - Raine Weaver.doc
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