Midnight Frost (6 page)

“Not at all,” said Logan, his face evidently crimson even in the lamp-light. “They were just tending my wounds.”

“Naked,” I added.

“Well, yes...” Logan looked eminently uncomfortable. “The Northern Wolves like to change form quite a bit – so they try to avoid wearing clothes unless they're in human form and outside. You know – avoiding tearing clothes and all.”

“I see.” My shock and – I admit it – jealousy turned to a smile. Teasing Logan seemed like something I hadn't done in years – it was part of my old, pre-fairy life – and it felt good to jibe him once more about the way he was evidently irresistible to women. “Well, if all wounds were treated like that, I can understand why Feyland has so many wars.”

“Just a second...” Logan transformed into wolf form and bounded deep into the cave, only to return moments later wearing a suit of armor, evidently hastily put on. He came towards, his face for a moment, filled with joy. At last he embraced me, drawing first me and then – to my surprise – Kian – into great bear hugs. “You're alive!”

“The battle – what happened?” I asked quickly.

“Inconclusive,” he said, “casualties on both sides – everyone's still fighting. Winter has put Summer under siege.”

“Any fatalities?”

“Thistle,” he said sadly, speaking of a young soldier we once knew. “Merriman.”

“My father?”

“Alive! As is your mother, Kian,” Logan patted him on the shoulder. “At least they were a few days ago.”

This last remark gave way to silence. Anything, we knew, could have happened in those few days – there was no way of telling what had happened in Feyland since then. Any of our loved ones could be dead.

“Where were you?” Logan asked, hugging me once again, his soft eyes searching my face, as if to make sure that I was real and not some mere trick of his mind. “I scoured the battlefield for you after it was all over, the dead...” he shuddered.

“Kian was wounded,” I said simply. “I had to rescue him – we ended up...”

“Far far away,” Kian cut in. He evidently wasn't too keen to share the secrets of his rescue with his rival. “Magical business.”

“Have you all settled in?” Josephine reappeared. “You must stay the night, my Queen,” she said. “I will prepare a feast in your honor.” She looked at Kian, giving him a long and luxurious once-over that couldn't help but raise my hackles. “I don't know who you are,” she said, shrugging. “But you can stay too. As a guest of the Summer Queen and her fiancee, the Wolf Prince.”

Her comment stopped us short. Of course Josephine would not have known the true story – about what really happened between me and Logan during our engagement, about the spell that made me fall in love and passion with him, and about our private rupture when it became clear that I was in love, not with Logan, but with the subject of a magic potion Wort had administered. Yet to hear her speak of what might have been was difficult for all three of us to hear. At the time, it drove Kian mad, having felt that I betrayed him, betrayed our promise to each other.

“Any friend of the Wolf Prince is a friend of ours,” continued Josephine. “But do not stay too long – the battlefield needs you.”

“Perhaps just for one night,” said Kian, not troubling to disavow Josephine of her notions. “We could use the rest, I think.”

“Very well,” said Josephine. “I will command the cook to make a feast!” She transformed into a wolf – a creature as elegant as graceful in lupine form as she was on two legs – and vanished into the recesses of the cave.

“So...Josephine,” I said, trying to keep the teasing atmosphere alive amid the pall she had put over us. “I assume she walks around naked, too.”

Logan gave me a forced laugh. “You get used to it after a while,” he said. “Northern wolves like to stay in wolf form quite a bit – I've only been in human form for a few hours out of every day.”

“And they're loyal to us?” I couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated by Josephine.

“Northern wolves possess magic – just like fairies. They're always loyal to fairies – more than other clans, I mean. They have a long-standing history of affiliations with fairies. Although the magic's mostly died out, of course.” Logan looked slightly embarrassed.

“Why?”

“Wolf attraction tends to be towards humans,” he muttered. “Not other magical beings. So they tend to mate across the Crystal River, you know...”

“And the bloodlines thin out,” I added – too quickly for comfort. Logan looked quickly away, and even Kian looked embarrassed.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Logan. I knew how terrible the situation seemed from his perspective – one minute, he was about to marry the girl he loved, the next minute he discovered the whole moment when he and I were passionately in love had been a lie. And Josephine's remark was but a painful reminder of it all.

“Come on,” I said, more cheerily than I felt. “Let's get ready for dinner?”

Yet as Kian, Logan, and I made our way towards the bathing-pool by the mouth of the cave, I couldn't help but wonder – would things ever be fully all right among us?

Chapter 6

J
osephine and the wolves prepared a great feast in our honor. Slabs of meat were roasted above a crackling fire; music echoed throughout the chambers of the cave, reverberating off the stalagmites. Kian and Logan sat on either side of me, and although I tried to ignore it, I knew that Logan's gaze was fixed upon me – on my skin, on the way my hair moved, on the curve of my shoulders. I couldn't look up – couldn't look back at him. What if he saw in my eyes the memories of the time we had spent together, the nights we had shared? Spell or no spell, the memories of our engagement were still strong within us both. I flushed, hoping Kian did not notice my crimson cheeks or the brightness in my eyes. If only I could just forget what it felt like to have Logan's hand upon my skin, to have his cheek – rough with stubble – so close to mine. I knew that we could never meet again in that way. I knew that that part of my life was over. I had no regrets – as I saw Kian shake his ebony-colored hair, gaze at me with his iridescent blue eyes, I knew I wanted nothing else than to spend my life in his arms. But it would never make the decision I had made any easier. I had hurt someone I cared about. Logan and I had been best friends ever since childhood. Then it became more.

He remembered that night – that first night we spent together – as the most beautiful of his life, the night that the woman of his dreams at last succumbed to her love for him. He remembered its beauty, its pleasure. Yet my memories were more scattered, filled with guilt and anger. When I first came to Logan's bed, I didn't know what I was doing – I was possessed by a spell. The pleasure I felt, the joy and the love – all of that was because of a spell, proof that my body could turn traitor against me, trick me into doing the bidding of some pixie potion. I couldn't be angry at Logan for that – he didn't know, it wasn't his fault. And yet, when I thought of our romance, my love was mixed with pain. I knew, and I knew too that my mind would never be certain of anything again. How could I trust myself with Kian, knowing that at any moment my feelings could be the result of a spell?

I could feel Logan's eyes upon me – feel his desire for me burn into my skin. I could only turn my head away or my eyes would betray my feelings for Logan. I could not think of it, not with Kian besides me, alive and mine.

That night Logan, Kian, and I met to discuss our plan. The two of them seemed far more conciliatory than they had been in the past – Kian's awkwardness somewhat ameliorated by the quantities of fairy wine we had drunk. It was me, this time – I was the one who felt uncomfortable.

“We need a plan!” Logan was sighing. “If the Pixies call upon the Dark Hordes – and if they start to bring the Dead along with them...”

“My mother would never have agreed to this,” Kian sighed, “never have signed a deal with the Pixies – not unless she was truly desperate. If she was in her right mind...” For I knew that his mother's choice to ally herself with the pixies weighed heavily upon him.

“Never!” Kian continued. “Never in the history of Feyland has the power of the dead been harnessed. Of all the Dark Hordes...this is the most dangerous one. And if Delano dares – it will not merely be destruction for the fairies. The pixies too will be at risk. What kind of madman risks bringing that kind of power out of its Kingdom?”

“Maybe that's what they want,” I said. “The pixies. They hate the fairies so much – they hate our power so much – they're willing to do whatever it takes to wipe us out. Even if it means wiping themselves out with it.” I remembered Delano's rage as he spoke of Feyland – of the oppression the fairies had wrought upon him. He called the land “Skirnismal” - the name of our country in the pixie language – he believed that the land belonged to the Pixies.

Every time I did what was right, I discovered more problems, more uncertainties. I could not hate Redleaf, I could not make her into a villain, no matter how much I wanted to, as long as I knew that my father had a hand in making her what she was. And as vile as I found Delano, I could not hate him, either. As far as he was concerned, he was oppressed and sent into exile by a race of fairies that had destroyed his peace, destroyed his people's land.

“It's not easy being Queen,” I gave a sad laugh. “It would be hard enough just doing what I think is right – but the problem is...I never
know
what is right. Delano's hatred of us – the pixie hatred of fairies – it's not baseless. And maybe if I could just
talk
to him, just get him to agree to some kind of treaty...”

“Talk to Delano?” Kian scoffed. “It's too dangerous.”

“Just because you think he'll kidnap me again? Make me his wife?” I sighed. How could I even think of love – when the choice of whom I married could make such a difference to so many lives. “Maybe I should,” I said darkly. “At least then he'd be willing to make an alliance. He could call off the Hordes altogether”

“Don't talk like that!” Kian said.

“Listen,” said Logan. “It hasn't come to that yet. The wolves of Feyland – all of them except Balthazar's clan – have come out in favor of the Summer Kingdom, against the Pixies – right now, the war's tide has turned. It's not just Summer against Winter any longer. It's bigger than that. And the wolves know that it's time to get involved.”

“And you think they'll be loyal to Summer?” Kian said. “As opposed to their own interests? If the Dark Hordes are about, surely allying with them would be the smarter move. What makes you think they'll be loyal?”

“They're
my
wolves,” Logan cut in angrily. “They do what I tell them. I'm the Wolf Price...”

“And the presumptive Summer King,” Kian added with a frown. “As long as the Wolves think that your marriage with the Queen of Summer will get them higher rank and power – should Summer survive. Then they think their sacrifice, their risks, are worthwhile...”

“Is that why you didn't tell them?” I cut in, turning to Logan. “About...us, I mean.”

“It wasn't wise,” Logan looked at the ground. “I meant no harm, Kian – but as long as the Wolves thought I was engaged to Breena, they were far more willing to fight.”

“We have to tell them the truth,” I said, seeing Kian's crestfallen face. “We can't lie to them!”

“No,” Kian said, his expression firm. “No, it's too big a risk. And it isn't a lie, is it, Breena? After all, no formal rupture was made of the engagement. Whatever you and Logan...and I....have decided personally among ourselves, no statement has been made. Officially, you and Logan are still engaged.”

Logan turned to me, and my heart sank as I saw the joy come unbidden in his eyes. He was remembering my first “yes” - the day I told him I would marry him, that it would make me the happiest woman in the world to do so. I did not want to remember it – I
would not
remember it. But I could see the reflection in his eyes of that room, that bed, and my thoughts turned back to those days, soaked in pixie potion, yet still so full of love.