Military Romance Collection: Contemporary Soldier Alpha Male Romance (24 page)

6

              “I’ll tell you what,” Charlie said. He’d had two whiskeys and was started on his third. The whole crew was gathered around a bon fire. Not only were the flames good for celebrating, they did an admirable job at keeping any curious coyotes from wandering too close. “It’s damn good to have you back here in civilization, baby brother.” He patted David heartily on the back.

              Matthew noticed Saba’s lips tightening at the corner. She said nothing, but bent her head as she fussed over Hafez.

              “It’s good to see you,” David replied. He’d not had as much to drink as his older brother, but he’d had his fair share. “You’ll have to let me know when we get to the civilized part.”

              Freddie and David looked at each other. Sean stood up and said, “Time to throw another log on this fire. Who wants to help me?”

              Charlie leapt to his feet. He wasn’t exactly steady, but he was enthusiastic, following the ranch hand across the yard to where the scrap wood pile was.

              “You all right, man?” Matthew asked David.

              “What happened to him?” David asked, nodding toward Charlie. “He’s different.”

              “Different how?” Matthew asked.

              “Bossy.On edge.” David shook his head. “He’s like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Anything’s going to set him off.”

              “It is the baby coming,” Saba said. David looked at her, and she shrugged. “My husband was the same way both times. Knowing a child will arrive soon makes the father tense inside. Like a spring pushed back.” She shifted her legs, settling baby Hafez more comfortably in her lap. Then she made a fanning motion with her hands. “Any thing can make them go like this. After the baby comes, they are fine.”

              Freddie nodded. “He’s been that way for about two months.” He glanced at Ada, who was slowly making her way back to the bonfire after one of many trips to the bathroom.  “I think things are getting real for him in a hurry.”

              “Running the ranch, starting a family,” Matthew said, in way of explanation. “It’s a lot. I’m not sure he’s handling it perfectly, but he’s handling it as best he can.”

              “Stress sucks, man.” David drained the last of his whiskey. “Stress sucks bad.”

              Thy watched as Sean and Charlie awkwardly tossed a thick log onto the bon fire. It sent a curling cloud of sparks up into the vast Texas night sky, each one an orange dot that climbed higher and higher into the thin air before winking out.

              “Pretty,” Matthew said.

              “Pretty,” David agreed. He refilled his whiskey and looked over at his brother. “You’re not drinking?”

              “Can’t,” Matthew said. “The minute I have one, I know my probation officer will just happen to stop by to see what I’m doing.”

              “Man, you worry about your PO too much,” Freddie said. “All the times I’ve been on probation, you know how many times my officer came all the way out to check on me?” He held up his hand with his fingers and thumb curled together to make a circle. “That would be zero.”

              “What’s that, the number of girlfriends you’ve got?” Sean said, settling onto a bench beside his friend.

              “Ha, very funny!” Freddie said. “I was just telling Matthew he should enjoy a drink.”

              “Well, are we going out in the morning after those coyotes or not?” Matthew said. He really didn’t want to get into discussing his history with Saba sitting there with her beautiful, curious eyes. She wasn’t looking around too much, but Matthew could see that she heard every word. There was an alertness about Saba that he’d never seen before; a poise that came with being entirely in the moment. “If we are, the last thing I want to be is hung over.”

              “What coyotes?” David asked.

              This gave Charlie the opportunity to tell of his hunting triumph once again. Matthew watched Saba while his brothers talked. The way she sat there, quietly receptive, entranced him. It was the opposite of being with Jenn; spending time with the horse trainer meant hardly ever being able to get a word in edgewise.

              He hadn’t called Jenn after talking to Ada. That had turned out not to matter, Jenn had called him.

              “How’d the coyote hunt go?” she asked.

              “All right,” Matthew had replied. The conversation he’d had with his sister in law was running through his mind; there was no way he was ready to have children with anyone. The thought of it made him want to throw the phone across the room. He knew he had to get out of this relationship. “We got five of the eight.”

              “Can they do that without you?” Jenn had asked. “I was hoping you’d come spend some time with me tonight.”

              Matthew sighed. He wasn’t sure what to say, and didn’t want to hurt the pretty horse trainer’s feelings. “Jenn…”

              Jenn heard the sigh. “So we’re done?” she asked. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”

              “It’s just…” Matthew began.

              “How about we try not having this conversation?” Jenn snapped. “It was a good ride, it’s over, good bye.”

              “It’s not…” Matthew said, only to find himself talking to the dial tone. He felt both relieved and sad; Jenn deserved an explanation, but he didn’t know that he was in a position to give it. 

              After, he told Ada that Jenn wasn’t coming by for dinner. That simple sentence seemed to convey everything his sister in law wanted to know. Her smile was sad when she said, “That’s too bad,” but she didn’t say anything else.

              Ada was a funny woman,  Matthew thought. She’d fallen for Charlie hard and fast, deciding to loan him ten thousand dollars to save the ranch from being seized for back taxes. The wedding had followed soon after, and ever since, she’d devoted herself to building a strong life with his brother.

Nothing seemed to rattle Ada. Finding out her older brother in law was headed to jail for embezzlement? Didn’t slow her down a bit. Having her younger brother in law return from overseas with a wife and child? Filled her with joy instead of angst or apprehension. That unflappability was a good counter to his brother’s increasing agitation.

Maybe Saba was right, Matthew thought. Perhaps it was the knowledge that his child would soon be born that had his little brother so worked up. Charlie loved Ada immensely. It was evident every time he looked at his bride that his heart was full of love. He smiled every time he said her name. The thought of her being in any kind of danger –even the little bit of hazard that came with childbirth – made him upset. Not knowing how to process those emotions was bringing out his brother’s worst side.

“So that’s what we’ll do,” Charlie announced, startling Matthew out of his thoughts. “Just like we planned last time: Freddie and Matt will go up to the top of the ridge and drive any coyotes they can down toward me and Sean. We’ll take care of them there.”  He glanced at his younger brother. “What about you, David? You want to be part of this action?”

“Sure,” David said, draining his whiskey is a long, single swallow. “I could shoot something.”

7

Matthew had given up his bed in the guest room for David, Saba and Hafez. The guest house wasn’t exactly habitable yet, and there wasn’t any room in the bunkhouse with Sean and Freddie. Waving off Ada’s concerns about coyotes, Matthew grabbed a blanket and settled down on the front porch swing for the night. “It’ll be just like camping,” he told Ada, who reluctantly agreed that the remaining coyotes weren’t likely to attempt a direct frontal assault on the house.

Once everyone had gone to bed, Matthew found he couldn’t sleep a wink. The moon was thinner than it had been the night before. It was dark and still. His mind was whirling in a thousand directions, thinking through his breakup with Jenn, his history with Amy, everything that had ever gone in any of his romantic relationships ever.  It was not the best evening he’d ever had.

Time went by slowly. He watched the stars tracing their way across the vast Texan sky. Each tiny dot, he knew, was in truth millions and millions of miles away, but here, they felt closer. All around him was inky blackness; if he stepped off of the porch and off into the night, he’d have no bearings at all. If he picked a direction at random and started walking, it would be easy to disappear. Given the presence of coyotes, gullies and other hazards, that disappearance could be permanent, Matthew thought.

He wasn’t sure that’d be an entirely bad thing. He’d screwed up his entire life. Making a life here in Texas wasn’t going to work out. He was sure of it. He’d just lost the first girlfriend he’d had after jail; the relationship had lasted less than three months. Even the ranch hands could see that Matthew’s heart wasn’t in ranching. Freddie had come out and said as much. This morning, he’d interrupted Charlie and Ada in a romantic moment, like some dumb teenager. Who was going to miss him if he was gone?

Saba interrupted this train of thought by opening the front door and walking out onto the porch.  She glanced toward Matthew, who spoke softly.

“Don’t worry about being quiet,” he said. “I can’t sleep for nothing.”

“Me either,” Saba replied. “David is snoring and it sounds like the side of the mountain coming down.”

“I remember him snoring when we were kids,” Matthew said. “We used to try to shut him up by putting the pillow over his face.”

“Did that work?” Saba asked.

Matthew laughed. “Well, usually it would wake him up, and the three of us would fight like hell until Mom came in yelling. So yes, it made his stop snoring. But did we get any sleep? Not so much.”

Saba’s laugh was soft and musical, washing over Matthew like a balm. “Between him and Hafez, I may never sleep again.” She waved her hand in front of her face, as if fanning a foul scent away from her nose. “And tonight his breath smells like the bar room. It does not make things any better.”

“They did get into the whiskey pretty good,” Matthew agreed. “I don’t know if either one of them is going to be up for much hunting when the sun comes up.”

“Oh, it never slows David down,”  Saba said. “I don’t know about your Charlie.”

“Does he drink a lot?” Matthew asked.

Saba’s face set. “I don’t know how much your brother has told you about what it is like in my country.”

“He told us about your family,” Matthew said. “About what happened. And I’m truly sorry.”

“Fortune passes everywhere,” Saba said. “What I have lost, many families have lost.” She shrugged. “He feels responsible. That is why he insisted on marrying me.”

“Do you love him?” Matthew asked.

“What is love?” Saba asked. “I loved Assim – my  husband – and he is gone. Still in my heart, he is there.”

Matthew nodded. “That’s understandable.”

“For your brother?” Saba shrugged. “He is a good man. He tries to be a good man. And he will do his best to provide for Hafez a good life.”

“Hafez is not his son,” Matthew said.

“Of course not,” Saba said. “David will tell you that he is, because we are married now, but anyone with eyes can see the truth of that.”

“Why,” Matthew asked, choosing his words carefully, “does David feel so responsible for you and your son?”

“You know Kunduz?” Saba asked.

“David has mentioned it,” Matthew said. “I’ve never been there.”

“My village was to the south west of Kunduz,” Saba said. “It’s not so big. Some five families, maybe six. We tried to stay out of everyone’s attention – the Taliban, the Americans, the Russians, the French – let everyone go by and we will keep to ourselves.”

Matthew nodded. It reminded him of his own strategy for making it through his jail sentence with his skin intact. “So what happened?”

“Your brother was part of a force attacking Kunduz. They’d  hoped to drive the Taliban away.”

Matthew remembered what his brother had said the night before. He felt a sinking feeling forming in his stomach, a sour ache that burned its way into his intestines. “Oh, no.”

“The fight went badly,” Saba continued. “Your brother called for help. The bombers came, and they did what they always do.”

“But the bombs did not fall on the Taliban,” Matthew said softly. “Did they?”

Saba shook her head. “They did not.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “When David found out what had happened, he took a jeep from the base and drove out to see what had happened for himself. We’d been lying under our house for three days.” A little sob slipped out of her lips, a night bird that winged its way rapidly between them before fleeing into the black sky. “Hafiz had been in my arms when the bombs came; I’d fallen on top of him. David pulled us out.”

“And your husband?” Matthew asked.

“I do not want to talk about that,” Saba said. “I saw what I saw, and David saw it too.”

They sat in silence a long time. The stars moved slowly. The night grew no lighter.

“I am so sorry,” Matthew said. “I wish there was some way I could make it better.”

“You sound like your brother,” Saba said. “That day, he put out his hand to me and said if you marry me, I will take you far, far away from here. “ She looked at Matthew, with her eyes wide and shining. “What else was I supposed to do? Everything was gone. Everyone was dead. So we married. And now I am in the Texas.”

“Do you think you’re going to be happy?” Matthew asked.

“I think I am going to be alive,” Saba replied. “And as long as I am alive, I can take care of my son. Everything else will come after that.”

She stood up and half bowed toward Matthew. “Do not judge your brother harshly. What he did has been done many times before.” She turned toward the door. “He is trying to make amends.”

“Will it work?” Matthew asked.

“I don’t know.”  Saba went inside. Matthew did not sleep again that night.