Mine to Spell (Mine #2) (25 page)

“
No.” His eyebrows lift in response to my denial. “I’m as much a part of this as he is. In fact, maybe you should leave so we can talk about what happened.”

Lukas’s thumb makes circles on the back of my hand, soothing some of my anger.

“Sorry.” Zade paces across the width of the room a few times before stopping in front of us. “Have you two truly been working on magic, or has there been a lot of… cuddling happening?”

“
We’ve been practicing,” Lukas says. “That was the first, and only, time we’ve kissed. I don’t think either of us meant for it to happen. And really, what business is it of yours?”

Zade squeezes his eyes tight a moment before collapsing into a nearby chair. “I’m sorry. I’m being an idiot again. Everything is so hard right now I—” He grunts. “Sorry.”

“You’ve said that.” Even if his apologies are softening me toward him, I’m not ready to easily let him get away with ruining my first kiss.

“
It’s true, even if it’s not enough. I’ve no right. It’s just that, so many lives are in danger. I wanted to see if you needed any help training, and when I found you two were kissing, I thought it was all being wasted for a secret courtship.”

I step away from both of them so they won’t see the heat warming my face.

“We really have been working,” Lukas says.

“
Actually, today we weren’t,” I say.

Zade gives me a look. “That was obvious.”

“No, before what you saw.” I clear my throat. “Lukas was teaching me a way that may help Serena sense her magic. If I can help her sense it, maybe she can learn a few spells like Bethany. Maybe she’ll not only be able to see and understand more of the good magic can do, but have another way to protect herself and our sisters.”

“
That’s what you two were doing?”

“
It was.”

He groans. “I really am an idiot.” He puts his head in his hand a moment. “It would be good if you could manage this. Thank you for helping. Serena’s trying to come to terms with magic. If you could get her to open up enough that she’d accept being taught, well, it wouldn’t be enough, but it’d help. It’d probably help you grow stronger as well.”

He walks over to us. “Why don’t you show me what you were trying? Maybe I can add to it.”

I glance at Lukas. His eyes are on my lips. At least we’re both distracted by the same thing.

“Or maybe you two should talk first. I’ll come back in ten.” He heads for the door, but says before he leaves, “I don’t want to be any more of an idiot, but there’s one thing. I want you both to be happy. You both deserve someone who will care about you. But you need to remember how many lives are being risked for this chance.

“
If your relationship becomes a complication, it won’t help anyone. Cynthia, you could die in the tournament if we don’t do everything we can to help you. Developing feelings for another is intense and interferes with clear thinking. I know from experience. The more I grow to care about Serena, the more I worry over her life here. I want to give up everything I’m trying to fight for, all those I’m trying to help, just to keep her safe. But I can’t do that. I have to fight for the Chardonians who need me while trying not to make things worse for her. I wouldn’t change my feelings for her, but it’s left me torn and jagged.

“
This isn’t meant to discourage a relationship between you two, but maybe you could hold off getting any more serious? Either way, I won’t say anything further, no matter what you decide.”

With that, he leaves the room. We both stand there a moment, staring at the closed door. The silence is prickled with awkwardness. I know Zade cares for Serena, that their relationship is developing into something I’ve never seen before. Clearly I don’t understand it or the intensity building with it.

Is that what waits for Lukas and me if we proceed? Our fingers are still entwined. If our lives become more entwined, will I be tearing him between me and his duty? Will I be tearing myself between what I want and what I need to do?

Finally, I take a step back from Lukas, letting our hands drift apart. He reaches his hand up like he’s going to take mine again but lets it fall back without even a brief contact.

“He’s right, isn’t he?” The question feels more like a statement.

Lukas suddenly grabs both of my hands in his and holds them tight against his chest. “Did that kiss mean something to you?”

I start to glance away as a blush creeps up my cheeks but he gently takes a hold of my chin, and turns my face toward him. The blush leaves, but is replaced by something else. Something still warm, but stronger. My pulse flutters as I feel his soft touch and remember what it felt like when his lips were on mine.

“
Did it mean something?” he asks again.

“
It did.” I can barely hear my own words, but by the light in his eyes, he heard.

“
It meant something to me, too.”

My breath catches.

“What are we going to do about it?” I finally ask.

His hand cups my cheek. “We’re going to get you ready for the tournament. You’re going to compete and impress everyone with your skills. And then.” He leans so close I can feel the heat of him reaching up to meet me. “And then we are going to kiss again.”

“I’d like that.” More than like it.

His hand slowly leaves, fingers trailing down my face as he goes.

And I so much want to kiss him again now, not later, but instead we both step back. I take a big, gasping breath of the cooler air and give myself a moment to gather my thoughts before saying, “Why don’t you teach me how to do that spell so I can show Serena?”

In moments, he’s teaching while I’m trying to ignore the undercurrent between us so I can learn all I need to. A while later, Zade rejoins us. Without a word about the kiss, or what we decided to do about it, he helps Lukas. His insight is valuable, leaving me grateful he’s here. Yet, as much as I know this is the right thing to be doing, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t walked in on my first kiss.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It’s been, well, not awkward, but not comfortable between us ever since our one and only kiss. I want to be with Lukas, but it feels like we’re stretching ourselves in strange ways, trying not to get too close. Mostly, we haven’t spent much time together. Zade and Chadwick have done almost all my training since the kiss. The wondrous, wish-it-could-happen-again-soon kiss. And I’ve missed being with him.

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” Lukas says, as if he can read my thoughts. Besides, the house that seemed big not so long ago, now presses in on me, choking me.

“
A walk sounds nice. Where are we going?”

“
We’ll ride to the tournament grounds, and I'll show you around.”

Not very romantic, but since we’re not trying to be romantic anyway, it’s a good idea. “Do we have to take a guard, or do you think we’re safe enough by ourselves?”

“We should take some guards just in case, but I think we’ll be fine. They won’t be expecting it since you haven’t left since we got here. It’ll be good for you to see the tournament fields before everything starts.”

That’s a relief, and it will be good to see everything before it’s time to compete, though I wish a guard still wasn’t necessary. “Great. Let’s go.”

The morning air is still crisp, nipping into my skin as we find Conrad and Chadwick who both agree to join us. We hurry through familiar streets, not quickly enough to be noticeable, but not lingering either. All those years wishing we could ride in a way that makes it so we can see outside, and now that I’m finally doing it, I feel exposed. The small window Chadwick helped Lukas install in the carriage has been spelled so that while I can see out of it, others can’t see in. It still feels like they can, though. At least we didn’t go with riding a horse like I wanted. Then the feeling would have been multiplied. Lukas points out landmarks through the open carriage window as we go.

“
You shouldn’t need to know the way, but just in case something happens, it’s nice to know what to expect,” Lukas says, raising his voice just enough that I can hear him.

“
It will be.” I’m already shaking, and it’s not even a tournament day. Even with all the practice I’ve had over a lifetime, I don’t know how I’m going to hide this fear when it’s time to participate.

As the carriage pulls to a stop, the area becomes familiar again, bringing with it memories of last year. A time when I had such mixed emotions. Excitement over being at a new place. Worry over losing my sister. And a lot of fascination over seeing more spells in one day than I’d seen in a lifetime. And here I am, a year later, getting ready to join in the fray.

I exit the carriage, Chadwick and Conrad moving some distance away to keep an eye on things while Lukas shows me around. We’re the only ones here.

“
Duelers meet there.” Lukas points toward an open field with a stone stands, taller and wider than me in the middle of it, polished smooth. “The list of who you’re fighting is posted on that stone. Check it first thing. It never changes once posted. If you miss a duel because you didn’t, and don’t know where you’re supposed to be, it’s not an excuse. You’ll be disqualified. “

It’s a lot to take in all at once. Not only all the new spells I’ve learned, and harnessing my magic, but all these new circumstances. Things have never changed so quickly before, and this next week is going to be worse. “I think I can manage being on time, at least.”

“Hey.” His hand reaches toward me, but then pulls back. “I’ll be with you as much as I can. Chadwick and Conrad will always be around, not just protecting you but supporting you. No matter what happens, things are going to be fine. You can do this.”

I hate feeling like I have to hold back when I don’t know what the next week is going to bring. “I understand we’re waiting until after things have settled down to see where we are, but can I have a hug?”

The words are barely out of my mouth when I’m wrapped in his arms. He doesn’t say anything, just holds me. The tension building in me over the last few weeks doesn’t leave, but it sags under his soothing touch. My troubles may not be gone, but somehow being in his arms makes them feel smaller.

When I pull away, instead of feeling like I need to lean back into him like I expect, I feel better. Stronger. Like maybe I can do this, even during the times I have to do it on my own. I’ve had help and support, not just from him, but so many others. No matter how things go during the tournament, I will at least succeed at showing everyone what women can do.

“Thank you.”

He shifts his weight. “There’s something I’d like you to have, if you want it.”

What else could he possibly give me? He’s already given so much. “Oh?”

He reaches into his shirt, pulling out a chain which he lifts over his head and places in his palm. Strung on it is a silver ring, black stripe wound around the middle with flecks of the silver showing through. There’s something inscribed on the inside, but I can’t make out what.

“Arthur gave this to me. He said it was to remind me of what good I can do.” He slips the ring off the chain and hands it to me. “I’d like you to have it.”

The ring is light on my palm, but weighty in my chest. It’s a comforting weight, like being wrapped in a pile of blankets on a cold day. I turn it so I can read the inscription.

Strength in yourself is strength for others.

“
Thank you.” I slip it on my thumb, a perfect fit.

He reaches for my hand and rubs his own thumb over the newly-placed ring before letting his hand drop. As much as I wish our hands would stay intertwined, the ring is a comforting reminder of both him and what I’m trying to do.

We should probably go, but neither of us move from our spots. After a few moments, Lukas says, “Would you like to try a mental duel with me, like we Chryons do?”

“
I’d really like that.”

He casts a ring for a dueling area the same size I’m accustomed to, but when I move to enter, he says, “Duelers don’t enter the ring in Chryos, only their spells do and spells must stay contained inside the ring. Stand just outside it, and you’ll cast everything into it.”

I step up to the ring, the toes of my boots almost touching the white-with-hints-of-green line. “What type of things do I cast into it?”

“
That’s where the mental challenge comes from.” He winks at me. “Instead of attacking each other, our spells do the actual fighting. So if I cast this…” A fiery spell darts from him into the circle, the magical flames dancing across the dirt but remaining inside the ring. “How would you counter it?”

“
This.” I zap a water spell in, its fluid-like light snuffing his flames.

“
Exactly.”

Not much different than the duels I’ve been training for then, just less risk to me. It’s a shame Chardonia doesn’t duel like this. I smile at him, until I realize there’s something moving off in the distance behind him. Something dark, and it’s getting closer. Lukas turns toward where I’m looking. Immediately, he throws up a vibrant blue shield tinted with green and yellow before grabbing me.