Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 5: School Daze (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (2 page)

Saturday

My life is ruined!

My parents came home last night talking about how the teacher showed them the great essay I wrote.

“I never knew you liked camp so much, son.”  Dad said.

“Yes, Honey.  We were going to give you the summer to do whatever you wanted.”  My Mom said.  “Now that we know you love camp so much, we signed you up to go to camp this summer.  There was a camp representative at the Parent-Teacher conference last night, so we signed you up right away.”

“We even put down a non-refundable deposit for it too, son.” Dad said.  “So, congratulations, you’re going to camp!”

OMZ!

My life is totally ruined!

Now I’m going to spend my summer in the Swamp Biome at camp.

Oh man, this is terrible!

What am I going to do?!!

I decided to ask Steve some advice on how to get out of my terrible situation.

I found Steve in a cave crafting some fireworks.

All of a sudden, “BOOOOMMM!”

All that was left of him were his tools and his weapons.

A few minutes later, Steve walked into the cave behind me.

I totally understand how he does that trick now.

“Hey, Steve!”

“Wassup, Zombie?” Steve said.

“I have a question for you.”

“Shoot!” Steve said.

So, I picked up his bow and arrow and I shot him.

“Ow!  What’d you do that for?”

“You told me to shoot.”  I said.

“Forget about it.  What’s your question?”

“My Mom and Dad are making me go to camp this summer.”  I said.  “But I don’t want to go.  I’ve got to find a way out of it, and I need your help.”

“Why are they sending you to camp?”  Steve asked.

“Well, I kind of told them I wanted to go.”

“And now, you don’t want to go?”  Steve asked.

“No, I never wanted to go…”  I said.

Steve just looked at me…Confused.

“Well, I thought if I write an essay on how much I wanted to go to camp, my Mom and Dad wouldn’t send me to camp.” I said.

After I said it out loud, I realized how dumb that idea was.

“It sure made sense at the time.” I said.

“So, you want to get out of camp, but your parents think you really want to go to camp?”  Steve asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well, you could always get in trouble and they’ll punish you by taking away your camping trip.” Steve said.

Man, Steve is so smart.  That was the best idea I had ever heard.

So, I’ve got to get in trouble, so that my parents will punish me by taking my camping trip away.

I can do that.  I just have to find a class that I can fail this semester, and they’ll punish me for sure if that happens.

See, this is why I always go to Steve when I need some good advice.

Sunday

So I figured out what I’m going to do.

The Annual School Science Fair is supposed to be this week.

Everybody in my science class is supposed to bring a project.

And my Mom and Dad have been reminding me about it all semester.

So I was thinking.  If I make the worst science project ever, then I’ll flunk my science class for sure.

Then my parents will ground me and not let me go to the camping trip.

So, I need to come up with the worst science experiment ever.

Let me see…

I could enter my booger collection…

Naw, I did that last year and I still passed my class.

Or I could enter one of my smelly gym socks.  There’s a lot of science going on there…

Naw.  Knowing my science teacher, he’ll probably give me an “A” for creativity or something.

Or, I could dissect my litter brother and show that little brothers are really rotten to the core…

Naaa.  Even though it would be a lot of fun, I would probably have a hard time holding him down.

No.  It’s got to be the worst science experiment ever known to Zombie-kind.

“I know!  I’ll enter Steve, a human being, as my science experiment,” I thought.

Oh man, that’ll get me a failing grade for sure.

Either that or it’ll scare the daylights out of my science teacher and all of the other kids.  Then I’ll really get in a lot of trouble.

Wow, summer vacation here I come!

Monday

I told Steve about my plans for the science fair and he was all in.

“So, I’m going to stick some electrodes to your forehead and neck.  Then, I’m going to throw a switch, and you’re going to come to life.”  I said.

“You mean like Frankenstein?”  Steve asked.

“Franken-who?”

“Frankenstein…You know.  The mad-scientist that collected body parts and sowed them together.  Then he shocked the body full of lightning and it came to life.” Steve said.

“Never heard of him.”  I said.  “But, anyway, the science fair is on Wednesday.  You just have to meet me before school, outside of the gym and I’ll let you in through the back.  Got it?”

“Got it.”  Steve said.

This idea is sure to give me a flunking grade. 

Then I’ll be free from my trip to “prison” camp, and I’ll be able to enjoy my summer.

This really was a great idea, I thought.

Wow, I never thought I was that smart.

Yeah me…

Tuesday

Today, Creepy was telling me all about how excited he was about going to camp.

He told me that they were going to have a big talent show this year, and he was going to be a part of a band.

“I didn’t know you could play an instrument.”  I said to Creepy.

“Yeah, I play a mean set of drums.” Creepy said.

Now, I was going to ask him how he plays drums without arms…But I think some things are best left alone.

I told the guys my idea for the science fair.

“Whoa, that’s really cool.” They said.

The guys aren’t very smart, so if they liked it, I’m sure that the teacher is going to hate my idea and flunk me.

Later, at home, I prepared my machine with electrodes and everything.

I took the extra car battery from the garage and connected it.  It started sparking and making noise.

“MUAHAHAHAHA!!!” I said real loud.

I thought I might as well act the part and make it look real.

So, I was all set.

When I came down to dinner, my Mom and Dad asked me about the science fair.

“What are you going to do for your project this year?”  Dad said.  “I hope you’re not entering your booger collection again.  I’m sorry buddy, but a booger collection is not exactly science fair material.  Especially since everyone has one.”

“Don’t worry, Dad.  This year I went all out.” I said.  “My project is going to be a real winner.”

“Honey, I’m so proud of you.” Mom said.  “And, if you win, we were thinking of giving you an extra week of camp as a reward.”

“Yeah!” I said, knowing full well I was going to flunk miserably, and spend my summer playing video games and eating tons of cake.

Wednesday

They said that a famous Zombie was visiting the school and was going to judge the science fair this year.

That’s great, I thought.  Now I know I’ll definitely fail.

So I got everything ready, and I let Steve in through the back of the gym.

I had Steve lie down on a table and I put a blanket over him.

Then I rolled him out next to my electrode machine.

The famous visiting Zombie was really tall.  Almost as tall as my friend Mutant.

He went around with the science teacher, judging all of the other science fair projects. 

He didn’t look too impressed though.

“Great, then he’ll really hate mine,” I thought.

My experiment was the last one to get judged.

So when the famous Zombie and the science teacher came to my table, I got into character…

“MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” I said, “Now I will bring this human back to life.  MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

I threw the switch and all of the lights went out in the gym.

My electrode machine was shooting sparks and lighting up the whole gym.

“RISE, MY CREATURE!  RISE!” 

Suddenly, Steve sat up from the table.

“IT’S ALIVE!   IT’S ALLLIIIIIIIIVE!”

Steve stands up and he stretches his arms out like a Zombie and says, “UUURRGGHH!!!”

All of a sudden, the mob kids start running and screaming out of the gym.  “IT’S A HUMAN!” they screamed, as Steve chased after them.

“Man, it’s working,” I thought. “This is a disaster.  I’m going to flunk this class for sure.”

“MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

All of a sudden, the lights come back on.

The visiting famous Zombie was standing right in front of me…

As he’s staring at me, he does the weirdest thing ever.

He raises his big hand, and wipes a tear from his eye.

“That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen!” He said.  Then he ran out of the gym sobbing.

My science teacher came over to me and said, “Congratulations Zombie.  That was the most authentic reenactment of the creation of Frankenstein that I have ever seen.  But how did you know that Frankenstein was going to visit today? I only heard about it this morning…”

I just looked at him…Confused.

Then I dreaded what he was going to say next.

“Everyone, Everyone!  The winner of this year’s science fair, for outstanding creativity, authenticity and imagination goes to Zack Zombie, for his project – The Rise of Frankenstein!”

Everybody in the gym started applauding and cheering.

“How do you feel, son?”  My science teacher asked me.

“Great,” I said, as I thought about my parent’s adding another week to my summer prison camp sentence…

Thursday

My parents took me to “The Woking Dead” Chinese restaurant to celebrate me winning the science fair.

“We’re so proud of you, son,” Dad said.  “You’re a chip off the old block.”

“Maybe he can work with you at the Nuclear Waste Plant for the summer,” Mom said.  “That way he’ll be able to develop his scientific talent.”

I just tried to bury my sorrow in my Zombie egg roll.

“So, son,” Dad said.  “I just put another non-refundable deposit for another week at camp for you.  I don’t know how we’re going to afford it.  But you’re worth it.”

“Maybe we should send him to science camp too, this summer,” Mom said.

I threw up my egg roll.

“Wow, look how excited he is,” Mom said.

Friday

The good thing that came from winning the science fair is that Mom and Dad let me go to a sleepover at Skelee’s house to celebrate.

So me, Slimey and Creepy went over to Skelee’s house for a sleepover movie night.

All of the guys congratulated me on my science fair win.

Then Creepy started talking more about how great it is that I’m going an extra week to camp.

“There’s going to be a competition against the camp next to us.” Creepy said.  “We’ve lost every year since I’ve been there.  “But with your science skills I think we can really beat them this year.”

“Guys, I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I said.  “What movie are we watching tonight, anyway?”

“Creepaway Camp 3: Terror in the Woods,” Skelee said.  “I heard it was really good.”

Oh brother…