Minus Me (25 page)

The cat looks up at her. Its tail is so bushy, you don’t need to be a cat expert to know that it’s very angry.

‘Don’t you understand? We have to hide quietly, you stupid creature,’ whispers Linda.

Naturally the cat doesn’t answer. The shop bell rings again as Axel and Mia go in. Axel’s bicycle is standing neatly parked outside. Linda wants to kick it over. There it stands, newly polished and gleaming in the sun.

‘What the hell?’ The words just pop out of her mouth as she sees Axel and Mia come out again with a bottle of Fanta, which they are clearly going to share. Linda looks down at the bottle in her own hand, and suddenly doesn’t feel thirsty. She doesn’t want a whole bottle of Fanta to herself. She slings it onto a heap of dirty snow that hasn’t melted away in the sun yet. The contents trickle out. It looks like piss.

Linda hears Mia squealing with laughter. She peeps round the corner, only to see Mia drinking from the bottle as Axel holds it. Oh my God! Can’t you even hold your own drink bottle? Then Mia holds the bottle for Axel. A few drops spill and Mia takes off one of her gloves, which are of course also pink, and wipes the drops off his chin. Then she sticks her fingers in her mouth to lick off the orangeade.

I want to puke, thinks Linda. In fact, I think I am going to puke. She goes over to a pile of snow, leans forward and retches, but nothing comes up. She sticks her fingers down her throat, but with the same result. The only thing that lands in the snow is her mother’s phone. It has slipped out of her pocket. She’s amazed to see that her parents haven’t sent her a million texts. Perhaps they’ve finally realized she’s a teenager and can look after herself?

Linda picks up the phone and dries it on her sleeve. Then she gets an idea.
Meet me at our usual place. Important! Linda
, she writes. It’s lucky her mother always insisted on storing all her friends’ numbers. ‘In case of an emergency,’ she used to say. Well, this is an emergency! thinks Linda, as she presses the send button.

She walks back and stands by the corner of the shop. She hears Axel’s phone go off, and she cautiously peeps around the corner. She sees Axel take his arm from around Mia. He fiddles with his phone, reads the message, and then stuffs it quickly back in his pocket.

‘I’ve got to go,’ he says, getting up from the bench.

‘Who was it?’ asks Mia.

‘Er, Mum. I’ve forgotten to clean the toilet.’

Standing there behind the corner, Linda rolls her eyes to herself. Axel is such a bad liar.

‘Okay,’ says Mia. ‘Shall I come with you?’ For once it’s a good thing Mia’s so thick, Linda thinks to herself.

‘To clean the toilet? You want to help me clean the toilet?’ says Axel.

‘Yes.’

‘That’s sweet of you, but you really don’t have to! I’ll ring you later, okay?’ says Axel, setting off on his bicycle.

‘Can’t we at least walk together?’

‘It’s an emergency, Mum’s going crazy,’ says Axel, peddling off before there’s any more discussion on the matter.

‘Bye!’ he shouts over his shoulder.

‘Bye!’ whispers Linda, laughing to herself.

Then she tears the wrapper off the little chocolate bar she bought, stuffs it into her mouth whole and feels instantly better.

Chapter 52

The sun is shining. There are just a few patches of snow left, and there are green shoots lying in wait under last year’s yellow grass. But it’s still quite cold. It’s strange, though, how much earlier the spring seems to arrive down here in the south of Norway. Up in Trondheim there’s nothing but snow and frost, followed by rain and slush, then more snow and hail, and then, some time in May, spring arrives for two days, and then – pow – it’s summer. Here the spring creeps in from February or March, often bringing endless weeks of rain. A bright, sunny day like this is unusual. Nice, but pretty extraordinary.

Linda puts her rucksack down, and digs out her birthday dress. She gives it a shake, hoping the creases will drop out. She takes off her jacket, and pulls the stunning little black number over her head. Then she puts her jacket back on and keeps her trousers on underneath. Finally she puts on her tiara, before going down to the edge of the water to look at her reflection. The water in the fjord is calm, yet her reflection is unclear. But yes, she looks pretty good. Linda straightens the tiara. Beneath her reflection she sees a crab scurrying sideways to a hiding place under a stone.

She remembers a song that her mum had liked from when she was little. Her mum had sung it so much it eventually got stuck in Linda’s brain too. Linda sits on her haunches and peers down at the stone, from which the little crab is poking out. Then she begins singing quietly to herself.

Back and forth, we’ll row and we’ll row,

Off to the place where the fishes all go.

We’ll jump in a boat and leave shore behind,

We’ll row and we’ll row and soon we will find

The world of the fishes far, far below.

Back and forth . . .

‘. . . back and forth . . .’ she hears a voice singing behind her, and she sees Axel’s reflection in the water. ‘Sit here at my side, and off we shall go, in my lovely blue boat . . .’ he continues.

He crouches down beside her before saying that he remembers that song too. His school had put on a show in fourth grade, and Axel had been Crusty Crab.

‘Well, there’s a real Crusty Crab down here,’ says Linda, pointing at the crab under the stone.

Axel looks at where she’s pointing.

‘Yes, a real little devil,’ he says.

Linda doesn’t answer. She just feels his body close to hers. He is sitting so close. He didn’t have to sit so close. Does he like her more than Mia, perhaps? She decides to do it. She turns towards Axel, takes his face in both hands, closes her eyes, and brings her mouth close to his.

‘What are you doing?’

Axel leaps up, and Linda topples into the shallow water. Luckily, she saves herself with both hands. But the little crab gets a bit of a shock. It darts out from under the stone and heads for deeper water.

‘What are you doing?’ Linda yells back, getting up. The skirt of her dress is drenched, and so are the arms of her jacket, feet and all the way up to the knees of her trousers.

‘I’m sorry. Did you get wet?’ Axel asks.

‘As you can see,’ says Linda, wringing out her skirt and taking off her jacket and flinging it down on the beach. She can feel water running into her shoes too.

‘I’m sorry. You can borrow mine,’ says Axel.

He takes off his jacket and gives it to her.

‘But won’t you be cold?’ Linda asks.

‘I’ve got my pullover on,’ he says. ‘Nice dress, by the way. I hope it’s not spoiled.’

Axel picks up Linda’s jacket and brushes the sand off it, before tying it round his waist.

‘I hope so too. I’m going to be buried in it!’ Linda snarls.

‘What do you mean?’ asks Axel.

Linda doesn’t answer. She goes to her rucksack, lying on the sand. She opens it and takes out the brown envelope.

‘What’s that?’

‘You do ask a lot of questions. Open it and see,’ says Linda, handing it to him.

Axel opens it and takes out the X-ray. He holds it up to the sun.

‘It’s beautiful. What is it?’

‘It’s my heart. You can have it,’ says Linda, with a shrug.

‘But I . . .’ Axel clears his throat before continuing. ‘I’m with Mia now. You must have realized?’

‘But I’m going to die. I came here because my heart is useless. That picture shows it’s completely knackered. The doctor doesn’t know why, or how long it’ll hold out. I came here because you and I have always belonged together, Axel.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That we were destined for each other. From when we were kids. Don’t you realize?’ Linda says, moving towards him.

Again she tries to kiss him, but he steps back.

‘You can’t say you’re as in love with Mia as you are with me.’

Axel looks at her in reply, bites his lips, and kicks the sand. He takes a deep breath.

‘Well, I suppose I was a bit interested in you this summer, but . . .’

‘Ha, I knew it,’ Linda shouts.

‘But you didn’t seem to feel the same way. In fact, you were really mean.’

‘I’m sorry, Axel. I really am sorry. I handled it badly. When I realized you were interested, something went click in my brain and I turned into a prize idiot! Can’t you forgive me? Can’t it be the two of us?’

‘But I’ve got a girlfriend, Linda. I like you a lot, but I’m in love with Mia.’

He takes a couple more steps back, as if he wants to be at a safe distance if she tries to kiss him again.

‘Mia! Ha! Do you remember how pathetic we thought she was? Like the way she always wears pink, and is so scared of getting any marks on her clothes.’

‘You were the one who went on about how pathetic she was. I never said it,’ says Axel.

‘But you didn’t contradict me,’ says Linda.

‘It’s not exactly easy to contradict you, when you get going,’ says Axel quietly.

‘Are you saying I’m bossy?’

‘No, but you can be a bit forceful,’ he says without looking at her, concentrating instead on the groove he’s making in the damp sand. As if it’s really important.

‘You’re just like all the others,’ says Linda.

‘Like the others?’

‘You’re frightened of me, aren’t you?’

‘No,’ says Axel firmly.

‘Yes, you are. You’re frightened because I’m going to die. That’s why you won’t kiss me, because you’re frightened you might catch some mysterious disease.’

‘That’s not true. I told you, I’ve a got a girlfriend. I don’t want to hurt Mia. It wouldn’t be right,’ says Axel, starting to leave.

‘Well, what about me, then? I’m the one who’s going to die. I’m the one who’s come all the way from Trondheim to see you. Just to say sorry, sorry for reading your poems, sorry for laughing at you, sorry I didn’t kiss you!’

Axel stops, turns and walks towards Linda. He puts his arms around her and gives her a big hug.

‘You are forgiven, Linda. And I hope you’ll understand that I can’t kiss you. It’s just not possible.’

‘Why do you have to be so stubborn?’ Linda sobs into Axel’s chest, sniffing his woolly pullover that smells like sheep.

‘You’re not bad at being stubborn yourself. To think you’ve come all the way here, just to say sorry. That means so much to me, Linda.’

‘But clearly not enough,’ says Linda, pushing him away. ‘Piss off,’ she says, before heading for the water’s edge.

‘My jacket?’ Axel says hesitantly.

‘Do you want me to freeze to death?’ Linda snarls.

She doesn’t dare to turn around, because her face is covered with tears, and she doubts she looks very tough.

Chapter 53

Linda cycles away from the beach with Axel’s jacket over her dress. She feels pretty aimless now, and can’t bear to go back to the cottage where her parents will be waiting. Going round a corner, Linda almost cycles into a pink creature-thing. She slams on the brake.

‘Hi,’ she says, putting her feet on the ground.

‘Hi,’ says Mia, pushing her hair to the side.

They stand in silence. Linda purses her lips, enjoying Mia’s discomfort. The pink troll is clearly feeling nervous now!

‘Your hair’s really cool. I didn’t recognize you earlier,’ says Mia.

‘I’ve talked to Axel. He’s dumping you.’

‘What do you mean? He just went home to clean the lavatory.’

Linda laughs inside. The lavatory indeed! Why can’t she say toilet, like anybody else?

‘He was lying. We met down on the beach. He kissed me, and he said he wasn’t in love with you. He said you were just a way to fill time.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ says Mia.

She tries to walk on, but Linda grabs hold of her so she can’t move.

‘Ow! Let me go,’ Mia squeals.

‘Ow! Ow! Ow! Let me go!’ says Linda, mimicking her. ‘Look, Mia! Can’t you see I’m wearing his jacket? Why would I wear his jacket if he wasn’t my boyfriend?’

‘I don’t know,’ says Mia, with tears in her voice.

‘I don’t know,’ says Linda, mimicking her again. ‘Oh . . . and he’s a very good kisser.’

Linda licks her lips demonstratively.

‘He tastes of Fanta,’ she adds.

Mia is in real floods of tears now, so Linda lets her go. Let her run away like some pathetic newborn calf. Linda has run away from Mia countless times, run away together with Axel, with Mia calling after them. Please wait for me! I can’t run that fast!

Linda stands and watches Mia go, and it feels as though a thousand knives were stabbing her in the stomach. She remembers what Zak said when they were on their way up the tower of the cathedral, to see the full moon. That we have an inner compass that tells us right from wrong. That when we do right it feels good, and when we do wrong it feels bad. Yes, Linda knows what these knives in her stomach are telling her. She waits until Mia has gone round the corner, then she flings her bicycle into a ditch, rips off the tiara, and throws that in with it.