Miracle in the Mist (19 page)

Sobs tore from him in great, wrenching torrents.

Alvin sat quietly and waited while Frank cried the tears Alvin suspected had not been shed back then. His heart went out to Frank. The pain of what Frank had lived through that night would have killed a lesser man. At least Alvin had been spared the torment of being there and not being able to do anything but stare helplessly at the lifeless body of the woman he loved.

As he'd listened to Frank relate the events of a night that had altered his life forever, Alvin could not see that any blame should rest on Frank's shoulders. Under the circumstances, he'd done everything he could to prevent the accident. Now, he would have to make Frank see that truth.

"It wasn't your fault." No sooner had the words passed his lips, when Alvin remembered how many times he'd heard those same empty words and how many times he'd thrown them back in the face of the person speaking them. "I know you don't believe that now, and I'm not going to be foolish enough to ask you to, but the time will come when you will believe it." He gripped Frank's arm tightly. "I promise you that."

Frank raised his tear-streaked face to stare at Alvin. "She was a good woman, a loving wife, and she would have made a wonderful mother. Why? Why did she have to die? Why not me?"

Alvin took a deep breath. "How many young lives did you save in surgery after the accident, Frank?"

Frank shook his head. "I don't know. Dozens maybe. What does that have to do with Sandy's death?"

"How many of those lives would have been lost without your knowledge and skill?"

"I know where you're going with this. If I'd died, then those kids would have died. Well, that's not so. There are other heart surgeons just as skilled as I am, maybe more so, who could have stepped in and performed those operations. But suppose you are right. Maybe I was spared so I could save those kids. That doesn't tell me the reason Sandy had to die."

Alvin sighed and released his grip on Frank's arm. "Perhaps there is no reason, Frank. Perhaps it was just… time."

Jumping to his feet, Frank glared at Alvin. "'Perhaps it was time'? Is that the only reason you can give me?" Anger, hot and uncontrollable, flared inside him. "I thought you people had all the answers. I thought if I just spilled my guts to you, that you would have something for me. I guess I was wrong. So we're back to square one.
I
drove the car into that tree.
I
killed my wife and unborn child. And
I
have to live with that." He turned and strode into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

***

Alvin walked slowly down the path toward Ellie's cottage, the orchid clutched incongruously in his large hand. As he walked, he reran Frank's story through his mind. Try as he might, he could find nothing to point at to prove to Frank he was blameless. As far as Alvin could see, Frank had done everything anyone could have done. That the other car had come at the wrong time certainly could not be construed as Frank's fault.

No one could take ownership. It was simply fate. But Frank was not going to be convinced that fate had been the culprit. Not when he'd been the one at the wheel.

But how could he make Frank see past that without self-condemnation?

He paused outside Ellie's door. Although he wanted desperately to get on with his own life, he wanted almost as fervently to help Frank get on with his. That he didn't have an answer to that dilemma brought a bit of the old slump back to his broad shoulders.

Heaving a sigh that came up from the soles of his feet, he knocked on the door.

Seconds later the door swung open. The sight of Ellie's beautiful, smiling face lifted some of the weight off his mind. For a moment, she just searched Alvin's face, then her smile widened.

"He told you, didn't he?"

Alvin nodded and slipped inside, heading immediately for the chair by the fire.

Chapter 16

It wasn't until Alvin had sprawled out his large body in her chair and then placed the orchid on the table that Ellie noted the flower. "Where on earth did you find an orchid in these parts?"

Alvin glanced first at the flower, then her. "Irma."

Ah, Irma. No further explanation was needed. "And why would she give you an orchid?"

Adopting his usual pose, he leaned forward, elbows resting on his thick thighs. "She told me a story about how some flowers are self-contained and have all they need to survive without mates."

Confused, Ellie picked up the flower and brought it to her nose. There was no scent forthcoming. She put it back. "And her point was… "

"Her point was that everything depends on something else to be complete." She thought his ruddy complexion pinked a bit. "The orchid can't reproduce without another orchid."

She shook her head. Sometimes, although the explanation became clear after a lot of thought, Irma's comparisons often left her floundering for an interpretation. This was one of those times. And most times, Alvin's explanations left her even more confused. She knew he was making a point, but it totally eluded her. "I'm afraid I'm missing something."

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Then he picked up the orchid and handed it to her. "I've been alone for a long time." When she would have spoken, he held up his hand to stop her. "I know. You don't have to say it. It was of my own choosing. I made that choice because I believed that I didn't have the right to inflict my problems on anyone else. As long as I felt guilty for not having been there to save Alice, I couldn't give myself or… my heart to anyone else."

She wanted to tell him that she didn't believe that he could have done anything to save his wife. That she'd never believed that. "Alvin—"

"Please, let me finish before I lose my nerve." He smiled at her, and she felt a bit better about what was to come. "Ever since you came to Renaissance, I've… well, I've been aware of you. As a woman, I mean. In the last few months, it's become more than just awareness." He swallowed hard, and his color deepened. "Damn. I haven't done this in a long time."

Ellie was finding it quite amusing that a big man like Alvin was finding it so difficult to express his feelings. At the same time, it finally occurred to her what he was trying to say. Her heartbeat sped up. It seemed as if she had waited her entire lifetime to hear Alvin say he loved her, and she was not about to let him wiggle out of it now.

She rose and went to sit on the arm of his chair "Alvin, just say what's on your mind."

He looked up at her, and then took her hand. He covered it with his other hand and, sandwiched between his bearlike paws, her little hand disappeared.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you, Ellie. I have for a long time."

Her heart was so full she thought it would burst. Leaning forward, she brushed his lips with hers. "I love you, too," she whispered against his ear.

With one swift movement, he scooped her off the arm of the chair and into his big lap. Tenderly, he cradled her against his chest.

Alvin buried his face in her hair, satisfying himself about something he'd thought of for a very long time. Yes, her hair did smell like wildflowers. He inhaled deeply and kissed the top of her head.

She shifted her position, leaned away, and linked her fingers behind his neck. Her blue-eyed gaze burned into his. The lower part of his torso stirred. Something it hadn't done in a very long time. He could feel heat spreading through him. It seared its way upward until he felt like his entire body was on fire.

He was sure she could feel his arousal against her soft bottom cheeks, but he didn't care. He wanted her as he'd only wanted one other woman in his life. But he held himself back. Ellie was so small, so fragile. He feared injuring her.

"Ellie, I—"

She laid her fingers over his mouth to stop the words, and then replaced them with her lips. Slanting her mouth over his, she pried his lips apart. He felt her silky, smooth tongue slip inside.

Desire swamped him. He was drowning in the pent-up passion of months of wanting. He was lost. He pulled her to him and feasted on her mouth like a man who hadn't eaten in years. Ellie's mouth was warm and moist, and his brain immediately went to wondering about other parts of her body.

Was she as warm and smooth there, too? Would she grip him in a glove of velvet and test his power to last until the end? Would she moan his name in the throes of passion? Would she—

Sanity seeped in, and he forced her from him. "No. No. We can't do this."

"Why not?" Ellie searched his eyes for an answer. "Don't you find me desirable?"

The blue in her eyes had grown languid with the same wanting burning through him. The sight made him want to throw caution to the wind, and he pulled her back as if to continue where they'd left off.

When he didn't answer, the desire slowly faded from her eyes. Her white teeth tortured her kiss-swollen, trembling bottom lip.

With the pad of his thumb, he pulled it free. "Not desirable?" He smiled and tucked a long strand of golden hair behind her ear. "If you were any more desirable, I'd have been lost a long time ago. God knows, I want to make love to you more than I want my next breath."

She frowned. "Then what's stopping you?"

He kissed the tip of her nose. "You're stopping me. You're so… delicate, and you've probably never—I'm—" He swallowed. Next thing he knew, he'd be asking to meet her after study hall in the broom closet. "I might hurt you."

Her eyes softened. She stroked his cheek with her fingers. "Yes, I'm a virgin," she said frankly. "You would be my first man. And yes, it probably will hurt." She took his face between her hands. "But if you don't make love with me, that will hurt me much more."

Sincerity and longing shone from her sparkling blue eyes. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Her tongue slid over her lips, leaving them moist and very tempting. Alvin felt a tug from somewhere behind his navel. She smiled. "I'm very sure."

Alvin hesitated for a scant moment before rising to his feet, cradling her in his arms, and then striding toward the back of the cottage.

As though he was handling fine china, he placed her on the bed. Straightening, he removed his shirt, then started to unbuckle his belt, but stopped.

"What's wrong now?"

He glanced down at the front of his trousers. He was a big man in more ways than one. Fear as to what she would think when she saw his nude body in a complete state of arousal flooded through him.

He sank to the side of the bed and took her hand. "I don't want to frighten you."

She took his hand and kissed his palm. "You could never frighten me. For all your size, you're one of the gentlest men I know."

Touched beyond words, Alvin kissed her gently. "I love you."

Ellie smiled mischievously. "Prove it."

Standing, he finished removing his clothes and stood silently before her, waiting for her judgment. Her eyes grew wide, but with appreciation, not fear. "You are magnificent."

Her whispered words sent relief rushing through him, followed quickly by renewed passion.

Holding his gaze with the heat of her own, Ellie sat up and pulled her blouse over her head. Alvin gasped. Her breasts lay naked before him. Their creamy white flesh and rosy pink tips made his engorged manhood throb.

Continuing to hold his gaze, she slipped free of her skirt and panties. In what seemed like seconds, she lay naked beneath his heated gaze. "My God," he breathed.

Lying back against the pillows, she held out her arms to him. Without thinking, Alvin slid onto the bed and pulled her close to him. The sensation of her naked flesh on his, her little breasts pressing into his chest, her legs entwined with his, and the heat of her thighs burning into his almost did him in, but he hung on to his control.

Breath rasped from him when he felt her hand close around him. His control slipped dangerously when her hand began to move. As much as he wanted her to continue, he knew he couldn't contain himself. Grasping her wrist, he brought her fingers to his lips. Without words, she seemed to understand.

Ellie took his hand and guided it to her breast. "Then you touch me," she pleaded, her voice hoarse. "Please, touch me."

He closed his hand over her. The small breast disappeared inside his palm. But the heat burned into him like a branding iron. Slowly and methodically he kneaded her flesh, glorying in the feel of the tip hardening against his palm.

Life flowed through Alvin, acute and strong. This gift Ellie had given him was more precious than anything he would or had ever received.

Carefully, he slipped over her. With his fingers he prepared her. She moaned and twisted beneath him. When he thought she was ready, he entered her.

Expecting unbearable pain, Ellie stiffened against it, but when it came, it was nothing near what she'd thought it would be. It hurt, but she almost welcomed it. Now she was Alvin's, as she'd wanted to be for so very long. His. Completely his. As he was hers.

Very slowly and, she was sure, after waiting for her to get accustomed to his size, he began to move. Never in her life had she ever experienced such ecstasy. Her entire body burned with an overwhelming, pleasurable heat that left her breathless. She strained to get closer, to get more, to give herself so totally that he would never leave her.

Inside, a pressure started to build, making her strain to release it. Little by little it increased until it was so strong she thought she'd die of the need to set it free.

Alvin buried his face in her neck, and she clawed at his back. More pressure. More need.

"Are you ready?" he asked against her lips.

Unable to verbalize her need, she nodded.

Moments later she felt as though she'd been lifted into the heavens and held there long enough to see the brilliance of the glittering stars, then she was eased slowly and gently back to earth.

***

When they could catch their breath, Alvin cuddled Ellie's body against his. Their sweat-slick bodies glistened in the silvery moonlight spilling across the bed. Their heavy breathing filled the silence of the darkened room. Outside, crickets chirped happily as though echoing the couple's elation.