Miranda's Mount (32 page)

Reggie shook his head. ‘Come to think of it, no. Funny thing, I thought she’d be up there with you but I haven’t seen her for a couple of hours.’

‘Thanks,’ said Jago, meaning the opposite. He strode off down the aisle, managed to get out of the door and ran over to his mother, leaning on her stick by the wall.

‘I have to find Miranda. Have you seen her?’

‘No. Jago, wait!’ She clamped her fingers around his arm. ‘I was at the back watching you. Why did you change your mind?’ she asked, as people flowed out from the hall, laughing and joking.

‘
Dum spiro spero
. While I breathe, I hope. The St Merryns don’t give up.’

She smiled at him and he felt like a little boy again, offering her a starfish he’d found in the bay.

‘Well done. I carried on hoping too that you would change your mind and realise that you belong here but is there another reason for you to stay besides living up to the family motto?’

‘I’ve asked myself that. I’ve been unhappy for a long time. Yesterday I finally realised that casting off this burden is not the way. You can’t just sell something that’s ingrained in your bones as this place is. It’s not that simple. I know. I can see a future for me now. Here more than anywhere.’

She kissed him on the cheek. ‘I’m very proud of you, darling, but you do like taking things to the wire. I thought I was going to have a heart attack in there and you must have been responsible for more than a few grey hairs among the staff.’

‘I’ve been stupid. Unforgivably stupid.’

‘Not stupid. Just in the dark for a while.’

‘Call
it what you want but I’ll make up for it now. This place is in my blood. I admit it. I couldn’t let it go, not to some faceless corporation with no interest in it, no passion for it beyond profit. I always knew that was wrong, but I kidded myself I didn’t care. It’s more than a place, it’s a living thing. I don’t want to surrender it, I want to fight for it, and even if it kills me I want to carry it on.’

Realising what he’d said, he thought of Rhianna and asked her to forgive him one final time, for waiting to do the things he had left undone and for keeping the people he cared about waiting and suffering so long now.

‘Have you phoned Southcastle to tell them?’ asked Lady St Merryn.

He gave a rueful smile. ‘Oh yes. I spoke to Jumeau just before I came up here.’

‘And?’

‘He told me I’d regret my decision for the rest of my life.’

His mother sighed. ‘That sounds rather ominous. And very predictable.’

‘I think he may try to sue me but, to be honest, I don’t give a toss.’

She patted his arm. ‘I can’t stand the man myself. He reminds me of your father. I should have told you how I felt before but I didn’t want to add to the pressure you were under. I simply hoped you would come to your own decision. I’ll support you. I’ll stay if you want me to.’

‘No, Mother. You must go and do what you have to. I haven’t signed anything yet and I have some very good lawyers. If Southcastle do try to sue, I’m prepared for the consequences.’

She squeezed his
arm, her grip surprising him with its strength.

‘Have to go,’ he said gruffly, before he lost his composure again. ‘I have to find Miranda. I offered to go away with her, it wasn’t enough, and she knew me better than I know myself. She knew what I needed, more than I did. Now she thinks I’ve sold. I tried to find her before the meeting and I thought she’d be here but now I think she may have left.’

He took the steps to the harbour two at a time and reached Miranda’s cottage in double quick time. As he’d suspected, it was empty so he ran to the security office. Inside, Ronnie was wiping her nose with a tissue.

‘Summer cold,’ she said roughly as he walked in then glared at him.

He smiled. ‘You all knew I planned to sell, didn’t you?’

‘We’d guessed.’

‘So Miranda didn’t say anything?’

‘Not in so many words but I knew she knew. We’re in security, you idiot. We have eyes and ears and Miranda is just about the worst liar I’ve ever come across. I could have forced her to tell me what was going on, but I care too much for her to put her on the spot like that. She’s gone through a lot to keep your secret, you know.’

He groaned. ‘I’m sorry. I put her in an impossible position. I was wrong and I regret it. I will always regret doing this to all the people who live here.’

‘I suppose you
were entitled to do it,’ said Ronnie, ‘even if it was the worst thing you’d ever done, but you might have guessed we’d all find out. This is a tiny community, close-knit doesn’t even describe it. What did you expect?’

‘I was naive. Don’t forget I’m actually the new boy here, Ronnie.’

She folded her arms and he knew exactly why his mother had appointed her head of security. ‘You’ll learn. You know, I never thought I’d say this but I’m proud of you.’

‘Yeah. Yeah.’

‘But if you ever think of selling it again, the natives will turn very nasty indeed.’

He laughed dutifully then shook his head, remembering that while he’d started to rebuild one important foundation of his life, the other had disintegrated. ‘Where the hell is Miranda?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You must do!’ He shoved both hands through his hair. Christ, he was going to burst with frustration.

‘Just sit down,’ she said.

He wanted to scream. If Ronnie didn’t know where Miranda had gone, who would? But Ronnie must know and Ronnie wasn’t telling him. ‘I won’t sit down. Please tell me where she is.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Can’t or won’t?’

‘I don’t
know
where she’s gone. I haven’t seen her since afternoon. I expected her to be in the Hall tonight. In fact I came down here to phone her and see where she was.’

Jago was in despair. ‘I’ve been into her cottage, she never locks the door and she’s not there. The place is a bit of a mess. The wardrobe door had been left open, shoes lay on the carpet, papers scattered about.’

Ronnie’s pocket beeped and she pulled her phone out. ‘It’s a text from her.’

‘Tell me!’

She scanned it and heaved
a sigh of relief. ‘Phew.’

He snatched the phone and read the message: ‘Ronnie. I’m OK. Need some space.’

‘Where is she?’

Ronnie’s face twisted in indecision. Jago went for broke. ‘I love her, Ronnie.’

‘Love? Miranda?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, bugger me. I missed that one. I thought she had a bit of a crush on you and I wound her up about it, but as for the Big “L”. If I’d known how serious it was, I’d have warned her what a bastard you are. Does she feel the same way about you?’

Jago dragged his hand over his mouth in despair. ‘I don’t know. I hope she does. I need to see her right now and tell her everything.’

‘If I knew, I’d tell you but I really don’t.’ She hesitated and the doubt in her voice scared him. ‘You could try to find out from the mobile company, but I don’t think you want to do that, do you? She isn’t in danger, is she?’

‘No. Not danger but I must find her. Are you sure you’ve no idea at all where she might have been headed? Did she take the Land Rover?’

‘I’m not sure, but we could check if it’s gone.’

It took barely a few minutes to discover that the Land Rover was gone. In fact, Fred had seen Miranda drive off in it a few hours before at low tide. Pathetically grateful for some concrete information, Jago shook Fred’s hand and barely escaped without Fred tugging his forelock.

Jago
paced about the staff car park, ranting. ‘Now we know she’s left the island, we need to find out where.’

Ronnie shook her head at him. ‘No shit, Sherlock.’

‘Ronnie, you may be Miranda’s best mate but I also may have to kill you. Did Miranda say anything at all that might be a clue to where she’s gone?’

Ronnie rubbed her mouth thoughtfully. ‘Well. There was one funny thing.’

He tried to avoid shouting in frustration. ‘What?’

‘Miranda did take a phone call this afternoon from a woman called Teresa Taylor. She seemed a bit upset afterwards but I didn’t want to pester her about it. I wonder if that has something to do with where she’s gone? It must be serious if she missed the meeting tonight.’

‘Teresa Taylor?’ It didn’t ring a bell with him. ‘Was she local?’

‘No. Not as far as I could tell. In fact, if anything, I’d say she sounded like she was from my neck of the woods in Essex, but she asked for Miranda Taylor. I thought I’d misheard or she’d made a mistake, because she changed it and asked for Miranda Marshall. I know this sounds crazy, but I got the feeling she and Miranda knew each other very well.’

Jago caught his breath. ‘It was her mother.’

Ronnie frowned. ‘But I thought they were estranged.’

‘They are. They were. She’s never had a father and she ran away from her mother and stepfather when she was a teenager.’

‘And
you know all this and she never told me?’ Ronnie looked terribly hurt.

‘Don’t be too hard on her. She had good reason. She needs to tell you herself but first I need to find her. Is there anywhere you can think of?’

‘There was a place she mentioned. A caravan site that her gran used to take her to. She talks a lot about her grandma.’

‘Where is this site?’

‘I don’t know, but the way she described it sounded like it was near Land’s End. She spoke about some pink granite cliffs and an old engine house overlooking the bay. There is a small caravan park tucked away down there.’

‘The site at the far end of the bay above the Song of the Sea rocks?’

‘Yes. That’s the one.’

‘I know it,’ said Jago. ‘Can I take your car?’

‘Sure, but …’ Ronnie’s face was pale. ‘If she’s upset about you selling the Mount and has decided to meet up with her mother after all these years, you don’t think she’d do anything … stupid, do you?’

Jago snatched up Ronnie’s car keys. ‘Not in the way you’re thinking.’

But as for leaving him and never coming back, Jago was very much afraid that that was exactly what Miranda had done.

Miranda walked
across the beach. The woman she’d known as her mother pulled her cigarette from her mouth and ground it under her boot into the sand. Miranda squashed down a gasp of shock. Her mum could only be described as haggard, much thinner than she’d remembered and with a face that seemed to have fallen in on itself.

Teresa Taylor surveyed her from head to toe. ‘If I hadn’t seen you on the telly I wouldn’t have recognised you,’ she said. ‘You’re so thin.’

Miranda was too shocked to say her mother looked far worse. ‘It’s running up and down the steps at the castle all day.’

‘You were a chubby teenager and I was always on at you to lose a bit of weight, but now I think you’d do better with a bit of flesh on you.’

Miranda bit back a retort. So was this it? After fourteen years? The same critical tone of voice, the same pointless conversations? Why had she come here? Why had she sacrificed supporting Jago and her friends to see this woman?

‘You said you needed me, Mum,’ she snapped.

That
was why. That word.
Need
. Her mother had said she needed her when she’d called the office a few hours before Jago’s meeting. Miranda could never recall her mum using ‘need’ before and the glow of hope it had started had drawn her here like a moth to a flame. Miranda glanced at her mum’s ring finger where a gold band glinted in the evening sun. ‘You got married,’ she said as if that was more shocking than her mum’s appearance.

Teresa held out her hand to show the ring. ‘Yeah, a couple of years ago. He’s called Kev and he’s a security guard in Exeter.’

Exeter? So her mother hadn’t been so very far away from the Mount after all; but it may as well have been the moon. Miranda wanted to ask if she had any more children, who would be her half-brothers and sisters – her family.

Teresa must have read the question in her face. ‘Kev’s got two kids of his own but they’re grown up too. I didn’t want any more. Not that you … well, you know I’m not the maternal type, eh?’

Miranda shrugged. She felt like a sullen teenager again, unable to frame with words all the hurt and loss that had been and, still was, bottled up inside her.

‘What do you want, Mum?’

Teresa’s expression was pained, seeming genuinely hurt. ‘Why should I want something? I just thought maybe I could come and see you sometimes. Maybe bring Kev and the kids? You wouldn’t mind that, would you, after all this time?’

Would she
mind? Miranda’s emotions were jumbled like pieces of a jigsaw thrown on the floor, impossible to put together into a meaningful whole. Not yet, maybe not ever? She felt fear, anxiety, hope, expectation and disappointment in her mother and her own madness in coming here to this place. The hope was the most confusing, the creeping sense that after all this time her mother really wanted to take an interest in her. The possibility that they might be able to move forwards again was so alluring and that made it scary and dangerous. What if all those hopes crashed down on her? What if they both ended up running away again?

‘I know I was never good enough for you, Miranda.’

‘That’s ridiculous, Mum!’ Yet it might be true, thought Miranda, so what kind of person did that make her?

‘Maybe it is mad, but if you knew how I met your father, you might understand. He was clever you know, a lecturer at the local college. Older than me, good-looking –’ she smiled ruefully ‘– he was lovely, with a gorgeous voice. He chatted me up when I was working in a pub and I was impressed and flattered that he’d taken an interest. He seemed … sophisticated. That’s the word. What a bloody joke that was. When he found out about you, he wanted me to have an abortion and, yeah, it would have been the sensible thing to do but I didn’t want one, even though he said he’d give me the money.’

Miranda wanted to howl with shock.

‘I wanted you and when he found out I was going ahead, he left. Just pissed off to some other university in the States and I was on my own, apart from your gran, of course. She stood by me, typical of her.’ Teresa sounded almost disappointed as if she was comparing herself to her own mother. ‘After you were born, I was lonely, I needed someone, looked for someone else but they all turned out to be disappointments too, as you kept reminding me.’