Miriam's Quilt (16 page)

A deep blue fabric the color of a cold December lake sat underneath Laura’s green. “Oh, this would make a beautiful quilt,” Miriam said.

“That is the leftover fabric from Seth’s favorite blanket. Mamm made it for him when he was born. She would wrap him in it and read him stories. Even when he stopped carrying it around, he slept with it. By the time he was ten, the thing was in tatters. Mamm offered to make him a new one, but he told her he was too old for such things. He never got rid of it, though. He kept it folded at the foot of his bed until Ellie burned it.”

“She burned it?”

“Three days after she moved in. Snatched it from his bed and threw it into the cookstove. She said she refused to keep her children in rags. But that one was not her fault. She couldn’t have known how important it was to him.

“Seth was twenty years old, but the loss of that blanket really shook him. For over an hour, he stared at the cookstove as if wishing might bring his blanket back. That was the first night he slept in his stable. It was almost like the blanket was the last thing holding him to our family. He told me once that it smelled like lilacs, Mamm’s favorite flower, and that he wouldn’t have any way to remember her once it was lost.”

A heavy sadness for Seth’s loss pressed on Miriam’s shoulders. She pictured Seth staring into the fire that devoured his blanket and his memories. She felt as if her heart might break.

Miriam unfolded the material and spread it on the bed on top of Laura’s. In an instant, she saw a quilt in her head. “Would he think me silly if I made him a quilt with this fabric?”

“Why would he think it silly? He needs a proper covering for that cot he sleeps on at the stable.”

“Does he sleep there every night?”

“Nae,” Laura said, “only if he gets extra busy. He mostly sleeps here at home so he can keep an eye on Ellie.”

“He has been so kind to me. A quilt is a suitable thank-you gift… but maybe not for a man.”

“If you make it, he’ll love it. Miriam Bontrager’s quilts are famous in Apple Lake.”

“Now you are talking nonsense.”

“You are welcome to any of my mamm’s fabric, or do you only want the blue?”

“What else did she have?”

“What colors do you want?”

“Blues and greens, perhaps a yellow. I think I will make a sampler quilt.”

Laura opened all three boxes and pulled out fold after fold of fabric. She held up a forest green speckled with small white flowers. “Our kitchen curtains were made out of this.”

Miriam took it from Laura and laid it on top of the blue. She thought of the green-and-blue fabric that Ephraim had talked her out of at the store. It would tie these fabrics together perfectly. Her heart beat faster. She so loved matching fabrics for a feast of pattern and color. Now that Ephraim was out of her life, nothing brought her more pleasure.

Laura found three more greens, four blues, a white, and a charcoal gray. Miriam laid them on her pile and let her eyes drink in the possibilities.

“These will make the most wonderful quilt ever,” Laura said.

“You are sure he won’t think my making a quilt for him is strange?”

“Of course not.”

Even if he did, he would not be anything but gracious. Seth had such a kind heart. He would never say anything to hurt her feelings. Miriam felt her face grow warm. Except that one time when he’d called her a snob, that is. But she would be forever grateful to him for saying what needed to be said. He was a true friend before they were even friends.

Priscilla climbed up the ladder with a bright purple backpack clutched in her hand. “Look what Seth got Laura to carry her books in at college.”

Miriam took the sturdy backpack from Priscilla. The pattern of the fabric made it look as if Seth had bought Laura a backpack made of purple snakeskin. The heavy fabric and thick stitching showed its quality, but Miriam couldn’t get over how ugly it was.

Laura glanced sheepishly at Miriam. “I’ll stand out on campus, that’s for sure, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Seth is so good to me.”

Miriam was more worried than ever that Seth would not like her quilt. As the hideous backpack showed, he didn’t seem to have any taste at all.

* * * * *

Sighing, Miriam deposited the bags on her bed and sat down next to them. She had bought five fat quarters and the blue-and-green fabric plus batting and a new rotary cutter blade. She tipped the bags upside down and let her treasures tumble onto the bed.

Would Seth like the colors she picked? Ephraim certainly hadn’t. She’d almost gone to the stable this morning to ask Seth’s opinion, just to be sure. She desperately wanted him to like the quilt, but she also wanted it to be a surprise. Lord willing, blue and green were his favorite colors. Either those or snakeskin purple.

Miriam decided to frame each quilt block with the dark blue of Seth’s childhood blanket and put the new green-and-blue from the fabric store on the back. Even if Seth didn’t end up liking it, she could barely contain her enthusiasm. This would be a fine quilt.

She pulled her sewing basket from under the bed and opened it. The blocks for Ephraim’s Nine-Patch lay at the top, finished and ready to assemble. She had taken such care with these, the corners expertly matched, the seams ironed smartly. Today, the painful memories did not reduce her to tears. Perhaps she was numb. Or perhaps the sorrow had been with her so long, she had grown accustomed to it.

Miriam nearly tossed the burgundy-and-tan blocks into the trash. She didn’t need the reminder every time she opened her sewing basket. Instead, she wrapped them in one of the plastic bags from the fabric store and stuffed them into the very bottom of her basket. Throwing all that hard work away would be wasteful. In a few years, when it didn’t hurt so much, she could pull out the blocks and make a quilt for charity.

She pulled graph paper and a pencil from her supplies and began drawing plans for Seth’s quilt, hoping he would love it as much as she would. Five-by-six squares would make a quilt big enough to cover his small bed at the stable. She filled in the grid with images of her favorite quilt block designs. Log Cabin, Flying Geese, Bear’s Paw, Hole-in-the-Barn-Door…but no Nine-Patch. Ephraim’s quilt was a Nine-Patch. She wanted nothing to do with it.

Shading squares with her colored pencils, she was engrossed in her drawing when Susie ambled into the room and sat beside her on the bed.

“Oh, how very pretty,” she said as she examined Miriam’s sketch.

Miriam looked up and flashed her a smile before returning to her work. “I will make one for the baby next. You can pick the colors.”

She didn’t expect the shadow that passed across Susie’s face. “Unless I give him up. There would be no use in making him a quilt if I don’t keep him.”

Miriam set aside her notebook and took Susie’s face in her hands. “Giving him to a gute family doesn’t mean that you love him less. And I will make him a quilt no matter what happens. He will always be your baby, even if he belongs to someone else.”

Familiar fear sprouted on Susie’s face. “I cannot do it, Miriam. I cannot be strong enough.”

Pulling her sister into a tight hug, Miriam responded, “Then keep him. We will love him all the same.”

“And people will whisper behind their hands when we pass by. They will treat him differently because he doesn’t have a proper father. Their rejection will sting, and he will grow up never being able to fit in, always unhappy.”

It was the conversation they knocked about several times a week. It seemed a choice between complete misery and absolute heartache. Miriam hated to see Susie suffer so, would have gladly borne Susie’s pain, but Seth had counseled her to let Susie make the decision, no matter how agonizing. Susie must make her own choices and live with the consequences so that she would not blame Miriam for her unhappiness afterward.

Yost swung open the door without knocking. “Mamm says come to supper.”

Susie rose from the bed, her shoulders slumped and lifeless. Without a word, she left the room and Yost followed.

“Yost, wait,” Miriam said.

Yost popped his head back into the room as a signal that he would be giving Miriam exactly five seconds to say something significant.

“Come in here,” she said.

Yost stepped in reluctantly and plopped himself on Susie’s bed. Had he always worn that near scowl on his face? “What do you want?”

Mustn’t attack, mustn’t accuse.
She tried to decide how to tiptoe around a crouching wildcat. “I saw you yesterday.”

“I saw you yesterday too.” He stood up. “I’m going to supper.”

“You were walking through Seth Lambright’s alfalfa with Jonas Shetler and an Englisch boy.”

Color crept up Yost’s neck and spread across his cheeks. “We were taking a shortcut. Last time I looked, that’s not a crime. Unless Seth Lambright has us arrested for trespassing. He told you some wild story about me and my friends, didn’t he?”

Miriam wasn’t sure what to do with Yost’s sudden anger. She didn’t know how to tiptoe any softer. Why had she said anything?

She stood and tried to put her arms around Yost. He backed away as if she were holding a poisonous snake. “Of course not. Seth cares about you, Yost. He would never want to hurt or—”

“He is such a hypocrite, pretending to be nice and religious, all the while going with Reuben Shetler’s wife. Jonas’s dat won’t stand for it no more. Jonas said so.”

Miriam caught her breath as indignation smothered her. Had Yost any idea of the seriousness of such an accusation? She stopped with the tiptoeing and put her foot down. “What is this ridiculousness belching out of your mouth, Yost Bontrager? Such stories are pure evil. You will hurt more people than you know with that talk. Shame on you!”

“What? You never seen Seth and Mary together? You never seen her at his stable?”

Miriam tried to keep her expression unchanged. So Seth and Mary had talked together once or twice. That didn’t mean anything. Seth would never…

“You think that means anything? I saw you with an Englischer yesterday, Yost. Does that mean you are selling drugs again?”

Yost sneered and actually kicked the door shut. “You always think the worst of me. I don’t know why I even try. You all hate me.”

Miriam took several deep breaths. The anger ebbed as quickly as it had come. Seth said Yost felt unlovable and consequently pushed people away. She had let him push her away today. How could she have been so reckless as to lose her temper? Any good feelings Yost might have felt for her had vanished. She had lost his trust once again. If only Seth were here. Seth would know the right words to say to make it better.

Not even a butterscotch pie or an apple-pudding cake could soothe Yost’s anger.

She immediately backed away from him and laced her fingers together. “I am sorry. My tongue ran ahead of my thoughts. I did not mean it.”

Yost’s face softened before the scowl masked his features once again. He grabbed the knob and threw open the door. “You should take a good, hard look at Seth before accusing me of wrongdoing. If he knows what’s good for him, he will leave Mary Shetler alone.”

As of four weeks ago, Miriam hated Sundays—specifically Sundays when services were held.

Dat put a gentle hand on Miriam’s elbow. “It will be all right. The first time will soon be over.”

Miriam, Yost, and Susie, plus Mamm and Dat and the three little boys, piled out of their long buggy for gmay at the Herschbergers’. Yost brought with him a jar of pickles, and Miriam carried two loaves of bread for dinner after service.

Miriam wore her cheery mint-green dress but the bright color could not lift her spirits, which were so low they were scraping the ground. She dreaded the sight of Ephraim Neuenschwander. She hadn’t seen him since the fateful gathering at the Wengerds’. At the last gmay, his family had been visiting another district. No such blessing this week. Would she keep her composure when she laid eyes on him? What would she say?

Mamm glanced at Miriam and pressed her lips into a hard line. Ephraim’s rejection had taken Mamm and Dat completely by surprise. Mamm’s eyes had grown wide and Dat considered riding to Ephraim’s house to plead his daughter’s case. After sharing many tears, they decided they couldn’t do anything but comfort each other and try to forgive Ephraim for his blindness.

Miriam clasped her hands together and trembled as she followed her family down the lane and up to the house.

The first time will soon be over.

As if waiting for her arrival, Ephraim stood on the sidewalk, smiling widely and greeting newcomers. Miriam caught her breath. He was as handsome as ever with that arrogant grin and tousle of unruly yellow hair.

His smile faltered when he saw her, but he pasted it back into place and grabbed her dat’s hand as if searching for anything to divert his attention so he didn’t have to look at her.

“John, you have come,” he said.
Nothing like “I am happy to see you,” or “I am glad you and your family are here.” That wouldn’t be completely truthful, would it?

Dat shook hands vigorously, probably hoping by sheer willpower to make Ephraim give Miriam his notice. He actually pulled Ephraim in Miriam’s direction before he released Ephraim’s hand.

Ephraim was obliged to acknowledge Miriam or appear very rude indeed for ignoring her. His eyes flashed with irritation. Miriam knew how little he liked being forced into anything. His reaction made every space in her chest ache.

He tilted his head as if to study her more closely. “You are wearing the peacock dress.”

It knocked the wind right out of her.

Then he pretended to see someone very interesting on the other side of the yard and quickly marched away.

Smoothing an imaginary crease in her sleeve, Miriam looked around her to see if anyone had heard. She felt as small as a pill bug and wished she could roll herself into a little ball and hide from curious eyes. She glanced to the corner of the house, where Sarah Schwartz stood sufficiently humble in a navy-blue dress. Even Laura Lambright wore deep purple. Had she herself fallen so far?

Seth seemed to have a special talent for recognizing her distress. He appeared at her side from out of nowhere and gave her a warm smile, though deep concern smoldered in his eyes. “I hope you do not think me improper for saying so, but you look very pretty today.”

Miriam merely nodded, knowing that if she tried to speak she would make a fool of herself in front of Ephraim and the entire district.

Seth inclined his head toward the bishop’s wife. “Look.”

Miriam turned. Barbara Schwartz wore a blue dress the color of the sky at noonday.

Seth held his gaze on Miriam until she looked into his eyes. “That is a beautiful color of dress she has on. Brighter than yours. No one would dare say the bishop’s wife wears anything improper.”

Miriam took a deep breath, nodded again, and squared her shoulders.

The corners of his lips curved up, and he patted her hand. “Gute. Will you sit by Laura? She needs a friend.”

Miriam nodded. She hooked an arm around Susie and led her to stand by Laura.

As she walked away, she realized she hadn’t said a word to Seth— not even a word of thanks for talking her heart off the ground. But she knew he had not been offended. He was a true friend.

* * * * *

“Do you think we will have enough food?” Mamm said.

Enough food? Miriam prayed they would not be overflowing with leftovers. She had assured Laura vigorously that everyone would be eager to come to her quilting circle. But as Tuesday approached, Miriam began to have her doubts. She had seen Ada Weaver and her sister, Sarah Schwartz, at the bulk food store and invited them to come and quilt. Ada told Miriam she and Sarah were dreadfully busy this time of year and couldn’t possibly spare the time.

Miriam had not expected more of them. But would the others come? Cousins Rebecca and Kate? Mary Shetler and Edna Miller? Would they see the circle as a chance to show charity or to make an unspoken statement about their feelings for Laura? Perhaps people would stay away because Susie would be there.

If the old Miriam had been invited to a quilting circle for Laura Lambright, she would have found a convenient excuse not to be there. After all, Laura had rejected the Ordnung and the church. Miriam would have considered Laura worldly and vain and would have made it a point to have nothing to do with her. Laura was not the sort of person the old Miriam would have wanted her name linked with.

Recognizing the change in her own attitude filled Miriam with astonishment. She was a new person, less judgmental, more accepting. And although she had lost Ephraim because of it, Miriam could not for a minute regret the person she left behind. She liked herself better these days.

Mamm and Susie would come, of course. Mamm had assured Miriam that helping Laura Lambright with a quilt was the charitable thing to do. “Seth cares for your foal,” she’d said. “It is kind of you to take an interest in his sister.”

Ellie would be there, but not to quilt. Quilting wreaked havoc on her fingernails, she had told Miriam.

So with at least five people at the quilting circle, it would not seem completely empty, and perhaps Laura would not recognize that she had been slighted. Miriam prayed hard that morning that, Lord willing, there would be a crowd. She would not for the world want Laura’s feelings hurt.

They knocked on the Lambrights’ door with Miriam toting a box of needles and tacks, thimbles, and thread. Susie held the plate of cold meats for dinner, and Mamm carried a large bowl of frog-eye salad— enough for twenty people.

As expected, Pookie barked right on cue. Laura threw open the door, her exuberant smile tainted by the uneasiness in her eyes.

They will come, Laura. Don’t worry about a thing. Everyone will come. I hope.

From her seat at the kitchen table Ellie scolded Pookie, and the dog stopped mid-bark and ran away. Miriam craned her neck to see if she could catch a glimpse of Seth. No such luck. He had probably removed himself as far as possible from the prospect of a quilting bee.

Laura took the bowl from Mamm. “Thank you for coming. You are so kind.”

Priscilla ran from the kitchen to her familiar place in Miriam’s arms.

“Priscilla! Don’t stomp your feet in the house,” Ellie yelled.

Miriam flinched at Ellie’s display of temper.

Priscilla tightened her arms around Miriam’s neck. “Sorry, Mamm.”

“Be more considerate next time.”

As if nothing were amiss, Priscilla gave Miriam an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek. “I am so excited. Did you see Laura’s quilt?”

Miriam squeezed Priscilla tightly. “Are the frames outside?”

Laura nodded, almost breathless. “Jah, set up like you said. Come through the kitchen.”

Ellie, in bright yellow rubber gloves, sat at the table with an old toothbrush in her hand. “We needed one more good scrub before the quilting circle.” She glanced at Susie’s shoes as she shuffled to the back door. “Will people be walking in and out all day, do you think?”

The corners of Laura’s mouth sagged. “Just a few people, Mamm.”

Laura had set up her mother’s old quilting frames beneath a tall maple in the backyard. Ten folding chairs stood like sentinels in a circle around the frames. Laura’s quilt top and bottom and the batting sat patiently on one of the chairs.

“Okay, let’s get moving,” Mamm said. “The others will be here soon.”

The others. Yes, Lord willing
.

Miriam and her mamm had set up so many quilts over the years, the process was almost like a dance. They folded the bottom fabric to find the center of each side then laid it facedown on the frames. Scilla raced from person to person, handing out tacks as if she were playing Button, Button. Susie and Laura quickly tacked the centers while Miriam and Mamm lightly tugged the fabric out toward the corners. When the corners were secure, they pressed a few more tacks into each side, pulling gently to stretch the bottom nice and smooth.

The fluffy polyester batting came next. Miriam let Scilla pull it from the package. The little girl giggled when it seemed to grow twice its size once free from the plastic bag. “It’s like popcorn,” she said. She bounced it in her arms and handed it to Miriam.

Once they unfolded the batting, fitted it to the bottom, and trimmed it, the top went on easily. They again started at the centers, adjusting the corners and securing the clamps a final time. Mamm and Susie oohed and aahed at the beautiful colors and striking pattern. Priscilla danced around the frames, waving her hands in the air and shouting at the top of her lungs, “It is the most beautifulest quilt in the world! Look at me, I am Lady Dancing!”

Laura beamed happily, but Miriam noticed her hands shaking slightly. They were both nervous wrecks.

Mamm pulled a chair up to the quilt and started threading needles. She rested her glasses on the end of her nose and looked over the rims. “How do you want it quilted, Laura? Around the edge of each square? Or we could stitch a star in the middle of each one. That would be cute.”

“Oh my,” said Laura, sinking into a chair as if the entire quilt were a lost cause. “I do not know. What shall we do, Miriam?”

“You can do it like my quilt,” Scilla said. “It was for Lady Dancing. I stitched around the squares.”

“Cum, Priscilla,” Susie said, grinning at the little girl’s exuberance, “I will show you how to start.”

“I know how to start. I made a quilt that I gave to Miriam.”

“I know you did,” Susie said. “It is on Miriam’s bed. Lady Dancing is sleeping under it.”

Priscilla smiled. “Jah. I know.”

Miriam studied the quilt top. “What would you like, Laura? I thought a line two inches on the inside of the edges would be nice. And simple. But stars would be darling. We would have to draw them in.”

“Let’s do lines two inches in,” Laura said. “I think even I can manage that.”

Edna Miller and her sister Naomi came around the side of the house just then. Edna had the spring in her step of a much younger woman, while Naomi plodded stiffly along as if she were marching to her own grave.

Miriam’s relief was palpable. If anyone would make the effort to come, it was Edna. Miriam wanted to jump to her feet and throw her arms around the dear woman. She opted for a wide smile. “I am so glad to see you.”

“The note on the door said to walk around the house to the back,” Edna said.

Naomi fanned herself with a handkerchief. “It is a miserable hike. The rocks are nasty on that side of the house.”

Edna planted an affectionate kiss on Laura’s cheek. “Look at you. I ain’t seen hide nor hair of you for going on three years. You are so grown-up, I hardly recognize you. And Priscilla. You are so tall. How old are you now?”

“Six.”

“Six! I had not thought it possible.”

“I am helping with the quilt,” Priscilla said.

“You are? Then you are more grown-up than I thought. Any girl who can quilt is as smart as a tack.”

Naomi headed for the nearest chair.

Edna embraced Miriam. “Oh, my darling girl,” she whispered. “I heard what happened with Ephraim. That poor boy can’t see past the nose on his own face.”

Miriam resisted the urge to cry and let the pain wash through her. “I will be all right.”

“I know you will. Broken hearts mend in time, Lord willing. But Ephraim will come to regret it. I am sorry for it. When you feel extra sad, know that I say a prayer for you every day. I hope it will make you feel better.” Edna pulled away, patted Miriam’s arm, then moved a chair close to the quilt. “Cum, Naomi. Sit here and I will be next to you.”

Naomi groaned and made a great show of rising from the seat she had occupied for less than a minute. “Why can’t you leave me be, Eddy?”

Edna smiled and winked at Laura. “Naomi is the fastest quilter I know. We’d never finish this quilt today without her.”

Naomi sat in her new chair and held out her hand. “Well, hand me a needle, then. And a good, small thimble. I don’t like when it slips off my fingers.”

Next, cousins Kate, Linda, and Rebecca came around back with much more enthusiasm than Naomi had. Linda and Rebecca carried two folding chairs each, and Kate balanced a chocolate sheet cake on top of a bowl of potato salad.

“Extra chairs,” said Kate. “In case we need them.”

The chairs were nice, but Miriam rejoiced over the extra people. Considering how sparse she thought the attendance might be, she could be perfectly content with the size of their little group.

Mary Shetler arrived with Deborah Yoder and Deborah’s two married daughters. Laura’s smile got wider with each new guest. This was a true quilting circle now.

Seeing Mary, Miriam couldn’t help but recall her conversation with Yost when he’d said that something was amiss between Seth and Mary. She had seen Mary at the stable the first day she went to visit the foals, and Mary’s presence had not felt quite right then. Miriam shook her head to clear out such dark thoughts. This was exactly why she’d chastised Yost. There was no end to the troubles started by a rumor like that.

Edna had spoken the honest truth. Naomi was a speedy quilter— partly because she refused to carry on a conversation with anyone. Naomi was as sour as a green cherry, but Edna didn’t cater to her moods, so no one else did either.