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Authors: Fenella J Miller

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There was no further opportunity
for private conversation as Charles and Darcy were obliged to leave first when
their carriage arrived before the others. No sooner had they departed than her
mother smiled across at her.

‘Oh, my dear Jane, I never saw you
looking in greater beauty. Mrs Long said so to me when I asked her whether you
did or not. What do you think she said besides? “
Ah! Mrs Bennet, we shall
have Jane at Netherfield at last”

Later in their apartment, Jane
turned to her sister with a degree of satisfaction. ‘It has been a very
agreeable day, the party seemed so well selected, so suitable one with the
other. I hope we may often meet again.’ Her sister smiled knowingly. ‘Lizzy,
you must not do that. You must not suspect me. It mortifies me. I assure you
that I have now learned to enjoy his conversation as an agreeable and sensible
young man without having a wish beyond it. I am perfectly satisfied from what
his manners now are, that he never had any design of engaging my affection. It
is only that he is blessed with greater sweetness of address, and a stronger
desire of generally pleasing than any other man.’

‘You are very cruel, you will not
let me smile, and are provoking me to it every moment.’

‘How hard it is in some cases to be
believed!’

‘And how impossible in others!’

‘But why should you wish to
persuade me that I feel more than I acknowledge?’

‘That is a question which I hardly
know how to answer. We all love to instruct, though we can teach only what is
not worth knowing. Forgive me; and if you persist in indifference, do not make
me
your confidante.’

 
* * * *

Charles bounded out of bed
believing his life was about to change for the better. He had not mistaken
Jane’s affection, she had responded with such enthusiasm to his every word, he
was almost certain she loved him.

Downstairs he headed for the
breakfast room for the first time in many months actually looking forward to
his meal. The room was empty, Darcy not yet come down. There was enough food
laid out on the sideboard to feed ten people but he knew it would not go to
waste. What he and Darcy did not consume would feed his staff.

He had piled ham, scrambled eggs,
grilled mushrooms and tomatoes upon his plate when the door opened and his
friend walked in. He turned to greet him cheerily and was surprised how serious
he looked.

‘I intend to return to London,
Bingley. I have business to attend to, but there is something I must tell you
before I leave.’

‘You look so grave, Darcy, I do
hope it is not bad news.’

‘I have a confession to make, my
friend, something I should have told you long ago. Do you remember that it was
my persuasion that led you to think that Jane Bennet did not hold you in the
same esteem as you held her?’

‘Indeed, I do. Have you now come to
a different conclusion?’

‘I am ashamed to admit, that I
have. My interference in your affairs was both absurd and impertinent.’

‘What are you telling me? Those are
strong words indeed. You had no right to interfere in my concerns. I would not
dream of doing so in yours.’ He slammed down his plate on the table and two
slices of ham shot off on to the floor. He glared at Darcy. ‘I cannot believe
you would deliberately mislead me.’

‘No, at least I do not have that on
my conscience. At the time I honestly believed Miss Bennet did not hold deep
and lasting feelings for you. I am now certain that I was incorrect; and I do
most humbly apologize for causing you both so much unhappiness.’

‘From your expression I gather
there is more you have to tell me. I am waiting.’

Darcy continued to look sombre.
‘You are correct, I have not told you the whole, Bingley. There is more, and
this you will not accept with equanimity, I am sure.’

‘What else did you do to keep us
apart?’

‘I knew that Miss Bennet was in
town for three months last winter, and I purposely kept it from you. I thought
it better; it was none of my business. And I fully understand if you no longer
wish to call me friend.’

Charles could not understand that
Darcy had actually deceived him; that Caroline had done so he could more
readily accept. He turned aside, too angry to trust himself to speak. He strode
away, wishing to be on his own, to digest this unpleasant information. To
think, that Jane had been in town and he had not known! What she must have
thought of him to have ignored her in that way!

He remembered the letter he had
written and knew without doubt that his sister had not posted it. Jane had
never received it, had not known how he felt. What Caroline had done was far
worse, it was done for selfish reasons, out of jealousy. Had Darcy acted out of
regard or pride? Did his dislike of Jane’s relatives mean he could not
contemplate his closest friend becoming part of the Bennet family?

Darcy could go to the devil. He
strode out of the house and ran to the stable shouting for his horse to be
saddled. Once mounted he dug in his heels, his mount reared and took off at
such speed he covered the groom in gravel. He drove the animal faster and
faster until his anger began to dissipate.

After a mile or so he drew rein and
allowed his horse to drop back into a canter. He began to take stock of his
surroundings, to think rationally again. He recalled the most important thing
that Darcy had told him, Jane loved him, had always done so. He could not
imagine how miserable she must have been imagining herself cruelly abandoned.
Poor Jane, it is small wonder she treated him with some reserve when they were
together this time.

‘Time to go back, old fellow, I
must mend fences with Darcy and then get over to Longbourn and speak to Mr
Bennet.’

The horse flicked its ears in
response and seemed as eager to return to Netherfield as he was. There was no
sign of his friend when he returned, the butler told him Darcy had gone out
looking for him. He grinned, he would wait in the library. Shortly afterwards
there came a quiet knock on the door and he was happy to greet his friend
without animosity.

Charles went over and gripped his
hand. ‘It is all water under the bridge, you have told me the very thing that I
most wanted to hear. I had not been able to decide, even after seeing my
darling Jane twice, whether she is in love with me. I have no wish to make her
an offer that she might feel obliged to accept because of her mother’s
influence. I shall go tomorrow and speak to her.’

Darcy not normally a demonstrative
man shook his hand vigorously and then embraced him. ‘I cannot tell you how
relieved I am that you have forgiven me. I have felt wretched indeed since you
rode off without me.’

‘We shall put it all behind us,
Darcy. All that matters now is that I love Jane and that it is likely she
returns my affections.’ He grinned at the look of comical relief on his
friend’s face. ‘Pray, correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that I am not the
only one in love with a Miss Bennet.’

Charles was delighted to see Darcy
colour and turn away without denying the statement.

 
Chapter
Twenty
 

Having bid his friend goodbye,
Charles immediately made ready to ride over to Longbourn.
His step was light, his demeanour so happy all of the
staff he encountered felt their spirits lift on seeing him. It wasn’t until he
was in the saddle that he realized Jane thought he had behaved badly. Although
she had seemed happy in his company the other evening, was this just because
she was being civil to a guest? She had certainly been quiet on their first
meeting, now he was not so sure he would get a favourable reception.

However, he was warmly greeted by
all the Bennet family, but it was towards Jane that he constantly turned. Did
her blushes mean that he was a welcome visitor or that she was displeased with
him? When Mrs Bennet made a pointed comment she looked away as if not pleased
by her mother’s references. Did this mean he was still unforgiven? Had he and
Darcy mistaken her feelings?

But then each time she smiled he
was sure he could see love in her eyes and could not understand how he had been
so blind last year as to have missed what was so obvious to him now.

If Mr Bennet had appeared to join
the merry party in the drawing-room he would have asked to speak to him, but he
did not wish the lady of the house to be forewarned of his intention. Jane must
be the first to know how much he loved her. Having spent more than an hour at
Longbourn he knew it was time to leave or he would be accused of outstaying his
welcome.

‘Mr Bingley, would you care to dine
with us tonight? Remember you are still in our debt on that score.’

‘I am afraid, Mrs Bennet, that I
have a prior engagement that I cannot cancel. If I had known that you intended
to ask me to dine I can promise you I would not have accepted another
invitation.’

‘Next time you call, Mr Bingley, I
hope we shall be more lucky.’

‘I should be particularly happy at
any time to join you here, it is only this evening that I am unable to come.’

‘Can you come tomorrow?’

‘I should be delighted, I have no
engagement at all for tomorrow. I thank you most heartily and look forward to
coming to Longbourn.’

With their good wishes ringing in
his ears he departed. Tomorrow evening he would find a moment to be private with
Jane and declare himself; he was eager for that moment to arrive after having
delayed so long.

 
* * * *

Jane waited until Sarah had left
the bedroom before turning to her sister. ‘Lizzy, do
you
think that
Charles loves me as much as I love him?’

‘Of course he does, you pea-goose,
he could not take his eyes from you; I have never seen a man so besotted.’

‘In which case why has he not
spoken to
me
of his feelings? And if he intends to make an offer why
hasn’t he spoken to Papa? After all, he has visited here several times already,
if he had intended…’

‘Dearest Jane, you are working
yourself up unnecessarily. He is as insecure as you are, but he will speak to
you as soon as he is certain that he will receive a favourable answer.’

‘But I love him so much, surely he
must see that in the way I behave with him? I could not survive another
disappointment.’

Her sister rushed across to enfold
her in her arms. ‘Enough of this, you must go to sleep, all will be well in the
morning, I promise you.’

It seemed an eternity to wait until
the evening when Charles was to dine with them. Somehow she muddled through the
day until it was time to get ready. She was in her bed chamber when her mother
ran into their room, in her dressing gown, with her hair half finished.

‘My dear Jane, make haste and hurry
down. He is come, Mr Bingley is come. He is, indeed. Make haste, make haste.
Here, Sarah, come to Miss Bennet this moment, and help her on with her gown.
Never mind Miss Lizzy’s hair.’

‘We will be down as soon as we can,
but I daresay Kitty is more forward than either of us, she went upstairs half
an hour ago.’ Jane was relieved her voice did not reflect her excitement at his
early arrival.

‘Oh! Hang Kitty! What has she to do
with it? Come, be quick, be quick! Where is your sash, my dear?’

Their mother left them together.
‘Lizzy, I shall not go down until you are ready to come with me. I do not like
the way Mama is trying to force me into his company in this way. It is most
distressing; I will not be party to it.’

‘My dear Jane, we all know why Mr
Bingley has arrived so early. For exactly the same reason that our mother
wishes you to go downstairs alone. He has come to make you an offer.’

‘Please, do not say such things to
me. I have been disappointed once before; I could not bear to have my heart
broken for a second time. If Charles wishes to speak to me then I am sure that
the occasion shall arise without my being pushed in his direction in this
embarrassing manner.’

Mr Bennet was in fact the first to
greet their guest and when Jane arrived on her sister’s arm she had no more to
do than curtsy and smile warmly at him. The same anxiety by her mother to get
them by themselves was visible again during the evening.

After tea, her father retired to
the library, as was his custom, and Mary went upstairs to play her instrument.
Jane tried to ignore her mother’s nodding and winking at both her sisters.
Eventually Kitty spoke innocently to their mother. ‘What is the matter? Why do
you keep winking at me? What am I to do?’

‘Nothing child, nothing. I did not
wink at you.’ A further five minutes passed without interruption until Mrs
Bennet could contain herself no longer and jumped to her feet. ‘Come here,
Kitty my love, I want to speak to you.’

Jane looked at Elizabeth in
distress knowing that her sister would not give in to such premeditation.
However, moments later the door half opened and her mother called out loudly.

‘Lizzy, my dear, I want to speak
with you.’

Jane watched in despair as her
sister was obliged to go, leaving her alone with Charles for the first time in
almost a year. She could not remain seated, she believed he would think she was
sitting there waiting to him to drop to one knee and propose.

‘Miss Bennet, please do not be
alarmed. I have no wish to embarrass you in any way. Come, sit down again and
let us talk of commonplaces until the others return.’

‘You are too kind, sir, I do most
heartily apologize for Mrs Bennet. It is not my doing, I can promise you.’ Jane
glanced up and was reassured by what she saw. His expression was bland, his
manner relaxed, he had not been embarrassed or put out in any way by her
mother’s machinations. She returned to her seat and soon the conversation
flowed as it always had, his ease and cheerfulness making him a most agreeable
companion.

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