Miss Dower's Paragon (26 page)

Evelyn did not have long to wonder. For the first time, perhaps because she was acutely tuned to the possibility, she saw Mr. Hawkins at work. It was done adroitly, subtly, cleverly. One by one the unsuitable admirers faded away once again.

Evelyn was in a towering rage. She was positively quivering. She knew, however, that it would be disastrous to show it, for that would inevitably lead to just the sort of public scene that her mother most disliked.

As she racked her brains over how she was to deliver the long overdue set-down that Mr. Hawkins deserved, she accepted an invitation to dance with Lord Hughes. Evelyn smiled at the gentleman as she rose and gave her hand to him. “Your gallantry is much appreciated, my lord,” she said.

“I have always had an eye for a lovely lady. You are very much like your mother in appearance, you know,” Lord Hughes said with a merry wink.

Evelyn laughed, surprised by his lordship’s manner. She had not thought that Lord Hughes liked her overmuch, for he had always treated her with the slightest air of amusement. She realized as she looked into his knowledgeable eyes that he had guessed at the reasons behind her original reserve toward him. “Thank you, sir. It is a compliment, indeed,” she said, a smile still touching her lips. “I know that my mother sets great store by you as well.”

Lord Hughes acknowledged her oblique apology with a slight nod. Tucking her hand into his arm, he said, “I am not as young as I once was. Perhaps you will not mind it if I usher you to the refreshment table instead of joining this set?”

“Of course not, my lord,” said Evelyn.

“I believe Miss Dower promised this dance to me.”

The hard voice brought both Lord Hughes and Evelyn around. At sight of his grandnephew, Lord Hughes raised a brow. “Indeed, nevvy?”

“Yes,” Mr. Hawkins ground out. His short glance at Evelyn’s astonished face was one of thin-lipped disapproval.

Evelyn had had quite enough. With a tight smile for Lord Hughes, she said, “I am sorry, my lord. I had indeed forgotten that I had promised this dance to Mr. Hawkins. I hope that you will forgive me.”

Lord Hughes swept her hand to his lips to place a lingering kiss. He was quietly amused by the hard look in Mr. Hawkins’s eyes. “I can forgive you anything, Miss Dower,” he said. His rich voice was a veritable caress.

Evelyn inclined her head, her smile for him less constrained. She appreciated the irony in his lazy gaze. Then she turned to place her fingers delicately on Mr. Hawkins’s sleeve.

As he led her toward the floor, Evelyn hissed, “I do not wish to dance. We shall find a private room, if you please!”

Mr. Hawkins glanced down to encounter her overly bright, glittering eyes. His brows rose slightly. “Of course, Miss Dower, if that is your wish.”

“It is!” Evelyn snapped.

She did not address him again as he led her out of the ballroom and a short distance down a hall. He paused to open a door and stood aside for her to precede him. Evelyn swept past him without a glance.

She found herself in a study. She did not turn until she heard the closing of the door, then she rounded on him. “How dare you, sir!” Her voice was trembling with fury. “How dare you to presume to interfere in my concerns.”

Mr. Hawkins was stunned alike by her fury and her beauty. Evelyn’s eyes blazed and the firelight cast molten gold over her delicately boned face and the swift rise and descent of her bosom. He had never seen her look so magnificent. He desired at that moment nothing except to pull her into his arms and make love to her.

Dragging his thoughts back to the matter at hand, he attempted to placate her. He advanced, saying in reasoned tones, “I was but thinking of your best interests. An innocent such as yourself cannot be expected to recognize knavery in all its guises. My uncle is a careless libertine. I would not have you fall prey to his seductions.”

His quiet inflections served to incite her fury to greater proportions. “Mr. Hawkins, I am far less in need of protection than you assume. On the contrary, I am quite up to snuff.”

Evelyn saw that he did not appear in the least convinced by her declaration. His expression of polite disbelief was the final straw. She stamped her foot. “You infuriating man! How can I make you understand that I do not wish, nor do I need you to play my bodyguard?”

He saw that tears glittered on her lashes and his heart smote him. Mr. Hawkins reached out to capture her hands. “Evelyn-”

She pulled free instantly. “Stop! Pray do not!”

He looked startled. He said stiffly, “I am sorry if I offended you. I assure you, I had no intention of taking advantage of our tête-à-tête, Miss Dower.”

Evelyn stared up at him for an astonished moment, various emotions fleeting across her face. Quite suddenly, she gave a low laugh that bordered on hysteria. “Yes, of course you would not! How very like you, Mr. Hawkins!” Her voice broke and her eyes were suddenly awash with tears. She turned away quickly, the back of her hand pressed over her mouth.

Mr. Hawkins stood stock-still, staring at her bowed head. Then he moved, swiftly and surely. His hands descended on her shoulders and turned her so quickly that she had to catch herself against him with her hands. He pulled her close into his arms.

Her face was pressed against his shoulder, while her hands were folded against his chest. She fancied that she could feel the strong, swift beat of his heart. She did not move, not daring to believe that he was actually holding her in so intimate a fashion.

Evelyn closed her eyes, drinking in the feel and the masculine smell of him. She loved him, she slowly realized. She had denied it for so long. She had even hidden it from herself behind a romantic fancy woven around Sir Charles. Poor Sir Charles, she thought. He had never had a proper chance at all.

Mr. Hawkins breathed in the sweet scent of the soft hair beneath his cheek. She was in his arms at last, the warmth of her feminine curves fitted neatly against him.

His breath quickened. He ached to do more than hold her. It was agonizing to hold her thus when he dared not demonstrate the depth of his passion. She was such an innocent. Even to take possession of her mouth in the manner he so desperately craved must surely frighten her and would undoubtedly give her a disgust of him.

They stood thus for several heartbeats while the battle raged in him. But honor, battered and bitterly hated, finally won.

Evelyn sighed and stirred. She lifted her head and smiled up at him. “I am quite composed now,” she said softly.

It was an effort for Mr. Hawkins to unlock his arms from about her; even more an effort to step back and put distance between them. His hungry gaze brushed her half-parted lips before dropping to the rounded breasts so invitingly displayed by her low décolletage. Firelight created fascinating shadows with every breath she took, further stoking his imagination. Realizing the turn of his thoughts, he dragged away his eyes.

He turned abruptly toward the mantel. Without glancing again in her direction, he said harshly, “Forgive me. I have crossed over the line yet once again.”

The warmth that Evelyn had been feeling evaporated with the cold indifference of his voice. Tears pricked her eyes again. He cared nothing for her. He never had. His demonstration had been naught but a ploy to divert her from her anger against him.

“I cannot bear this,” she said on a half-muffled sob.

He turned.

His expression was one of such surprise that Evelyn’s fury returned full-blown. Her voice shook with the force of her pent emotions. “You have attempted to keep me immured and isolated all Season. You have warned off several other gentlemen from me, even your own friends. You cannot deny it, for I have seen that even Viscount Waithe is no longer my ardent admirer! Why,
why
have you done this?”

“I cannot answer that,” said Mr. Hawkins raggedly. She had spurned him once. He could not bear for her to do so again, not now when he had so desperate a control over himself.

“It is obvious that you cannot possibly want me for yourself!” Evelyn cried, all of her hurt bursting forth. He had set her aside with just a few cold words. “You have made that abundantly clear!”

Her words struck him with the force of thrown daggers, and he jerked toward her. He stopped, his fists clenched as he stared at her. More than anything else, he wanted to protest his love for her.

Chapter Twenty-six

He did not trust himself to refute her charge of indifference, however, fearing that if he did so he would not be able to constrain himself any longer. It was safer to concentrate on her lesser accusations. “Isolated you? My dear Miss Dower, surely you do not believe that. On the contrary, I have done all in my power to insure an uncomplicated and serene come-out for you. I cannot see that you should have any complaints.”

Evelyn had seen something undefinable flicker for a moment in his eyes, before his expression had become shuttered. She had felt an answering leap in her pulses, and hope beat in step with her heart. But his reply was completely deflating.

She drew herself up, stiffening against the knifing hurt that she felt in her chest. “Indeed, Mr. Hawkins! Then pray allow me to enlighten you. This last week when I have gone to tea or to attend a function, I have been asked by all the ladies of my acquaintance, with a quite disgusting archness, where my noble protector has gotten himself to. As for the gentlemen, you have made me a laughingstock with them! The boldest inquire whether I have your—
your—
leave to consort with them!”

Mr. Hawkins was taken aback as much by her vehemence as by her astonishing assertions. “I have but attempted to safeguard your reputation!”

“Guard my
reputation?” Evelyn gave a bitter laugh. “You have all but destroyed it!”

“I was not aware that I was doing you such disservice, Miss Dower,” he said stiffly.

Evelyn saw that he was genuinely bewildered and upset. “Oh, Peter.” She moved close and touched his sleeve. She said in a gentler tone, “Peter, you must stop hedging me about. Pray allow me to succeed or fail on my own account. If I choose my acquaintances unwisely, it will be an honest mistake and one from which I shall learn. But I am not the widgeon you think me, I promise you.”

“Your reputation—”

“Have you not been listening to a word that I have been saying to you? If you possibly cared as much for my reputation as you aver, then you would cease to interfere so!”

Evelyn stopped and drew a difficult breath. She said quietly, “I tell you, I will not endure it any longer.”

Mr. Hawkins stared at her. She was flushed, but no longer with temper. There was a determined light in her eyes. He recognized that she believed entirely in what she had said, and it gave him pause.

His initial reaction was to reject her conclusions out of hand. However, the echo of certain comments made to him by one or two acquaintances came back to mind. He had previously brushed aside the remarks as ridiculous, but now they assumed new importance.

He said slowly, “Are you saying that I have caused you public humiliation?”

“Yes,” said Evelyn unsteadily.

“I see,” he said heavily. His expression was stem and deep-carven and his brows were knit as he glanced into the fire.

Once again Evelyn’s heart softened toward him. “I am sorry, Peter. But it is true. Even the dullest slowtop has noted that you have appointed yourself as my overzealous guardian. I suspect that half of my admirers are so obligingly attentive only to tease you into action. That is really the most infuriating thing, for how can I discern which are sincere in their compliments when my suitors run hot and cold, depending upon whether they have run foul of your disapproval?”

She managed to summon up a smile in an attempt to lighten the moment, which threatened to overwhelm her again. “It positively drives me mad to wonder whether they are all playing the same silly games.”

Her weak humor fell sadly flat with him.

Evelyn sighed. “Peter, I do appreciate what you have tried to do, truly I do. However, it simply cannot go on. Do you not see?”

He was silent for so long that she wondered whether he had heard her at all. But finally he sighed. “Yes, I do see. I profoundly regret my error in judgment, Miss Dower.” He reached for her hand and briefly carried her fingers to his lips. “I shall not so trouble you again, ma’am. You have my word of honor on it. Shall we return to the ballroom?”

He offered his arm to her. As Evelyn placed her hand in his elbow, she cast an anxious glance up at his stern expression. “I—I did not want to anger you, Peter.”

He laughed, but without any real vestige of amusement. “I am not in the least angered, Miss Dower. I am only embarrassed that I did not realize for myself what I have been putting you through.”

“Pray—let’s not speak of it again,” Evelyn begged, not liking the underlying bitterness in his tone.

“As you wish, Miss
Dower.”

Not another word was said between them, though Evelyn threw several glances up at his shuttered expression, wishing that he would break the heavy silence, while he returned her to the ballroom.

The set was just ending, and Evelyn’s next partner approached to claim her hand. She met Mr. Hawkins’s eyes, but he did not speak. He merely bowed and gave way to the waiting gentleman.

As she was led away into the forming set by her partner, Evelyn glanced back. She half hoped to see Mr. Hawkins glowering after them as he had earlier in the evening, but that gentleman had not remained to watch the dance. Evelyn looked swiftly about her, and to her dismay she saw that Mr. Hawkins, without a backward glance in her direction, was leaving the ballroom.

Evelyn turned to stare straight ahead. Though she smiled and otherwise acknowledged her partner’s sallies, she did riot really hear a word that was exchanged between them. Her misery was such that she wanted very much to simply sink into the floor and disappear.

But what exactly had she expected of Mr. Hawkins when she had confronted him? Of course he would step aside. Of course he would assure her that he would no longer be such a bother to her. He would do only what was proper. He was a paragon among gentlemen, head and shoulders above the rest. And was that not exactly what she had wanted from him?