Missing Child (19 page)

And, Caitlin thought, he had told Karla about the accident. She recalled now that something in Karla’s recounting of it had struck her as odd, but she couldn’t remember what. Too much else was happening that day. She wondered if she could call Karla now and ask her about it again. Maybe that would be useful. She felt ghoulish, rummaging in the pile of clothing on the floor, but she had not taken Karla’s information when she was here. At that time she was hoping to never have to set eyes on her again. But now . . . James’s phone was still in the pocket of his jeans. Caitlin pulled it out. The battery was dead. She would have to recharge the phone to find Karla’s number. She put it into the charger on his bureau and, to her relief, the phone immediately blinked that it was charging.

‘Caitlin?’

She jumped and cried out. She heard footsteps coming through the house. She put a hand to her thudding heart in relief as Noah appeared in the doorway to James’s room.

He looked at her face and grimaced. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’

Caitlin was not going to deny that she was scared. She also was not going to let Noah look around James’s room. James was still her brother. She felt some primitive urge to protect his privacy.

She left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

‘I probably shouldn’t have just come over here,’ said Noah.

‘It’s all right,’ said Caitlin. ‘Anything . . .?’ They stood awkwardly, facing each other in the narrow hallway.

Noah ran a hand through his shaggy, unwashed hair. His face had become positively gaunt in the last week. ‘Sam Mathis told me that Bandit was in Dan’s car. That you found him there. He was heading off to talk to him again.’

‘That’s true,’ said Caitlin. ‘I went there to apologize . . . about Emily.’

‘I know,’ said Noah. ‘I’m just . . . having trouble with this. I mean, I know Dan would never . . . It’s . . . unthinkable. But Bandit . . .?’

He looked at her so helplessly that her heart ached at the sight of his face. She knew that he was picturing Geordie, Bandit tucked protectively under his arm, no matter how many times kids made fun of him for it.

‘Come here,’ she said. She thought of taking his hand but then she didn’t. She gestured for him to follow her. She went down the hall to the guest room and turned on the bedside lamp. Then she stepped back and indicated the stuffed animal on the pillow.

Noah walked over to the bed and lifted Bandit off the pillow. He frowned at her. ‘How did you get him out of Dan’s car?’

Caitlin hesitated, and then told him about her call to Triple A.

‘You’re a born outlaw,’ he said.

Caitlin didn’t know if he meant it as an insult. She didn’t think so. ‘I sewed his ear back on last night,’ she pointed out.

Noah nodded, wiping his eyes. ‘He was about to lose it.’

‘I couldn’t let that happen,’ said Caitlin. ‘I promised Geordie. I wanted it to be done, for when he comes home.’

Noah sighed and shook his head. ‘It’s like the earth has swallowed him up. He’s just vanished.’

He looked across at her, his capable, discerning glance now veiled in tears and fearful as a child. And he was turning to her for encouragement. She felt suddenly calm. ‘He’s gonna come home. We have to just keep on believing that.’

Noah hesitated. ‘I was wrong to accuse you,’ he said. ‘I know you would never do anything to hurt him.’

Caitlin felt as if he had lifted a weight off of her chest. ‘No. Never,’ she said.

NINETEEN

‘
M
aybe you should take Bandit home,’ she said. ‘We want him right there and waiting when the time comes . . .’ She offered him the stuffed animal, even though it pained her to do so. Noah was surrounded by Geordie’s belongings, with all their attendant comfort and pain. She had only Bandit.

‘No, you keep him. For the time being.’

‘It’s so hard to go through this alone,’ she blurted out.

Noah nodded absently, as if he did not understand what she was saying, and got into his car. She watched him pull out of the driveway, and the rest of the day seemed to crash on top of her. She thought about calling the college and telling them she would come back to work, just so she wouldn’t have to face the long, empty hours, but then she thought better of it. She couldn’t imagine putting on her work clothes, answering people’s questions and listening to their problems while her heart was crying out, ‘My child is missing.’ She was not ready for that.

Searching her mind for a task other than housework, she thought of James’s phone. Maybe it was charged enough by now. She went back down to his room, found and pressed the buttons to reveal the last calls he made. Sure enough, the number for the reformatory was there. But not Karla’s home number. She tried scrolling back all the way on his phone, but the saved numbers were only for fifty calls.

Caitlin tried to think. What was Karla’s last name anyway? She checked the return address on her letters, but it was just initials. Caitlin could picture Karla’s house. She had driven James over there when she home on a visit, before her parents moved to South Jersey. Karla’s family lived in a dilapidated ranch house on a weedy patch of woods outside of Coatesville. She could find the place with no problem but she couldn’t, for the life of her, remember their name.

Caitlin looked at the clock. It was a two-hour drive. She wouldn’t get back here till dark. So what? she thought miserably. You have no one waiting for you. Nowhere to be. And Karla might know something important.

She hesitated for a moment, and then made up her mind. She put Bandit back on her pillow. ‘I’ll be back,’ she whispered, as if the pup were alive.

The town of Coatesville had once been known at the Pittsburgh of the East when Lukens Steel was headquartered there. Along with the American steel industry, Coatesville had fallen on hard times. Valiant efforts were being made by preservationists to revive shuttered businesses and boarded-up buildings, but the town had an air of fatigue, as if it were all too much to ask.

Caitlin’s father had worked his whole life in Coatesville in the Public Works department. When his time for retirement came, despite a lifetime spent in this town, he seemed to have no desire to stay. He and Caitlin’s mother were solitary types, not joiners, and though Caitlin had a strong sense of the area where she grew up, she did not feel connected to the people there. Her parents kept to themselves and neither one had much family to speak of. A million memories assailed her as she drove through the environs of the town, but she tried not to get lost in nostalgia. She was here for a purpose.

It took her several tries to find the road which led to Karla’s house. She finally found it and wended her way through scruffy woods until she came to a house she recognized.

It was a graceless ranch house, low to the ground and covered in moldy, beige vinyl siding, with a few tiny windows. There were plastic barrels along the side of the house and a clothesline hung with clothes in the front yard. A blue and orange plastic slide and picnic table rested on an incline not far from the drying clothes. A couple of plastic pots of dead mums sat on the cement slab in front of the door.

There were children playing in the woods. Caitlin could hear their shouts as she got out of the car. Karla’s car, the one she had driven to their house, was parked in the dirt driveway. Caitlin exhaled with relief. It would have been a long trip to make only to learn that Karla had decamped for another place.

She walked up to the door and knocked. There were net curtains over the window but she could hear movement inside. The door opened and Karla looked out at her in surprise. She was barefoot, wearing a baggy black T-shirt over pink leggings, and still had a cross hanging prominently around her neck. Her hair was a lifeless fluff.

‘Caitlin,’ she exclaimed. ‘I can’t believe it. What brings you here?’

‘I came to see you, Karla,’ she said.

‘Awesome. Hold on a minute. I’m watching the kids while my mom’s on her shift. I have to holler at them.’

‘OK,’ said Caitlin.

Karla stepped out onto the cement and screeched in the voice of a fishmonger, ‘Cliffie, Brianna, Ardella. Answer me.’

The shrieking in the woods stopped for a moment, and then an angry boy’s voice called out, ‘What?’

‘I can’t see you. Come back in the yard where I can see you.’

A boy’s defiant voice yelled, ‘Why da we haf to?’

‘Mom told me to watch you,’ Karla cried out. ‘Now come back in the yard.’

There was a rustling of leaves and then a pint-sized, skinny kid with baggy clothes and a swagger appeared in the clearing. Two little girls in pink and purple jackets gamboled along behind him. He gestured at his narrow chest with his thumbs. ‘Here I am. Ya see me?’ he defied her.

Karla nodded. ‘Stay where I can see ya,’ she said.

‘Who’s that?’ the boy asked, nodding in Caitlin’s direction.

‘This is James’s sister. Remember James?’ Karla asked.

‘Your druggie boyfriend?’ Cliffie sneered.

‘Don’t mind him,’ Karla said to Caitlin. ‘Stay put,’ she shot back at the boy as she opened the door to the house. ‘Come on in.’

The inside of the house defied Caitlin’s expectations somewhat. Everything was tidy and, though worn, looked comfortable. She glanced in the living room. The grayish brown sectional sofa almost disappeared against the fake paneling on the walls, and it faced an enormous flat-screen TV. There were knitted throws on the arms of every piece of the sectional. The walls were hung with religious images. On the formica kitchen table was an open Bible as well as some school books.

‘Caught me studying,’ said Karla apologetically. ‘Can I get you anything? A soda?’

‘Yeah, a soda would be great,’ said Caitlin. She sat down at the table. ‘What are you working on?’

‘Well, my Bible study, of course. Plus, I have to take the GED exam next week.’ Karla opened the small refrigerator, pulled out a can of Wink and opened it, pouring it into a plastic cup. She handed it to Caitlin.

Caitlin nodded. ‘Thanks. Are you ready for that?’

Karla frowned. ‘I think so. They tell you what to study.’

‘That’s a good thing to be doing,’ said Caitlin.

‘After that I’m going to try to go to college,’ Karla confided.

‘Really?’ said Caitlin.

Karla looked around the tidy house and then leaned toward Caitlin. ‘I don’t want to end up here,’ she said. ‘Or in jail.’

‘That’s great,’ Caitlin said. ‘You’ve got plans for yourself.’

Karla shrugged and smiled. ‘I’ve seen a lot of really bad stuff in my life. So, I’m trying.’

‘Good for you,’ said Caitlin. She felt that she had been too harsh on this girl in her thoughts about her. Sometimes people did change.

‘So what did you want to ask me?’ Karla asked.

Caitlin hesitated. ‘I have to admit. I was thinking about James’s accident.’

‘I figured it was about that,’ said Karla, and there was a little note of let down in her voice. ‘What did you want to know?’

‘Well, I have so many questions. The way you described it the other day. I thought I knew what happened, but now I’m wondering . . . What did he tell you about that day? Can you remember?’

‘Oh, yeah. I wouldn’t forget that. He said the woman used him to kill herself.’

Caitlin recoiled at the bald statement. ‘What?’

Karla nodded sharply. ‘That’s what he said. He said she ran right out in front of his car. He didn’t have a chance to stop.’

Emily? Caitlin thought. She remembered what Sam said about the location of the damage to her father’s truck. ‘Are you sure about that?’

‘Positive,’ said Karla. ‘I have the letter he sent me about it.’

Caitlin felt as if an electric charge had surged through her. ‘You do?’

‘Yeah. Do you want me to go get it?’

‘Would you do that?’

‘Sure,’ she said. She got up from her chair and took a moment to peer out the kitchen window. Then she opened the door and screeched again. ‘Cliffie.’

‘We’re right here,’ the boy replied in a surly tone.

‘Good,’ she said, and slammed the door. She turned to Caitlin. ‘I’ll be right back.’ She disappeared down the dark hallway past the living room. Caitlin didn’t know what to think. James had never said a word to her about anyone running in front of him. Was that true? Or was he lying to Karla?

Karla returned with the letter, still in its envelope. She handed it to Caitlin. It was addressed, in James’s small handwriting, to Karla Dawson at Hopelight House.

Caitlin reached into the envelope and hesitated, looking up at Karla. ‘May I?’

‘Sure. That’s why I got it for you.’

Caitlin pulled it out and scanned it, realizing as she did that she was looking at James’s suicide note.
My sister will never believe me
, he had written.
She gave up on me just like my parents. I did take a couple of pills that day, but I wasn’t high when I hit that woman. Driving along, minding my own business and suddenly she flew out from the driveway and right in front of my truck. She looked right at me. I’ll never forget her eyes. Like something in a horror movie. I can’t close my own eyes without seeing her. The sound when the truck hit her was the most sickening thing I can ever remember. I can’t stop hearing it, or seeing her face. I knew right away that it was all over for me. I had killed a person with the car and I had no license. No one would ever believe that she used me like that to off herself. Why would anybody do that? I just kept driving.

I wish I could be with you. I’m all alone. Something bad is gonna happen. I love you and I’m sorry. James
.

Caitlin read it twice and then looked up at Karla in bewilderment.

‘By the time I got it he was already gone,’ said Karla matter-of-factly. ‘You can only get “snail mail” there. Part of the punishment is no computer access. And then, when it comes, they always hold your mail up in that place.’

Caitlin slowly replaced the letter in the envelope.

‘Does that letter tell you what you wanted to know?’ Karla asked.

Caitlin nodded. ‘In a way.’ She held up the envelope. ‘I know this is very private and I hate to ask this of you, but could I keep this for a while? I’ll get it back to you.’