Mission: Earth "Black Genesis"

To the degree that this book deals with a nonexistent planet ("Earth"), it is hereby deemed as "acceptable for entertainment only." At no time shall it or any portion of it in any form be permitted in any Voltarian study.

The reader is thereby alerted and warned that "Earth" is completely fictional, fabricated and fallacious, and that contact with such a planet (if it ever existed) is dangerous to your health.

Lord Invay Royal Historian Chairman, Board of Censors Royal Palace Voltar Confederacy

By Order of

His Imperial Majesty

Wully the Wise

With all due respect to the Royal Censor, one man's fact is another man's fiction. Fortunately, being the Robotbrain in the Translatophone I don't qualify for that quandary.

Also, to the degree I've never visited this place called Earth (which would be hard since it isn't there), I can't personally vouch for anything that I was given to translate. All I can do is take what is said and make the best of it.

As Lord Invay points out, Earth does not exist on any astrochart and I have confirmed that. Since Soltan Gris (the narrator of this story) is a confessed criminal and well worthy of doubt (besides, anyone whose heroes are Sigmund Freud and Bugs Bunny also has other problems), I did not rely on his account that Earth is about 22 light-years from Voltar. I thoroughly searched all astro-charts in my data banks, concentrating on everything within 2000 light-years out, but nothing was found to match his description. (Come to think of it, I have no idea why I should have an Earth database if there is no such place. I'll have to work on that.)

The subject of light-years brings up a major problem I had translating portions of this into Earth language.

There is no accepted vocabulary for hyperluminary phenomena simply because Earth scientists insist that there is no such thing and that nothing can travel faster than light. (This is the same group who also gave Earth other memorable nonsense like the "edge of the world" and the "sound barrier.") Thus, while most Earthlings have perceived the hyperluminary life-color that in Voltarian we call "ghrial," they don't have a name for it since it can't be reproduced as a shade of nail polish. So I went with "yellow-green" as that is its luminary harmonic. (It is also the word most Earthlings use to try and describe it. Their problem is that they continuously have valid perceptions and experiences that they invalidate and so they get stuck in a very strange view of the world. Reality is apparently determined either by majority vote or government grant, with the latter holding veto power over the former.)

Similarly with other basics like space, time, energy, motion and self, Earth scientists pursue these concepts like the dog chasing its tail or the man trying to jump on the head of his shadow. None of them—dog or scientist—have caught on as to why the objective eludes them so mysteriously. So I relied on the current vocabulary and made the best of it. (I hope no one back on Voltar catches me talking about "electron rings" or I'll be laughed out of the Machine Purity League.)

As to characters, as Lord Invay said in the first volume, Royal officer Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak do exist. Soltan Gris (the narrator who gives me all my circuit-aches) is listed as a General Service officer but there is no further record of worth.

For others who appear in this volume, I'm providing a Key to describe them as well as a few additional items. I had to rely on Gris's prison narrative, which isn't easy.

(Gris's American Southern drawl, spoken with a Northern Voltarian accent, has to be heard to be believed.)

From there, you're on your own! There's only so much a Robotbrain can do!

Sincerely,

54 Charlee Nine

Robotbrain in the Translatophone

Absorbo-coat—Coating that absorbs light waves, making the object virtually invisible or undetectable.

Antimanco—A race exiled long ago from the planet Manco for ritual murders.

Apparatus, Coordinated Information—The secret police of Voltar, headed by Lombar Hisst and manned by criminals.

Atalanta—Province on planet Manco settled by Prince Caucalsia who, per Folk Legend 894M, started a colony on Blito-P3 (Earth).

Barben, I. G.—Pharmaceutical company controlled by Delbert John Rockecenter.

Bawtch—Soltan Gris's chief clerk for Section 451 on Voltar.

Bis—Intelligence officer of the Fleet and friend of Jettero Heller.

Bittlestiffender, Prahd– Voltar cellologist found by Sol-tan Gris, who implanted Jettero Heller with transmitters so Gris could monitor Heller's sight and hearing.

Blito—A yellow dwarf star with but one inhabitable

planet in the third orbit (Blito-P3). It is about 22 1/2 light-years from Voltar.

Blito-P3—Planet known locally as "Earth." It is on the Invasion Timetable as a future way-stop on Voltar's route toward the center of this galaxy.

Blixo—Apparatus freighter that makes regular runs between Blito-P3 and Voltar. The voyage takes about six weeks each way.

Bluebottles—Nickname given to the Domestic Police of Voltar.

Bluejackets—An Apparatus nickname for members of the Fleet.

Bolz—Captain of the Blixo.

Caucalsia, Prince—According to Folk Legend 894M, he fled Manco during the Great Rebellion and set up a colony on Blito-P3.

Caucasus—A mountain region between Turkey and Russia, where survivors of Prince Caucalsia's colony fled when their island colony on Earth was destroyed.

Cellology—Voltarian medical science that can repair the body through the cellular generation of tissues, including entire body parts.

Chank-pop—A small, round ball that, when pressed, sprays a scented fog; used as a refresher on Voltar.

Chorder-beat—An electronic instrument where the left hand chords and the right hand beats out a rhythm. It is played strapped to the stomach and makes a sinuous, suggestive sort of music.

Code Break—Violation of Space Code a-36-544 M which prohibits alerting others that one is an alien. If this occurs, those alerted are destroyed and the violator is put to death.

Coordinated Information Apparatus—See Apparatus.

Crobe, Doctor—Apparatus doctor and cellologist who examined Jettero Heller for his mission. Crobe recommended beer and hamburgers as a basic Earth diet.

Drunks—A Fleet nickname for members of the Apparatus.

Exterior Division—That part of the Voltar government that reportedly contained the Apparatus.

Fleet—The elite space fighting arm of Voltar to which Jettero Heller belongs and which the Apparatus despises.

Flisten—A planet in the Voltar Confederacy, its humanoid inhabitants are long-nailed and yellow-skinned.

Folk Legend 894M—The legend of how Prince Caucalsia fled Atalanta, Manco, to Blito-P3 where he set up a colony called "Atlantis."

Grand Council—The governing body of Voltar which ordered a mission to keep Blito-P3 from destroying itself so the Invasion Timetable could be maintained.

Gris, Soltan—Apparatus officer in charge of Blito-P3 (Earth) Section 451 and an enemy of Jettero Heller.

Heller, Hightee—Sister of Jettero Heller and most popular entertainer in the Voltar Confederacy.

Heller, Jettero—Combat engineer and Royal officer of the Fleet, sent by Grand Council order to Blito-P3.

Hisst, Lombar—Head of the Coordinated Information Apparatus who, to keep the Grand Council from discovering his plan, sent Soltan Gris to sabotage Jettero Heller's mission.

Hot Jolt—A popular Voltarian drink.

Hypnohelmet—Device placed over the head and used to induce a hypnotic state.

Invasion Timetable—A schedule of galactic conquest. The plans and budget of every section of Voltar's government must adhere to it. Bequeathed by Voltar's ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago, it is inviolate and sacred and the guiding dogma of the Confederacy.

Knife Section—Section of the Apparatus named after its favorite weapon.

Krak, Countess—Condemned murderess, prisoner of Spiteos and sweetheart of Jettero Heller.

Lepertige—Large catlike animal as tall as a man.

Manco—Similar to Blito-P3 and home planet of Jettero Heller and Countess Krak and the source of Folk Legend 894M.

Manco Devil—Mythological spirit native to Manco.

Meeley—Landlady of Soltan Gris.

Odur—See Oh Dear.

Oh Dear—Nickname for Odur, a clerk in Soltan Gris's Section 451,

Raht—An Apparatus agent on Blito-P3 who, with Terb,

was assigned by Lombar Hisst to help Soltan Gris sabotage Jettero Heller's mission.

Rockecenter, Delbert John—Native of Blito-P3 who controls the planet's fuel, finance, governments and drugs.

Roke, Tars—Astrographer to the Emperor of Voltar, Cling the Lofty. Roke's discovery that Earth was destroying itself prompted the Grand Council to send Jettero Heller on mission.

Section 451—A Section in the Apparatus headed by Sol-tan Gris that is responsible for just one minor star, Blito, and one inhabitable planet in the 3rd orbit (Blito-P3) known locally as "Earth."

Ske—Driver for Soltan Gris.

Snelz—Apparatus platoon commander at Spiteos, who befriended Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak when they were prisoners there.

Space Code a-36-544 M Section B—Section of the Voltarian Space Code that prohibits landing and prematurely alerting the population of a target planet that is on the Invasion Timetable. Violation carries the death penalty.

Spiteos—The secret mountain fortress and prison run by the Apparatus on the planet Voltar where the Countess Krak and Jettero Heller had been imprisoned.

Spurk—Owner of "The Eyes and Ears of Voltar" company who was killed by Soltan Gris to steal the micro-devices that he had Prahd Bittlestiffender implant in Jettero Heller.

Stinger—A flexible whip about eighteen inches long with an electric jolt in its tip-lash.

Tayl, Widow Pratia—Nymphomaniac on Voltar.

Terb—Apparatus agent on Blito-P3 who, with Raht, has been assigned by Lombar Hisst to help Soltan Gris sabotage Jettero Heller's mission.

Too-Too—Nickname for Twolah, a clerk in Soltan Gris's Section 451.

Tug One—Powered by the feared Will-be Was time drives, it had been in storage since its sister ship, Tug Two, reportedly blew up.

Tup—An alcoholic beverage on Voltar.

Twolah—See Too-Too.

Voltar—The seat of the 110-planet Confederacy that was ruled by Cling the Lofty as the Emperor, through the Grand Council, at the time of Jettero Heller's mission. The empire is over 125,000 years old.

Will-be Was—The feared time drives that allow Jettero Heller to cover the 22 1/2-light-year distance between Blito-P3 (Earth) and Voltar in a little over three days.

Zanco—Cellological equipment and supplies company on Voltar.

831 Relayer—Used to boost the signals from the audio and optical bugs implanted in Jettero Heller so that Sol-tan Gris can secretly monitor everything Jettero sees and hears.