Mistrust (18 page)

“I’m not going to form an opinion until you tell me what’s going on.” Breathing deeply, I close my eyes, trying to settle my body down, wishing Reece would leave me alone. “Does it have anything to do with all those photos?”

All those photos?
What the fuck? I’ve only seen two. “What do you mean by that?”

“There’s the one Levi was showing everyone; which was sent from an unknown number that’s since been disconnected. And then there’s the picture from last night, and the two from this afternoon.”

“This afternoon? What are you talking about?” My body is exhausted, I’ve not slept properly and I feel as if I’m on DEFCON 1 at all times. One moment I have a glimpse of normalcy, and the next it’s ripped away from me in realization of the truth. I’ll never be me again, I’ll never be popular Dakota. I’ll never know how my life was supposed to turn out, because I now have a secret and I can’t let anyone else find out.

“I got sent a text with two photo attachments. By the time I saw it and tried calling the number, it was disconnected.”

I stare blankly at Reece, trying to make sense of the words he spoke. I think I heard him say he got two photos, but I’m not sure. “What?” I ask in a monotone.

“Dakota, are you okay?” He leans into me, and I can’t make myself move away. I can see him, but I can’t respond. It’s almost as if the message isn’t reaching my brain and I’m slowly losing the battle with myself. “Dakota.” Reece grabs my shoulders and shakes them.

But I can’t stop my drifting, I’m trying to pull myself back. The darkness is so beautiful, and there’s the sweet smell of melted chocolate wafting through the air, encouraging me to let go.

“Dakota!” Reece yells.

Suddenly, I’m back in the classroom with Reece only a few inches from my face and a number of class members forming a circle around us. Some have their hands over their mouths whispering to one another. “What the hell happened?”

“You almost passed out. Again, Dakota.”

“Dakota, I’m getting worried for you,” Mrs. Walker says as Reece helps me up.

The bell sounds and I’m relieved that as of now, I’m free from all the stares and whispers.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Walker. Not sure what happened,” I honestly admit. One minute I was perfectly normal-ish, and the next, darkness had strangled my mind and forced me under its spell.

Reece helps me up from where I collapsed, grabs my backpack and starts walking with me. “How are you getting home?” he asks, concerned.

“Sam and I will walk. It’s not far.”

“If I had my license I’d take you. I’ll be getting it in the next few weeks.”

“Good for you. Look, thanks for helping me back there.” I nervously tuck some hair behind my ear and look down once we’re out in the hall. “I’m sorry, Reece, I didn’t mean to snap at you it’s just . . .” I pause talking and take a deep breath.

“Dakota.” I hear Sam yelling my name. I look to see her standing right at the other end of the hallway. I hold up a finger, indicating I’m going to be another minute. “Come on.” She waves me over impatiently.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Reece.”

“Just the truth.”

I smile at his words. My small chuckle is humorless, and my smile doesn’t reach my eyes. Looking down at my shoes, I look back to him. “I can’t. Have a good summer.” I turn and walk away as fast as I can.

“Dakota,” he calls after me. But I ignore him. “Dakota,” he yells again. But I can tell by his tone, he knows it’s hopeless.
I’m hopeless.

“What’s going on?” Sam asks when I reach her, her eyes transfixed to where Reece is standing.

I grab onto her elbow and keep walking out, not turning to look behind me. “Nothing.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Dakota. What happened?”

“Keep walking and I’ll tell you. Just don’t look back.” Sam turns to look over her shoulder the moment I tell her not to look. “I said, don’t look at him.”

“Tell me why.” Our steps quicken as we head out the front, down the twenty-odd steps and start toward home. “Will you let go of my arm?”

I loosen my grip, eventually dropping my hand when we’re half way down the block. I sneak a look over my shoulder, to make sure Reece isn’t following us. “I almost passed out again.”

“What?”

“Reece started questioning me and asking me what’s going on. He told me he got a message with two new pictures and when he tried calling the number it had been disconnected. Now he wants to know what’s happening.”

“Oh shit,” Sam whimpers.

“I know . . .”
Beep, beep.
I look to where the horn sounded and spot Sophie in the passenger seat of a car. “Hey,” I say, putting on a smile and facade that everything is fine and I’m unaffected by all the pictures.

“Hey, want a lift? Mom said she can drop you home if you like.”

Her mom leans over and waves to us. “Um.” I look to Sam then back to Sophie. “Nah, it’s all good, we’ll walk.” Sophie’s face drops, and I can see the disappointment hit her straight away. Immediately she plasters a fake smile on her face, I can identify it as fake, because it looks a lot like mine has been ever since
that
night. “Hey, I don’t have your number, Sophie and I don’t think you have mine.” By this stage both Sam and I are standing beside the stationary car.

“No, I don’t have it,” Sophie says.

“Have you got your phone on you?” I ask. She nods with enthusiasm, and I can tell she’s happy to be getting my number. I rattle it off and she enters it in her phone. “Can I have yours?” I ask.

“Sure.”

She waits for me to take my cell out so I can input her number. I search my pockets and remember I’ve given it to Sam. I turn to look at Sam, silently requesting her phone. Sam catches on quickly and hands me her phone. “Here, I know you forgot yours at home today,” she adds, covering for me. I give Sam a smile, one only she and I understand. A discreet ‘thank you’ without actually saying the words.

“I’ll call you,” Sophie says when her mom taps her on the leg and says they’ve got somewhere to be.

“Bye.” I wave to Sophie and to her mom.

“Now, what were you saying about Reece?”

“He got new pictures.” I grab my stomach, feeling it tighten in response to the knowledge there are pictures out there of me doing things while I wasn’t conscious. “I can’t believe this shit. Whoever is doing this is probably taking great pleasure in torturing me by sending these pictures to people I know.”

“It doesn’t really make sense. Why would they risk getting caught by being so public?”

I shrug my shoulders and narrow my gaze on the sidewalk. “It was bad enough being humiliated and having my free will violated. Now though, to have it publicly thrown in my face and be further humiliated with photos of me looking like I’m there willingly . . .” I breathe out deeply. “No wonder Levi and Lindsey hate me so much.”

“Then tell them and hopefully they’ll understand and stop all those cruel things they’re saying and doing to you.”

I shake my head. “It’s too late now.”

“That’s bull, Dakota. And you know it.”

“I get why they are the way they are. Especially Levi. We broke up because I wasn’t ready to have sex with him, then he sees pictures of me half-naked, in disgusting positions with someone else clearly taking the photos. Lindsey, she’s just hurt for Levi.”

“It doesn’t give them the right to be assholes to you though,” Sam says in a very assertive and serious tone. “The least they could do is leave it alone.”

“I suppose to them I look like the bad guy; especially to Levi. He’s probably hurt by it all. I know I would be.”

“You wouldn’t judge without knowing the full extent of the other person’s side.”

My eyebrows draw together and I can’t help but think about what Sam’s said. “Not now that this has happened to me, but I think I would’ve judged just as quick, if not quicker before . . . well you know.”

Sam turns to me, her lips in a thin line and worry is etched on every inch of her face. “You have to say the word, Dakota.”

I’m already shaking my head at her before she’s even had a chance to finish the sentence. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because then it’s real and it actually happened to me. And I can’t deal with that.”

Sam’s lips turn up in a sympathetic smile. I simply keep walking and keep trying to bury
that night
as deep as I can.

“What are you girls doing today?” Mom asks as I sit at the dining room table having some cereal.

It’s been a few days since school finished, and Sam’s been begging me to go out with her and Taylor. But all I want to do is lie in bed, read and listen to music. I don’t want to go out, and I certainly don’t want to socialize with anyone.

“I want to go to the fair, C’mon on, Dakota, let’s go,” Sam eagerly asks me with a huge encouraging smile brightening up her face.

“I don’t know,” I grumble.

“Please?” She flutters her ridiculously long eyelashes at me. “I’ll be the best sister in the whole wide world.” She brings her hands up to under her chin as she continues to give me a pleading look. She’s giving me those big puppy dog eyes while she continues to bat her eyelashes at me. “Please?”

“You already are the best sister in the world, so yeah, let’s go.”

“Yippee!” Sam claps her hands together.

“What time do you two girls think you’ll be ready to go? Unless of course, you don’t mind me taking you in my very elegant attire.” Mom steps out from behind the kitchen island and does a small spin for us. She’s wearing her Batman pajamas, and her hair is all over the place exactly like every other morning.

“We can wait until you’ve changed, Mom,” Sam says while eyeing Mom’s wardrobe choice with a hint of disgust.

Mom looks down at her clothes and puts her hand on her hip. “Oh, I see. You don’t think I’m trendy enough,” she mocks us. Mom is Mom, always threatening to do something to embarrass us. She never would, but she jokes around about it all the time.

“Nah, not at all. You look way chic like that.” Sam sweeps her hand up and down, indicating Mom’s summer pajamas. “Maybe you can do your hair.”

“I’ll put them in two pig-tails and tease the ends.”

“Oh God,” I mumble and rake my hand over my face. “Here she goes.”

“What about your gold sparkly tank top, Mom? You should totally wear that,” Sam says.

“Don’t encourage her, Sam. Because one day, she will
so
do these things.”

“Oh yes, I know which top you’re talking about. How about a pair of black hot pants teamed with my red boots.”

“See?” I say, looking at Sam. “See what you’re doing?”

Sam’s smiling at me, and Mom’s chuckling. “I can walk you girls in, and if we happen to see any of your friends, I’ll make sure I’m nice and loud for you too.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head. One day, I expect Mom to do something exactly like that. “You will not!”

“I’m hurt by your behavior, Dakota.” Mom clutches at her heart pretending to be devastated. “Seriously hurt.” She even fake cries. I look over to Sam and roll my eyes again. Both of us are laughing at Mom and her great, easy nature. “And to prove how hurt I am, I’ll be sure to have lipstick all over my teeth and to beep for as long as I can so everyone looks at you while you get out of the car.”

“Good idea, Mom,” I say as I stand and take my bowl over to the sink. “I’ll tell everyone you’ve been released from the hospital and you’re really excited to be home.”

Mom smacks me in the arm, then howls in laughter. “You girls,” she says shaking her head. “I’ll go get ready. Red or pink lipstick?” She looks at me then cracks a huge smile.

“C’mon,” I say to Sam as she’s downing her orange juice.

I head to my room to get changed, and Sam walks down the hallway toward her room.

“Just call me when you want me to pick you up,” Mom says as we pull up to the parking area where the fair is set up. “Here you go girls.” Mom takes out some money from her purse and hands it to us. “Have fun, and remember, don’t go to the bathrooms on your own, go together. Don’t accept drinks from anyone. And most importantly, don’t get in anyone’s car. Call me if you need anything.”

My heart palpates when Mom tells us not to accept drinks from anyone, but only because of
that night.
“Thanks, Mom,” Sam and I chorus together.