Mistrust (27 page)

“About a year ago.” The sadness in her eyes tells me she’s struggling to talk, to open up. I don’t want to push her, but I also want her to know she can talk to me anytime. I don’t blame her; it’s humiliating. “It was at a party. We’d won a home game, someone had a party . . . you know how it goes.” Her voice is wispy, soft, and incredibly controlled.

My hands tremble as I become restless, a sudden shooting pain tears through my spine right into my head. Cringing, I rub the spot on my temple, hoping I can ease the tension that’s hit me unexpectedly. “Do you know who?” my voice cracks on the last word. I move my head to the side, hoping the crick in my neck cracks. It wasn’t there earlier, it’s only just happened.

Sophie’s gray eyes fill with tears. One lonely tear escapes and she swiftly moves her hand so she can wipe it away. “I don’t know who did it.” Another tear falls and she wipes that one away too.

Furrowing my brows together I take a deep breath and watch her as reality settles over me.
Please don’t say you were drugged. Please don’t say you were drugged.
“What do you mean?”
Please don’t say you were drugged. Please don’t say you were drugged.
“I don’t get it.”

She blinks rapidly while the tears are coming stronger and faster than before. “I just . . .” her body quivers as she tries to breathe. I find my own breath has stilled, suspended while I wait to hear what she has to say. “I don’t remember.”

All the blood drains from my body, shards of ice stab into me as my body temperature drops. “You don’t remember?” My eyes try to stay connected to hers, however my vision is filled with dense black stars. Wildly I close and open my eyes, then screw them shut allowing her words to register. In defense I wrap my arms around my torso, all my barriers fly up as my body begins to twitch.

“Dakota?” I hear Sam call my name. The darkness is keeping me from responding. “Dakota, you’re trembling.” Her words are a jumbled mess, I’m not even sure if she’s talking to me. “What happened?” There’s a panicked desperation in her quiet voice.

“I’m okay,” I finally find the strength to answer Sam. “I’m okay,” I repeat.

Sam grabs onto my knees and leans into me. Her face is within inches of mine as she keeps her focus on me and how I’m reacting. “What happened?” Sam then looks over to Sophie who’s still crying.

“Nothing, please let it go,” I beg of her. Reaching out, I grab Sophie’s hand, reassuring her I’ll never tell her secret to a living soul. “I promise, I’m okay.”

Sam keeps her eyes trained on me, occasionally looking back to Sophie. Her expression remains suspicious, her dark brown eyes are pensive yet soft. She leans in and hugs me, then widens her embrace to include Sophie. “Okay,” she says in a small voice.

We remain in each other’s arms for a long time, letting go only when Taylor clears his throat. “Um, everything okay?” he asks.

Taylor’s in the pool, near us but still at a distance as if he knows we’re all emotional and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Typical boy.
“We’re okay,” I answer on behalf of the three of us.

Taylor’s eyes are wide with fright. Not scary like he’s seen a ghost, more like
‘these chicks are crazy.’
I can’t help but chuckle when I see how his eyes are darting between us before he swims backward in the pool.

“We’re good,” Sophie says wiping her tears away.

“Yeah, you know, we’re girls.”

Taylor’s face lifts in a surprised expression. “I’m kinda already aware. I just didn’t realize how um . . . ahhh,
different
you all are.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, and moves even further away from us.

Sophie, Sam, and I look at each other, and can’t help but laugh. “Who you calling different, buster?” Sam swims toward him and he moves to the opposite end. “Hey.” She stops swimming and brings her hand back down with force, scooping the water—and splashing Taylor.

Just like that, the intensity has been shattered by the playfulness and easiness of Taylor being clueless toward women. I watch as they play, and Taylor turns to catch my eye. He smiles at me, winks, and gives me a slight nod.

Dragging the side of my mouth up in a half smile, I know Taylor isn’t so clueless. He defused a potentially ugly scene, and it makes me wonder how much he’s seen in order to know when to do that.

“I’m going to get the grill started,” Dad calls to the four of us.

“I don’t know where Reece is,” I say looking to the other three.

Taylor shrugs his shoulders, Sam doesn’t even flinch and Sophie smiles at me. “I don’t know,” Sophie ends up replying. “I don’t have his number.”

The intensity from earlier is now forgotten, and for the past hour the four of us have been talking and swimming in the pool. “What do you all think of Mr. Collins?” Taylor asks as he stands beside the lounges along the edge of the pool. We’ve all been sunbathing, having had enough of swimming. My skin is starting to get too much color, so I lean over and grab the sunscreen.

“He’s a bit intense,” Sam says. “He seems like he’s everywhere.”

“Yeah I thought that too. The first day of vacation, Mom and I went to the mall to buy some stuff, and I ran into him three times while we were there. First time I didn’t think much of it, but when we saw him the third time, I made a joke asking if he’s stalking us,” Sophie says, squirting some lotion on her hand and rubbing it into her shoulders. “He smiled and said we must be stalking him.”

Looking over to Sam, I catch her puzzled expression. She lifts an eyebrow to me, her body language is subtle but it’s telling me she thinks how weird he is.

“I don’t know, I’ve never really noticed,” Sam adds looking away from me before anyone catches on.

“I think he’s weird and all, but I haven’t noticed either.” I offer a smile to back up my lie.

“Anyway, I’m going back in the pool. Watch out.” Taylor backs up, runs and jumps in the pool right near where we all are. He jumps high, holding onto his knees as he bombs in the water, splashing the rest of us.

“I’m in there too.” Sophie stands and goes to sit on the edge, water droplets hanging on her hair from Taylor’s splash.

“Sorry I’m late,” I hear Reece saying while he comes through the sliding door.

Smiling, I wave him over to where Sam and I are. Reece’s face lights up when he sees me, a broad smile brightens his features as his eyes sparkle. He walks over to my dad first, shakes his hand, says a few things then heads over to us. “Not swimming?” he asks as he slips his shoes off and sits beside me.

“Sam was gonna put some sunscreen on my back before I headed back in.”

Wiggling the sunscreen in Sam’s face, she arches an eyebrow at me. “I am? I’m going back in the pool.” She stands and jumps in, close to where Sophie and Taylor are swimming.

“Hey, brother.” Taylor swims over to the edge of the pool and holds his fist out to Reece to fist bump.

Reece smirks and gets up, returning Taylor’s fist bump and saying hello to Sophie. He then comes back over to me and sits down. “I’ll do your sunscreen. Just on your back?” He squirts some in his hand and looks at me, waiting for me to turn around. “Well?”

“Well what?” My pulse spikes and I become extremely nervous at the thought of having Reece’s hands on me.

“Do you want sunscreen or not?” He keeps watching me, waiting.

Sam glances back at us, her lips pulled up into a gleeful smile. Sophie swims over to Sam and both are having fun lying across a noodle each while sneaking small looks over to Reece and myself.

It takes every ounce of strength I have to turn around so Reece can rub sunscreen into my back. Closing my eyes I mentally and physically prepare to have his hands on me. I try to swallow past the rock lodged in my throat. Holding my hands together, I will them to stop shaking and trembling from fear of contact.

“Are you sick? You’re whole body is shaking,” Reece asks.

“I’m okay. Just tired.” Again the lie comes so easily.
I hate myself.

Keeping my eyes screwed tightly shut, I take a deep breath in, and hold it. Waiting for the moment he touches me, my shoulders come up in anticipation and edginess washes over me. The moment his big, warm hands gently touch me, I exhale loudly. Easiness bathes me and the anxiety my body was freaking out over, just disappears.

Reece lightly rubs his hands all over my back, massaging the thick, slightly oily lotion into my skin. “Hold your hair up,” his voice croaks. I lift my ponytail, and with tenderness he continues to apply lotion all the way up my neck and on my shoulders.

His strokes become more delicate, longer and softer. I hear his breath catch while his hands run down my arms and back up again. My own heartbeat picks up in pace and I feel my cheeks flush with a warm tingling feeling I’ve not felt in a while.

“Um,” I say, terrified at my body’s reaction to Reece’s touch. “Thank you.” I move away, to sit opposite him putting, distance between us.

“Yeah, no problem.” His own face has a slight red tinge to it, and he quickly takes his t-shirt off and leaves it in his lap before applying sunscreen to his own body. “So, what’s been happening?” he asks awkwardly.

Averting my gaze from his toned stomach and broad shoulders, I look over to where Dad’s standing in front of the grill. He’s waving his hand over it, checking the heat, while pretending he’s not watching all of us.

“Not much. Mom and I got everything ready earlier, and Dad cleaned the grill before anyone got here. We’ve all been swimming. Hope you’re hungry; there’s a ton of food.”

“Yeah? We’re going to have s’mores tonight, right?”

“Is it not an American teenager’s rite of passage to have s’mores at a family cookout?” I lift my brows at him and smirk.

“Well, of course.” He slaps his forehead. “How stupid for me to even ask. Well, bring on the food.” He rubs his defined abs, “’Cause I’m hungry.”

“You coming in?” I ask as I get to my feet and head over to the pool.

“Ah, yeah in a minute or so,” his voice croaks as he looks away. There’s a look of shame running through him. He’s avoiding my eyes, his voice is scratchy and he shifts uncomfortably.

Oh . . . crap.
It seems I caused a reaction to his body, like he did mine.

“Okay, well I’m jumping in. If you want a drink or something, there’s a cooler beside the barbeque. There’s soda, juice and water in it.” I point to beside Dad.

“Yeah, thanks. I might just sit here and let the sunscreen soak in.” He’s trying to conceal a smirk, but the tips of his red ears are giving away exactly
why
he’s not getting in the pool or going to get a drink.

“I’ll be in the pool.” I turn, run, and jump in right near Taylor who has his back to me. The weight of me lands under water, my head completely immersed and I push up off the floor of the pool toward the surface.

“Good one, Dakota,” Taylor grumbles and splashes water on my face. I have my mouth open, laughing at my spectacular entrance into the pool. Taylor’s aim isn’t deliberate, but I end up swallowing some of the pool water and begin to cough. “Sorry.” He swims over to me, remorseful at his actions. “I’m so sorry,” he adds, his face long and stressed.

I’m laughing, but thanks to the water I’ve swallowed I continue to choke-slash-laugh. “I’m good.” I take a few breaths, calming myself before looking at Taylor. He’s pale, and looks horrified. A few more seconds pass and I manage a smile. “Seriously, I’m fine.”

“Phew.” He breathes and swims toward Sam.

Laughing, I look back to Reece. “Come on,” I encourage him. He stands and runs toward the pool. “Crap.” I can tell this splash is going to be huge. Swimming as quickly as possible, I head over toward Sophie. Reece throws himself in the pool, landing on his stomach. The splash is so huge, I look over to Dad who’s putting the burgers on the grill, and he shakes his head with drops of water flicking off him.

“Man, that freaking hurt,” Reece says when he comes up from under the water. His torso is dark red from the belly-flop, and he’s rubbing his hand over it. “I won’t be doing that again.” I wince at his words, because his chest
looks
painful.

Swimming over to me, he smiles. “Good one. You even got Dad.”

He looks over to my father who’s watching us all closely in the pool. “Sorry, Mr. Bennett,” Reece calls over to my Dad.

“It’s just water, Reece. But I must admit, by the look of your very red chest, I’ll be hedging my bet to say you won’t be doing that again.” Dad rubs his chin with his hand, and chuckles to himself.

“You’re right about that. I won’t be,” Reece calls back.

“Good idea, son.”

Reece turns to me, his face as red as a fire truck. “I’m so embarrassed. I shouldn’t have done that in front of your father.”

“Dad’s cool. He would’ve told you if it made him angry, but he’s just cool about it.” Reece starts laughing, shaking his head as he runs his right hand over his eyes. “What’s so funny?”

When he stops laughing, his smile is huge. “One time, last summer, we were over at my cousins’ place. They’ve got a pool like this, but deeper. They’ve got a springboard at the deepest end. Anyway, my brothers and my cousins were all making bets to see who’d make the biggest splash.” He starts laughing again, and this makes me smile widely too. “When it was my turn . . . well, I was wearing a pair of my cousin’s trunks. He’s much bigger than me.” His laughing continues and I have a sneaking suspicion where this is heading. “Anyway, let’s just say when I came up from my dive, I went one way and the trunks went another.”