misunderstoodebook (22 page)

She needed to tell Johnnie all of it. She’d given her body to him, yearned for his kisses, so she needed to tell all.

Yes, Johnnie, I’m pregnant and my baby biker is yours.

Yes, I know Logan because he has my little sister.

Yes, I
had
to help Spoon.

I’m scared, Johnnie. I imagined hearing the baby’s heartbeat and I’m scared I won’t be able to let it go. I have to have the abortion, though. I’ll never be the same again, not after everything. And the baby will make me big and fat. Unwanted.

The phrases were right there bouncing around in her head. But, being a step away from straight-jacket wardrobe and rubber-room dwelling, she didn’t have the ability to free them from her throat.

Even though she felt safer with Johnnie—and Mortician—than she had in weeks. They’d tied her up, yes, but they’d treated her with an odd respect, too.

The way he’d looked at her made her sure he’d take her again once he reappeared. She’d certainly wanted to feel him inside her again. She’d wanted to show him he wouldn’t be able to resist her need to taste his mouth, luxuriate in that full, bottom lip of his.

Instead, he’d come out and told her a pizza would be delivered. While they waited, he’d take a shower. And, God, rubber-room Kendall had reappeared. She’d expected—
wanted—
him to invite her in with him. He hadn’t because he didn’t have split personalities. She did. She hadn’t seen him again until forty-five minutes later when the delivery man rang the doorbell. Johnnie had worn a pair of grey sweatpants. And nothing else. The tattoo on his back, a smaller version of the Grim Reaper on the clubhouse mural caught her attention because she had noticed it before. He had the build of an athlete with rippling muscles and a six pack so taut and tanned Kendall guessed she could flip coins on his stomach.

She’d been startled to realize that she still wanted to lick him from head to toe. Only the realization of how hungry she and Baby Biker were prevented her from making her move. They’d eaten in silence, a palpable tension dancing between them.
   

She’d tried to jumpstart the conversation. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-four in a couple months.”

“I’m thirty.”

He’d glowered at her, not interested in talking to her, so she’d taken the hint and shut up.

When they finished with the pizza, he’d announced it was time for bed and Kendall’s body had prepared itself for Johnnie because it couldn’t seem to remember the brutality men were capable of. She’d gotten wet and breathless, along with the biggest disappointment of her life. He’d shown her to the guestroom, told her to sleep well, and walked away without a backward glance.

Now, rain pattered down and nausea swirled in her, both adding to her gloomy mood. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t hide in the room forever. She glanced around. It would be such a pretty nursery with the light blue walls and white molding gave it a comfortable feel. The curtains matched the light blue and chocolate brown pattern of the comforter.

Her stomach growled and her pipe dream slid away. Baby Biker was hungry and it made her nauseated. Forcing herself out of bed, she walked to the door, the dark wooden floor cool beneath her feet. Opening her door, she stared down the hallway to Johnnie’s bedroom. Just when she got the nerve to start toward it, a noise from the kitchen caught her attention and spurred her to the bathroom directly across from her room. The scent of coffee turned her stomach and she scooted to the toilet, retching up bile. Baby Biker didn’t care if Kendall’s stomach was empty or not. This was only her third day of the godforsaken morning sickness.

Maybe, she wouldn’t gain weight.

Shivers raced Kendall. She’d never be free of her weight demons. Hunger raced through her and her head hurt. Just thinking of food gave her the sensation of expanding. Her hips widened and her stomach bloated. Her arms and legs lost their tone.

Her throat throbbed. She wanted…she needed to shove her fingers down her throat to take the weight away.

She’d lived on the fringes of society until her junior year in high school and she hadn’t had a prom date. Her weight and her height had made her persona non grata. Then, she’d found a way to make the hurt and humiliation go away.

Now, she was pregnant, a condition certain to make her gain weight, although extra pounds would be overlooked because of the baby. But after she delivered? When everyone realized her metabolism wouldn’t allow the weight to come off without drastic measures? They’d ignore her. Hate her.

Label her.

Every now and then, Spoon threw digs at her weight and height, playing on her insecurities. Since he had an abrasive personality, she’d overlooked how his comments had made her feel.

She didn’t believe she’d be able to do the same with Johnnie. Gorgeous and god-like, he’d want someone worthy to be at his side. The officers of his club were a beautiful group of men, too. From the small amount of time she’d spent in their presence, she knew
they
were also lunatics. And to the point.

To worsen her insecurities—if that was possible—Spoon had shown her photos of Megan Caldwell. Kendall couldn’t compete with the small, golden girl. Kendall would be mortified if…if any of them pointed out her flaws…compared her to the woman Spoon called perfect.

If any of the Death Dwellers but especially
her
Dweller. Smart ass extraordinaire with a lethal swagger. From the top of his sexily tousled, blond hair to his broad shoulders all the way down to his well-defined, long legs drew a woman’s attention. And the man’s arrogant charm melted the panties right off Kendall.

She groaned, her pussy heating up and dripping in need. He had the most beautiful cock she’d ever seen in her entire life—and she’d been up close and personal with several.

A pounding on the door jerked her head up. “You have two fucking minutes to come out, Kendall.”

Annoyance deepened his voice and Kendall’s nipples hardened. She squirmed and rubbed her eyes. Her desire and weakness for him pissed her off. She glowered at the door. “Go to hell.”

He chuckled. “I’m headed there, gorgeous, but, unfortunately for you, my time of arrival isn’t anytime soon. Therefore, come the fuck out now.”

Flushing the toilet, Kendall stomped to the door and cracked it halfway. “You have my phone and my purse, so I’m cut off from the world. It isn’t like I’m in here scheming for your downfall.”

“Witches have all sorts of special powers.”

He leaned closer to her, his mouth inches from hers, his fresh scent provoking all kinds of reactions in her. Nausea. Desire. Need.

“Finish shitting.”

Kendall gasped in disgust. “I wasn’t doing that, pig.”

His white teeth flashed, his delicious mouth curving into a blinding smile. “Doesn’t smell like it.”

Kendall slammed the door shut. “Go away, you disgusting asshole.”

His laughter floated through the doorway. “Soon enough, gorgeous.”

No doubt because, sooner or later, everyone left her. “Give me ten minutes.”

A moment of silence and then, “ten minutes,” he echoed. “Then I’m storming the fortress.”

Tempted to test him to discover what he’d do, Kendall shoved the thought aside. Bravery was one thing, stupidity was another. Challenging Johnnie was stupid. “Ten minutes.”

After washing her face and finding a new toothbrush in the linen closet, Kendall walked to the kitchen, stopping short at seeing the contents of her purse laid out on the breakfast bar. Johnnie’s big hand swallowed her cellphone as he stood and unapologetically scrolled through it.

Every time he moved, something jingled. The curling ends of his blond hair made him look like a fallen angel. He wore a grey suit, white shirt, and blue tie. Not at all the image of a big, bad biker. Unlike yesterday or the first night she’d slept with him.

“I had your car delivered here.”

She stared and he folded his arms, leaning back. Shoving down her simmering anger at his insufferable attitude, she licked her lips. “My car is outside?”

He nodded and cocked his head to the side.
Waiting.

A heartbeat of silence that frayed Kendall’s nerves almost to the breaking point.

His mouth curved into a cool, half-smile. “Yes.” He leaned his big body against the counter, thrusting his pelvis up, drawing her gaze to his erection.

Kendall swallowed. “I can leave?”

Johnnie lifted a brow and barked a nasty laugh. “No.”

Fury surged through her at the implacable word. “You’re using me as a fall guy for whatever’s going on between you and Spoon.”

“I can never mistake you for a guy.”

God, she could slap him for his sardonic words. He had a quick response for
everything
. Just once, she wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, rattle him like he kept her rattled.

A hot, delicious gleam entered his eyes. The lazy smile responsible for turning Kendall’s insides to putty and her brain to mush curled his mouth.
The Johnnie Effect
. That’s what Kendall was coming to recognize whenever he switched to the wicked sex god.

Impatient at her wayward lust, she shifted her weight, more nausea bubbling in her. “I only did what I needed to do.”

“By fucking with my club?”

Kendall stepped closer to him and flattened her palms against his chest. His muscles tensed beneath her touch. “Please,” she whispered. “I only did what I needed to do. And it wasn’t only you. I needed information on Outlaw, too.”

Johnnie grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “That information was going to be used for something. To frame us or blackmail us.”

“Let me go. The Dwellers don’t hurt women.”

“Bitches, far and wide, are working on my ass with that refrain. We need to announce our revised policy.”

“Which is?”

“Any threat to Death Dwellers is quickly extinguished. Trying to bring about the downfall of Outlaw, he,
we,
see as a threat to Megan. It’s our new policy to terminate
anyone
who’s a threat.”

Of everything else Johnnie said, Kendall honed in on one point. “Why do you call her Megs?”

He pushed her against the wall, crowding her space, the source of the clanking noise escaping her. It certainly didn’t sound like keys. “To me, she’s Megs and always will be.”

Kendall absorbed his scent, remembering his taste, ratcheting up her nausea.

Irritation surged in her and she shoved against him, but he grabbed her wrist and propelled her toward the bedroom she’d used.

He pushed her onto the bed and straddled her. He pulled handcuffs from his jacket pockets and Kendall finally identified the source of the jingling she’d been hearing.

Her surprised squeak turned to kicks and hisses, but his strength surpassed hers and he had her shackled to the bed within minutes.

“You’re going to pay for this.”

Brushing off his jacket, he shrugged. “If it makes you feel better to believe that, that’s fine.”

“Keeping hostages is illegal,” she spat.

“Then I’m one illegal motherfucker.”

“You could let me go,” she argued, twisting her body in a futile attempt to free herself. “Because if Spoon doesn’t hear from me soon, he’s going to get suspicious.”

Johnnie straightened his necktie. “I give a fuck about that how?”

She shot daggers at him. “The disappearance of a decent woman won’t go unnoticed. Kidnapping and murdering me could bring your stinking club down. Maybe not from law enforcement, but certainly from Spoon.”

“Because you’re a decent woman?” Johnnie asked with infuriating amusement. “I learn new shit every day.”

She growled in frustration. “Let me go.”

“Or what? Your baby’s father is going to kick my ass?”

“So you tie up pregnant women?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“I swear to you all kinds of terror will be reined on you for holding me against my will.”

He lifted a brow. “Really? By who?”

“Brooks,” she said after a painful moment of searching her brain to come up with a name belonging to
anyone
who’d give a damn about her.

A muscle ticked in his jaw and he swept his gaze over her body, his long lashes shadowing his cheekbones and hiding his expression. If she’d accomplished nothing else with her empty threat, she’d succeeded in removing Johnnie’s nonchalance. His body went rigid and the sardonic humor evaporated.

“You think? Whoever Brooks is, he’ll understand when I tell him my cock guided my decisions since you have such good pussy.”

“It amazes me you have a brain with the ability to think in any part of your body,” she snarled, bucking against her restraints and flinging careless words at him. “At least your dick can think. Your head is wasted space on your shoulders.”

He laughed. The asshole actually
laughed
at her. “You’re priceless,” he said around chuckles.

“You’re despicable.”

Not that her words bothered him because he nodded and turned toward the door.

He was really going to leave her tied to this bed. “No, Johnnie, please! Suppose I need to pee?” God, she peed more than a polecat now that she was pregnant. “When are you coming back? Are you going to leave me here and let me starve? Are you a passive-aggressive murderer?”