misunderstoodebook (39 page)

“Are you shitting me?” he managed, his gaze roaming between the two of them. Because, really, both of them had to be shitting him. Grandda that he and Christopher were brothers and Big Joe that Johnnie could leave without an explanation for that bombshell.

The quietness alarmed him. “Somebody better fucking answer me.”

“I had three children, Johnnie,” Logan began quietly and his long ago conversation with Big Joe came to him, the one when the man had told Johnnie his grandfather had had another daughter. “Your real father—“ He rubbed his eyes and he directed an uneasy glance to Big Joe. “That’s Christopher’s father, too. He got to Patricia without my permission. Forced himself on her. Wanted to get my attention for a few of my dealings.” He shrugged. “He was a fucking friend of mine and I got on his bad side. He said if I let him have Tess, the score would be settled. All I asked was he don’t tell her. She ended up with a baby, too, so I sent her away. I’d intended to put you up for adoption, then she went and died not long after she had you. Got pneumonia, you know? The man you know as your father—my son—had been with her. We found a slut for him to marry and then he claimed you as his own. I couldn’t bear to part with you.” Tears rushed to his eyes. “My little girl was gone and my other girl had been violated.”

Johnnie let out a roar of rage a moment before he sprung on his grandfather and toppled his chair. He landed on top of him and pummeled.

“VALENTINE! MORTICIAN!” Big Joe’s yell danced on the fringes of Johnnie’s rage as the man wrapped his arms around him, attempting to unclasp his fingers from around Logan’s neck.

“All these fucking years. Goddamn you,” he snarled through clenched teeth, trying to break his fucking windpipe. “I’m going to fucking kill you and send you to fucking hell where you belong.”

By now, Mortician and Val had arrived and were assisting Big Joe in physically removing Johnnie from Logan.

“Let me fucking go!” he raged, jerking against the hold of the three men.

“Not until you calm the fuck down,” Big Joe told him.

“Fuck you. All of you knew all this all along and never fucking told me?”

“Not all of us,” Big Joe said, shaking him and squeezing his shoulders. “Christopher doesn’t know. Can’t ever fucking know.”

Christopher. His cousin’s…no, he thought with bitterness. Not his cousin. His brother. Just the thought of Christopher made Johnnie sag.

“You know what it’d do to the boy if he found out both of you are bastards alike, but Logan made him pay for…” Big Joe’s voice trailed off.

Logan had made Christopher pay for everything. Each one of his sins had fallen on Christopher’s shoulders.

“Let me go,” Johnnie repeated.

“Nope,” Mortician said, “cuz if what I’m hearing mean what the fuck I think it mean, I don’t trust you not to go fuck Lowman up.”

“Not that he don’t deserve it,” Val offered, “but we don’t need more bullshit to this twisted fucking tale.”

Big Joe paced between them while Johnnie’s head raced, his body vibrating with emotion. Finally, Boss paused and righted the chair Logan was still strapped to. If only Johnnie could wrap him in live electrical wire and hose him down with a shitload of water just for the hell of it.

“As much as I fucking detest letting you fucking live after every-fucking-thing. I could kill you for today alone. I’m sending you away.”

Logan shrugged. “I’m fucking tired, anyway, Joe. That’s why I handed over everything to you.”

“You’re not tired enough to fuck over your grandchildren,” Big Joe bit out.

Another bout of rage in the man’s features and Johnnie suspected there was more to this scene. Because this was old news. Big Joe had insinuated discrepancies in Johnnie’s parentage ten years ago.

“You’re a sick motherfucker, old man,” Big Joe said, turning his attention to Val, Mortician, and Johnnie.

“I’m swearing you three to secrecy in this entire matter. I don’t even want fucking Joey knowing. You have to swear to me Christopher will never find out about any of the shit that was said today. As far as we know, Logan disappeared.”

Johnnie drew in deep breaths, still so furious he could cut his grandfather into little pieces and not lose one bit of sleep over it. But Christopher needed him. He could finally repay him for all the times he’d stuck his neck out on Johnnie’s behalf. They were family. Brothers.
Blood
brothers. And, in some fucked up twist of fate that only existed in Logan’s sphere, they were cousins, too. The sons of two sisters, fathered by the same dickhead.

“I’m fine, Mort. Let me go.”

“If you go ape shit again, I’m gonna be pissed like a motherfucker,” Mortician warned, releasing Johnnie from his tight hold.

“You wanna hear about your father?” Logan asked.

Mortician bit the tip of a cigar then spat it out. “Lowman, I got to say, motherfuckers don’t wear insanity and stupidity well when they combined. Your insane ass bad enough, You got to get stuck on stupid and ask the man if he want to hear about some fuckhole you sold his mother to.”

But Logan was one stubborn motherfucker. “Johnnie?”

“I don’t ever want to think about the motherfucker,” Johnnie growled. “Far as I’m concerned, Christopher’s my cousin and my father is your son. I’ll never acknowledge anything different and I don’t ever want to hear anything fucking different.”

“You can take that shit to your grave, Logan,” Val said. “Boss didn’t want to call John Boy Iceman for nothing. He can be one cold-blooded motherfucker.”

Logan nodded, the proud smile on his battered face giving him a grotesque look. “I know. He’s a man after my own heart and I couldn’t be prouder.”

“I don’t want to have anything after you,” Johnnie spat. “What I want to know is why, Logan? Why did you shower me with love and gave Christopher nothing but shit?”

“My daughter was raped. That little motherfucker was nothing but a devil’s spawn.”

Big Joe rolled his eyes.

“Save your fucking breath, John Boy,” Mortician advised. “Can’t reason with fucking deranged people."

It would take Logan’s reappearance for Johnnie to discover just how deranged his grandfather really was.

Chapter 28

Kendall huddled in a corner, the noises sliding through her, her overactive imagination conjuring all sorts of awful scenarios regarding Johnnie. She shouldn’t have left him. He might need her help against his grandfather.

“Meggie!” a woman called and a small hush fell over the place.

“Bunny!” a girl squealed, barreling into Kendall’s line of vision. She wore heels, black leather pants. A cut covered her hot pink top and when she turned, Kendall noted the words
Property of Outlaw
. Her golden hair curled at the ends, blanketed her shoulders and back. But it was her face that made Kendall’s breath catch and she knew she looked at Johnnie’s
Megs.

A small crowd had gathered around her. She accepted hugs from the women, but the men smiled and clapped her on the shoulder, as if she were untouchable. She worked her way through the crowd, unable to move very far without being stopped. She answered questions, pointed out various places as if she were giving information, and listened to whoever approached her, not bothered by the din that had returned after her initial greeting. The sounds of babies, laughter, shouts, curses, clanging glasses. With every step she took, she drew closer and closer to Kendal, Meggie removed her cut and folded it over her arms, revealing a small baby bump.

Finally, she reached Kendall’s table and greeted her. “Hi,” she said without hesitation. “It’s a bit of a shock returning home from my honeymoon to find the club on lockdown. I’m Meggie. You’re…?”

Of course, she wouldn’t know. In the hour Kendall had sat there, not one person had approached her. Instead of having this perfect girl come up to her, she preferred her anonymity. She met her blue gaze. “Kendall,” she responded, raising her chin and getting to her feet. “Johnnie’s.”

Meggie stared at Kendall, uncertainty flickering in her eyes. “Umkay.” She brushed her hand through her hair, her brows drawing together. “Johnnie’s what?”

She really had no good reason not to dislike Meggie, other than the fact of how much Johnnie liked her. She seemed friendly enough, not even blinking at Kendall’s height. Nor had she stepped back, just secure in her perfect world. Perfect girls had perfect lives and always had everyone falling all over themselves to protect them. Looking at her, Kendall knew Megan had never had to face anything worse than a broken fingernail, so she saw everyone without feeling threatened.

She’d never known the grief Kendall was feeling or the humiliation of having a man not want her.

“Are you Johnnie’s girlfriend?” she went on, not picking up on Kendall’s jealousy and surging irritation. Or just ignoring it. “Where’d you meet?”

“Yes,” Kendall said with a haughty sniff. “I’m his girlfriend and I’m—“ She almost blurted she was having his baby, but she stopped herself, not knowing who she knew. If the wrong person found out, it’d get back to Spoon. Kendall brushed off her words with a shrug. “I met him here, by the way. The night of Outlaw’s bachelor party who I’d been sent to entertain.”

Meggie processed the words for a moment before her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. “You’re the lady, aren’t you?” she almost snarled, taking a step toward Kendall. “The naked girl who was grinding on my husband.”

A small bit of doubt entered Kendall, and she questioned the wisdom of revealing that information. Meggie must know women threw themselves at her husband all the time. He might’ve been loyal enough to reject them and she might’ve been wallowing in that knowledge, but Kendall knew about
real
life. She nodded.

Her hand fluttering to her belly, Meggie stiffened. “And now you’re Johnnie’s girlfriend?” she asked with clear skepticism.

Digger stepped behind Meggie and wrapped his arms around her waist. She startled but she didn’t panic. “If it’s not Mrs. Caldwell,” he said, winking at Kendall, not picking up on the tension between them.

Meggie chuckled and laid her hands atop his. “Hey, you.”

“I see you met John Boy’s bitch,” he said conversationally, sucking in a breath and releasing Meggie when she slapped him.

She glared at him.

“Fuck, man. I’m going to have to unbitch my days now that you back.”

Instead of responding, Meggie rolled her eyes and nodded to Kendall. “We’ve met,” she said with haughty coolness, then squeaked in horror. “Mama!”

Digger looked over his shoulder and winced. “Oh, yeah—“

Meggie scooted around him and rushed forward, both Kendall and Digger forgotten. The woman Meggie greeted when she walked in joined Meggie and helped guided a woman wearing a man’s shirt, her face bruised and swollen, toward the hallway.

Hushed and not-so-hushed whispers surfed through the stunned crowd, but Kendall ignored them, squirming under Digger’s scrutiny.

“Meggie like fucking everybody, Red,” he said, “but you pissed her the fuck off.”

“We can’t have that, can we?” she said with bitter sarcasm, plopping down into her seat and glowering at the wall.

“No, the fuck we can’t,” Digger snapped, taking the other seat without invitation. “You get on the wrong side of Meggie, you get on the wrong side of the fucking club. Now what the fuck did you say to her?”

“I told her how I met Johnnie.”

Digger choked and groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. “You didn’t fucking tell Outlaw wife you came in here and tried to fuck him. Tell me you not that fucking stupid.”

She wasn’t that stupid, but she was that jealous. “Does it matter so much?”

Meggie reappeared at the table, her frantic panic giving Kendall a perverse pleasure. “I’m going to my house, Digger. See my son.” She drew in a deep breath and Digger stood, taking her into his arms.

“You tired and shit, Meggie girl. You had a long fucking flight and you got that new baby, so calm down.”

“Did you see her?” she whispered. “My mother…”

Kendall snorted. “This is real life,
Megs
. Must be a shock when you don’t have Outlaw and
Johnnie
to keep the boogie man at bay.”

“What the fuck?” Digger snapped, his mouth thinning in anger.

Meggie stilled for a moment, sucking back her tears and staring at Kendall. “You’re Johnnie’s?” she hissed with an unidentifiable emotion, as if she couldn’t believe Johnnie could want her.

“Yes. Didn’t I say so?”

“Then get off your ass and act like it,” Meggie ordered, bristling. “I have to find my husband and my son. I need you to get up, stop being such a provocative witch, and see what people need.” With a final, dirty look, the blonde stomped off.

In the wake of Meggie’s brittle words, all Kendall’s bravado deserted her and her face crumpled.

“Kitchen doors behind the bar, Red,” Digger said, lighting a cigarette and puffing on it. “See about food.”

She slanted a glance to him. “Because she said so?”

Another drag, then he shrugged. “Yeah. Then, again, you fucking grown. You can sit your ass there and
not
listen to Meggie. Just remember: you wanna fucking pit yourself again Prez girl, you’re gonna fucking lose every time.”

“Johnnie wouldn’t—“

“Play that fucking game if you want, Red. You make him choose between you and her…” He pointed to her with his cigarette. “He might choose you. You giving him pussy and shit.”

He was so crude and disrespectful, playing on her overwrought emotions and bitter jealousy. She doubted he did it on purpose, but it still grated. “I’m having his baby.”

Digger paused for a moment. “He know?”

“Of course,” she returned with haughty indignation.

“Okay. Still don’t mean shit, though. John Boy’d choose you over Meggie.”

“Because of the baby?”

Cocking his head to the side, Digger scowled. “Does it fucking matter? He’d choose you over Meggie. That shit should be the most important thing.
However
, he real close to Outlaw and if you put John Boy in a situation where you fucking with Meggie…well, you’d lose him in the end.”

“She’s that important to him?”

“Fuck, Red. Shit away whatever the fuck crawled up your ass. You here, huh? This is lockdown. Brothers and their family supposed to be on premises. He brought you instead of dropping you off somewhere. Remember that before you go fucking batshit over Meggie girl.”