Mixed Messages (A Malone Mystery) (22 page)

Should I tell Annie that David is cheating on her
?
he wondered. Maybe, if she knew that, she’d divorce him and, maybe she’d turn to me for comfort and support. Then, she’d see how much I care for her and we could
start our life
together. He sighed, imagining how wonderful that would be. But, he suddenly thought, what if she already knows? What if she’s decided to stay with him
in spite of his cheating
because of the kids? If that’s the case, she might be embarrassed that I know and feel uncomfortable around me. Then, she’d avoid me and I wouldn’t stand a chance with her. No, he decided, I’d better keep my mouth shut.

A few minutes later, he heard David’s voice coming from the heat vent in his bedroom
but he couldn’t make out the words. He
hurried
across the room and sat down on the floor with
his head tilted toward the vent.

David was shouting at Ann
ie
.
“Well, what does that tell you, Ann
?
I have to be drunk to
have sex with you!”

Lawrence was appalled
.
What a horrible thing to say to Annie, he thought
.
He doesn’t
deserve to have her
!
How can he not realize how lucky he is
?
I would never talk to her that way
.
I would thank God every day that she was my wife
.
He pressed his ear up against the vent, straining to hear
.
He couldn’t make out the rest of what David was saying
.
He sat there, on the floor, for a long time
.
Then
, just as he was about to get up, he heard the muffled sounds of
Annie
sobbing
.
She sounded so sad
.
He wanted so badly to comfort her.

I wish there was something I could do, he thought
.
He
pictured
himself dashing into
her
apartment and rescuing her from her undeserving, cruel husband
.
He smiled as a thought occurred to him.
I’d be her hero
like a cowboy on a white horse riding in to save the day
.
I’d be her hero and she’d fall in love with me and, like in the old movies, we’d ride off into the sunset together and we’d live happily ever after
.
He sighed
.
If only
… .

Every woman
he
had
ever
desired
had rejected
him
. I know what it feels like to be
unwanted
, he thought
.
To want someone so badly and have them turn their back on you or, even worse, humiliate and ridicule you
.
That’s what David did to Annie.
I would never do that to
her
.
I would love
her, protect her,
and take good care of her
.
She shouldn’t be with him
.
She should be with me
.
She needs someone who would appreciate her, someone who’s mature, someone older and wiser; she needs me
.
But how could he convince her of that?
Therein lies my dilemma,
he
thought, as he
got up slowly from the floor and
went
over to his bed.

He lay back against his pillows and stared up at the ceiling for a long time. “Think
positive,” he said aloud over and over
again
.
Focus on the solution, not the problem, he silently told himself
.
Think
about Benjamin Franklin
.
He had trouble relating to people all of his life until, when he got older, he realized that
he
had to change
.
He was determined to lead a happy life and he did
.

And, what about Abraham Lincoln
?
Same story, really
.
He was a bit of a hothead in his youth and even in his twenties and thirties
.
However
, like Ben Franklin, he turned his life around
.
Many
famous people throughout history led ordinary, even boring lives but, usually in their forties
,
fifties
or sixties
, they made up their minds to change their lives and they did
.
Damn it,
he
thought, it’s not too late for me to
change and
have what
I
want in life.

He closed his eyes, fantasizing about what his life with
Annie
would be like and how happy they would be together.
But, after several minutes
, he
still couldn’t sleep; he was too agitated.
I think I will go out, he decided
. Maybe that will
help to
clear my head.

He got out of bed,
put on his clothes
and
tiptoed out of his bedroom
.
He
made his way through the apartment
in the dark
.
He didn’t have to worry about bumping into any furniture because it was
arranged to allow enough space for Olivia to maneuver easily in her
wheelchair.
Years of practice had taught him
which floorboards
creaked
and he was careful to avoid them. He had to be quiet; he didn’t want to disturb his mother.

Annie doesn’t love me yet, he thought, as he
grasped the solid oak banister and
headed
down the stairs
. But, if I try hard enough, I know I can find a way to
make
her love me.

* * * *

Olivia heard the click of the latch as Lawrence closed the living room door behind him.
Evidently, he was having another one of his restless nights. That seemed to be happening more frequently lately.
She
’d
never asked him why he sometimes
sneaked out
in the middle of the night because she didn’t want to invade his privacy
; she knew
that
he was a person who needed his space
, his alone time,
and she’d always tried to respect that
.
I know there’s something bothering him, she
worried
.
I wish he’d confide in me. But she knew
that
she wouldn’t ask him;
if he wanted to talk
, he would come to her.

Chapter
2
2

Thursday,
October 30th

WHEN THE ALARM WENT OFF
the next morning, Ann felt as if she hadn’t slept at all
.
Her body ached and she had a nagging headache right between her eyes
.
That’s what happens when you cry
most of the
night, she thought, recalling the humiliating scene with her husband the night before
.
I felt like such a fool
, practically
beg
ging
him to have sex with me and then
having him reject me
.
It hurt so much; it still hurts
.
All I wanted was
to have
the closeness
back
between us
.

Well, she told herself, no time to feel sorry for yourself now
.
It’s time to get going
.
As she swung her legs over the side of the bed, she realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that today was the day she would start her new job.

When she walked into the kitchen, Danielle and Davey were putting on their jackets, ready to leave for school.

“My God, what time is it?” Ann said aloud.

“Hi, Mommy!” Davey said, as he rushed toward Ann and hugged her.

“
Dani
, where’s your father?”

“Daddy set the alarm for later for you, Mom. He said you needed extra sleep today because
you’re starting your new job.”

“Yeah,” Davey whispered, “Daddy told us to be real quiet.”

“You don’t have to whisper now, you dork,” Danielle said.

“
What about breakfast?
Did you eat breakfast
?
Did Daddy give you lunch money?” Ann asked.

“Daddy fixed us breakfast and packed our lunches,” Danielle replied, holding up a lunch sack
.
“We have to go now
.
Hope you have a nice day at work.” She blew her mother a kiss and ushered her little brother out the door
.
As she turned to leave, she said, “Oh, I almost forgot
.
Daddy left you a note
.”
She pointed toward the refrigerator
.
“Bye, Mom.”

After the kids were gone, Ann sat down at the kitchen table, rubbing her temples with both hands
.
“Coffee
.
I need coffee,” she said aloud
.
She went over to the counter and filled a large mug with coffee, adding sugar and creamer
.
As she leaned against the counter, sipping her coffee, she spotted David’s note
.
She pulled it loose from the magnetic clip
that
was holding it to the door of the refrigerator and unfolded the paper.

“
Dear Ann,”
she read
.
“
I am so sorry about last night
.
I hope y
ou know how much I love you
.
I never mean to hurt you, I swear
.
Please forgive me
.
Good luck today
!
Love, David.”

A tear slid down
her
cheek
.
What a weird day this is starting out to be, she thought
.
She sat back down at the table and thought about the night before
.
Where did I go wrong? she wondered
.
I did everything Dr. Thatcher told me to do
,
but it didn’t work
.
What do I do now
?
When she’d finished her coffee, she took the empty mug to the sink
.
She couldn’t believe her eyes
.
The dishes from breakfast were washed and stacked to dry and the counter had been wiped clean
.
Definitely a weird day.

An hour later, she left the house. It had felt so good not to have to rush for a change. Thanks
to David getting the kids ready for school, she’d been able to take a long, hot shower and take her time getting ready
.
By the time she walked out the door, her headache was gone.

As she stepped out onto the sidewalk,
she
looked up at the branches of the
tall
maple, oak and elm trees
that
lined both sides of the street
.
Vibrant
shades of
red, yellow
and orange
leaves were silhouetted against the
cerulean
sky
.
As she passed her neighbors’ houses on the way to the church, s
he breathed in the cool, fresh air
.
She
shuffled her feet through the dried leaves
that
had
fallen and
accumulated on the sidewalk,
smiling as she listened
to the crackling, rustling sound
.

A few houses up
the street
she paused to gaze at the row of brilliant red burning bushes in one of the yards
; t
he sight was breathtaking
.
She watched a young man in faded jeans and a tee shirt as he unwound a garden hose and squirted several window screens
that
were lined up and
propped
against his house
.
I guess it is time to put the storm windows in, she thought, wishing that summer had lasted longer, knowing that winter was on its way
.