Mogul (12 page)

He rubbed her shoulder with his hand. “If
anyone deserves one, it’s you,” he said softly.

She touched his hand with hers, drawing his
attention to where she now wore her ring. He said nothing, though
he couldn’t help how it stirred that little spark of hope he still
had for them.

It was a spark that had practically caught
fire in the last few days. She was turning to him again for advice
and comfort; she was here in his house.

Maybe… just maybe… things weren’t really
over.

Maybe…just maybe… she’d see that the best man
for her was the one who had never let her down. There were no
complications with his love, aside from the fact it wasn’t what she
truly wanted.

For some reason he couldn’t quite understand,
she wanted a man who had always put her last on his list. Now that
Holly was pregnant with his child, he feared that was unlikely to
change.

He sensed she feared it too, which was why
she’d come to him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said softly. It
was probably more than he should have said, but he couldn’t stop
himself.

She grasped his hand in hers. “You’re my
dearest friend,” she stated simply. “Where else would I be?”

He pulled her back into a lingering hug. He
stopped short of telling her he loved her. He knew she could feel
it. He hoped that it helped.

After she had left, he stayed to himself in
his room. He wanted to relive every moment they had been together.
He wanted to memorize how warm and real she had felt in his arms.
He remembered how she felt under his hands when he had finally been
able to make love to her. He could still feel the imprint of her
body, the soft peaks and valleys, in the palms of his hands.

The more he thought about her, the more he
stirred. He had kept his hunger under wraps for months, but now he
raged with desire for her…so much so that his own touch was
insufficient. All he could think of was how she felt in his arms.
Now that his sensations had returned to vital parts of his lower
body, he wanted to feel her again. He wanted all of her. God help
him, he still wanted more that she had ever offered to give.

He was frustrated when he finally emerged
from his room that evening, restless and agitated. He found Maggie
sitting on the deck, watching the tides roll in.

She seemed just as restless. She had avoided
him all day, ensuring that they were in separate rooms even when it
meant she sat freezing on the deck outside when he finally came out
into the living room.

He took a blanket from a shelf and walked out
to where she sat shivering in the cool night air. “Chilly night,”
he commented as he put the blanket around her shoulders.

She nodded absently. Truth was she hadn’t
been able to feel anything. She was still numb from finding Andy on
their doorstep that afternoon.

Had she really entertained the thought that
he could get over his insane crush for that woman, and turn to her
and find true love instead?

What a fool she had been… as foolish as
Graham himself.

He sat in the deck chair next to her. “You’re
awfully quiet today. Are you okay?”

Her eyes met his, and he was instantly struck
by how sad they were. “I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking,” she
said.

“About?” he prodded.

She looked back out at the ocean. “About us,”
she finally answered. She took a deep breath. “I think it’s time
for me to move on.”

He fell back against the chair. “What?
Why?”

She swallowed hard. “You’re doing well, much
better than we expected. I don’t think you need my level of care
anymore. Maybe it’s time to move on and find someone who does.”

He was dumbstruck. Somewhere along the line
she had crossed over from nurse to roommate, even friend. It was
inconceivable that she’d ever move on. As far as he’d come, he
still had further to go. He always expected her to match each step
of the way. “But I need you, Mags,” he said.

She shook her head. “No, you don’t, Graham.
You have a life full of people who love you.” She swallowed the
lump in her throat. “People you love. Those are the relationships
you need to be focusing on now, not some temporary
nurse-for-hire.”

He reached for her hand and turned her to
face him. “If that’s all you think you are to me, you are sadly
mistaken. You’re my best friend, Maggie.”

She smiled and fought like hell not to cry.
Never had the word ‘friend’ been so bittersweet. Then he had to
make it even worse.

“Hell, you’re more than a friend. You’re
family – like the sister I never had.”

She pulled her hand away and slid from the
chair. Immediately he stood to his feet too. “Maybe that’s the
problem,” she said. “Maybe I’ve become too much of a crutch. Maybe
you could do much better, have a more fulfilling life, without me
here.”

She was talking nonsense. “Where is this all
coming from, Maggie?” he wanted to know. “Is this because of
Andy?”

She turned away from him and headed toward
the house. He was quick to follow, though it still took significant
effort for him to do so. “What you do with your personal life is
none of my business,” she said without turning back to face him.
“I’m in no position to judge your choices.”

He grabbed her arm and yanked her around to
face him. “But that’s what you’re doing. I could see it in your
eyes earlier. I know you’re mad at her…”

“This is not about being mad at her,” Maggie
bit out. “I’m mad at myself.”

This confused him even more. “Why?”

She took a deep breath. “I was here to do a
job and one job only: to get you mobile. And I have. My job is
done.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m on my
feet but you know how much I still need your guidance and direction
to get back to where I was. We’ve talked about our plans for the
future…”

“Your
future,” she clarified softly. “I’m just the staff. I
shouldn’t be living in your house, under your roof, next to your
room, day after day. I can’t keep living and breathing my job,
Graham.”

His arm dropped. “Is that what I am to you?
Just another job?”

She crossed her arms in front of her. “You’re
my client and I’m your nurse. And you don’t need me here 24/7
anymore. You are independent and strong and getting your life back.
But where does that leave me? When do I get my life back? When do I
get my future?”

It hurt her to say the words, but hurt worse
that he didn’t argue. He didn’t correct her, saying she was more
than the hired help. He didn’t offer her a life with him. He simply
stood there, speechless, as he tried to digest this new
development. Everything was fine between them that afternoon. They
had eaten a late breakfast on the patio, then joked and teased
through their daily routine of specific exercises. She gave him a
massage and put him in the whirlpool bath, just like every other
time before.

Then, when he got out of the tub and found
Andy on his couch, the congenial mood evaporated. She disappeared
from sight and he spent the day moping in his room.

And now Maggie wanted to leave.

He couldn’t believe it… but he didn’t know
how to argue with her to make her stay. She was right; she was
there to do a job. Maybe it was inappropriate for her to stay in
his house now that he no longer needed constant supervision.

Maybe she had needs just like he had
needs.

He had never quite considered that
before.

His eyes traveled all across her face. She
was lovely, but in a more subtle way. Her beauty radiated from the
inside, and was so understated that anyone on the street might pass
her by and never notice the kind of warrior spirit and generous,
devoted nature she had.

But she was a woman, and a woman needed to be
loved, appreciated… valued. She had traded in romance for duty
after her husband died, but clearly she was feeling the void that
he had left.

In that moment Graham wanted to take her into
his arms and hold her like a woman should be held, but he knew it
was extraordinarily inappropriate. All he could say was, “I’m
sorry.”

She bit her lip as she nodded. The limits on
their relationship hadn’t changed. She had just let her dopey,
sappy, romantic daydreams about something she couldn’t have run a
little too wild.

She’d broken her own rules. She’d stayed too
long. She’d gotten too close.

“So am I,” she said softly before she turned
around and headed to her room to pack.

There were tears in her eyes as she did so,
hoping beyond hope that he’d show up at her door and beg her to
stay… that he’d take her into his arms and tell her what a fool he
had been for not recognizing what he had in her. In her fantasies
he’d come to his senses, stop chasing after an immature girl, and
turn finally to the woman who was willing, and ready, to give him
her world.

But each moment passed like the one before
it. The clock in the hallway echoed loudly, breaking the empty
silence like symbols clashing, bringing home the sad realization
that Graham didn’t call her bluff.

She gathered her suitcase, stuffed down her
tears, and called for a cab.

When she reemerged she found him sitting on
the sofa in the living room, nursing a drink. He looked somewhat
surprised that she was choosing the late hour to leave. He couldn’t
have known one more night separated by a wall would have been the
end of her. She had to leave – now – before she lost her nerve.

He struggled to his feet. “Maggie, you don’t
have to leave now.”

She nodded. “Yes, I do.”

He walked to where she stood. “But you have
no place to go,” he pointed out. Then he added, “Do you?” as if he
had never considered it before.

She smiled. “I’ll be fine, Graham. I’m
thirty-six years old. I’m a big girl. I think I’ll be okay on my
own.”

He was still confused by her about-face. But
she was determined, and he knew already how strong her will could
be when she was determined. He sighed and reached for his
pocket.

“Graham, I have enough money,” she started
but he shook his head.

“It’s not money.” He produced a key. “I want
you to take one of the cars. You still work for me, right? Consider
it a company car. I need to know that you can drive to the office
and to the studio and to the house whenever you want.”

A car. She wanted his heart, and he offered
her a car. She sighed as she stared at the key in his hand. If she
had any sense at all, she’d quit that instant. But then she looked
into his face, and those beautiful eyes that were so kind and so
hopeful. Even though he couldn’t say the words, she knew he still
needed her. And God forgive her, she couldn’t turn him down. She
took the key and nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Same therapy
schedule,” she instructed, all business… the hard-ass Mags he loved
best.

He gave her a lopsided grin. “It’s a date,”
he teased, but the words seem to pain her further. She turned on
her heel and headed for the garage.

After she was gone he looked around his empty
house. He finished off his drink and headed to bed, to dream about
Andy and a baby boy who looked just like him.

CHAPTER NINE

Redondo Beach, California

February 21, 2011

Andy was awake before the alarm sounded that
Monday morning at seven o’clock. She glanced over at Vanni, who
still slept soundly with his arm around her, cuddling her close.
Their weekend had been rough, with his going to see Holly and
ensure that she was getting the proper care and that the baby was
okay. He had wanted to move her closer to Redondo Beach, but Andy
put her foot down. If he was insistent upon having two separate
families then by God they were going to stay separate. Andy didn’t
trust Holly as far as she could throw her, there would be no
congenial “sister-wives” relationship between them. Andy would
never punish a baby for the sins of the mother, and she was trying
her best to make peace with the idea that her child would have a
sibling that did not come from her, but the less she had to do with
Holly, the better.

The whole thing had put a wedge between her
and Vanni. She had grilled him about specifics with the hospital
visits to the point where he grew snippy. This situation was hard
on him, too; it didn’t make things any easier for anyone for her to
ask questions that would ultimately pain her. He really rather
preferred that everything that happened with Holly be a totally
separate thing that never touched Andy. And for the first time it
wasn’t even because he was trying to juggle both women. He may not
have told Holly about the engagement, but he made it clear that he
was going to stay with Andy. She had screamed at him to the point
where security removed him temporarily from the room. He was
waiting just outside when Julian showed up, which made things even
more awkward. Julian played the “protective older brother” well,
right up to the point he told Vanni if he ever did anything to hurt
Holly or the baby he’d hunt him down and tear out his heart.

“You seem to forget that you have a rap sheet
as long as your arm,” Vanni told him softly. He didn’t cotton to
being treated like the bad guy in a situation they knowingly
created.

“Just don’t you forget it,” was Julian’s
warning before he disappeared into the hospital room. An hour later
he exited, and told Vanni – who still waited – that Holly had
calmed down and decided he could go back into the room.

But she reiterated that she wanted it all,
otherwise there was no point.

He gestured around the room. “This is the
point, Holly,” he had told her. “You needed me to help you save our
baby. Look at how you live. You’re holed up in a roach motel,
eating crap, sick as a dog to the point you ended up in a hospital.
Are you really willing to risk our baby over where I happen to
live?”