Moment of Weakness (Embracing Moments Book 1) (13 page)

“Yo, lovebirds! The line is moving.”

Roman dropped his hands from the buckle and clamped his mouth shut at the sound of the prepubescent voice. Children. Got to love them, right? They have a way of saying the funniest things. But damn, if I didn’t want to turn around and give the little runt the biggest wedgie in the history of wedgies. At the moment, I figured it was best if I avoided eye contact with anyone, especially Roman. Moving forward, I walked through the gate and bolted onto the track.

“That was some impressive driving, Miss Parker.”

Excitement buzzed through me from winning the race. Not only did I beat Roman, but I also beat the rest of the suckers on the track. Spending most of my childhood summers here with Theo and my father really paid off. Offering the sweetest smile I could, I reached my arm out and held out my hand between us. I felt slightly guilty for taking his money; it’s not like I needed it, but a bet was a bet. Roman reached into his back pocket, pulled the one-hundred-dollar bill from his wallet, and placed it in my hand.

“It’s cool. You’re probably going to need this anyway,” he said, grinning. “You’re going to be taking a huge pay cut with a simple psychology degree.”

Every muscle in my body tensed. The color drained from my face, and the excitement I was feeling just seconds ago vanished. The smile on my face faded. Joking or not, his words sliced right through me.

IT WAS A
strange feeling having someone you barely knew know everything about you. Roman noticed the shift in my demeanor because his eyes filled with regret. Folding the bill in my hand, I turned around. My eyes fell to a little boy sitting on a bench with his parents. He had a red balloon tied around his wrist, and chocolate ice cream dripped from the side of his ice cream cone.

“Daddy, can we ride the train before we go. Pretty please!”

“I’m sorry, son, we spent the last of the money on your ice cream cone and balloon. Maybe next time.” Sadness tugged at the father’s face as he patted the little boy on his back. The smile that graced the boy’s face quickly descended into a frown. Without even thinking, I walked over to the little boy and knelt down in front of him.

“If it’s okay with your parents, I’d like you to have this.” I placed the one-hundred-dollar bill in his hand and watched his big brown eyes widen. “I think that should cover the cost of a train ride.”

The little boy’s face lit up. A smile stretching from ear to ear was on full display as he looked over at his father, ice cream smeared all across his chin. They stared at each other for a moment, and I waited there kneeling as the silent conversation passed between them. The corner of the man’s lips creased up, and I knew just what that meant. The little boy turned back toward me and flashed me a big toothless grin.

“This is awesome! Thank you so much, lady!” Grabbing his parents by their hands, he dragged them off the bench and pulled them toward the train. The little boy’s father glanced over his shoulder and mouthed the words “Thank you.” I smiled at him and gave a small wave before turning and walking away.

Weaving through the crowd of people, I made my way over to Roman who sat on a bench watching me. My eyes met his as I sat down beside him. A warming smile graced his lips, and I thought to myself how much handsomer he looked with a smile on his face.

“That was nice what you did for that little boy.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, pausing and looking around. I blew out a small sigh. “I think I’m ready to go home.”

Roman’s eyes fixed on me and I noticed something move behind them, concern perhaps. He ran his hands down his jean-clad thighs and then leaned back so he could grab his phone from his pocket.

“You sure? It’s only nine o’clock. I haven’t even redeemed myself in laser tag yet,” he said, teasingly. I ran my hands along my arms, willing away the goose bumps that appeared out of nowhere.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said, standing up. “I think I’ve kept you here long enough.”

Roman’s hand grabbed mine, and the tiny spark that started in my fingers raced up my arm. He turned me toward him. “You know that doesn’t matter, right? We can stay if you want to.” A small part of my brain wondered if he was telling me this because he wanted to stay.

Pulling my hand from his, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and said, “I’m actually kind of exhausted.”

That was true. I was exhausted, but not from being tired. The exhaustion came from the roller coaster of emotions I had from just being around him.

He nodded at me. “Okay,” he said, his voice a gentle whisper. He stood up. “Do you mind if we stop and get some cotton candy on the way out? It’s been so long since I’ve had any.”

“Sure,” I said, turning around, trying to remember which way led to the exit.

As we walked away, Roman’s hand landed on the exposed lower portion of my back. I realized why he had done it. The park was still busy, and it was a way of making sure I was within a safe distance. But what he didn’t know was how badly his touch affected me. Every step I took caused his fingers to glide back and forth along the top edge of my shorts. And each time they did, a little shock soared through me, most of them hitting me right between my thighs.

We made one stop at the sweets cart so Roman could purchase his cotton candy and then exited the park. My head spun with thoughts of Roman and my mother. The anniversary of her death was less than a week away, and as the date drew closer, the harder it became to keep it all together.

“I wished for you, Julia.”

The muscles surrounding my heart tightened, and my chest burned. The suffocating feeling I got every time I thought about her made it hard to breathe.

Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.

I chanted to myself as we walked across the parking lot. Minutes later, we were in the car driving toward home. Thankfully, my mini panic attack subsided as soon as we hit the highway. Roman didn’t appear to notice it, and if he did, he didn’t say anything, which was good, because I couldn’t handle someone asking me again if I was okay.

“Do you want any?” Roman held the clear bag filled with pink and blue fluff toward me.

I shook my head. “No thanks.”

He grabbed a handful out of the bag, and I watched his face twist into pure delight as he placed the cotton candy in his mouth. “This is so good. You don’t know what you’re missing,” he said, grabbing more from the bag.

I laughed softly, my mind trying to grasp on to the image of Roman eating cotton candy. I didn’t understand why he kept people out. What happened to this strong, beautiful man that had him building up walls around himself? The person I was with tonight made me laugh and had me smiling internally and externally more times than I’d like to admit. His claims of not being easy to talk to didn’t make sense, because despite the fact I had butterflies whenever he was near, he
was
easy to talk to.

For the most part, the ride home was quiet. The only exception was the light music playing through the speakers, and even that subsided when Roman leaned forward and turned the radio off. I didn’t ask him why he did. It didn’t bother me if we listened to music or not, but the look on his face told me he wanted to say something.

His voice broke through the silence. “I don’t know if I offended you, but if I did, I’m sorry.” Did he offend me? Maybe a little. I had my reasons for majoring in psychology, and none of them had anything to do with money. How could I make him understand without telling him? The answer was simple.

I couldn’t.

My father and Theo didn’t even know the reasons that fueled my decisions. Sharing that information with Roman would mean letting him in. And
that
was not happening. I struggled to find the words to explain what it was I was feeling.

“When you mentioned my major, I realized it was just one more thing you knew about me. Do you have any idea how difficult that is? All you need to do is click a mouse to get the answers you’re looking for.” I paused, sucking in a small breath. “I feel like an idiot, because here I am, trying to just learn more than your name.”

His entire body shifted in the seat so he was facing me. “You’re right. There is a lot in that file, but it’s not enough. The things I want to know about you are nowhere in that file, Julia.” My grip tightened on the steering wheel. “I want to know how you always seem to carry a smile on your face despite the fact you’re broken inside.”

My breath caught in my throat. I glanced over at him, my eyes locking with his.

“But what I really want to know . . .” He paused, and I noticed the ball in his throat move up and down as he swallowed. “I want to know what goes through your mind when you look at me—like the way you’re looking at me right now.”

Every ounce of emotion I had ever felt for this man just bubbled up to the surface. His beautiful green eyes bore into mine, a burning desire bouncing between them.

“Roman, I—”

The sound of Roman’s phone cut me off. I wanted him to ignore it, press the silence key, and send it to voice mail. If I was ever going to have the courage to say what I wanted to say, it was right now. Disappointment hit me as he reached into his pocket and answered it.

“Hayes,” he barked into the phone, his voice raspy.

We were no longer on the highway, so the wind died down to a level that was barely noticeable, allowing me to hear the voice of the caller. The voice was that of a woman. I knew he said he didn’t have a girlfriend, but man, did this feel awkward.

“Yeah, I haven’t been home.” He paused, his eyes glancing over at me. “Right now isn’t a good time. I’ll call you later.” He pulled the phone from his ear, disconnecting the call. The look on his face told me he still waited for me to say something, but any courage I had blew right away with the wind when he answered his phone. Our large black gate came into sight, and I punched the code into the little metal box.

A few minutes later, we pulled into the garage.

“Thanks for coming out tonight. I know you didn’t really have a choice, but I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, but a word of advice, Miss Parker. Next time a man pays for you, at least give him a heads up if you’re going to try to ditch him immediately afterward.” His voice was playful.

I chuckled. “Yeah, sorry about that.” A small smile developed on my face.

He grinned. “It’s cool.”

I turned the engine off and undid my seat belt. My purse sat between us, and as I went to pick it up, Roman’s hand grabbed mine. Turning my palm right side up, he brushed his thumb across the center of it. He leaned back in his seat and reached into his pocket. His large hands made it impossible to see what he was grabbing, but then he placed it in the center of my hand, and a strangled gasp parted my lips.

My eyes lingered on the glistening blue rhinestones I knew so well. The delicate clip sat in my hand upright, looking as though it was a real butterfly perched there. “You’re always wearing it, I figured—”

“Thank you,” I said, cutting him off. I had taken it out and set it down on the railing so I could put my helmet on. I completely forgot to grab it before running on the track. “My mother gave me this the day she died. If I would have lost it, I don’t—I just . . .”

The words sputtered between my lips. Nothing I said could ever express how grateful I was. I looked over at him, hoping that my facial expression would be enough.

“You’re welcome. Good night, Miss Parker.” He smiled at me, and then before I knew it, he stepped out of the car and disappeared through the door of the garage. I pulled back some of the pieces of hair that framed my face and pinned them to the back of my head with the clip. Once I made sure I had everything, I opened my car door and stepped out. Pulling my cell phone from my purse, I unlocked it to see if I had any missed calls or text messages.

“You asked me a question earlier, and I never answered you.” My head jerked up at the sound of Roman’s voice. He stood in the doorway of the garage, his back straight, shoulders back, eyes fixed on me. “You asked me how you looked earlier and you see . . . I never answered because the truth is—I couldn’t.”

Why was he telling me this? I glanced around making sure there was no one else with us, and when I didn’t see anyone, I turned back toward him. His eyes never left my face as he stalked toward me. My heart pounded in my chest, and as he stepped closer, I took a step back, trying to keep distance between us.