Moments Lost and Found (19 page)

 “Samantha, when you were a
little girl, do you remember getting spanked on your birthday? However old you
were, that’s how many spanks you’d get from your friends. Do you remember
that?”

Sam nodded. He must have doubled the
belt because when it cracked on her ass she felt the thickness of it. “I asked
you a question, Samantha.”

Sam had no idea what the question
even was anymore, so she just answered, “Yes, sir.” Which earned another low
chuckle from him.

 “Good girl. Now, since it’s
your birthday, I think in honor of it, and that tradition, that’s what you’re
going to get. I am going to take my belt to your ass 40 times. But you have to
count. If you don’t, then it starts over at zero. Are you with me, Samantha?”

 “Yes, sir.” She answered even
though she hated counting out loud. Somehow, the act of that made it
embarrassing, humiliating. But right now, this is what she needed. She wanted
to be hurt. She wanted to be humiliated. She needed to be punished. She knew
the physical pain was nothing compared to the mental pain that would come when
she told him. But at least the physical pain would make her forget for a
moment.

 “Excellent.” And with that he
started. Even though she asked for this, it still surprised her how much it
hurt. He started slowly, alternating between cheeks, then he picked up the
pace, and as he did, the blows got harder and harder. With each blow, Sam
yelled out a number. After 20 or so, her ass was on fire but she didn’t want
him to stop. Sam started crying, shaking, which quickly turned into sobbing,
but she welcomed the pain. Laurent stopped, he’d never made her cry before.

 “Please, please don’t stop,
Laurent. Please.” She pleaded through her sobs. Reluctantly, he continued,
though he backed off the intensity. Even still, Sam continued to whimper. When
he got to 40 he dropped the belt and immediately started rubbing her bottom.
Sam was panting, her ass was burning, but she wanted more, she wanted more
pain. She straightened up slowly and picked up the bathroom sashes from where
she had put them on the bed and silently held them out to him. She knew she
must have looked a mess, mascara stained cheeks, puffy eyes, blotchy skin. But
she didn’t care. She just wanted to be hurt.

 “You don’t need a rest,
Samantha?” he asked warily.

She shook her head, “No. I want you
to tie me up and take your belt to my breasts, and my pussy. Please.” She
looked down embarrassed that she could even utter those words. But she somehow
needed this, she needed the pain. “Please, Laurent.”

 “Lie down on the bed with your
legs spread and your arms above your head.” He took his other belt and wrapped
it around her wrists and then fastened it to the headboard. Then he pulled her
legs so that she was taught and the tied each leg to the bottom bed posts. She
was completely secured and helpless.

 “Look at me, Samantha.” She
opened her eyes and found him at the foot of the bed in between her legs, “I am
not going to go easy on you,
Cheri
. I don’t know what’s going on, but I
can tell you need this. So I am going to give it to you. But if it gets too
much you have to let me know. Do you understand?”

 “I understand.” Her voice was
barely above a whisper.

 “Do you still want this,
Samantha?”

She nodded, “I do. I need this.”

He nodded. He almost seemed
reluctant, even though he had done this to her before. Was it different because
she was asking for it? Or was it because it was less about part of sex and more
just pure punishment and pain? There was no way for him to know. He walked over
and took a long sip of champagne, then held her flute over her mouth and said,
“Open” which she did and he poured some of the dry, bubbly liquid in, slowly,
giving her time to swallow.

She licked her lips and said, “Thank
you.” which earned her a small smile from him and then she said, “It’s ok,
Laurent. I want this.”

Laurent started with the belt on her
nipples. Like with her backside, he started slowly, deliberately, switching
from one to the other. As he continued, the pacing and intensity increased.
Every now and then he’d hit her mound which was such an intense pain, that was
also intense pleasure. Sam lost track of how long this went on. She knew tears
were falling from her eyes, but she wasn’t crying. She was just feeling the
stinging which was both pleasurable and painful. She felt like she was floating
somewhere between reality and somewhere else. She was aware of the pain, there
was no way she couldn’t be. But she felt like she was somehow transported. He
could see that she was no longer completely present and at this sign, finally,
he stopped.

He quickly took of his clothes and
straddled her. He kissed her roughly as his tongue invaded her mouth. He ran
his hands up and down her outstretched arms then down her tender breasts, which
just brushing over them brought on sensation and started bringing her back to
the present. He tenderly sucked at the nipples and then he moved down her body
kissing her stomach and finally making his way to between her legs.

He licked her slit lengthwise,
lapping up her juices. She knew that she was probably soaking wet. Then he
buried his face in her alternating exploring between her folds, and pushing his
tongue all the way in, then sucking on her clit, then back again. He knew he
was teasing her. He knew that all this sensation was bringing her close to the
edge, but every time he felt her body stiffen and quiver he would back off and
move to a different part until finally she was panting and writhing as much as
her restraints would allow her to move, “Please, Laurent, please.”

 “Please what, Cheri?” he
looked up at her. God he could be infuriating.

 “Please fuck me, Laurent.
Please, please make me come.”

He chuckled as he raised himself
over her and before he entered her he said, “You’re becoming very insistent in
your old age.” She finally smiled which made him happy. He leaned down and
kissed her deeply so she could taste herself and with his tongue in her mouth
he entered her deeply, in one thrust, making her gasp. She opened her eyes to
find him smiling over her, “Is this what you wanted?”

Sam nodded and eeked out a “yes” as
he continued the onslaught. She writhed but still being tethered couldn’t get
the position she needed. Somehow he knew this and stopped long enough to untie
her legs, making her smile again. When he started up again, he brought her legs
to his shoulders which produced a long, low groan from her. That seemed to
incentivize him to go deeper and harder until finally, all the build up, all
the tension from the day, everything came crashing as she violently exploded
around him. As her orgasm rolled on, he came too.

After a few minutes he reached up
and undid the belt around her wrists and slowly massaged each arm and wrist as
he brought them down to her sides. Laurent turned to his back and Sam inched
next to him so that her head was on his chest and her leg draped over his. He
stroked her back as they lay there until Sam drifted off to sleep.

When Sam awoke, she had no idea how
long she’d been out. It was dark outside but she knew it couldn’t be that late,
she felt like she had just napped for a few minutes. Actually, she never felt
like she had actually fallen asleep, she was in that limbo where she processed
outside noises but would drift off only to have dreams that were grounded in
reality, but slightly off. All of her thoughts and dreams revolved around her
meeting earlier that day, but she wove in the belt-play she just received. Far
from erotic, the dreams all had George in them, and all involved the belt. Sam
felt scared and alone and unsure until she finally awoke. And even then,
knowing that her dreams weren’t real didn’t make her feel any better.

Sam lay there for a moment listening
to Laurent’s even breathing, her head still on his chest. When she stirred to
move, his arm stiffened, holding her in place. Then he shifted so he could look
her in the eyes.

 “How are you feeling,
Cheri
?”
he asked so tenderly, stroking her face.

The corners of her mouth turned up,
“Waking up with my head on your chest, hearing you breath, that makes me feel
good. Safe.”

 “That’s very nice to hear,
Samantha, but it doesn’t answer the question.” His voice was both tender and
stern.

The truth was, she didn’t know how
she was feeling. She did feel good lying there with him. But she didn’t want to
think about everything else. Maybe she could put him off a little longer. “I
feel fine?” she said, more of a question than an answer. She wasn’t sure what
answer he was looking for.

 “Samantha, I tried not to push
earlier, but after… that,” he didn’t finish before Sam interrupted.

 “After what?” she asked
defensively.

 “After what we just did.” Now
he was sounding upset. Like what they just did was wrong or bad or something
they’d never done before.

 “You’ve tied me up before.
You’ve spanked me before. What do you mean, ‘after what we just did?’” She had
an edge to her voice.

 “Samantha, please don’t insult
me.” His tone went cold and she stiffened. He registered that and softened when
he continued “Yes, we’ve done all that before, but,” he paused like he was
searching for the right way to say it, “but it was always about pain bringing
you pleasure, being a part of the pleasure.” Again, he paused, “this time, it,
it was more like you wanted pain as punishment.” He was still searching and
then finally said, “It was like you wanted me to hurt you.”

Laurent was the one who had
introduced the spanking and bondage and playing into their relationship. But
even for him, this felt different. This wasn’t about sex or playing or
dominance or submission. It was clear to him, and perhaps to Sam if she would
allow herself to go there, it was clear it was purely about punishment.

It was obvious she wasn’t going to
be able to keep things separate for as long as she had hoped. There was no way
she’d be able to hide her emotions from him for the rest of the weekend. She
laughed to herself that most women complained that the men in their lives
weren’t mind readers. And here Sam had a man so in tune with her that she
couldn’t get away with anything. What she wouldn’t give right now for a normal
oblivious man.

She sat up in bed and faced Laurent.
She was physically and emotionally drained. Empty. She was naked, literally and
figuratively. Perhaps telling him like this was best. She squared her shoulders
as if bracing for a fight, though truthfully, she had no fight left in her. She
lowered her eyes and when she was finally ready, she raised them, exhaled, and
said, “My meeting today with the new CEO of TimeCap,” she swallowed. She
couldn’t believe she was about to say this, “The new CEO of TimeCap, and of my
newest account is George LaRue.”

For an experienced businessman like
Laurent, keeping emotions in check, even when caught off guard, could mean the
difference between closing and losing a deal. Sam had been in enough situations
with him that she had seen the split second where the Laurent she knew was gone
and his façade came up. Whatever emotions he was feeling were immediately,
expertly tucked away. She knew this look. She could almost see and hear the
wheels turning in his brain, processing the blow that Sam just dealt.

 “You spent the afternoon
meeting with George LaRue.” He stated, rather than asked. His voice was so
cold. So flat. So devoid of any emotion other than pure disgust. Sam nodded.
“And then, you came back here, to our hotel room, to be with me, to try to hide
it from me,” Sam tried to interrupt but he just held his hand up, effectively
shutting her down. “And to distract me, or to prevent any conversation about
it, you had me whip you, beat you, punish you.”

This time, he did let her speak, “I
wasn’t trying to distract you, Laurent.” She hated how weak her voice sounded.
She knew this was not a battle she would win as she could already hear the
pleading in her voice.

 “But you didn’t tell me, did
you, Samantha?” Sam wanted to look anywhere else but into his eyes. His eyes
bore something so ugly in them. Like he was suddenly repulsed by the sight of
her.

Sam just shook her head and tried
for an explanation, “I didn’t want to talk about it yet. I wasn’t ready. I
didn’t want to ruin our evening.” Even she knew she sounded lame. Her voice
trembled, “and I’m telling you now.”

He let out something akin to a laugh,
but there was no happiness in it. “You didn’t want to ruin our evening?” he
laughed again, “I’d say it’s a little late for that, Samantha.” He closed his
eyes and shook his head. When he opened them and looked at her he said, “Now I
understand why you wanted the belt. You feel guilty. You feel like you need to
be punished.” His tone made her feel so dirty.

 “You’re wrong.”

He laughed again, “
I’m
wrong?
Please, do enlighten me how.”

She shook her head, “Ok, you’re
right, I do feel guilty. I did feel like I should be punished I guess. But more
than that, I just wanted something to make me numb. I thought if you took the
belt to me, the physical pain would block out what was going on in my mind.”

 “And what was going on in your
mind?” he spat with such disgust that she finally reached for the sheet to
cover herself. She was already so emotionally exposed, it didn’t really matter
though.

Sam shrugged, “I knew you’d be
upset.” And before she could finish he threw his hands in the air and for the
first time ever, he yelled.

 “UPSET? YOU THOUGHT I’D BE
UPSET?” then he lowered his voice so that it was just ice. “What I am feeling
right now, Samantha? This is
light years
beyond upset.” He shook his
head and then said,  “Of all the people, knowing what you know about him,
about how he betrayed me, stole from me, you would work with him?
How could
you?
”

 “It’s business Laurent. When
we pitched the account, I had no idea he was the CEO. He was in none of the
meetings. And he probably won’t be in any of the ones moving forward. I’m sure
this meeting was a formality. There’s no reason the day to day of their new
rebrand will have anything to do with him.” Even as she said this, as
reasonable as it sounded, part of her doubted it.

 “Trust me, Samantha, if you
weren’t going to be working with him, then you wouldn’t have met with him.
Nothing with George is just a formality. There is always,
always
an
ulterior motive with him.”

 “What could his motive
possibly be, Laurent? He’s awarding me the account for what reason other than
it came down to two campaigns and he and his team liked ours best for their
brand? What could he possibly get from me other than a new look for his
company? I don’t have any trade secrets that he’ll weasel out of me, or inside
information about anything. I’m in advertising for God’s sake. There is no
angle here.” Sam was now getting angry. As she talked she realized that what
she was saying was true. Maybe she had just projected that Laurent would be
upset but there was really no way their worlds would collide, was there?

 “You don’t think it’s awfully
coincidental that you won the account?” His words were like venom.

 “Coincidental?”

 “That you’re with me. That
he’s trying to get to me through you.” He said it like she was an idiot.

 “And you think that’s the only
reason why we won it? Do you know how insulting that is?” Her voice was getting
shrill.

 “Samantha, you’re a rational
woman. You really think I have nothing to do with this?”

 “God you can be arrogant.” She
shook her head and then asked rhetorically, “What was I supposed to do, not
accept the account because he’s trying to somehow hurt you?”

 “You don’t know him,
Samantha.” Laurent said. He knew he couldn’t tell her what she could and
couldn’t do with her business.

 “You’re right, Laurent, I
don’t. And I doubt I will have much occasion to. He’s the CEO of TimeCap, they
have tens of thousands of employees. I highly doubt he’s going to be looking at
layouts.”

 “I look at everything that has
to do with my company, Samantha.” Again, he said this like she was slow.

 “But it’s
your
company,
Laurent, a private company. He’s been placed by a board as the CEO of a public
corporation. There’s no way that the way you have been involved in the launch
of The Network would ever happen in a large conglomerate like TimeCap.” She
knew this was true. She was starting to feel like there was no point in this
argument. That is, until Laurent said,

 “I see that you would rather
throw away a life with me than his account.” All the emotion was gone. It was
almost said with resignation.

 “Laurent, don’t you see that
right now, my entire world revolves around you. Everything! Not just my
personal life but my business too. Can’t you see that it’s not about you versus
George? It’s about me protecting my company, diversifying?”

His mouth was in a flat line, his
arms crossed. Sam knew enough about body language to know that he was walled
off, closed to discussion. “Samantha, you call it ‘diversifying’. I call it
hedging your bets.” The way he said that cut to her core. “You’re so worried
that things might end between us, you’re so sure that if you have too much with
me, that as soon as you relax, I’m going to pull the rug out from under you and
your whole world will come crashing down. You have so little faith in us.”

 “That’s not true, Laurent. I
love you, I love our relationship. But I have to be practical. I can’t have
everything in my life wrapped up with you. You’re a businessman, you should
understand that.” Sam hated that her voice sounded like she was pleading, but
she was desperate to get him to see her point.

 “You’re right, Samantha. I am
a businessman. But I am also a man.” And that seemed to explain it all.

 “You’re really going to make
me choose, Laurent?” She knew the answer to that question as Laurent finally
got up out of bed and walked out of the bedroom. She didn’t know where he was
going, but she couldn’t sit there and just watch him. He effectively ended the
conversation by literally turning his back on her. She got up and went into the
bathroom. She needed to take a shower. She needed something to wash away what
had just happened. She would come out clean, maybe a little refreshed, and they
would have a chance to discus this after they had both taken a break.

She turned on the shower and let the
water wash over her, waiting for it to start healing her. But the longer she
stood there, the clearer it became that they might never see eye to eye on
this. She knew she couldn’t turn the account down, walk away from millions, and
the expansion of her company, of everything she had ever worked for. Would he
really choose? Would he really have not expanded his empire because of a woman?
She doubted that. He would have chosen the work, she was sure of it.

She dried herself and put on the
robe that was hanging there. Of course, there was no sash, that was still tied
to the bed post. An ironic reminder of what they had done just a couple of
hours before. Now it felt like a lifetime ago. How quickly things could change.
She hoped that once they both had this little break that they could talk
rationally.

When she walked out into the bedroom
she saw the closet door open and his clothes and suitcase gone. Her heart
started pounding.
This can’t be, he couldn’t have just left.

She went to the living room and
looked around, she even went to look out on the balcony. She couldn’t believe
that he would just leave her. She spun around in a state of shock.
He left.
He really just walked out. On my birthday. My 40
^th
birthday.

As Sam started to go back into the
bedroom, something on the desk by the front door caught her eye. A small,
square, black velvet box with a note under it. Sam felt sick to her stomach.
There was only one thing that could be in that box. She picked up the
handwritten note,

Samantha,

This was supposed to be my surprise
to you for your birthday. I was going to ask you to spend the rest of your life
with me. I know what I want. I’ve made my decision. But like I said, it’s your
choice. And you must choose.

L

Sam didn’t have the courage to open
the box. She started shaking. Her legs buckled under her and she collapsed onto
the floor as she wondered what she had just done.

When Laurent walked out of their
hotel room in New York, he felt even more betrayed than he had all those years
ago with George. Back then, he was young, and had something akin to blinders on
when it came to those close to him. For so many reasons, he was completely
shocked and surprised when he found out what George had done to him. First,
because Laurent had considered George family. He didn’t think of him as an
employee, he had known him his whole life, and to be betrayed by someone so
close, someone whose motives he had never questioned, someone he felt like he
gave to unconditionally, the hurt he felt was eye-opening. For a long time,
Laurent blamed himself for being so trusting. He had learned to be shrewd and
cunning with the outside business world, but he didn’t ever think he would have
to be that way with someone so close to him. Over the years, he realized that
while some of the fault lay with himself, more of it was on George. That George
could do that to someone who was like a brother said more about him than
anything. But regardless of where the blame lay, the incident changed Laurent
forever.

There had been many key defining
moments in Laurent’s life, and that was one of them. It hardened him and made
him believe that the only people he could truly trust were his blood relatives.
Everyone else was an outsider. If someone he had known since he was six years
old, someone he felt he gave the world to, could steal from him, then he
couldn’t trust anyone.

Having these walls up did make for
him to become an even more successful businessman, not that he wasn’t before,
but any sympathy or emotion that had existed before George’s betrayal was now
gone. The deals that he made were black and white. Until of course he met
Samantha. She was almost like a female version of himself, at least insofar as
she was singularly focused on her work. Unlike many of the women he had dated,
she never seemed to want anything from him. She didn’t need his money, she had
already done very well for herself. She wasn’t interested in being seen as his
girlfriend to elevate her status, if anything, she shied away from the
publicity. It was so clear to Laurent that she wasn’t after what he had, that
he let his guard down for the first time since the incident with George.

Laurent knew how afraid Samantha was
of being with him, of losing herself in their relationship, of being defined by
him. It was because of this that he continued to show her that he wasn’t there
to shape her, to mold her, he was just there to be with her. He respected that
she had her own world, her career. So, if she wasn’t after anything from him,
he assumed she couldn’t possibly hurt him.

But he fell in love and let her in.
And the one person in the world who had nearly destroyed his faith in humanity
all those years ago, of all the people, that one person had insinuated himself
into Laurent’s life again to ruin what was good and pure.

Once the anger subsided, Laurent was
able to see a bit more clearly. He did blame Samantha. She knew that except for
himself, George and an outside accountant, no one else knew about what George
had done to Laurent. She knew that he chose to share that with her, and only
her. She was a smart woman, smart enough to understand how much that had hurt
Laurent, and how much he trusted her to share that with her. So yes, he did
blame her for going into business with the one man who had once hurt Laurent.
But he also knew that she couldn’t possibly understand just how bad George was.
That type of pure evil, that type of sickness, thankfully, most people never
witnessed it.