Mommy Tracked (35 page)

“Yes. Black, please.” Margo sat down at one of Anna’s cane-back kitchen chairs and fixed her daughter with a penetrating look. “So what’s wrong?”

“Wrong? What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong,” Anna said. She poured a cup of coffee from the drip pot and put it on the table next to Margo. “Do you mind if I work while we talk? I have to knead this dough.”

“You only bake bread when you’re upset about something,” Margo said. She blew on her coffee and took a careful sip. Charlie brought over his coloring book to show his Gigi and beamed happily when she said, “That’s a gorgeous picture! What a talented boy!”

“No, I don’t,” Anna said.

“Yes, you do. You don’t think I know my own daughter?” Margo asked.

“It’s nothing.” Anna shrugged. “It’s just been hectic at work. And you and I haven’t been speaking.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Margo said, clearly not believing this was the whole story.

Anna sighed and tucked her hair behind her ears. “And…well. I’ve been wondering…” This was hard to admit. “Maybe you were right. About Noah, I mean. And about my being too rigid.”

Margo’s face lit up with a huge, self-satisfied smile.
“Really,”
she said, drawing the word out.

Grrr
, thought Anna.

“Look, never mind,” she said grumpily, and went back to pounding her dough.

“Anna.” This time Margo’s voice was gentle, and when Anna looked up, she saw the concern on her mother’s face. “Just don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“What mistake?”

Margo sighed and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. “After your father left, I swore I’d never let another man do that to me. Desert me, leaving me alone and wounded.”

Anna stared at her mother, not comprehending. “What are you talking about? You dated all the time,” she said.

Margo nodded. “That’s right. I
dated
. I went out and had fun, and as soon as I sensed the man was getting too attached—or, even worse, if I was getting too attached—I stopped seeing him.”

Anna struggled to make sense of this new perspective. Her mother—her vain, flirtatious mother—was a commitmentphobe? Even more disturbing, her mother’s confession that her fear had kept her from getting too close to another man mirrored Anna’s own revelation about herself.

“I never knew you felt like that,” Anna said.

“Oh, yes. Then you grew up and moved out, and now I’m all alone,” Margo said sadly.

“You’re not alone. You still have me. And Charlie.”

Margo smiled fondly down at Charlie, who had dragged his toy xylophone out from his room and was now banging away at it. She had to raise her voice to be heard above the cacophony.

“Yes, of course I do. And I have my work.” Margo was a nurse and worked part-time for an orthopedist. “But still. It would have been nice to have someone to come home to. Someone to travel with.”

“I can see that,” Anna said, thinking,
Oh, my God, is this how I’m going to end up? Lonely and miserable because Charlie’s grown and I don’t have anyone to go on a Caribbean cruise with? And I’ll just get older and older, and Charlie will probably marry some awful woman who won’t want me to move into their in-law suite, and they’ll stick me in some horrible retirement home and only visit me once a year on Mother’s Day?

It was such a depressing vision of her future that Anna felt wobbly for a minute, and she had to draw in a deep, steadying breath and grip the counter.

“Are you okay?” Margo asked, her brow knitting in concern.

“Fine. I’m fine.” Anna took in one more deep breath and then decided what she had to do. She’d made a mistake—a terrible mistake—and now she had to see if she could make it right.

“Mom, would you mind watching Charlie for a bit? I have an errand I have to run.”

“Of course,” Margo said, with a knowing smile.

“Thanks.” Anna pulled off her apron and smoothed down her pink oxford shirt.
Should I change? Slap on some makeup? And, oh, God, what’s going on with my hair?
Anna raised a self-conscious hand to her chopped locks, which were still in the growing-out stage.

“You look beautiful,” Margo said. She stood and wiped some flour off the tip of Anna’s nose. Then she placed a cool hand on Anna’s cheek. “You’ve never looked lovelier.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Anna said. She took in another shaky breath and wondered why she suddenly felt like she was going to cry.

“Now go get him,” Margo said. She picked up the peace lily and handed it to Anna. “Give him this.”

“Really?” Anna asked, looking at her lily doubtfully.

“Yes, really.”

“Okay, I’m going. Wait—what about Charlie?”

“Charlie will be fine. I’ll take him over to the playground.”

“I know he’ll be fine
now
. But what about later?” Anna asked.

“He’ll be
fine
, Anna. He’ll be fine because he’s your son.”

And suddenly Anna’s eyes were blurring, and her nose got the tingly feeling it always did when she cried.

“Okay. Wish me luck,” Anna said. And then, the peace lily tucked under one arm, she walked out into the glittering Florida sunshine.

The bell tinkled as Anna walked into Bacchus, clutching the plant to her chest like a safety blanket.

“Hi, can I, like, help you?” a young woman behind the counter asked. She was pretty, with lots of dark eye makeup and hair dyed the color of maraschino cherries. She was also thin, with—Anna couldn’t help but notice—very large, very perky breasts.

Oh, God
, Anna thought.
What if Noah’s started dating his store clerk?
Suddenly her imagination began to spin out of control:
Noah noticing the nubile young woman, admiring her as she stocked the shelves…The two of them kissing and clutching at each other in the back room…Noah’s newly found appreciation for young, pert breasts not made saggy by breast-feeding. Oh, no, no, no
, Anna thought, as an even worse possibility occurred to her.
What if he’s proposed to her? He does have a track record of doing that.

She was just about to back slowly out of the store and bolt to her car when Noah came out of the back room, holding a heavy crate in his arms. He stopped when he saw Anna, his eyes looking very dark and guarded behind his metal-framed glasses.

“Hi,” Anna said.

“Hi,” Noah said. He turned to the shopgirl. “Leah, why don’t you go take your break.”

“Sure thing,” Leah said, grabbing a canvas tote bag from behind the counter and bouncing off happily. The doorbell tinkled again as she left.

Hmmm
, Anna thought.
Okay, so they’re probably not dating, or she wouldn’t have been so thrilled with being asked to leave. Well. Unless she’s so self-confident in her perfect body that she doesn’t view me as competition, that is…. No, no, no. Of course Noah isn’t sleeping with his shop assistant. He’s too ethical for that.

And then there was the not-so-small matter of the way Noah was looking at her, as though he wasn’t exactly unhappy to see her, but a bit warily, as though not sure why she was there.

“I just stopped by to give you something,” Anna said. She thrust the lily at him.

“Thanks. What is it, exactly?” Noah asked.

“It’s a peace lily,” Anna explained.

“A peace lily?”

“Yes. You know—it’s a plant.”

Noah finally laughed, although his chuckle seemed reluctant. “Yeah, well, I sort of figured that part out on my own,” he said.

“The peace lily,” Anna gestured toward the plant, “is meant to be a symbol of peace and reconciliation.”

“Isn’t this the plant people give to mourners after they’ve lost someone?” Noah asked, frowning down at the lily.

“Yes, that too. But that’s not how I meant it.”

“So you’re not giving me a plant of death?”

“No! I’m trying to—oh, crap. This isn’t coming out right at all. When my mom gave it to me this morning, she—”

“Wait: Your mom gave this to you?” Noah asked, his forehead wrinkling with confusion.

“Well, yes,” Anna said. “But she told me to give it to you.”

“Your mother told you to give me your plant?” Noah repeated. “And why exactly did she want you to do that?”

“Because…” Anna stopped and took a deep breath.
Here goes nothing
, she thought, hoping that he really, truly wasn’t involved with his shop assistant. Or anyone else, for that matter. Or that he’d decided that neurotic single mothers were too high maintenance for him. Or that that he wanted to take a break from dating altogether.

Gah, stop it
, Anna told herself sternly.
Just tell him how you feel. The worst thing that can happen is that he says no, he doesn’t feel the same way. That would be mortifying beyond all sense, true, but you’ll survive.

“Okay, what I wanted to tell you is…” She drew in another steadying breath. “I made a mistake when I said I didn’t want to see you anymore. A big mistake. And I’ve missed you. So that’s why I came over with the stupid plant, to tell you that. And to say I’m sorry. For everything,” she finished awkwardly.

Noah was quiet for a minute, and Anna found herself holding her breath as she waited for his response. Then, not able to stand the silence anymore, she blurted out, “But if you don’t want to give me a second chance, I totally understand. All you have to say is no, and I’ll go away and never bother you again. Or bring you plants.”

Anna couldn’t bear looking at him, so she stared down at the dark-stained floorboards of the shop.

“A second chance?” Noah finally said.

“Yes,” Anna said. “I know I don’t deserve it, but—”

“Don’t deserve it?” Noah said. This time his voice was incredulous. “You just need a second chance. That’s nothing. I’m the guy with four ex-fiancées looking for a fifth chance.”

Only then did Anna let herself look at him and really see him for the first time since she’d arrived, peace lily in hand. She saw the angular planes of his face—the slightly crooked nose, the strong jaw, the just-too-thick eyebrows. She saw his eyes, which looked more hazel than brown today. She looked at the soft curve of his mouth as it smiled down at her. Anna’s heart sped up a bit, and a magically warm feeling flooded through her.

I love him
, she thought.
I really do love him. When the hell did that happen?

“A fifth chance. I think I can manage that,” Anna said softly, and a smile spread across her face. And she kept smiling, even after Noah pulled her close and kissed her.

Then suddenly she pulled back and looked up at him. “Why didn’t you ever call me?” she demanded.

“What?” Noah asked.

“You never called me. Not once. You just stopped by to drop off my purse that day after…well, you know,” Anna said, blushing a bit. “After our last date. But you never called.”

“You told me not to call. I was trying to respect your wishes,” Noah said. He looked perplexed.

“Yes, but how did you know I really didn’t want you to call? How did you know that I wasn’t just playing hard-to-get? That I was
saying
don’t call but that it was really a test to see if you
would
call?” Anna asked.

“Because we’re not sixteen years old?” Noah said, now looking amused.

“Hmmm,” Anna said suspiciously. “You’re not seeing anyone, are you? You haven’t gotten engaged to anyone since we last spoke?”

Noah snorted. “No.”

“How about Leah?”

“Leah? You mean Leah that was just in here? With the bright red hair? And the ten tattoos?”

“Yes, that Leah. Wait—how do you know she has ten tattoos?”

“You’re jealous.” Noah smiled down at Anna, and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close against him. “Mmmm, I like it when you’re jealous. And when you go into reporter mode and start interrogating me.” He bent forward and nuzzled her neck.

“You haven’t answered my question,” Anna said.

“No, I’m not seeing Leah. And I know she has ten tattoos because she spends an inordinate amount of time wondering out loud where she should place her eleventh tattoo.”

“Oh. Well. Okay, then.”

Noah kissed her again, this time more intently. Leah came back in, holding a pink fruit smoothie in one hand. When she saw Noah and Anna embracing in the middle of the store, she stopped, and her mouth formed an O.

“Should I, like, come back later?” Leah asked.

“No,” Noah said firmly. “We have to”—he gave Anna a sly glance—“go take care of something. So you’re in charge, Leah.”

“’Kay,” Leah said, her combat boots clomping on the wooden floor as she made her way back to the counter.

“Where are we going?” Anna whispered, as Noah put a hand on her arm and started to guide her out of the store.

“My place,” Noah said decisively. He shot her a sideways smile. “As fast as my car will drive us there.”

epilogue

Three Months Later

H
ey, sweetie, it’s
me,” Grace said when Anna answered the phone.

“Hey, you! How are you feeling?” Anna asked.

“I wish everyone would stop asking me that,” Grace grumbled.

Anna laughed. “So, what’s up? I can’t talk now. I’m right in the middle of my column.”

“I was just calling to see if you and Charlie wanted to come over on Saturday night for a farewell party.”

“Absolutely,” Anna said. “Can I bring anything?”

“You could bring Noah.”

“Or a peach cobbler,” Anna said.

Grace sighed with exasperation. “You’re going to have to do it sooner or later.”

“Okay, then I choose later,” Anna said. She’d been as yet unwilling to let Noah meet Charlie. Or, more accurately, unwilling to let Charlie meet Noah, until she was sure where her relationship with Noah was going.

“You’ve been dating for months,” Grace said.

Anna shrugged, before remembering that they were talking on the phone, and Grace couldn’t see her. “I just want to be sure first,” Anna said. “Really,
really
sure.”

“At least think about bringing him,” Grace said.

“You’re starting to sound like my mom. And I don’t mean that as a compliment,” Anna said.

Grace laughed. “How is your mother? Is she still dating that guy she met through the online personals?”

“Yeah, actually, she is. I think it’s getting serious. They’re taking a trip to Savannah next week.”

“Good for her,” Grace said warmly. “Oh, crap!”

“What?”

“Literally: crap. I have to change Nat.”

“I’ll see you Saturday.”

“See you then.”

It was a typical south Florida summer night—hot and unbearably humid. Anna was running late, as usual, so by the time she and Charlie got to Grace’s house, everyone else was already there. The kids were splashing around in the pool and shrieking wildly. Chloe was paddling in the water too, pushing William and Natalie along in a little inflatable boat. Grace and Juliet, dressed in tank tops and shorts, were sitting by the edge of the pool, their feet dipped in the water. The three husbands sat in the shade of the covered patio, drinking bottles of sweating beer and talking golf.

“We’re here!” Anna said. Charlie, spotting the pool, stopped dead in his tracks and began stripping off his clothes.

“Charlie, wait,” Anna said, trying to hold him back. “I have to go in with you.”

“It’s okay, Anna, I’ll watch him,” Chloe said.

Anna held on to a squirming Charlie just long enough to fasten on his water wings. As soon as she let go, he catapulted into the pool, giggling manically.

“Stay with Mrs. Truman,” Anna called after him.

“Come sit down with us, Anna,” Grace said. “Louis, will you get Anna a glass of wine?”

“Coming right up,” Louis said. “Does anyone else want one? Chloe? How’re you doing?”

“I’m fine,” Chloe called back. “Still nursing my iced tea.”

“There’s something I have to tell you first,” Anna said. She took in a deep breath, but before she could continue, Grace interrupted her.

“You’re engaged!” Grace announced.

Anna stopped and blinked. “What?”

“Is that your big announcement? You’re engaged?” Grace asked hopefully.

“No! And shhh,” Anna said. She gave a meaningful look in Charlie’s direction, although he was too busy paddling around under Chloe’s careful supervision to hear anything his mother was saying.

“Sorry,” Grace said, rolling her eyes at Juliet. “I wasn’t thinking. Clearly, I must edit myself in front of the two-year-old.”
Anyway
, I was just going to say that—” But before Anna could finish her thought, Noah walked in through the back gate, carrying a Pyrex baking dish.

“I come bearing bread pudding,” Noah announced.

“Noah!” Grace said excitedly, twisting around to beam up at Anna. “You brought him!”

Anna held up her hands and widened her eyes at Grace. “Yes,” she hissed. “And we’re trying to keep it low key.” She bobbed her head toward Charlie again.

“Ohhhh,” Grace said, realization dawning. She paused. “But wait. Didn’t you just come together? Or did you drive separately?”

“No, we came together. We’re just not making a big deal over it,” Anna said, as Noah joined her, still holding the bread pudding.

“Hi, Noah,” Grace said.

“We’re glad you talked Anna into bringing you,” Juliet said.

“It didn’t take much convincing. I just had to promise not to hold her hand or pretty much make any physical contact with her in front of Charlie,” Noah said, grinning at Anna and bumping her arm gently with his.

“Hello? That was physical contact,” Anna said, stepping away from Noah and looking nervously over at Charlie.

“Maybe I should go over and join the guys,” Noah said. He held up the Pyrex dish to Grace. “Where should I put the bread pudding?”

“Chocolate bread pudding with bourbon-pecan caramel sauce,” Anna corrected him.

“Just something you whipped up in your spare time?” Juliet teased.

“It sounds
yum
,” Grace said.

“I’ll take it,” Louis said, bringing over a glass of chilled white wine for Anna. “In fact, why don’t the rest of you leave me and the bread pudding alone.”

“Ha-ha,” Anna said. She accepted the wine, then kicked off her sandals and sat down next to Grace at the edge of the pool, dipping her feet in the water.

“Come on, Noah. I think the women want to talk about you behind your back,” Louis said.

“We don’t mind talking about him in front of him,” Grace said.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass on that kind offer,” Noah said, as he followed Louis back toward the covered patio, where he was greeted by Patrick and James.

“Suit yourself,” Grace said.

“James,” Chloe called out. “Will you come and take over with the kids? I’m missing out on all the gossip. Here, come get in the boat, Charlie.”

Chloe scooped up Charlie and settled him in the boat next to William and Natalie. James set his beer down, pulled off his shirt, and—with a wide grin—cannonballed into the deep end of the pool. Emma squealed as she got drenched with water.

“Ham,” Chloe said affectionately. James kissed her lightly on the mouth.

“Come on, guys. Let’s go
brrrrrm
like a motorboat,” James said, buzzing his lips and pushing Charlie, William, and Natalie in front of him as he kicked his way down the pool. Chloe climbed out of the pool, water streaming off her body, and grabbed a towel from the back of a deck chair before heading over to her friends.

“Hey,” Chloe said happily, settling down next to Juliet as she toweled off her hair.

“Ack! You’re dripping all over me,” Juliet complained.

In response, Chloe shook her head like a dog drying off, spraying Juliet.

Juliet leaned away, grimacing as the water splattered her. “Oh, that’s very mature,” she said.

“You’re going to miss me when you’re gone,” Chloe said. She pouted. “I can’t believe you’re moving away.”

“I know. It’s going to be so weird not having you around,” Grace said.

“So you’re really leaving Monday?” Anna asked.

Juliet nodded. “The moving company is coming first thing Monday morning. Patrick’s going to stay and supervise the movers, and I’m going to drive the kids down.”

Juliet had accepted a job as in-house counsel for an insurance company. The pay was good, and the hours would be more flexible than what she’d had at her old job. The only downside was that the job was in Boca. Which, as Juliet and Patrick had decided, wasn’t such a bad thing. And Patrick had also already secured a new job, this one at the Boca Raton Fire–Rescue Services Department. Patrick’s mother, Trish, had offered to help out with the girls, picking them up from school on the days when neither Juliet nor Patrick would be able to.

“Well, we’ll just have to meet up a lot,” Juliet said firmly. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. And I’ll come back up for the baby.”

“You will?” Grace asked, breaking into a smile.

“I promise,” Juliet said.

Anna reached over and patted Grace’s stomach. “You’re already showing,” Anna said.

“I know. I started showing about five minutes after the conception,” Grace said. She shook her head in disbelief. “Do you know what the odds are of getting pregnant after a vasectomy? Do you?”

Actually, they all did know this nugget of information, as Grace had told them about two hundred times since she’d learned that she was pregnant.

“Less than one percent!” Grace continued.

“Did you ever figure out how it happened?” Juliet asked.

“Well, as it turns out,
Louis
”—Grace stopped to shoot her husband a venomous look—“was supposed to go back in and give his urologist a semen sample after the vasectomy. They check to see if there are any live sperm present before they give you the all-clear. And he claims he got so busy with work, he forgot to go in.” She rolled her eyes.

“I thought you said you were happy about the pregnancy,” Anna said.

“I am. It’s just taking some time for the shock to wear off and the reality that I’m going to have four—four!—small children under the age of seven to set in,” Grace said. She patted her tummy. “I’m hoping this one will be a girl too. The news that he’ll have to pay for four weddings is the worst possible punishment I could think up for Louis.”

The others laughed, and Grace turned to Anna.

“Your turn. What prompted the change of heart about bringing Noah?” she asked.

Anna shrugged and kicked at the water. “I thought about what you said. And I knew you were right. It was time to bring the two men in my life together,” she said.

“It looks like it’s going well,” Chloe said, nodding toward Charlie, who was waving at Noah.

“Noah! Come swim!” Charlie chirped as he slid off the boat and dog-paddled to the edge of the pool. He’d recently learned how to swim with water wings on and loved to show off whenever possible.

“You’ve got it,” Noah said. He pulled off his shirt and dove into the pool. Charlie cheered and paddled after him, arms churning wildly.

Anna watched them, while a knot grew in her throat. She gripped her hands into fists.

“Noah’s great with Charlie,” Grace said.

“Did you see that?” Anna asked, her voice barely audible. “Did you see Charlie asking Noah to come play? That’s a good sign, right? Don’t you think that’s a good sign?”

Grace slung an arm around Anna’s shoulders and gave her a quick hug.

“A very good sign,” Grace said. “You see? I told you, it’s all going to turn out just fine.”

The women fell silent, their eyes fixed on their offspring. The twins and Molly were doing handstands in the shallow end. Hannah was trying to imitate the older girls, but she kept forgetting to hold her breath underwater and would pop up like a cork, spluttering, each time she tried. Noah was pretending to be a shark and was swimming underwater and grabbing on to Charlie’s ankle, making the little boy scream with laughter. William and Natalie were happily taking in the sights from their inflatable boat.

“I can’t believe William’s already six months old; it doesn’t seem possible. It feels like I just brought him home from the hospital,” Chloe said, shaking her head in wonderment. “The time is going by way too fast. The next thing I know, he’ll be heading off to college.”

“My mom’s always said that’s the hardest part of being a parent,” Anna said. “That if you’re raising your kids right, you spend the whole time preparing them to leave you.”

“But we have them now,” Juliet said, so uncharacteristically sentimental that the others turned to look at her. Juliet’s eyes were hidden behind her sunglasses, but a faint smile played at her lips.

“We have them now,” Chloe repeated quietly.

“Oh, Christ, you’re going to make me cry,” Grace said, sniffing. “It’s these damned hormones.”

“That’s your excuse anyway,” Juliet teased her. She tipped back her glass and drained the last of her wine.

“Louis, Juliet needs a refill,” Grace called.

“Coming,” Louis said, walking over with the bottle of chardonnay in hand. Juliet held her glass up, and he filled it. “Anyone else?”

“I’m good,” Anna said.

“I’ll take a splash,” Chloe said. “No, you don’t have to get me a fresh glass. Just dump some in here.”

She held up her empty iced tea glass, and Louis poured some wine into it.

“I’ll take some,” Grace said hopefully.

“Not a chance,” Louis said.

“Being pregnant seriously sucks,” Grace said, but she grinned as Louis leaned over and kissed the top of her head as he passed by.

When Louis had returned to the cluster of guys, who were now all admiring his new grill, Anna said, “I think we should make a toast.”

“Good idea. What to?” Grace asked.

“How about Juliet? This is her farewell party,” Chloe suggested.

“No, that’s too depressing,” Juliet said. “Besides, you’re not really getting rid of me. I’m not going that far away.”

“So what should we toast to, then?” Anna asked. “Our health? The future? The kids?”

“Why don’t we just toast to being mothers?” Grace suggested.

“I like it,” Chloe said. “After all, that’s how we all ended up as friends, isn’t it? Through Mothers Coming Together. At least, that’s how I met all of you.”

“This is true,” Grace said. “Juliet?”

“Fine by me,” Juliet said.

“So let’s drink to us,” Grace said. She lifted her glass of lemonade up in the air. “To motherhood.”

“To motherhood,” the others chimed in. And then they clinked their glasses together.