Monza 3 (Formula Men #3) (3 page)

Tre

I aimlessly drove about the city for an hour, contemplating if I should go back to the hospital or go home until I was less intense. Kimberly was going through a lot as it was. The last thing she most likely needed was to have me around like a major cross to bear.

As much as I would have loved to be around her and Gian Luca, I knew I had to get myself sorted out. I couldn’t allow myself to bring such negativity around them, most especially after all she had gone through with my mother, not to mention dealing with me and going through labor and now dealing with being a new mother. I was sure she was beyond overwhelmed by it all. Therefore, it was best I stayed away until I had come to terms with what had just happened.

My mother wouldn’t dare try anything to hurt her and the baby. She knew me well enough to know that I had reached my limit, and it would be unwise to challenge me.

The adrenaline that pounded throughout my body slowly ebbed away, and by the time I reached my residence, I could feel the after effects of what the blood transfusion had done to my body. Not to mention, the mental and emotional storm from the last couple of hours. There was nothing like a long shower, a glass or two of cognac, and some much needed rest to put everything into perspective.

I knew what I wanted. There was no doubt about that. However, going about achieving it might be complex. And the mere fact that I wasn’t sure if I had enough patience to wait in accomplishing such goal could be problematic. I believed we had wasted enough time, and I wasn’t simply going to bide my time until Kimberly was ready to broach the complicated subject.

My son would grow up in no time, and I surely wasn’t going to be on the sidelines, hearing about his newly acquired skills or improvement. No, I planned to be there for the first step, the first laugh, the first word. I wasn’t going to miss any of those precious moments. I daresay I hadn’t thought about being a father, but since I had already been thrust into this reality, I couldn’t help being enamored at the thought. Gian Luca would grow up with me as his father. I wouldn’t allow anything else. God help me if Kimberly
still
had other designs on the matter.

It took me about a day and a half until I finally decided to see them again. As saddened as I was to find out that Gian Luca had been taken back to the nursery so they could give Kimberly some time to rest, I was glad I got the chance to just be alone with her.

Her family had been with her this morning, as had her husband on paper, so she was understandably exhausted.

I came in just before she ate dinner.

“My, what have you got for me?” Her beautiful eyes widened at the sight of the takeaway paper bag I held in my hand.

“A bunch of treats that I think might cheer you up,” I told her as I began pulling out one item at a time before carefully placing them each on the adjustable medical table.

My heart skipped a beat or two at the look of her face. Closing her eyes, she breathed in the food’s heavenly aroma before she let out a seductive moan.

Dio mio
. If she reacted like that with food, I would bring her whatever she wanted on a daily basis without complaint.

Naughty thoughts aside, I had brought her a wide variety of dishes—from zuppa Toscana to pasta to grilled steak with a side of french fries. I hadn’t been sure what she would be up for, so I had decided to order whatever I thought she might fancy. Last but not least, I had also gotten us both some hazelnut gelato to finish off the meal.

While I sat around her feet, we had the table set up between us as she sat with a couple of pillows at her back. We both picked at the meal while enjoying our conversation about the baby and whatever else, anything light. I didn’t want to press upon the issue of my mother just yet, not until I knew she had rested.

Just before we finished, a nurse came to check on her, getting her vitals and such. It was a random idea, but I asked if it were possible to stay and sleep on the sofa if I decided to. The nurse barely paid attention to me. So, with Kimberly’s blessing, I sat on the sofa while I watched her slowly fall asleep.

She said the baby would eventually come for a feeding when he woke up, so she best get as much rest as possible. I hadn’t minded a bit. As a tiny smile crept to my face, I thought,
This is how life is supposed to be.
And it would be all mine … soon enough.

While she rested, I busied myself by calling my assistant, Gino, to make sure the tabloids wouldn’t get a whiff of this bit, or if they had already, I told him to buy all of them off. I would eventually make a press release, but not anytime soon. Until I had the conversation with Kimberly, the media had to settle with speculation.

Once the phone call was handled, I decided against pondering about my mother and eventually took a nap, as well. I was awakened by a soft knock four hours later.

Blinking a few times, I made a grunting noise before I finally peeled my eyes open and saw the same kind nurse who was here earlier wheel in Gian Luca. He had a small IV pole installed next to him, yet he seemed more robust than ever.

He was so little, and I was rather afraid to touch him, afraid I might hurt him and make him upset. I hadn’t thought about this part of fatherhood. I supposed, as soon as he was well, I could practice holding him. Then I would learn how to feed him, change his nappy, and put him to sleep. For the time being, I would settle on watching him latch on to his mother while she softly cooed at him.

Kimberly was a natural, and for a moment, I was mesmerized. Mother and son. The love between them was a beautiful thing to watch, and I was awestruck at the thought of almost losing them both.

“Do you want to hold him?” Kimberly asked, barely glancing at me while she fed Gian Luca.

“Some other time, perhaps.”

She sent me a dazzling, toe-curling smile. “He won’t bite. You have to start learning the ropes sooner or later.”

She was right. Of course, she was. “In due time, mi amore. For now, I’m satisfied with watching you both.”

“If you say so,” she immediately quipped back before turning all of her attention back to the baby.

There was something about her beauty sans all the artifice of makeup. Not only was she beautiful, but she was brave beyond a doubt. She had confided not so long ago that she didn’t have a mother to show her how to become one, yet she believed in herself enough to know that she would eventually get the swing of things, as she had kindly put it.

She didn’t hesitate to follow through with what she wanted. As long as her heart was in it, she would brave whatever life chose to send her way. Travesty, she surely wasn’t.

After timidly waiting for the right moment to broach the long awaited conversation with her, I finally had my opening when the nurse decided that it was time to take little Gian Luca back to sleep, leaving Kim and me by ourselves once again.

“Can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink, perhaps?” I gently asked, gazing at her depleted form against the cushion of pillows.

She shut her lids for a moment before shaking her head. “I’m okay, thank you. Just a lot to digest, that’s all. I’m still feeling as if I’m in a twilight zone.”

I seconded her sentiment. However, as much as I wanted to give her space, I knew I had to get this over and done with, or I wouldn’t be able to move forward with anything at all.

“I know you’re beyond exhausted, but we must discuss what we should do. We didn’t have the chance to speak about what happened the other day, and I’m thankful you didn’t press for any information, but I did confront her. Rest assured, she won’t be hounding you any longer. But before we get through that ordeal, we must settle the first thing that I consider the biggest hurdle.” I paused as I watched her contorted reaction, as if she knew what I was about to say next. “You have to annul your marriage.” 

“I need time …” She looked perplexed. “This is all happening so fast.” 

She made a valid point. I understood that. However, if we lagged on this, I was terrified it would remain on the back burner, and nothing would be resolved, that we would all be stuck in the same limbo as we were at the moment.

“How much time?” I pressed. “Will a week or two suffice?” Surely, that would be adequate enough to cover whatever unresolved ties she had with him.

“A month or so,” she finally voiced with hesitation laced in her tone.

I didn’t want to be an arse about it all, but … the lingering response of
or so
didn’t bide well with me.

“Or so meaning a month
or
two
? Five?
Twelve?
Give me a clearer picture here,
per favore
.”

She took a sharp intake of breath, as if she were losing patience with me. “I’m saying I need time, Luca.”

“Well,
I
fucking don’t. So much time has been wasted already. You surely can’t expect me to wait on the sidelines. He is my child, too, in case you’ve forgotten that important detail. You can’t expect me to sit back, and before you know, you’ll be giving my son, my flesh and blood, my sole heir some other man’s last name! Over my fucking dead body!”
So much for being reasonable,
I thought as her mystified expression registered.

“Stop pressuring me! I can’t think.”

Someone had to, or she would resort to sitting still. If the past months hadn’t showed me anything, this surely did.

“As Gian Luca’s father, it’s my bloody job to pressure you,” I countered, hoping she would see how I wasn’t going to take her route in sorting things out by trying to ignore it.

“For goodness sake, Luca! You don’t have to be so fucking crazy all the damn time!”

“I have to be because it seems like you’re pretty comfortable with where you’re at right now, even after I had persisted my mother won’t rear her ugliness to pester you any longer. If that isn’t enough, I do intend to have that contract null and void while she delivers all that was promised in the bargain. What else can I do to make you happy, Kim? What else am I not doing right?” 

She pressed her lips together while her fingers toyed with the seams of the sheets. “I’m grateful for everything; you must know that,” she murmured in a whisper I could barely hear. “You and your family are powerful. Your last name alone pretty much is the jurisdiction around here. I don’t want to jump from one prison to another.”

“What prison?” It was my turn to be flabbergasted by her choice of words. “You honestly believe that I’d do that to you?”
Santo Cielo.
“You are the mother of my child. I would never dream of treating you in such a way. Never in a million years. For you to even consider such an idea proves you clearly have a low opinion of me.”

How could she fathom that I would do such a damning thing? Sure, I could be a bastard most times when I didn’t get my way, but I would never do that to her, most especially not after this, not after what my mother had made her do.

When she met my gaze, I was surprised it was moistened with unshed tears. “I’m worth nothing here, Luca. I mean, I’m worth dirt in the States, too, but at least there’s some balance, at least I get to have more say when it comes to my baby.” She paused. “Here, you have the power to do anything you like. You could take the baby away for all I know, and I would have such a hard time fighting you in court. You carry the iron fist here, and that terrifies me.”

“Your imagination gets the best of you,” I commented before stalking towards her, sitting next to her, and holding her cold hand against my chest. “I love you. Trust in me that I would never let you fall. Trust in me that I will make the best decision for us, but most of all, for you and Gian Luca. I will protect you … forever if you just let me. Follow your heart; it will lead you back to me.”

“When you don’t have much money, you’d be surprised where someone’s imagination could go,” She commented. “But what you must understand is that I have to be selfish to secure my position in my son’s life, Luca. You know how I feel about you, but I will never forgive myself if I made a decision that took away what I have fought so hard to protect.”

“Then I simply have to make a contract that will ensure you that, no matter what happens, I don’t have the authority to take Gian Luca away. Would that suffice?” I would have given her the moon right then and there had she wished it.

“Okay, we have a deal. But you must give me a week or two to tie everything up,” she insisted, and I agreed to whatever she asked.

I would solely deal with all the legal aspects, because I needed her not to be bombarded by all sorts of problems, knowing she was going through changes due to motherhood.

Two weeks.

Life awaited … in two weeks. Yes, it was a journey I couldn’t wait to embark on.

Quattro

The matter between annulling her marriage and getting my mother to deliver what was promised in the contract had been the highlight of the last few days. For a moment, I wondered if my mother would hold her ground and make the process tedious. As it turned out, it wasn’t much of a hardship. Well, it was Gino who directly dealt with my mother since I couldn’t stomach her shenanigans. Besides, what she had done was unforgivable. She didn’t deserve to be a part of this new life I had diligently crafted for my small family.

For the meantime, I was glad with how things were gradually falling into place. It would take time, but I was simply relieved that Anton hadn’t protested much when Kimberly had broken the news to him. He had been supportive of the belief that children should always be with their parents. In a way, the man was most likely relieved he didn’t have to put up with the farce of a marriage any longer. Apparently, as Kim had divulged, he had racked up debt, and my mother had used that to her advantage to coerce him.

In so many ways, he had been the perfect candidate for my mother’s plight. He wasn’t quite sure how my mother had found him, but when she had, he just couldn’t refuse it. It was either pay the debt he had incurred, leave the country, or face jail time. My mother’s offer was the best thing for him, even if his beliefs regarded it wrong in the first place.

You could surely put the word cunning to shame when describing my mother. I could only imagine what she had gotten herself involved in beforehand. Why my father had tolerated her, I would never know.

In reference to my father, I hadn’t yet spoken to him. However, he hadn’t had reached out to me, either, which made me wonder what in the world was going on in that man’s head. He and I were long overdue for a conversation. In the meantime, my focus was on the newly born infant and the mother who had captured me without even trying to.

They remained in the hospital longer than anticipated due to doctor’s supervision on Gian Luca’s progress. They needed to make sure he was one hundred percent fit before releasing him. And that time finally came. It was something to celebrate, and I couldn’t have been happier had it not been for Kimberly’s suggestion that she intended to go home to her father’s apartment.

“But why there? I get that you want to be with them, but they might find it too much to have a baby around their home. I have a huge house that is readily available for the both of you; you need not look elsewhere.” It was nonsensical of her to even consider a different choice.

I admitted I was a tad insulted that the very idea hadn’t even entered her head. How could it not? I wasn’t here as a bloody decoration. I was here, offering my services on a daily basis, yet she was still hesitant about me.

What else could I do to prove to her that I wasn’t going anywhere? I was going to be a permanent fixture in her and my son’s life. This wasn’t a drill. I wasn’t going to be dissuaded whenever she felt uncomfortable. She must have known that the moment I had demanded that she file for annulment.

“Do you have a nursery ready?” she questioned with an expectant look.

“A nursery?” I asked. “Well, no, I hadn’t thought that far, but it’s something that can be accomplished. If you have time, we can make it a project we can do together. That aside, I do have a lot of available rooms for you and Gian Luca. I also had Gino hire someone to help you with the baby.” I held up a finger to immediately shush her the moment she parted her lips to interject. “I just want someone there in any case you want to sleep, take a shower, go to the doctors, or whatever else you have pressing to do. You can do it without needing to worry about getting back quickly because the baby will be well taken care of.

“I’m here to make sure this will go as smoothly as humanly possible. I know there will be bumps along the way, but I want to reduce that if I can. So, please, don’t argue with me on this.”

She sighed, as if she had given up on the subject altogether. “You’ve figured all this out. I’m surprised the nursery has skipped your mind.”

I smirked at her sassy comment. There she was, the woman I was madly in love with, springing back to life.

“I’m a capable man, amore, but sadly, as much as I wish it to be, I’m not God, and I will forget important and essential things along the way. But you need not fret. I will try to be the best I can.”

“I like you just you are, Luca. As crazy as you are, I don’t want you to change.”

That was probably the sweetest sentiment she had given me in quite some time.

All this sparring and the strain of the days had worn on me, but I wasn’t yet done.

“Keep that in mind for what I have to say next. I meant to say that this move is permanent and not a temporary one, not when you first suggested you move in with your family.”

“Luca, this is moving too fast,” she immediately countered, clearly unconvinced.

I had known she was going to say that; however, I wasn’t done negotiating.

“Meet me halfway here, cara,” I said with the hint of a plea. “I’m trying my best.”

She bit her lip, pondering my words, before stating, “Six months … After that, we can discuss living arrangements again. For now, I don’t want anything cemented, if that makes any sense at all. I just don’t want to keep putting myself in a position where I don’t have much power in my hands.”

“Brilliant! Six months it is. We’ll treat it as a trial period.” It wasn’t what I had hoped to gain, but it was better than never. I supposed it would be a great opportunity for us to get acclimated to being a family unit and also get to know each other once again.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Kissing her forehead, I breathed her in—her intoxicating scent that was all her—before closing my eyes. “No, thank you. Thank you for giving me this chance.” Six months was enough time to prove to her that I was worthy of her and Gian Luca. It was a test, if you will, to show just how capable I was to be her partner and as a father. I best not take it for granted.

+++

The next day, Kimberly settled into a room right next to my master suite. She had a small cot situated right next to the bed so she wouldn’t have a hard time getting to the baby if it was time for feeding, which at this rate, it varied from every hour, couple of hours or a few, depending on Gian Luca’s mood.

After five days, she had dark circles etched underneath her eyes, and I became concerned.

“You really need to have the nanny help you, or me for that matter.” The woman wouldn’t even pump her breast milk, because she thought it was best to feed him fresh each time. I got it—she had the best sentiments at heart—but not when she was putting her health on the line. “Most mothers get on fine when they have other people help them. Promise me you’ll think about it?”

“We’ve already had this conversation, Luca. Come on; it’s getting tiresome.”

And taxing by the looks of it
, I silently added as I watched her hide a small yawn.

As much as I applauded her vigilant dedication to being a mother, certain measures needed to be addressed.

“It’s tiresome to keep bringing it up, so let me just say this one more time. If you’re still adamant about not using the nanny to help you, I’ll drag you away for a few days just so you can get some rest. I love Gian Luca, as well, but your health is far more important to me. If you get sick because you’re not healthy, can you imagine what it would be like raising him all by myself?”

She immediately paled. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“Well, you should, because with the way you’re going, it won’t be long until you get sick. You just gave birth, for Pete’s sake; your body went through a major trauma by birthing another life into this world. You’re exhausted, Kim. You’re running on fumes. So please, hand the baby to the nanny and sleep for the rest of the afternoon.”

I held her until she was asleep. She seemed smaller somehow, more fragile than before.

+++

Just as we discussed, we began to refurbish the room next to hers as a nursery. Aside from making sure the nanny got to spend some time with the baby while she rested, I made it my mission to take her away from the house for an hour or two almost on a daily basis so we could look about and shop for baby furniture.

As it turned out, she adored little details, so I enlisted someone who could paint the ceiling with a blue sky and bright white clouds. She was also resolute about using organic products and buying items and toys that weren’t plastic, so there were a lot of wooden toys. She didn’t go for the typical chic nursery, but instead, selected a warm, sweet, and simple haven without all the grand embellishments that most people with wealth lavished upon.

Gino, who wasn’t opinionated—or if he did have one, he normally kept it to himself—actually made a wry comment that her influence could be good on me since I was by far the least economical man known in the country. I wasn’t the type of man who bragged, but then again, one couldn’t describe me as a humble, either. His compliment, if it were intended to be one, made me smile like an idiot. I didn’t care what her influence was on me. All I knew was that I woke up every morning, smiling as if it were the best day I had ever had.

We were almost done with the nursery. I would say, in a day or two, Gian Luca would be able to enjoy his earthy kingdom.

It was during dinner while Kimberly was upstairs, tending to the baby’s feeding, when one of the servants announced that my father had just arrived and was waiting for me in the library.

I wasn’t surprised that my father hadn’t directly searched for me in the dining hall. He was the type who liked to keep things private to avoid eavesdroppers and prying eyes.

Being born in one of Italy’s most influential and wealthiest families came with a lot of rules and restrictions. I couldn’t give a fuck about any of them, but my father followed without hesitation.

I pulled the napkin from my lap and set it next to the plate, heavily pondering as I took up my wine glass and chugged from it. If my father had decided to give me a visit on behalf of my mother, this wasn’t going to end well. Perhaps it was just as well. Though he hadn’t been approving of his wife’s wretched practice at being the biggest bitch alive, he had never chastised her throughout the years—well, not that I knew of.

“Che vita!” (
What a life
.) If the Italian media got a whiff of how my family closely resembled a soap opera, they would have a field day.

Slowly and decidedly, I lifted my body out of the chair and traced my steps towards the library. A quick glance towards the upstairs landing showed how placid it was up there. Kimberly was most likely done feeding by now and was rocking the baby to sleep. It was these quiet, enjoyable moments I loved watching without disturbing. They were my everything, and sooner or later, my family would understand the profoundness of that sentiment.

It wasn’t long until I reached the door to my study, then I simply strode in, a tad guarded and the other half open-minded to what he had to say.

“Papa,” I greeted him with a nod, shutting the door and coolly regarding him.

“Buonasera, Luca
.”

“To what do I owe this pleasure? Is there a pressing matter that couldn’t be discussed over the phone?”

He took a deep breath before getting up from the black leather wingback chair and striding towards the fireplace, deep in thought, as he took a metal fork from the grate and moved the wood about, evening the spread of the fire. “I beg you not to direct your anger towards me. You easily forget I’m innocent in your squabble against your mother.”

“A
squabble?
That’s putting it lightly, Papa.” I gave a dark laugh. The word didn’t even begin to compare.

Shaking his head, he steadfastly strolled back towards the chair he had previously occupied before releasing a sigh that stated this was taking a toll on him.

“How is the
piccolo neonato
?” he finally asked with a soft voice.

“He is well, growing and improving on a daily basis.” It saddened me to think that this—having my first born, one of the most important highlights of any person’s life—couldn’t be shared with my family. It was an abhorrent thing to fathom yet something I had quickly learned to live with.

“And her?” He cleared his throat. “How is she doing? Are you taking care of them well?”

His prying question made me see how much he wanted to be a part of this new aspect of my life.

“I try my best, of course. We’re all learning from each other as we get used to things. It’s a vast change for all parties. But I do believe she is content and happy here. And as for the baby, she dies a little inside each time she parts with him. She’s so keen on and brilliant with Gian Luca. I can’t ask for a better mother to my child.”

My father made a championing grin before giving an approving nod. “Gian Luca. He’s named after you. Is this your doing?”

One would easily assume, I supposed. “Fortunately, no. It was Kimberly’s idea. I hadn’t had a clue until she introduced me to him.”

“She seems like a decent woman,” he quietly observed, a fact my mother had failed to acknowledge.

“She is. She truly is.”

“I heard her brother is about to undergo a procedure soon. I was hoping all parties could bury the hatchet and start anew. I know it’s a daunting thought—what your mother did was unforgivable—but I do believe she immensely regrets what she did. I’m confident she’ll do everything in her power to gain your love and trust again.”