Genoveva was growing frustrated. “Sins can be forgiven, child.”
“When I was alive, perhaps. Now I’m… I can’t live in amiable equanimity, nor die in peace. I’m damned. You’ve done that to me. You and Malik… you damned my soul, for now and forever. There’s no going back, no forgiveness to be taken. I’m in utter… ruin.”
Genoveva smiled darkly. “My work is done then.”
“Please stop,” Tristan said through tear-stained lips. He’d been crying this whole time. The hand on his face slowly lifted away and when he opened his eyes he saw that Desmond was silently weeping too, trails of red lines staining his face.
“Don’t you see?” Desmond said with no accent, sounding so not like him. “It wasn’t Malik who killed her, he only took her mortality and physically abused her. But Genoveva, she was different. She fucked with the lass’s head. Destroyed all her beliefs, destroyed the very core of Asta’s self. If one has no sense of self, then who are they?”
Tristan fell forward to his hands, letting his head hang down between them. He was trembling and hated that the others were seeing him like this, so vulnerable. “Empty,” he whispered.
“I think you finally understand.”
He looked up, licked the tears from his lips. “She can’t always feel like this, can she?”
“Dinnae ken, mate.” Desmond shot Mamoru, still holding the knife on him, a look and the man backed off. He stood slowly, dusting off his knees. “Ask her yur-bloody-self.”
“Tristan, are you okay?”
He looked up and saw Mamoru’s concerned expression. “You knew?”
The other man shut his eyes a moment and nodded.
“Oh god,” Tristan whispered, hanging his head again. He couldn’t believe all the pain she’d lived with, survived. Only just though. Could Desmond have used his powers to alter them and force false memories on Tristan? Sure, but somehow he knew that wasn’t the case. The memories were second hand but he felt Ash, her presence in them. That right there, while not Desmond’s truth, was the most honest the man had ever been with him.
“We have to get her back,” Desmond said again in that accent-less whisper. “Now.”
Tristan nodded, wobbling to his feet. When Mamoru grabbed his arm, he let the other man help him up. “I’ve got one thing to do first.”
“Whut? We can’t go fooking ‘round yur arse—oomph!” Desmond’s head snapped back with the impact of Tristan’s fist.
Tristan hissed, shaking out his hand. That actually hurt less than last time. “Now we can go.”
Desmond smiled. “Aye, where tae then?”
Mamoru shot Tristan a concerned look as he brushed by. The other man understood the weight of those memories, maybe even more so than Desmond because he was still emotionally human.
“Don’t have a fucking clue.” Tristan stopped and huffed when he got outside. There was only one car there, the Rover that was there when they arrived. “How did you get here?”
“Didn’t fly, if that’s whut yur thinking.”
“Cute.” Tristan sighed and shuffled over to the driver’s side, grabbed at the ass of his pants a few times to try and shift the dirt that found its way there. The key was in the ignition but the car didn’t start, wouldn’t even turn over. “Great,” he said, slamming the door shut. “I guess we’re walking.”
Mamoru frowned at him. “Isn’t your room in Karavostassis?”
“Yep.”
Eyeing the vampire, but trying to look casual about it, Mamoru sighed. “Let’s get going then, it’s a long walk.”
“We git us a car then,” Desmond announced.
The others stopped and turned to look at him. “What?” Tristan asked.
“Stay put, back in a tick.”
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
“Aye, that yew didn’t but we won’t bloody leave ‘til we done whut Master asked.”
Tristan sighed, rolling his eyes as he turned away from the big vampire. “Fuckmylife—Okay. First thing’s first, we’ll wait for Desmond to get the car and then head back to my hotel to make sure Ash isn’t there already.”
“I know this vampire, Genoveva, and I doubt it, Tristan. Sorry,” Mamoru said with a hand on his arm.
“No, I know, but it’s worth a try.”
“Also… I don’t trust him.” The older Uruwashi gave a nod towards the Scotsman.
Tristan ran his eyes up and down Desmond. The big vampire smiled all teeth at them. “I don’t either, but he’s mostly harmless.”
Mamoru frowned, studying Desmond as the vampire smiled like a fool. “Maybe now, but in life…”
Now the man had Tristan’s attention. “Wait, what? How could you—”
“Come on, Tristan, I’m only forty-three, it’s impossible for me to know him personally when he was alive.”
Desmond made a noise that might have been a snicker and Tristan gave him a dirty look and the finger.
“But there’ve been many stories about him.” Mamoru paused and looked to Desmond. “About Desmond of Water and about the man he was in life, James the—” His remaining words were cut off with a strained cry as he was tackled to the ground.
Tristan jumped back surprised, but then was diving for them. “Get off him, you big fucking stupid-ass ape!”
Apparently, he was never meant to ride rodeo as Desmond easily flung him off his back. Tristan groaned, picking himself up and dove for the vampire again and took an elbow to the face. “Ah, fuck!” he screamed, falling back and clutching his bleeding mouth.
Mamoru was trapped by the larger man and knew there was only one way to stop the vampire from killing him. No, that wasn’t true, really, there were two. One was killing the monster. The other… Mamoru grabbed at the collar of Desmond’s shirt until it ripped and bit down onto the exposed flesh. The vampire grunted his annoyance before returning the favor, chomping down across Mamoru’s forearm. He groaned into Desmond’s flesh when fangs scraped his radius.
Tristan wasn’t sure when it happened, but suddenly it seemed a lot like killing each other wasn’t as important as getting off. Desmond and Mamoru both were making little noises of pleasure, the vampire’s posture over Mamoru relaxed, pressed hip to hip. This wasn’t the first time he’d witnessed something like this. Back when he thought Ash was still a dude, this exact same thing happened between her and Aaron when she went to question him. And then something very much like this when he went to Yuki’s home the first time. Damn vampires and their libido.
“Uh… guys?” Tristan muttered through his hands and then lowered them to spit out a mouthful of blood. There was a deep gash on the inside of his cheek where his teeth tore into the tender flesh but otherwise nothing broken. “Hey. Seriously? Sex at a time like this?”
Desmond let go of his hold on Mamoru and the other man’s eyes fluttered open, meeting Tristan’s over Desmond’s shoulder, mouth still pressed to flesh.
“Always a good time fur sex, mate.”
“Not when we have to help Ash.”
Mamoru finally let go of his hold on Desmond and scoffed. “Get off me.”
“Aye, yew ken yew liked it.”
“Get.
Off
.”
Tristan’s shoulders shook as he felt the malice in those two little words, and the threat wasn’t even aimed at him. Desmond laughed but got up, licking his lips.
Mamoru couldn’t even bring himself to lick the last taste of Desmond on his own lips and swiped a hand across his mouth. “You’re a monster.”
“Takes one to bloody ken one, aye?”
Mamoru licked his teeth, curling his nose up in disgust. “But… I’ve got no reason to kill you.”
Tristan sighed. “Damn, I was hoping we could off this one.”
“He’s done some…
disgusting
things, but only by human standards. He’s a perfectly normal vampire. In fact, he’s a bit better than a normal vampire.”
“Meaning…?”
Desmond grinned big at Tristan. “Means, we is bloody saint.”
Mamoru just shrugged at him.
“We’re wasting time,” Tristan snapped. But he couldn’t help but wonder exactly what Mamoru saw. Maybe when they were alone he’d bother to ask.
“Aye, right then,” Desmond said with a wave over his shoulder as he walked away. “Back in a tick. Oi, by the way, Mamoru-san… nice job on that church, mate. Bloody brilliant work.” And then he broke into a full run and was out of sight in seconds.
Tristan sighed and plopped down onto the ground, massaging his sore shoulder. “The church…?” This was the second time someone’d said something about it to Mamoru. Last time they were too busy fighting off an energy wielding pythia and a sword wielding elf to stop and ask.
Mamoru let out his own sigh and crouched down next to Tristan, picking mindlessly at the grass. “It was my first month… like this, after Baldwin bit me. I was chasing a fledgling that was, well, she was weak, only a few months old, but incredibly clever. Anyway, she still believed in her human god and thought to seek sanctuary in this church. I didn’t mean to do anything inside, just grab her and go, but I lost control.”
“Lost control?” He looked to his right and Mamoru’s head popped up, meeting his eyes.
“I burned the church down.” Tristan scowled and opened his mouth to say something when Mamoru quickly added, “It was an accident, of course. But I—” The man looked away. “Two people, innocent humans, died because of me.”
Tristan frowned. “Did you at least get the vampire?”
“Oh yes, but I,” He stopped and sighed, looked away. “We all blunder our way through life. It’s just harder for others.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
Mamoru looked at him again. “No, I don’t. But I just, I want you to understand, when it does happen to you, that great tragedy you aren’t sure you can live with, that you can’t let it burden you too long or you’ll never be able to survive. Hold on to the pain just long enough to let it validate your morals but learn to let it go before it destroys you.”
“It won’t happen to me. I won’t let it.”
The look in Mamoru’s eyes said he was being naïve. “We all think that and we all fail. It’s just… inevitable. It’s the path our kind is destined to live.”
“That’s—”
“Sad.” Mamoru put a hand on Tristan’s shoulder as he stood again. “But a truth we can’t hide from. No one can hide from fate, not even the mighty Uruwashi.”
YUR lot bloody reeks.”
“Suck it up,” Tristan snapped as he smelled his shirt. He stopped short, dropping his clothing back into place when Desmond suddenly spun to face him, grinning all fang.
“That be an offer then, mate?”
Tristan scoffed and pushed past the vampire. “Go fuck yourself.” He strutted into the room he shared with Ash, leaving the vampire to laugh his annoying Scottish ass off outside.
“What is it between you two anyway?” Mamoru asked as he came in behind Tristan and plopped his little man bag down on the sofa. Whatever he had in it made a heavy metal clunk.
Tristan rolled his eyes, shaking his head, not even bothering to turn to face the other man. “We just don’t get along.” He stopped inside the bedroom door and looked back to Mamoru. “Didn’t you see that when you bit him?”
Mamoru stiffened as Desmond came in behind him and he quickly moved aside so that he could keep the vampire in sight. “I saw
plenty
, thank you.”
“Aye, care fur another go? We got us five minutes tae spare while traitor-boy here gets himself all bonnied up.”
Tristan turned away, middle finger displayed over his shoulder as he went into the bedroom. From the living room he heard Mamoru nearly shout, “I said, no. I don’t sleep with men!” Then Desmond’s laugh and him saying something about being a vampire at the core and that it was inevitable. Whatever else Mamoru had to say to the Scot was lost in a tirade of fast Japanese that made the vampire laugh but lost Tristan.
He pulled out a clean set of clothes for himself and then looked in Ash’s bag for something for Mamoru. The truth was, they did stink, like wet earth and decomp plant matter. It was almost sickening. And Tristan was twice the mass of the smaller Japanese man, Ash’s stuff would have to make do.
He was looking down at the clothes in his hands when he walked out into the room saying, “Hope you don’t mind, but I think Ash’s clothes will fit you better than mine. ‘Cause I’ll tell you, I think you might smell worse—” He stopped, realizing the room felt tense. And he knew why. It was the strong hum, the tantalizing tingle of a vampire. And it wasn’t Desmond. No, this was a flavor he recognized. Too bad it wasn’t the one he really wanted.
“Don’t fucking move!” Tristan shouted as he dropped the clothes and trained his gun on the vampire standing inside his hotel room by the patio slider. Desmond was sitting in one of the chairs, looking completely at ease with a drink of something amber, while Mamoru was in battle stance with his knife out to make a fast attack on the intruder.
“Not her,” Desmond mumbled almost singsong, rubbing at his stubble-free chin.
Genoveva looked frazzled with her wild haircut and wide gray eyes cutting back and forth between the two Uruwashi, hands up in the air. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m just trying—I need help.”
Tristan started. “Vasco?”
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Desmond nodding.
The man with his hands in the air swallowed hard. “You know me?”
“Something like that,” Tristan grumbled.
“Could be a trick,” Mamoru said sounding cautious.
Tristan agreed. Then he remembered something Chrysanthe said to him before. Vasco didn’t even know he was a vampire. Stood to reason that he wouldn’t be receptive to some of the higher mental abilities then, right? Tristan forced the immense hold on his mind away and let his thoughts be heard by those more enlightened than the average human.
How do we know you’re really Vasco?
Mamoru and Desmond both flinched as the thought hit them in a scream. The big guy’d never say it, but he was impressed at Tristan’s abilities, even if he was telepathically speaking like he was trying to be heard by the deaf. Vasco however, didn’t react, not even a twitch. Guess that answered that.
“Bloody said it weren’t Genoveva.”
“Shut up, Desmond.”
“I,” the frightened man said, eyes darting between the others in question, “I need Tristan. Which of you is Tristan?”
He lifted his chin, narrowing his eyes on Vasco. “That’s me.”
“Oh!” He took a sudden step forward that got Tristan’s gun pointed at his face. The man gasped and stumbled back until he nearly tripped over a side table. “I’m sorry. I need your help. It’s meu estrella…” He shook his head hard, eyes shut tightly. “No, um, Asta.”
“Ash?” Tristan gasped. “Is she—”
“Hurt. I don’t know what’s wrong. She keeps saying Tristan, Tristan over and over again like she doesn’t even know I’m there. And there’s… um, this.” Vasco held out a small bundle he pulled from the folds of his top.
Desmond’s blasé attitude suddenly turned decidedly not. “No,” he whispered.
“What is that?” Tristan asked nervously.
“Wait, don’t—” Mamoru pleaded, jumping forward but stopped short with a dismayed sigh when Vasco revealed what was hidden inside.
“Holy fuck—what,” Tristan looked into Vasco’s worried expression, his own full of disbelief and welling rage. “What’d you do, you fucking monster!”
“Tristan, don’t!” Mamoru was too slow as Tristan tackled the frightened vampire and punched him in the face. Again and again, screaming.
“Tristan!” Desmond grumbled angrily as he tore the American off of Vasco and slammed him down to the floor, hand clamped over his mouth. He sat on top of Tristan to keep him pinned. “Shut yur bloody mouth before you draw the wrong kind of attention.”
Tristan struggled under the large man, muffled curses spewing out from under Desmond’s big hand.
“Now yew listen to us, right? Aye, it be the wee lass’s hand.”
Tristan’s eyes welled.
“But it’s okay. Aye? It’s really okay.”
“He’s right,” Mamoru added as he tucked the detached hand into his bag. “You remember what I told you on the boat, well maybe I didn’t touch on this, but they can regrow, even reattach body parts. Especially someone as old as her. She will be perfectly fine.”
“Aye. Now, we ken it sooks, right, but yew have tae keep yur heid. If yur lot is going to be all dramatic like, then we can leave yew behind. I don’t bloody need yew. In fact, yur only alive ‘cause I ken two powerful woman who’d eat me alive for harming yew.”
Tristan’s brow furrowed in anger but he nodded.
Desmond gave him a serious look and then a nod before taking his hand off Tristan’s mouth. He licked his lips, hating that his hand tasted like vampire—did vampire have a specific taste? Maybe, maybe not, but right then he was sure of it as Desmond’s hard-ass expression shifted so easily back into his normal flippant one.
Vasco, who had remained silent, sitting on the floor, made a little noise, making everyone look to him. All of the blood was already gone and he just looked plain frightened. “P—please, you have to help her. I can’t. I’m only human, and a sad one at that.”
Tristan’s mouth dipped into a deep frown thinking the vampire was completely crazy. How could they trust him, even just a little? What if the monster in him, the one who knew what she was and liked to hurt others took over? It could happen at any moment.
Desmond let out a huff as he stood. Vasco got a good eyeful of the big vampire and backed up, pulling his hood over his head as if he could hide in plain sight. “Aye, chance we have tae take tae save the wee lass.”
“Agreed,” Mamoru chimed in, still stiff and at the ready.
There was something in his tone that made Tristan look away from Vasco. Mamoru was fixated. His body was tense but he was breathing so heavy that Tristan could hear it. The other man licked his lips, eyes full of want. Tristan realized that the man was nearly salivating at the idea of killing Vasco, or rather, Genoveva. He went over and carefully put a hand on Mamoru’s shoulder, leaned down and whispered, “Thank you.”
The other man’s head wiped around to look up at him.
Thank you for not killing him the moment he stepped in the room and giving Ash a chance to be found
, was the full thought Tristan was thinking but didn’t have to say. Mamoru gave a curt nod and then a jerk of his head towards the door. “Let’s go. You, Vasco, lead the way.”
The hooded man flinched as all eyes were on him again. “Y—yes.” Tristan sneered at the man, making him gasp and jump into motion, nearly running out the patio door to get away. “This way.”
When the other two were outside, Mamoru stopped Tristan. “I promise you, she’ll be okay. Her hand will reattach.”
“It’s not even that. What about…” He licked his lips feeling his eyes burn again. “The pain I felt, what Desmond showed me. How can someone go through it all again?”
Mamoru looked at a loss. “At least Genoveva’s only had her a few nights? Not years.”
Tristan sighed, shaking his head.
“Listen, Tristan, I know it’s hard. You love her very deeply. That’s why I promise the moment I know she’s okay, I’ll kill that monster. Burn her to a crisp. And then, when it’s all done and said and you and Ash have healed, we’ll all go back to Japan, or wherever you want to go and I’ll teach you
everything
I know.” He suddenly put on a big smile, though it was strained. “And first thing I’ll teach you is better control. Ash has been teaching you well, but she’s teaching you like a vampire and you’re not a vampire are you? You’re Uruwashi. The mental screaming is going to make us all deaf if we don’t get it under control. Yeah?”
Tristan forced a smile he wanted to mean. He was glad to hear the man was really receptive to taking him on. Being taught by one of his own would change everything for him. It was stupid of him to think a vampire, even one who loved him, would teach him anything he needed to know. Not that it was really Ash’s fault—Yuki was the one who took those precious memories. Ah hell, but what if what Chrysanthe said was true? Did Yuki really return them in France? If so, Ash had a hell of a lot of explaining to do. Once he knew she was safe anyway.
“Is it far?” he asked, feeling excited and nervous when they reached the others at the car. What would he find when he got there? Would Ash be hurt badly, near death? Would she be able to leave on her own? Would Tristan have to feed her just to save her, and would, after it was all said and done, would she hate him for it?
Mamoru shot him a look, one that said, “you can’t worry about that now”.
“Close, it’s a cave.”
Tristan stopped. “A cave? You’re keeping her in a fucking cave?”
“What, me? No. I never. I love—I don’t know what’s going on. I, I blackout a lot. I don’t know why we were there but only that she couldn’t leave.”
Tristan couldn’t hide his fear. “Is she, are you—no, never mind, I—”
“If I may?” Mamoru said, slipping between Tristan and the car to be closer to Vasco. When the timid vampire realized Mamoru was looking at him he tensed. “May I bite you?”
“B—bite me? My god, why—oh. You, you’re one of
those
?”
“I won’t hurt you.” Not right at that moment anyway. Mamoru unconsciously licked his lips. He hated the very idea of keeping this monster alive after hunting her for so long, but the thought of the bite thrilled him. Every new vampire he met, every bite was a new story to be told. He reveled in the tale of each unique life, their trials and tribulations, in the knowledge they gained and the interesting places they’d been. It was an addiction, tasting someone’s memories, their very life, one that Mamoru was finding himself succumbing to.
Vasco frowned for a moment and then nodded. “I understand.”
Tristan took a big step back when he realized what was about to happen. He didn’t want anything to do with it.
“Bigot,” Desmond muttered.
“Think what you want. One show a day’s enough for me.”
“
Say
whut yew want, but we can read yur mind.”
Tristan scoffed at Desmond and went to lean on the other side of the car with his back to the others. He didn’t give a shit what Desmond thought he knew about him. He could care less if two men wanted at each other—for food or sex, he just didn’t want to watch. But, even unable to see, he could still
feel
what was happening behind him. He hadn’t realized it before, but he was feeling a little bit, just a tiny taste, of what the others felt. That tug in his middle, the tingle up his back, down his arms. The warmth in lower places. He echoed a groan from Vasco and hated that he made the noise at all. And then, at the height of it all the pleasure cut off like switching off a TV and Tristan gasped, feeling empty.
“Thank you,” Mamoru said in a breathy yet clipped tone and Tristan chanced a glance back. Then jerked back away when he saw Desmond grinning at him.
“Come on, mate, yur lot is up front with us.”
“O—okay,” Vasco said through a deep frown, clutching his wrist despite the fact that it was no longer bleeding and joined Desmond in Tristan’s rental.
“Are you okay?”
Tristan turned and blinked at Mamoru over the car hood. “I know it’s not my fault, but I feel…”