Moonlight and Ashes (53 page)

‘What do yer reckon is up with ’em?’

Lizzie pursed her lips. ‘I ain’t got a clue. They seemed to get on really well when she came here the last time.’ Suddenly leaning up on her elbow, she now asked him, ‘Danny, what’s it feel like to have no legs?’

Danny frowned as he thought how best to answer her. ‘It’s strange really,’ he told her eventually. ‘What I mean is, apart from the fact I can’t get about like I used to, it don’t feel no different now that the pain’s gone. In fact, sometimes I think they’re feelin’ itchy but when I lean down to scratch ’em they ain’t there any more.’

Content with his explanation, Lizzie’s thoughts moved on. Smiling dreamily, she gazed beyond the window at the wind whispering through the trees. ‘Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could stay here forever?’

‘What . . . like a real family, do yer mean?’

Lizzie nodded in the darkness. ‘Yes. We ain’t got nothing to go back to Coventry for now, have we? We ain’t even got a house there. An’ Gran won’t have room for us, with Jo and David living there now. An’ Jo will have a baby soon.’

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ Danny sighed, but then he brightened again. ‘Let’s not worry about it fer now, eh? Yer know what Soho Gus told me. Everythin’ ’appens fer a reason.’

Sighing with contentment, Lizzie nestled down into the warm bed, and very soon both of them were fast asleep.

 

Downstairs in the kitchen, the atmosphere was nowhere near as relaxed as Maggie wondered how to approach what she wanted to say to Eric. He was sitting reading the newspaper in the chair at the side of the fire, with Hemily on his lap and Samson curled up at his feet.

Lifting her knitting, she went and sat in the opposite chair to him, then tentatively she asked, ‘Eric, I was wondering - could I have a chat to you about something?’ The knitting needles clicked furiously as her nerves ran out of control.

Laying the paper down he gave her his full attention. ‘Of course. What’s troubling you?’

‘Well, there’s nothing
troubling
me exactly. It’s just that I’m very aware that you’re now keeping the three of us, and it doesn’t feel right.’

‘Oh, I see. So what are you saying then? That you’ll soon be shooting off back to Coventry?’

Her mouth dropped open in astonishment. ‘No, of course that’s not what I was going to say at all! I wouldn’t dream of leaving Danny as he is, or Lizzie for that matter. What I
was
going to say was that I’ve been thinking of getting a job and I wondered if you might know of any going?’

She thought she detected a look of relief cross his face, but it was so fleeting that she assumed she must have imagined it.

Steepling his fingers, he stared thoughtfully into the flames of the fire, as she rushed on, ‘I know it would mean putting a lot more work on to you, what with having to help Danny and everything. But at least I could pay our way then, and I
would
do my share of the work when I got home,’ she added hastily.

‘Don’t you think you do more than enough already?’ He was looking at her now, and her stomach was churning as it always did when she was close to him.

‘What you have to remember is, I already get paid a small amount for looking after evacuees. And you . . . well, just look at the difference you’ve made to this place! I’ve hardly lifted a finger since you came back. Maggie, you don’t owe me a single penny.
I
should be paying
you
actually for taking such good care of the place. Unless you need some money to get back to David in Coventry, that is?’

So that was it. Tears of humiliation stung at the back of her eyes. He was trying to get rid of her and using David as the excuse. Well, she certainly wouldn’t enlighten him to the fact that David was now a married man. Let him stew. Why couldn’t he just be man enough to tell her that what had happened between them had been a mistake?

‘I have absolutely no intention of going back to Coventry until the war is over,’ she told him primly. ‘And now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll get an early night.’

 

The following morning as they all sat at the table having breakfast, Eric asked Danny, ‘Do you fancy coming into Pwllheli with me for a ride today? I thought we could drop your painting off at the picture-framer and do a bit of Christmas shopping. Lizzie, you can come as well if you like.’

Both the small heads nodded eagerly as Maggie stared fixedly at her plate. She would have liked to go too. Christmas was getting uncomfortably close and as yet she hadn’t bought so much as a single gift. She wouldn’t ask him if she could go with them, though. Instead she rose and began to clear the dirty pots from the table, letting them clatter into the sink to relieve her frustration.

Damn and blast Eric! Why didn’t he just ask her to leave, if that was what he wanted? Perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to move back to Coventry, after all? The twins glanced at each other apprehensively as they picked up on their mam’s mood. She was slamming about with a face like a bulldog sucking on a wasp, though they had no idea why.

Half an hour later, they were all ready to go. Maggie walked to the car with them while Eric packed Danny’s wheelchair and his painting in the back.

‘Have a good day then,’ she told them, forcing a smile to her face as she leaned through the car window to kiss them goodbye. ‘Eric, drive carefully, won’t you?’

‘Of course I will,’ he told her shortly as he clambered into the driver’s seat. He started the engine and then they were off and the children were waving furiously to Maggie as the car started the downhill slide. She watched until they were out of sight, then shuddering, she drew her cardigan more tightly about her and hurried back into the house. A few downpours of rain had shifted much of the snow that had been lying, but now it was muddy slush underfoot. Shutting the kitchen door firmly behind her, she rushed over to the fire and held her hands out to the dancing flames.

‘Bloody men!’ she muttered.

 

The children were highly excited when they got home late that afternoon, and Lizzie shot off up the stairs with two parcels gripped under her arm.

Danny grinned at her innocently. ‘Just a couple o’ things we picked up fer Christmas,’ he told her as he saw the question in her eyes.

Eric winked at her as if to say, ‘Ask no questions,’ so she hurried away to put the kettle on instead.

When Lizzie reappeared, Maggie nodded at an envelope propped up on the mantelpiece. ‘A letter came for you two today. It looks like it’s from your gran.’

Lizzie handed it to Danny. ‘Go on, you read it out to me,’ she told him eagerly.

Danny slit it open with his thumb, and as he withdrew the sheet of paper inside, two ten-shilling notes fluttered to the ground. Whooping with delight, Lizzie pounced on them and told him, ‘Well, go on then.’

Slowly he began:
‘Dear Lizzie and Danny, I hope this letter finds you both well and looking forward to Christmas. I have put some money inside for both of you, as it’s unlikely that I shall see you. Buy yourselves something nice with it from me. I hope you are both settling down there and behaving yourselves for your mam. Everything is fine here. Jo is getting bigger every single day and she and your Uncle David can hardly wait for the baby to come now . . .’

Danny continued to read the letter aloud as Maggie glanced across at Eric. He was frowning and his eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline. He looked at her as if for an explanation, but she merely looked away. Let him think what he liked. It would serve him right for jumping to conclusions.

As she laid the tea on the table he was unnaturally quiet, though the twins more than made up for it with their excited chatter. They’d spent a wonderful day in town and then come home to a letter from their gran, which was the icing on the cake. On top of that, they now had ten whole shillings each to spend on anything at all they liked!

The mood was light as they shot ideas as to just what they should spend it on across the table at each other.

‘Why don’t you save it?’ Eric suggested.

Maggie laughed. ‘You
must
be joking. It would burn a hole in their pockets.’

‘We could buy a little present for the baby when it comes from both of us, with some of it,’ Danny suggested through a mouthful of homemade bread and jam.

Lizzie pondered. ‘Wouldn’t it be better to wait till it’s born? That way we could buy it something pink or blue,’ she pointed out.

Danny shrugged. ‘I reckon I’ll leave that to you then. I ain’t much good when it comes to baby things.’ His eyes grew dark as a picture of Lucy flashed in front of his eyes. He still missed his baby sister every single day. Maggie saw the look and her heart ached too. There was a great hole inside her that no one could fill since she had lost Lucy and her mother, but she knew that she had to go on for the twins’ sake. They’d all been through so very much, but they still had each other and that was what kept her going.

Suddenly the mood had changed and silence hung over them.

Sensing their sadness, Eric suddenly asked, ‘So why is your Uncle David so excited about Jo’s baby then?’ He’d been longing to ask ever since Danny had read his gran’s letter aloud. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t, but now his curiosity had got the better of him and it was too late to take the question back.

‘’Cos it’s their first baby, I suppose,’ Danny told him. ‘They kept talkin’ about what they might call it when it was born, after the weddin’. Didn’t they, Mam?’

Maggie felt her cheeks burning as Eric scratched his head in confusion.

‘After
whose
wedding?’

‘
Their
weddin’, o’ course,’ Danny grinned. ‘They’re livin’ wi’ me gran fer now but once the baby’s born an’ the war’s over they’re goin’ to get somewhere of their own to live.’

Eric looked totally shocked and stared at Maggie as if for confirmation of what Danny had said.

‘It’s true,’ she muttered. ‘David and Jo got married a few days before Danny and I came back here. They make a wonderful couple. I think they’ll be very happy together. At least I hope they will.’

‘But I thought you and . . .’ Eric forced himself to stop from going any further. The twins were watching him closely and he didn’t want to say too much in front of them. There would be time to talk to Maggie about this when the youngsters were safely tucked up in bed.

By the time they said goodnight, Eric was almost bursting with curiosity. Why hadn’t Maggie told him that David had married her friend? He’d assumed after she told him her life story that she and David were destined for each other, so how could she be happy about him marrying someone else?

When she came back down the stairs after seeing to the twins he was waiting for her.

‘So, how about you tell me just what’s been going on then?’ he demanded, the second she closed the door behind her.

‘There’s nothing more to tell other than what Danny’s already told you,’ she said sharply. ‘When I got back home I saw immediately that David and Jo had fallen for each other. To be honest, I think I saw it even before they did. Obviously, I was very taken up with visiting Danny in the hospital, and then one night I got back and David told me how he felt about her.’

‘And what did you tell him?’

‘I told him not to waste time; gave them both my blessing. If there’s one thing that this war has taught me, it’s that time is short. None of us know if we are even going to be here tomorrow, so every moment is precious. Just a few short months ago, I had a mother, a husband and a beautiful baby girl. Danny had two very special friends. Now they’re all gone and they won’t be coming back. Somehow we have to go on and make the best of what we have. So now, if you don’t mind, I’m really tired and I’m going up to bed. Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Maggie, wait . . .’ His only answer was the sound of the door closing behind her and for a while he stood there staring off into space. So much of what she had said made sense. Slowly he made his way to the dining room where he clicked on the light and stared up into the face of his late wife. Was he imagining it, or did he see a great sadness in her eyes? His shoulders sagged as he turned about and slowly climbed the stairs to his lonely bed. What was it Maggie had said?
Time is short.

 

Overnight, the snow began to fall again as it was prone to do in the Welsh hills, and Lizzie and Danny shrieked with excitement when they managed to rub off a small patch on the ice that had formed on the inside of the bedroom window and peep through it.

Everywhere looked clean and fresh again.

‘Come on, let’s go and tell Mam an’ Eric!’ Danny exclaimed as he manoeuvred his wheelchair towards the bedroom door.

Lizzie thumped off down the stairs ahead of him and within seconds came back with Eric, who carried him downstairs.

Maggie grinned at him. She was standing at the sink and, knowing how much Danny loved the snow, she had guessed that he would be thrilled to see it again. The snow here seemed to be completely different to the snow they got back at home in Coventry. Within minutes of it falling there, it was turned to dirty grey slush from the many footsteps that trooped through it. But here it made everything look crisp and bright.

‘This is goin’ to be the
best
Christmas ever,’ Danny declared as he stabbed his fork into a fat juicy sausage.

‘Oh yes, and what would you
really
like for Christmas then, if you could have anything in the world you wanted?’ Eric asked him with a twinkle in his eye.

Danny suddenly became solemn as he looked at the faces gathered around the table. Glancing at Lizzie he said quietly, ‘What Lizzie an’ I would both like more than anythin’ in the world would be fer us both to be able to stay here at
Tremarfon
forever.’

Maggie almost choked on the piece of bacon she’d just swallowed and Eric had to jump up and thump her on the back as she turned a frightening shade of red.