More Than Friends (25 page)

Stunned into silence, she tried to absorb his words. He regretted missing out when she was a child. He almost sounded as if he were more disappointed in himself than in her. “I have a ton of happy memories involving you from my childhood. You taught me the value of hard work, of using logic to work through a problem, and the power of words to change a situation. Just because I’m not using those lessons in the way you had hoped I might, they’re still valuable to me now.”

“I worry about you.” His hands tightened on the wheel. “I know you’re smart and well-trained and I shouldn’t worry because you can take care of yourself. But I know, firsthand, what kind of criminals are out there. They don’t have your sense of honor, and if you corner them, they don’t fight fair. Some of my clients—let’s just say I pray you don’t come up against them someday.”

“And you think getting me a job in your firm will make me safer?”

He smiled wistfully. “At least then I could watch over you.”

A thickness settled in the back of her throat. “I appreciate that you want to, Dad, but I don’t need you to. You raised me to take care of myself. You and Mom made me strong enough to do that and so much more. Though I may forget it sometimes, I do the job I do so I can help others.” She paused, letting the reminder to herself sink in. Now more than ever, the responsibility of her job hit home. “So, I hope you understand why I can’t work for you.”

“I do.”

He pulled into a spot in front of Melanie’s apartment and she looked up at Melanie’s living-room window. The closed drapes softened the glow coming from inside, and she couldn’t wait to get there. She’d been allowed a few minutes to make a call before her interview and had contacted Melanie to warn her about anything she might see on the news. After she’d assured her that she was safe, Melanie told her to call her back when she was done, no matter how late it was. But right now she wouldn’t be satisfied with a phone conversation. She needed something more physical.

She reached for the door handle, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Evie, about Melanie—”

“Dad, I don’t—”

“I’ll ask your mother to set another place at dinner next Sunday.”

She stared at him, shocked by the blessing he’d just given. “I’ll ask her.”

“We’ll see you then.”

“Thanks, Dad.” She leaned across the console and threw her arms around his shoulders. He squeezed back and, when she eased away, tears stung her eyes.

“Don’t worry about what happened today. The investigation is a formality. If you have doubts about any part of the process, don’t say anything to anyone without talking to me first. But in my opinion, you’ll be back out there in a few days.”

She nodded, wishing her resolution of today’s events could be as simple as police procedure. She headed up the walk to Melanie’s building, knowing that her first step to healing began inside that apartment.

*

Melanie opened the door seconds after Evelyn rang the bell. She glanced past Evelyn at the SUV leaving the parking lot, then stepped aside and waited for her to enter. For the past several hours she’d alternated between pacing and finding busywork to occupy her time. As a result her apartment was cleaner than it had been in weeks. “Was that your father?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“I saw the news broadcast. Are you okay?”

Evelyn nodded and then stopped as tears filled her eyes. “No.”

“Oh, baby, come here.” Heart aching, she caught Evelyn’s hand and pulled her into her arms.

Evelyn buried her face in Melanie’s neck. Their embrace broke the dam, and a series of sobs and gasping breaths cascaded into her hair. She held Evelyn tighter, murmuring encouragement and rubbing Evelyn’s back.

When Evelyn’s crying eased, Melanie gently urged her into the bedroom. Her need to take care of Evelyn mingled with the sadness and confusion shining in Evelyn’s eyes. Tonight, she could forget about the fear that had swamped her as she stared in horror at the television. Tonight, she would take care of Evelyn.

“Let’s get this off you. It’s digging into my hip.” She unsnapped the various loops that secured Evelyn’s gun belt to the leather belt underneath, then unbuckled it and lowered it to the floor next to the bed. She opened her uniform shirt, slipped it off her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor as well. The badge still pinned to the front thumped heavily on the hardwood. She ripped back the Velcro straps that secured Evelyn’s Kevlar vest and removed it as well.

Evelyn stood motionless while she continued to strip her down to her panties and white T-shirt. With each layer, Evelyn’s pain became more evident in the tears gathering in her eyes and the sadness painting her features. But she proceeded slowly, stroking her hands over Evelyn between each article, hoping her tender touch eased the sting of the haunting images.

When Evelyn was naked, she guided her into bed. She hastily pulled off her own clothes and climbed in next to her. She touched Evelyn’s cheek, forcing back the suffocating fear that had been her companion since she heard about the shooting. Evelyn was safe. She tried to ignore the voice in her head that tacked “for now” onto the end of that sentence.

No. Evelyn was here and physically, at least, she was unscathed. That’s what she needed to focus on. She folded back the covers and examined Evelyn’s body, reassuring herself that nothing had touched her.

She traced Evelyn’s jaw and down her neck, then followed the curve of her collarbone. Evelyn’s shoulder was round and tight beneath her hand, and a groove separated it from her defined bicep. Evelyn’s strength had impressed her, made her feel cherished, and totally turned her on. But now she could only worry—that all of this brawn wouldn’t be enough to protect Evelyn. She placed her palm on Evelyn’s chest, spreading her fingers to span her ribs.

She would not be rushed, even when Evelyn urgently whispered her desires. She caressed Evelyn slowly, converting her fear into attention. Evelyn moaned when she massaged her calves and rubbed her feet. As she worked her way back up Evelyn’s legs, she lightened her touch and teased her inner thighs.

“Yes, a little higher,” Evelyn said, and the muscles in her thighs visibly tightened in anticipation.

Melanie grasped her hip and rolled her over. She stretched out next to her and trailed her fingers along her spine. When she reached her lower back, Evelyn shivered. She moved over her, bracing on her arms and resting her hips against Evelyn’s buttocks. Evelyn lifted her hips. She pressed harder, reveling in Evelyn’s firm ass against her sensitive flesh. She thrust again and again, until her own wetness cooled on her inner thigh.

She lifted herself away from Evelyn and moved aside. “Turn over,” she whispered.

Evelyn rolled over and reached for her. Melanie nestled into her and sighed. Arousal still hummed through her body—a need to please and be pleased—but for a moment she was content to be enveloped in Evelyn’s arms.

Evelyn rubbed her back in long, easy passes up and down the length of her. She smiled against Evelyn’s neck, then maneuvered her hand between them. She slipped her finger easily inside Evelyn with a minimum of movement. She stroked her slowly at first, and Evelyn held onto her.

At Evelyn’s urging, she thrust deeper, keeping her pace controlled. Evelyn pressed her mouth close to her ear and chanted her pleasure, letting her know when she was close, when she needed just a little more. The muscles in her arm burned with each stroke, but she didn’t relent, needing Evelyn’s release even more than her own pleasure. Her heart filled when Evelyn clung to her even more tightly.

“Oh, God, yes,” Evelyn rasped as her body tensed and she arched her back.

Melanie held on. Tears filled her throat. She buried her face in Evelyn’s hair and breathed in her scent, trying to infuse herself with it—to imprint this moment into her mind.

Evelyn trembled and sighed. She rolled to her back, keeping Melanie close to her side. Minutes later, Evelyn slid the hand resting on Melanie’s back down to her butt.

“Not yet,” she said. “You just enjoy yours for a while.”

Evelyn made a small sound of contentment, squeezed her ass, and returned her hand to the curve of her back.

She closed her eyes.

“Mel?”

“Yeah?”

“What was that? I mean, something was different, wasn’t it?”

Melanie slowly opened her eyes, but she didn’t answer right away. She traced Evelyn’s bicep and down her forearm. “So strong,” she whispered as Evelyn’s muscles tensed under her hand.

Evelyn rubbed her fingertip against her cheek, collecting the residue of a renegade tear. “What’s wrong?”

“They put your picture on the news.”

“That’s what they do when something like this happens.”

She sat up, one quick motion that ripped her away from Evelyn. She bowed her back as she wrapped her arms around her drawn-up knees. “Damn it, I didn’t want to date another cop.”

“I hope at this point I’m not just another cop.” Evelyn’s hurt feelings bled through in her voice.

“That makes it even worse.”

“Are you worried about tonight? Because you know this type of thing almost never happens. Most officers go their entire careers without firing their gun.”

“But it does happen. And it can get so much worse. It’s not just a shooting. Remember that officer that got hit by the drunk driver while working a wreck last year?” In a follow-up story, one of the television news programs reported months later that he was still undergoing physical therapy and needed six fake teeth to replace the ones that had been smashed when his face hit the pavement.

“Hey, nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“Don’t say that. You can’t be certain. All you’re doing is dismissing my very real concerns.”

“I know this scared you. It scared me a little, too. But this is what we’re trained for.” Evelyn reached for her, certain she could reassure her.

Melanie shook her head. “I’ve lived with this fear for the past seven years. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t wait for something bad to happen.”

Evelyn’s heart broke at the resignation in Melanie’s voice. Just now, when they’d made love, she’d felt more connected than she’d ever been with another person, more connected than she even thought possible. But maybe Melanie hadn’t felt the same thing. “What do you want me to say? I’m starting out at a deficit because you’re carrying over your problems from your relationship with Kendall.”

“They’re the same with you.” Melanie rolled her eyes. “I let myself jump into this and convinced myself it could be different with you.”

“It can be. It
is
different. We’re different.”

“But you’re still a cop. I don’t want to be the wife sitting at home alone every evening worrying anymore. I don’t want to live for the weekends so I can spend some time with you.”

“Okay, now it feels like we’re talking about two different concerns.” Evelyn canted her head to the side, trying to read Melanie’s expression. “Are you upset that I might get hurt? Or are we talking about my working evening shift?”

“I—uh, a little of both, I guess.”

“Well, that doesn’t have to be an issue—”

“But it is. I’ve been in this position before. Our schedules suck. I work days, you’re on evenings. Right now, we’re wooing each other, and it’s one thing to exhaust myself staying up late with you and settling for stolen phone calls when what I really want is to be with you. But I don’t want to still be here years from now.”

“That’s not fair. I’m not Kendall.”

“But I will always be Kendall’s ex. I can’t change that. And I shouldn’t forget the lessons I learned from my relationship with her. I shouldn’t make the same mistakes again.”

The impact of Melanie’s words was so sharp, she wouldn’t have been surprised to learn she’d actually been struck. Melanie thought getting involved with her was a mistake. “You’ve said before that you didn’t want to date another cop. But I guess I convinced myself you didn’t really mean it.”

“Evelyn—”

“I foolishly let myself believe you finally saw me as an individual, instead of just some carbon copy of Kendall.”

She surged out of bed and scrabbled on the floor for her clothes. She tugged on her panties and her T-shirt, skipping her bra.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I’ve had a very long day and I don’t want to argue right now.”

“You don’t have to go.” Melanie sat up and the sheet slid off her shoulder. Her damn nipples drew Evelyn’s attention like a magnet. She jerked her eyes away and focused on getting dressed.

“What should I do, Mel?” She hated the way her voice broke on Melanie’s name. “Should I stay? Maybe we could fuck again.” She purposely used the word that least described what their encounter had been for her. “And then in the morning you can tell me again how you don’t want to date me. Where does that leave us, Melanie?”

“I don’t know. I’m just—”

“Just what?” she snapped as she pulled on her uniform pants and gathered the rest of her clothes in her arms.

Melanie stared at her as she turned and left the room. She was halfway down the hall when she thought she heard Melanie finish her sentence.

“Just scared.”

She didn’t turn around, because she’d made her exit and didn’t know how to go back. She’d never been here before, so blindly in love with someone that she wanted to beg for whatever Melanie was willing to give her. But Melanie couldn’t even distinguish her from Kendall. So obviously her feelings weren’t returned. Maybe she
was
just a rebound.

Chapter Twenty-one

A bead of sweat crept from under Melanie’s ball cap and ran down the side of her face. She swiped at it, but since her hands were covered in dirt, she probably only made a streak of mud across her cheekbone. She didn’t feel like expending the energy to pull the bandana from her pocket and scrub at it, though. She picked up her Thermos and took a long drink of cool water. Then she knelt and submerged her hands back into the soil she’d just dumped in the narrow flower bed that skirted the outside of a gazebo.

For the past two days, she’d traveled to several of the company’s job sites and worked for a day with each crew. She liked to check in with them anyway, so she took the opportunity to get her hands into a variety of projects. This week especially, she appreciated the distraction of physical labor. She had ventured back to the office one day to work on some overdue paperwork, but she only ended up staring into space and thinking about Evelyn.They hadn’t spoken since Wednesday night when Evelyn walked out on her.