More Than He Expected (4 page)

But Alex didn’t know how she felt about things. Their
relationship had ended on a positive note as far as he was concerned. And given
the firm arousal that had pressed into her back less than an hour ago, he’d
arrived alone and interested in having another go at it.

At least he
had.
Until twenty-two
weeks of belly had come between them. Now he probably thought she was as sexy as
a beluga whale—or worse in Alex’s mind—a pregnant woman.

It was probably for the best. There was a reason why she’d
planned her man-break to coincide with the pregnancy. It was built-in willpower.
And lately, she’d needed it. The months of celibacy and the second-trimester
hormones had done a number on her libido. If Alex was still interested, she’d be
tempted to use him for a couple nights of hot sex, the way he used every other
woman in his life. Turnabout was fair play, right?

But, fortunately, she didn’t have to worry. Alex would stay at
arm’s length from her all week, and she wouldn’t need the strength necessary to
turn him down. And she
would
have to turn him down.
She’d done so well. She didn’t want to fall off the wagon, even for a guy like
Alex.

“Alex, have you met everybody?” Adrienne set down her glass of
tea on the table and began fulfilling her role as hostess by introducing her
guests.

Gwen had heard it all before, but she listened a second time in
the hope she would actually retain the information. First was Emma, Adrienne’s
half sister of sorts. She was actually the child of George and Pauline Dempsey,
who had lost their older daughter in the same wreck that had nearly killed
Adrienne. They’d unofficially adopted Adrienne and let her take Emma shopping or
on trips from time to time. Emma had just graduated from high school, and when
she got home, she had to pack up and get ready for her freshman year at
Yale.

Next was Sabine, a somewhat funky twentysomething who managed
Adrienne’s boutique. She had a nose piercing and a bright purple stripe in her
black hair, so Gwen wasn’t quite sure what to make of her. Adrienne ran in
diverse circles.

Peter and Helena were a middle-aged couple who lived in the
brownstone next to Will and Adrienne’s new place on the Upper West Side.
Rounding off the crowd was Wade, one of Will and Alex’s friends from Yale and
Alex’s former business partner, and Jack, an editor for one of the big New York
publishing houses. Apparently he had worked with Will at the paper a few years
back.

It was a blur of names and faces that Gwen would forget the
minute the next name was called. She’d blame her short-term memory loss on the
pregnancy—it was easy to label almost anything as a symptom of her condition—but
the truth of the matter was that she was simply bad with names. At work, it was
easy. All the staff had name tags, and all the patients had their names on a
plaque outside their door or a clipboard hanging at the foot of their bed.

When the introductions were finished, she decided her time
standing in the sun was over. It had felt good at first, but now she was a
minute or two from starting to burn. Taking her glass of iced tea, Gwen returned
to the shade of the pergola and sat down on one of the cushioned Adirondack
chairs.

Leaning back into the cool comfort of her chair, she instantly
felt better. Thank goodness she wasn’t full-term in the heat of the summer. Gwen
wasn’t sure she could bear that. Her apartment didn’t have central air, just a
small unit in the bedroom window. Most of the time she was cold natured and it
suited her fine, but she’d had fire running through her veins the last few
months.

Taking a refreshing sip of the sweet tea she’d brewed earlier,
she watched the men gather around the grill. Apparently millionaires could run
companies and build empires, but outdoor cooking was a challenge. She watched
Alex open the cabinet beneath it and make some adjustments to the propane line.
A few minutes later, a roar of success sounded from the group.

“We have fire!” the editor guy—Jack?—shouted triumphantly.

Adrienne patted them all on the back and headed toward the
house. “I’m off to prepare the meat,” she said with a smile as she slipped
inside.

Sabine with the purple hair quickly grew bored with the sight
of an operating gas grill and came to sit in the shade with Gwen. They hadn’t
spoken much since she’d arrived. She was sure the woman was perfectly
nice—Adrienne was a good judge of people—but Gwen just didn’t know what they had
in common to discuss.

“When are you due?” Sabine asked before taking a sip from her
beer.

“Mid-October,” Gwen said, although watching the other woman
made her think the day couldn’t come soon enough. Of all the lifestyle changes
she’d had to make, the hardest had been giving up her favorite beer. She didn’t
drink much, but there was just something soothing about popping the top on a
cold one after a long shift, plopping onto the couch and watching a few hours of
reality television on her DVR.

“My son will be two in October, so I understand where you’re
at. Do you know what you’re having yet?”

Gwen tried not to look too surprised to learn Sabine was a
mother. Imagining her own mother with purple hair was just impossible. “A little
girl. I had the ultrasound last week.”

Susan and Robert had been over the moon in the doctor’s office.
It was hard to see the fuzzy image on the screen from her vantage point, but she
tried not to be too disappointed. This was their baby after all, not hers. They
did give her a copy of the latest ultrasound picture to show off. Unfortunately,
it was in her purse on her bed when she needed it.

“Do you have any names picked out yet?”

The more pregnant Gwen became, the more of these questions she
had to field. It had been easy when no one could tell she was pregnant. Now,
unless it was just a quick comment from a stranger on the subway, it was best to
tell them about her situation before they pressed on.

“No, actually, I’m a surrogate, so the baby technically isn’t
mine to name. I think her parents are considering Caroline Joy and Abigail Rose.
Every time I talk to them they’ve changed it again. For now I just call her
Peanut, because that’s what she looked like on the first sonogram.”

Sabine’s eyes had grown wider as Gwen talked. Apparently
dropping a detail like that and carrying on without pause had thrown her off her
guard. “A surrogate? Wow. I don’t think I could ever do that,” she finally
said.

“Why is that?”

“Being pregnant is such a life-changing experience. Whether or
not the child is yours, you’re going to bond with it. To go through months with
that baby inside you and then to give it away… I just couldn’t do it.”

Gwen tried not to frown at Sabine. She probably didn’t realize
how her words would affect her. But they struck a chord. Gwen had never been
interested in having a family of her own. She’d spent too much of her childhood
being pushed aside by her mother when a new man came into her life. She wasn’t
about to do that to a child of her own. Acting as a surrogate seemed like an
intriguing opportunity. Since she’d never thought she’d have kids, she’d never
thought she would experience pregnancy.

Never once did she consider that she’d form an emotional
attachment to another person’s child. But Sabine was right. She’d underestimated
what it was like to have life growing inside her. The moment she’d felt the
first flutter in her stomach, Peanut had become a real person to her. She’d
gotten in the habit of talking to the baby when she was alone in her apartment.
She was the one who helped Gwen pick out what she would have for lunch. The
silent child had become her main companion when her crowd of bar-hopping friends
didn’t know how to act around her anymore.

Gwen hadn’t really realized it until that moment, but she
had
bonded with the baby. With four more months to go,
how much worse would it get? She didn’t even want to think about it. She was too
prone to getting emotional lately.

Confused, she turned away from Sabine and found Alex watching
her from across the patio. He was leaning casually against one of the white
wooden posts, while either Jack or Wade, she couldn’t be sure, talked to him.
But he wasn’t looking at them or even pretending to. He was looking at her.
There was an intensity in his hazel eyes, but there was something different
there than the desire he’d directed at her in the past. It almost felt like
admiration, although she had no idea why Alex would look at her that way. She
was pregnant, broke and overworked. That was no condition to admire.

“He is one sexy piece of man,” Sabine commented, still
oblivious to the effect her words had on Gwen.

The comment startled Gwen into turning back to the woman beside
her. Sabine’s gaze was focused exactly in Alex’s direction. Gwen had no claim to
him, but the thought of him and Sabine together brought on a surge of jealousy
that chased away the last of her confusing emotions. She opted to play dumb.
“Who? Wade?”

“No, the guy who came late. Alex.”

“Ahh,” Gwen said, not trusting herself to comment further
without sounding either bitter or jealous to the other woman’s ears.

“Pity for me, but I think he’s into you.”

That perked Gwen’s attention. Her head snapped toward him, but
he had returned to his conversation. “Why would you say that?”

“Because he keeps watching you.”

“Maybe I’m just funny-looking.” She sighed.

“Nope,” Sabine said with certainty. “When you’re not watching,
he’s looking at you like you’re the sweetest strawberry tart in the bakery
window. He definitely wants a taste.”

Gwen subconsciously stroked her rounded stomach and shook her
head. “I appreciate you thinking so, but somehow I doubt he wants to take a bite
out of this.”

At that, Sabine cracked a crooked, knowing grin. “Oh, he does,”
she assured.

“Well, even if that were true, my life is a little complicated
right now. I’m not interested.”

Sabine laughed and shook her head. “I hardly think that
matters. I’ve had my share of experience with those rich, cocky types. They get
what they want, and they don’t care who they have to roll over in the process.
If I were you, I’d let him have his way with you. And let me tell you something
if you don’t already know. Between all the hormones and the increased blood
flow, sex in the second trimester can be absolutely mind-blowing. I bet that in
the experienced hands of a man like Alex, you can multiply that by ten at
least.”

Gwen’s jaw dropped open, but she didn’t have the words to
respond. Instead, she shifted her gaze back to Alex. This time he was watching
her, and his obvious, heated appraisal was enough to send a surprising surge of
desire down her spine.

Well, hell. She hadn’t counted on him still being attracted to
her. That certainly complicated things.

Willpower,
she reminded herself as
she sucked in a deep breath and began fidgeting with her bracelet. She was on a
man-break, and Alex was just the kind of man who had necessitated the break to
begin with. Her attraction to him was nothing more than hormones and months of
celibacy conspiring against her. But she could fight it. She had to. It didn’t
matter what Alex wanted. He couldn’t just snap his fingers and get his way.

And yet, as she looked at him across the patio, Gwen was fairly
certain her celibacy streak was on the verge of coming to a wild, passionate
end.

Three

B
y the time Gwen had taken the last bite of
her dinner, she thought she might literally burst. She’d recently regained her
appetite, and everything tasted so good, she couldn’t help herself. She’d had a
grilled chicken breast and a cheeseburger in addition to the array of sides
Adrienne had prepared. She was stuffed.

At least for an hour or so.

Given that Alex was watching her with his predatory gaze the
whole time, she probably should’ve curbed her ravenous appetite and picked
delicately at her food, but Peanut would have her way. After a rough first
trimester living on saltines and lemon-lime soda, the hunger and the ability to
keep it down were welcome. Even if the extra pounds were not. The doctor said
she was right on track with her weight gain, but after a lifetime of trying to
get smaller, not bigger, it was hard to change how she thought about things.

After they were done eating, several of the ladies started
rounding up dishes, and the guys went inside for what promised to be a rowdy and
high-stakes game of poker. Gwen scooped up her plate and a nearby bowl of potato
salad and followed the other women into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Helena chided, snatching the items away
from her the moment she crossed the threshold into the house. “You need to
rest.”

Gwen frowned. “I’m pregnant, not paralyzed. If washing dishes
is hazardous to my condition, someone needs to tell me, because I’ve been doing
it the whole time.”

“Of course not. But take the opportunity to relax for once,”
Adrienne said, brushing past her with a platter and another bowl. “We can handle
it.”

The cherry-and-granite kitchen was quite large, but even Gwen
realized that the four women already in there were bumping elbows and dancing
around to clean up. A fifth one with a protruding belly probably wouldn’t be
much help.

With a sigh, she snatched one of her favorite peppermint
candies from the bag she left on the counter, turned, and went back outside. The
sun had set, but the sky was still bright with orange-and-red hues streaking
across it. Beyond the pool and the expansive lawn that extended on both sides of
the house, she spied the boathouse and pier that led out into the harbor.

A walk would probably help things settle, she decided. She
slipped out of her sandals and kicked them to the side, then headed across the
perfectly manicured lawn. The blades of grass were soft and cool, welcoming the
bottoms of her feet to sink into them. It was a beautiful evening, one like she
hadn’t experienced in a long time. Along the tree line, she could see the
blinking dance of fireflies as they appeared for the night. The breeze coming
off the water was warm and salty, mingling with the scent of freshly mown
grass.

It reminded her of her home in Tennessee. There, of course, the
water was the creek that ran behind her grandparents’ house, but the grass and
the flashing lightning bugs were just the same. She had the urge to climb into
the tire swing her Paw-Paw had hung for her and sway for hours, as she used
to.

For a brief moment, Gwen was overcome with homesickness. She
loved Manhattan—the energy, the excitement, the culture. But it had never felt
like home to her. It made her wonder if she ever would’ve left Tennessee if it
hadn’t been the only way to get away from her mother. Following a guy she barely
had lukewarm feelings for wasn’t very smart, but it was a sure ticket out of her
mother’s clutches.

In the end, she and Ty went their separate ways, but she had
gotten what she wanted from him—about six hundred miles of breathing room and
her very own apartment, albeit tiny.

Gwen reached the pier and opted to walk out to the edge and
watch the water. The occasional boat would sail by and send a ripple across the
surface, but for the most part, the water was calm and still this time of day.
At the end of the rough, wooden planks, she sucked in a lungful of ocean air and
sighed.

She enjoyed getting away from the chaos more than she’d
expected. There was a serenity out here that seemed to sink into her bones and
force her muscles to unknot. Even Peanut had settled down and stopped squirming
around. It was a shame she wasn’t in the right tax bracket to live out here.
She’d have to take a job as a live-in nurse for some old, rich Hamptons resident
to do that. Unfortunately, caring for an entitled hypochondriac didn’t really
work for her.

Perhaps, after the baby was born, she should give some more
thought about going back to Tennessee. That would probably make it easier on
everyone with no awkward, obligatory visits. Robert and Susan could just take
their baby and continue life as it was before their accident, and Gwen could
return to the life she knew and start fresh.

The black, still waters around her beckoned. She couldn’t
remember the last time she’d been in a body of water that wasn’t chlorinated,
and she wanted to put her feet in it. Easing back, she sat on the boards and
pulled her dress up to her knees. The water was cool and refreshing as she
slipped her bare feet in to just above the ankles.

Looking out, she realized, as she had every time the idea of
moving home hit, that going back to Tennessee really wasn’t an option, as nice
as all this seemed. For one thing, her romanticized memories of home would never
hold up to reality. Paw-Paw and Gran were dead, and their old farmhouse and
cornfields had been leveled to put up a housing subdivision. Returning would
mean an apartment in Knoxville, which was a pretty sizable city, especially when
the University of Tennessee, her alma mater, was in session.

And for another thing, she’d have to deal with her mother. She
wasn’t a powerless five-year-old girl anymore, but the less angst Gwen had to
handle, the better.

Cheryl Wright was a desperate single mom on a never-ending
quest for love.

When her relationships were going well, Gwen had been in the
way and would get shipped off to her grandparents. When the relationship fell
apart, Gwen would come home and take care of the house, as her mother was too
distraught to get out of bed for days at a time. As Gwen got older, she was
really more of a housekeeper than a daughter, although a housekeeper wouldn’t
have to hear about how she was the reason her mother couldn’t keep a man.

Ever the expert, her mother had given Gwen an earful when she’d
told her she was moving to New York City with Ty. He was a no-good loser just
like her father, she’d warned. Of course, her mother was probably more concerned
about who would make her dinner than Gwen’s emotional health. Either way, it
didn’t matter. Gwen was gone and she couldn’t go back.

With a sigh, she gazed across the harbor at a sailboat passing
through. The mast was lined with white lights that twinkled across the surface
as it moved. The boat called to her and made her want to swim out to it. Maybe
she could convince the captain to take her on as first mate and she could just
sail away from her problems. It seemed like a solid enough plan. That’s what
she’d done by coming to New York, minus the boat.

And that was why returning to Tennessee would feel like a
defeat. Even though it would have nothing to do with Ty, her mother would get
too much satisfaction from telling her she was right. Her life in Manhattan was
hectic, but exciting. She worked at one of the top hospitals in the country and
got to help so many people. She’d built a life for herself here over the past
five years. She had friends. She was happy. At least until recently.

About a year ago, after another failed and mostly pointless
relationship, she’d started having this nagging feeling that something was
missing from her life. She didn’t know what. Gwen had never wanted to chase the
marriage and family that eluded her mother. But at the same time, whatever she
was doing wasn’t working, either. She was content, most days, but never really
happy.

That’s what her man-break was all about. A year off from the
roller coaster of her dating life. Her hope was that, by the time it was over,
she’d have a better idea of what she wanted. With four months left in her
pregnancy, she was still pretty clueless on that front.

“You know, I hear sharks like to come up into these cooler
waters and feed on the toes of pregnant women. It’s a delicacy in their culture.
Like sushi.”

Gwen would’ve been startled, but she’d heard the faint tread of
his footsteps on the planks of the pier. She didn’t bother to turn around and
look at him. “No. Everyone knows they all go to Florida for the holiday. It’s
like a buffet down there. Nothing hits the spot like a suntanned boogie
boarder.”

“Hmm. Quantity over quality, then.” Alex sat down alongside
her, crossing his legs to keep his khakis, loafers and argyle socks from getting
wet. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

“I got banned from the kitchen by the other ladies, so I went
for a walk and ended up out here. Why aren’t you in there playing poker?”

Alex shrugged and looked across the harbor. “It’s not really my
game. I might as well just hand them each a couple thousand dollars and be done
with it.” With a smile he turned to her. “I’d kick their asses at racquetball,
though.”

Gwen smiled back. She’d always thought of Alex as more athletic
and outgoing, so she wasn’t surprised he could whip a bunch of corporate types
at any kind of physical activity. His endurance was incredible. She blushed at
the thought and hoped the rapidly darkening evening would disguise it. She
didn’t want to give him any more encouragement.

“So, how have you been lately? Aside from pregnant and all? We
didn’t really get to talk much earlier.”

“I’ve been okay.” She shrugged dismissively. “Work always takes
up a lot of time. Preparing for the baby was a big deal, too. Lots of doctor
visits and paperwork. It’s a lot more complicated than just getting pregnant the
old-fashioned way.”

“And not nearly as fun, I’d wager,” Alex said, leaning
conspiratorially into her.

Gwen sighed. “No, not at all. Sadly, it’s been so long, I can
hardly draw much of a comparison.”

Alex wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her against
his side. “Why has my lovely Gwen suffered such a long dry spell? I find it hard
to believe.”

“You flatter me,” she said, shaking her head. “For one thing,
they pumped me so full of hormones to get ready for the surrogacy that a man
could’ve held a door for me and gotten me pregnant. Sex was out of the question.
It was also the wrong time to start up anything serious. Do you wait until the
third or fourth date to tell a man you can’t go out next week because you’ll be
busy getting pregnant?”

“The fourth, definitely.” Alex grinned. “But now that the deed
is done, aren’t you free to try dating again?”

Gwen couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “In theory, but dating? Do
you see this?” She looked down and pointed at her stomach. “This is
man-repellant. And I’d be afraid of the men that
are
interested in me at this point. They might have some creepy pregnancy fetish,
and that’s the last thing I need.”

Alex put a finger under her chin, tipped Gwen’s face up to him
and pinned her in place with his intense gaze. “Let me assure you that nothing
about you is repellant, and I’m most certainly a man.”

The light mood instantly changed. A sizzle of electricity
spanned the small gap between them, and Gwen could feel the beat of her heart
thumping wildly in her chest.

Darkness had blanketed them, but she could still see the lights
of the harbor reflecting in his eyes and the silver glow the moonlight cast
across one side of his face. He was a beautiful man. Gwen would never say so—it
wasn’t the kind of thing he would want to hear—but it was true. Something about
the lines and angles of his face drew her interest. His wide, disarming smile
and mischievous eyes pulled her in. The shaggy, loose strands of his golden hair
made her palms itch to run through them.

Alex was like some rogue angel in a painting that should be
hanging in a museum somewhere. Perfect, alluring and untouchable.

He was so close. A part of Gwen wanted to lean in and kiss him.
To take Sabine’s advice and use Alex for all he was worth. The other part of her
knew it would just mess with her mind.

Instead, Gwen rested her head on his shoulder, indulging in the
comfortable cocoon of being in his arms again and making it impossible for her
to kiss him. “And on top of everything,” she said, pointedly ignoring his words,
“I told you earlier I’ve sworn off men until after the baby is born. Being with
you was my one last hoorah before all this,” she said, rubbing her stomach. “I
needed some time to myself.”

* * *

Alex had watched the moonlight and shadows accentuate
the battle going on inside Gwen’s head until she finally hid from view. Unlike
the Botoxed beauties he was usually bombarded with, she was the kind of woman
whose every thought or feeling was plastered across her face. She didn’t even
try to disguise it, which made him wonder if she even knew. He wasn’t going to
let her hide from him. Not tonight.

“Stop,” he whispered.

She sat up and frowned, a pout thrusting her full lower lip out
to tease him. “What do you mean, ‘stop’?”

“Stop using this pregnancy as an excuse to push people away. It
won’t work on me.”

Gwen swallowed hard, her dark eyes widening slightly as she
searched for meaning in his face. Apparently she was clueless about how
transparent she was. Or how much attention he’d really paid to her when they
were together before. “I don’t know what you’re—”

“You want me,” he interrupted. “And I want you just as badly as
I did all those months ago. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no reason
to try to defuse the attraction between us just because of some artificial
barrier you’ve put in place. If you want me, give in to your feelings.”