More Than Lies (27 page)

“I’m so sorry, baby.” There I go again, but fuck me, I don’t know what else to say or do. I’m in new territory here. I’ve never dealt with death, or at least not someone so close to me. Granted, Trent and I weren’t friends in any form, but like Tara, he was a fixture within my own family for so long. He’s my brother’s best friend or was my brother’s best friend. Shit. Shane. Kylie. I can’t think about them at the moment. Tara needs me and I’ll give her anything she wants right now.

Her crying starts back again. Tears, I hate. Tara wailing, I can’t take. I don’t know what I have to do, but I know I have to do something to help her.

Moving my hand up, I place it onto her lower back and wrap my other around the back her of head, pulling her as close to me as I can possibly get her. “I don’t know what to do, but whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just tell me.” I bring my forehead forward, touching it to the top of hers as I close my eyes. I exhale a breath of air, feeling as though I’m at a loss.

“Make it go away. Take it away and make me forget.” Her voice is begging me and that makes me snap my lids wide open. I only know one way to make her forget, and that is the last thing I’m prepared for. She doesn’t need meaningless sex, not tonight, and not ever. Tara is better than that.

Is she even asking me to fuck her? I have no clue right now.

“Tara?” Her name comes out as a question, but no other words follow. I don’t know how to ask her to clarify or how to tread around her with what’s happened tonight. I certainly don’t have any intentions of hurting her. And adding sex into this will hurt Tara. I know her feelings for me are more than friends or even that of roommates. I’ve known it for a long time. It’s always written on her face, but I also know I can’t give her what she deserves or wants. I don’t do, nor have I ever wanted a relationship. I don’t fit into her family the same way she fits into mine. It would never work so it’s pointless to even go there.

“Please, Shawn. I’ve never asked you for anything. I need a break.” Her voice cracks. “Even if it’s a small one. I can’t take feeling like this. It hurts so bad and I want it to stop.” She lifts her head, causing me to pull my own back. “Please.”

I let my head fall all the way back against the leather padding on my headboard. This can’t happen. I’ve worked too hard to keep her untouched by me. And I’ve done a damn good job up until now. There have been so many times I’ve wanted to kiss her lips. So many times I’ve got off on just picturing her body in my mind. Truth be told, I can’t masturbate without thinking of her. I’ve wanted her just as much as she’s wanted me, maybe more. But she’s never once came right out and told me and I keep my desires buried down, not even admitting it to myself before tonight. Shit.

“Tara, I’ll take you home. I’ll even take you to my parents if that’s what you need, but this—” She cuts me off. Probably good, too because I don’t know what I’m saying; I’m rambling and I never ramble.

“No. I need you. You said anything. Please Shawn.” She pushes away from me. Planting her right palm on my chest and pushing up. “You’ll screw anything with tits, but me. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing.” My reply is immediate. And there isn’t. What Tara doesn’t grasp, is that she is perfect. She fits too perfectly in my arms. She isn’t too short or too thin. Her body molds to mine a little too well. “You just—”

“Don’t.” Her voice is final. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want. I have parents for that.” She removes her hand from my chest and I know she’s about to pull herself off my bed so I reach forward, gripping her waist, then I quickly pull her back to me, before flipping her onto her back in the middle of the bed. My body hovers over hers.

“Damn it, Tara, I’m not. But come on. You want more than a five-minute fuck and you know it. Same as I know, you’re better than that.”

“What I know is I want you, but you don’t want me, so move and let me up.”

I drop my head, knowing I’m going to regret this. Maybe not tonight or even tomorrow, but in the long run I’m going to regret this night one way or another.

My lips land down onto hers in a crashing motion. My left forearm is planted on the mattress next to her side so that I remain above her without crushing my full weight on top of her, but I let the lower half of my body land down on her thigh. She doesn’t think I want her or have ever wanted her, well then I’m going to prove that theory wrong. “I don’t want you? That’s what you think? Well, baby, I’m pretty sure I have a hard dick pressed against you that would say differently.”

I’m pissed now and I don’t know if it’s because she can’t see how much she turns me on or because I can’t deny myself the one thing I’ve wanted since I realized what my dick was meant for.

“I’m giving you one last chance to back out. Think about this, Tara.” I might be telling her she can walk out my door, but my eyes are begging her not to and my right hand has found her ass. I squeeze before slowly moving lower, onto the back of her thigh, before yanking it up, encouraging her to wrap her leg around my waist. “Don’t fucking regret me, tomorrow.” My words are whispered in a plea as I reach back up, fisting the band of her shorts and panties.

“Never.” She lifts her head, meeting my lips as I glide the material down her legs. Her mouth opens, allowing my tongue access to the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. The night I kissed her in Mac’s office at the bar has nothing on this moment. I wanted to kiss her last weekend, but I knew if I did, I’d be in the exact spot I’m in now, about to fuck her.

Tossing her bottoms in the direction behind me, I bring my hand back up, bunching the material of my t-shirt. I need all barriers removed so I can feel every inch of her. If this is going to be my one and only time with Tara, I plan on taking my time. By the time I wake up tomorrow, I want to have every inch of her memorized. Burned into my brain so I’ll never forget.

“Get this shirt off, now.” I lift myself, twisting to reach the bedside table to access a condom. Before I slam the drawer close, I feel her. Tara is in a seated position, sitting in front of me. She starts to remove my belt from the loops of my blue jeans and as I turn back around her tongue lands on my abdomen. The warmth from the heat inside her mouth radiates through me. She kisses and nips along my skin, to my shock, it causes a fire to radiate inside me running down all the way to my cock. Before I realize it, the button on my pants is popped open and the zipper is down. Tara immediately pushes my jeans and boxers down my legs all at once.

When her lips brush against the head of my dick, I suck in a strong gush of air. Holy...

Grabbing the back of her hair, I yank her mouth away from my junk and push her down onto her back. I was seconds away from losing my shit. There is no way I’m allowing this to end prematurely. I just need a minute to gain my control back. I take both of her hands, bringing them above her head and clasping my left hand onto her wrists, holding her securely.

Shit, the sight before me halts my movements to discard the rest of my clothes. Tara, naked is something to cherish. She is beautiful lying beneath me with her tan skin on display, just for me. Her full, round tits are positioned high on her chest because I have her arms raised. God, they are gorgeous. I want to taste them, suck and bite them. I want to fuck that beautiful rack until I paint her chest with my white creamy cum. I’m growing harder just thinking about the dirty fantasy that’s played over and over in my mind for years.

My head lowers until my lips meet her nipple. Tara’s body jolts once contact is made. My tongue juts out, licking from below her nipple to the top of her breast. The upper half of her body lifts, pushing her nipple into my mouth. I accept it, sucking as much as I can in. As I slowly pull back, I swirl my tongue around her tight nipple a few times before my mouth pops off.

“Don’t stop,” she demands.

“I don’t plan on it, baby.”

My lips and tongue go to her other breast, paying equal attention. I’ve never been this attentive to a woman in my life, but Tara deserves it and I want to do it.

My palm skims down her ribs, moving smoothly over her lower abdomen until I reach the bare surface of her pussy. I smile around her nipple before lightly biting down. Tara’s hips lift an inch or so off the bed as my middle finger slides through her slick folds, slipping inside smoldering liquids. Her insides grab onto my finger before I’m able to draw back, trying to hold me inside her.

My mouth works its way back up to her neck, where I lick, kiss, and lightly suck until I reach her lips again. I take them, rougher this time around. At the same time I reenter her pussy, adding another finger this time. I slam my way to the hilt because after last weekend I know she likes it hard.

“Ahhh,” Tara moans into my mouth. “Again, please again.”

My digits slam in and out of her, over and over. Tara arches her back as her eyes flutter close. My mouth moves at a slow pace away from her lips, across her cheek, until I’m pressed against her ear. My thumb presses hard against her clit.

“Are you close, Tara?” I know she is. I can feel her all around my fingers. If I could fit my whole damn fist inside her, I would, just to feel her insides contracting around me as she is now, but that won’t happen. Tara is snug inside her wet pussy. When she doesn’t say anything, my other hand tightens around her wrists. “Tara, answer me.”

“Yeees,” her voice is soft, low and breathy.

“Come for me and I’ll suck every drop of come from your pussy.” I didn’t get a taste last weekend and I’m dying for that chance now.

“Oh, Go…ahhhhhh. Oh.” Her walls rapidly contract around me as she orgasms. My fingers slip out as her body slows. Her chest heaves up and down. And I do something I don’t ever recall doing before this moment. I bring my fingers to my lips and suck her scent into my mouth. She is sweet, yet tangy. It’s light and wonderful and definitely something I want to do again.

It’s not that I’ve never gone down on a girl before. I have, but it’s not an act I do regularly. What the hell am I supposed to get out of it? Nada.

Keeping my promise, I release her wrists and move down her body until my eyes land on soaking wet, dark pink flesh that is calling out for me to devour. My flat tongue swipes up from the bottom to her clit.

“Shawn.” Tara calls out as she pulls her back, up and off the mattress. My eyes snap up to hers as I dip my tongue inside her. Her eyes widen as she pulls air in through her mouth. Tara tries to scoot backwards, but my hands wrap around her ass, tightening so she can’t move further away from me.

“I don’t think so, baby. You’re not going anywhere until I’m done.” I pull her a few inches closer to my face. “Stay just the way you are. Watch.” With that I look back down and take another sweep upwards. With my fingers, I pull Tara’s skin back so I can latch onto her clit.

“Too…ahh…sen. Oh my God, Shawn.” My eyes roam back up. Tara’s head has fallen back to her shoulders.

“Uh-uh. Watch me, Tara.” Her head rolls forward until she is looking down the bed at me.

“I’m too sensitive.” Tara takes a breath, closing her eyes and reopening them to look at me. “Please, put on the condom and—” Her voice trails, not finishing, but I press her for the rest. I want to hear her say it.

“And what, Tara?” I ask then swirl my tongue around her clitoris. When she doesn’t answer, “Tara.” I suck her clit in-between my teeth and bite down. Not hard, but with enough pressure to get her attention.

“Fuck me, Shawn. Just fucking fuck me already.” God, fucking hell if that didn’t solidify my dick, hardening me until the point I need to plunge inside her and cum like I’ve never needed to more.

I come up onto my knees, grabbing the foil package. Within seconds, I rip it open and sheath it onto my dick in record time. After tossing the wrapper, I bend forward, falling over Tara and capturing her lips with mine.

“Say, you’re sure.” I need reassurance. I’ve always been confident except when it comes to her.

“I’m sure.” I press a gentle kiss to her lips as I press inside. Bliss doesn’t come close to a word to describe what’s going through me at this very moment. She’s snug around me. Her muscles contract every few seconds making my thoughts blank. My dick is incased inside an inferno that I never want to exit.

After pulling back, I ease back in slowly, making love to Tara; making love for the first time in my damn life.

How I’ll ever go back to having meaningless sex again, I do not know. I don’t want to think of anything else but these feeling taking over. This is good. So damn good, but I’m not an idiot. She’s too good for me.

I feel his chest expand from underneath me before he blows out a heavy force of air. “You're thinking too hard.”

What does that mean? It's impossible for Shawn to know what I’ve been lying here thinking for the past ten minutes since I woke up. Maybe I should have eased out of his bed and left before he woke up. At least that way we wouldn’t be left with the awkwardness of what this could turn into. But I couldn’t do it. I spent the first five minutes trying to talk myself into it, but this feels too good to ruin.

Lifting my head, I look up to meet his gaze. His normal, self-assured expression is nowhere in sight. It's been replaced with uncertainty and what I think looks to be a touch of fear. “Do you want me to get up and leave?” I don’t want to, but you can only live in a fictional world for so long. Eventually reality comes back to life.