More Than Physical (The Physical Series Book Book 2) (13 page)

“Why are you picking at your food? We came here for lunch because it’s your favorite Thai place. Aren’t you hungry?”

Sasha looked down at her plate and then back up to Rylie, who was staring at her as if she’d grown two heads. The question knocked her back into the orbit she’d been circling for the last two hours. Sasha’s chest felt tight, her palms damp and her skin itchy, like she was suffering from some kind of disease, and the only cure was to be with Jax again. And God how she wanted that. A lot.

Now that she was sitting across the table from her best friend – the soon-to-be wife of Jackson’s best friend, she felt like a complete liar. She’d not only been lying to herself about what was happening between her and Jax, but she’d left Rylie completely in the dark about their recent hook-ups. The secret was like a dam waiting to break, the small crack in the concrete ready to burst open at any moment.

Sasha wanted nothing more than to share about her love-life, just like old times. But she also worried what Rylie would say once she found out. Would she be mad at her for fucking around with Jackson?

Rylie knew of Sasha’s love life – or sex life, as it was. She was well aware of Sasha’s intent never to settle down and her disinterest in long-term relationships.

What Rylie didn’t know, however, was the real reason behind her trepidation and fear over finding someone to share her life with. And for that, Sasha felt even guiltier for not trusting her secret with her best friend, whom she shared all of her other intimate secrets with in the past. God, she was a horrible friend.

Sasha glanced around the restaurant, trying to avoid the eye contact that Rylie was in search of.

“Are you all right? You seem…off. And not just today, but over the last week. What’s going on with you?”

Dammit, the concern in Rylie’s voice had Sasha turning to meet her warm brown eyes, which were doused with worry and loving compassion.

“I…uh…oh fucking hell.” Sasha gently placed her chopsticks on the table and steadied her gaze on Rylie, blinking a few times before finding her courage. “It’s Jackson. I…um…we’ve been fucking.”

She heard a collective gasp from an elderly couple at the table next to them and waved them off in apology. Serves them right for listening in on their semi-private conversation.

Sasha turned back to face Rylie, who started at her blankly for what seemed like an eternity. Normally, Rylie was an open book. Sasha could read her friend’s emotions by simply looking at her face. But this time, Sasha had no idea what was going on in Rylie’s brain or what she thought about the confession she’d just made.

Was she angry? Stunned? Relieved? Happy? Going to disown her?

Her hand smacked down on the wobbly table, jolting the water glasses and silverware. “Say something, for fuck’s sake,” Sasha demanded testily. “I know it’s stupid. Believe me, I
know
…we’re not compatible one bit. I’m me and well, he’s Jax…and we’re…”

Rylie grabbed her water glass and took a large gulp before setting it down with shakey hands. Raising her head, she tilted it to the side, her lips pursed and brows creased.

Finally, after several long, drawn out minutes, allowing enough time for Sasha to shift uncomfortably in her chair, her friend spoke up.

“I don’t get it. You don’t even like Jackson…isn’t that what you’ve said? And I quote,” she made air quotes for emphasis. “
He’s the most insanely boring man I’ve ever met. I’d have more fun at a senior night Bingo game than I do when I’m around him.
” So what the hell changed?”

Sasha felt her face scrunch in abashed shame, her eyes staring downward where her hands were placed demurely in her lap. There was no denying that she’d made a very harsh and unjustified judgment of Jackson early on. Okay, maybe a
few
harsh judgments. But to be fair, that was before she really got to know him.

For some reason, the few times she’d been with Jackson before they hooked-up had all been humdrum experiences. He didn’t speak much and always acted bored or appalled by some comment she made, like he was some sort of male prude. Or maybe her mischaracterization of Jax was of her own doing. Maybe she projected a negative consequence every time they were together and went into with an expectation that he would be dull, choosing to completely ignore the absolutely stellar qualities the man possessed.

A self-fulfilling prophecy of epic proportion.

Like his humor, for example. Once she got to know him more, she found him to have a brilliant knack of making her laugh. He picked on her like a teenage boy teasing a girl about her quirks, calling Sasha out on her spoiled behaviors. No other man had ever done that with her. She’d always been treated with kid gloves. Like a diva princess who was too delicate to mess with. But coming from Jax, it was all in good fun.

Sasha came to the realization that Jax was just…a
good
man.

“I admit,” she confessed, her hands toying with her napkin on her lap. This was so unlike her to admit when she was wrong. “I may have misjudged him at the beginning. He’s different than I expected.”

“Hmm. I see.”

Dammit
. Rylie was really going to make her work for this. All she wanted to know was if Rylie thought this was a good idea. She wanted her friend to tell her it was going to be okay, just like she’d done on countless occasions over the years when she’d found her way into one relationship drama or another.

Well, relationship would be too strong of a word to describe Sasha’s vast and vivid dating life. Not all were Tinder-type hook-ups, some men she did date for more than a few weeks at a time. But they all ended in some way or another. And all required a listening ear from her best friend.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say is “
I see
”?” Sasha was beside herself. She had been waiting for the wrath of Rylie. Or at least some level of tirade to put her in her place. And instead, she got a strangely calm, albeit, curious inquest.

“What am I supposed to say, Sash? Do you want me to tell you the truth? What I really think?”

She nodded her head. “Yes. Of course.”

“I honestly don’t think you’ll want to hear it.” Rylie cleared her throat, catching Sasha’s eyes with her own. They looked weary. Uncertain.

“What? Do you think I’m just toying with him, is that it? That I’ll play him until I get tired of it and toss him aside? That it will ruin your upcoming wedding because it will be uncomfortable?”

Rylie’s mouth gaped open incredulously.

“Is that what you honestly think of me? That I’m more worried about how it will affect my goddamn wedding? Really, Sash? If so, maybe you need to reevaluate how you feel about our friendship. Because I would never…” Her voice was filled with raw emotion and raised an octave higher than normal. Her eyes clouded with a sheen of moisture.

Sasha’s hands flew to the table, reaching out to grab Rylie’s hand.

“Shit, Ry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I know you’d never think that way. I’m just being a bratty bitch. God, I’m a hot fucking mess. He’s messing with my head.” And that was exactly why it had her worried.

“Whoa. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before. What exactly is going on between you two? And how long has it been going on, anyway? I didn’t notice anything at our barbeque, and I thought you were just being nice when you went with him to the awards banquet.”

Sasha’s eyes gleamed as she tipped her lips into a smile.

“Okay, promise not to go postal on me…but we initially hooked-up in Cabo.”

“
WHAT
? That was like…eight months ago! You’ve been secretly screwing Jax all this time under our noses?”

From her peripheral vision, she once again noticed the couple at the table next to them, silently condemning the uproar and obvious interruption to their luncheon. Sasha gave them the finger.

“No, no, no! It wasn’t like that,” she assured, signaling with her hands the misunderstanding. “Cabo was our first time together and it was supposed to be our last. We agreed to end it there and return things back to their regularly scheduled programming. And that was that…he went his way and I went mine…until you made us start working together on your joint party.”

Rylie huffed at the remark. “Throw me under the bus, why don’t you.”

“Whatever, girly. Get over yourself. Anyway, the night of the gala…well, it kind of happened again. And
dayum
…that man turned me inside out and upside down. Holy shit, the things he can do with his mouth…”

Rylie held up her hand, waving it in front of Sasha’s face in frantic gesture to stop.

“Oh my God, no. Please don’t give me any details. Jackson is my friend…I don’t want to picture his mouth doing anything to you, got it?”

A burst of giddy laughter bubbled up from Sasha’s throat. It’s not like she’d never shared her personal experiences with Rylie in the past, and she’d never been shy about the details. It was understandable, though, that Rylie wouldn’t want the blow-by-blow when it came to her fiancé’s best friend, considering how close they all were.

“Okay, fine,” Sasha capitulated, grabbing her wallet and credit card to pay the bill the server had just left them. “I’ll spare you the gory details – which, in my book, is the good stuff. But needless to say, the man is very attentive to my needs. And we’ve actually been getting along outside of the fucking. I’ve been having fun with him. In fact, Jackson asked me out on a date tonight.”

She let the last statement hang out and dangle there for a bit. Just saying it out loud made it feel real.
Too
real.

If she were being honest with herself, Sasha was actually a tad nervous about their date later that evening. This would be the first time they’d be out together, doing the normal date thing. The get-to-know-me stage, which was weird in-and-of-itself, because Jackson wasn’t a stranger to her.

True, they didn’t really know all that much about one another on a personal level. It wasn’t often that Sasha cared enough about wanting to get to know a guy any more than how big his dick was when fully erect, and what position was his favorite.

Yep. She wasn’t proud of that fact, but that’s how it was. It was different with Jackson. He made her want more than just the superficial and insignificant.

Perhaps Jackson was an influence on her that she hadn’t expected.
He
was more than she had expected.

Gathering up her returned credit card and signing the receipt, they both stood and walked out the restaurant, Sasha following behind her long-legged friend. Sasha always felt dwarfed next to Rylie, who towered over her in her five-foot-eight former volleyball player glory. Even with the three-inch heels Sasha typically wore barely got the top of her head to reach Rylie’s shoulders.

Regardless of height, Sasha had always felt confident in her own skin. She used that confidence in a manner in which some women used fame or fortune. It got her the things she wanted and needed in life. And lots, and lots, of attention.

They stepped out into the bright fall sunshine, only a hint of coolness to come hanging in the hot and muggy air. Waiting at the crosswalk, Rylie turned to face Sasha and sighed.

“Okay, so I’m going to say this only once and I don’t want you to be mad at me.” Her shoulders sagged and her head hung low before she straightened, letting out a long exhale.

“I’ve grown very fond of Jackson. He’s Mitch’s best friend. Which, by proxy, means he’s now
my
new best male friend. He’s a really good guy and he’s going to be in my life going forward. And
you’re
going to be in my life going forward.”

A small frown etched on Rylie’s beautifully tanned face, her brown eyes saddened.

Sasha knew where this conversation was heading. She understood her friend’s concern, and frankly, she’d probably be the same way if the tables were turned. In most cases, it was inevitable. After a few dates, if Sasha felt things were growing too serious, or the guy was getting too wrapped up in her, she’d pull away. End things as quickly as they began. It did no one any good to let hearts get involved. Complications had to be eradicated.

“Rylie, I get it…you don’t have to say it.”

“No, listen to me. I love you,” Rylie stated, dropping her hands to Sasha’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “You’re my best friend. But I know your MO when it comes to men. You’re a heart breaker. It’s what you do. You like the chase, but once you’re caught, it’s over. And for the life of me, I don’t understand it. Maybe someday you’ll explain your reluctance to let a guy in…but I don’t want this thing between you and Jax to go too far where he winds up hurt. I’m sorry to say it, but you have a tendency to be cruel, Sash. But Jax doesn’t deserve that. He’s a really good man. And honestly…I think you two would actually be great together. Kind of balance each other out, bring out the best in one another.”

Rylie dropped her hands and grabbed hold of Sasha’s arm, linking hers at the elbow as they crossed the street together to the parked car.

Unlocking her red Mercedes Coupe with the click of her button, Sasha glanced across the roof when Rylie spoke again.