More Than the Ball (14 page)

I stepped off the dance floor, just for a moment, to get a little air away from the crowd of bodies. I slipped out a side door where several people had gone to smoke. I wasn’t exactly looking to clear my head, but once I was out there, I found myself wondering what on earth I was trying to prove. That I was gay? Okay. Maybe I was gay.

That I could do this with someone other than Dev?

I could have sex, sure. I could let this guy take me home, fuck me, satisfy that need to be touched. I could do all that.

But I knew I wouldn’t. That wasn’t what I wanted. Not now.

As I snuck my way out of the alley, hoping my dance partner wouldn’t be too disappointed, I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.

E
xhibition games were always
some of my favorites.

For one thing, nothing was on the line but your pride. No championships, no league standings, barely any bookies. It was a game for the sake of a game.

For another, people were always so happy to see you. I had no idea how many Spurs fans lived in the States until I did my first exhibition. Granted, ManU, Chelsea, and Arsenal drew bigger crowds, but we filled a stadium just fine.

The downside was that the American teams generally weren’t on our level, so the challenge was minimal. Once in a while, we had to fight for it, but a lot of these wins came easy.

I was glad Dev had come to watch on a day we had to fight.

The games weren’t televised, so there generally wasn’t much of a media storm after. Instead, I took a quick shower, changed into street clothes and went to meet him and his friend.

I don’t know who I’d expected him to bring, but I don’t think I was expecting this hulk of a man who grinned too brightly at me and touched Dev’s back with a proprietary air that made my jaw clench.

“Elliot!” Dev said when he spotted me, waving enthusiastically and pulling me into a hug. “Oh my god! What a game. That was fucking amazing!”

“Yeah, we had fun out there,” I said, laughing. Even with the burn of jealousy in my gut, it was good to see Dev, to hear him laugh.

“Elliot, this is Kelly. Kelly, Elliot,” he said, introducing the friend. I felt like I had heard the name before, but I couldn’t place where.

“I thought we could all go back to my place for dinner and drinks?” Dev said, as I shook the mountain’s outstretched hand. “Unless you have some team bonding thing, El?”

“God, yes,” Kelly broke in, his arm slung across Dev’s shoulders. “I need a proper cocktail. Warm beer out of plastic cups is so not my style. Though I could get used to the boys in shorts.” He grinned at one of the LA players as he passed and gave a little, flirty wave. “Hello, sailor.”

“No,” I said, and both of them looked at me. “I mean... no I don’t have a team bonding thing. Let’s do dinner.”

“Great! Kelly’s driving.”

“Great,” I echoed, lying through my teeth.

Maybe this would be good for me in the end. I wanted to see Dev happy, even if it wasn’t with me. Even if looking at him with Kelly made me feel like there were burning coals in my stomach.

Yeah. Maybe it would be good for me. And maybe pigs could fly.

K
elly
, I soon remembered, had been Dev’s first boyfriend after college. They’d known each other almost as long as Dev and I, and they had just as much history. Seeing how comfortable they were together made me ache for something I thought I might never have.

It also made me happy in the most painful way possible. Dev seemed more cheerful with Kelly, and in spite of myself, I had to admit that Kelly seemed like a good guy. A little overdramatic, but good. And it was clear he cared about Dev, under the current of teasing.

Dinner was takeout Italian, and Kelly made some incredibly strong Bellinis. I was giggling in a pile of Dev and Kelly almost as soon as we finished dinner. Soon, Dev had dragged out several blankets and we all settled into them with the leftover champagne, flipping through late night TV channels and eventually settling on some cooking competition.

“So,” Kelly said as he set aside the finally drained bottle, “Dev tells me you’re very well proportioned.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Does he now?”

Dev buried his face in his hands, and Kelly nodded vigorously. “Oh, yes.”

“Shut up,” Dev mumbled, then repeated it, louder, “Shut up!”

I laughed, and Kelly twirled the champagne bottle with his fingers. “Oh!” he said, his eyes lighting up. “We should play spin the bottle.”

“Oh my god, kill me now,” said Dev, hands still covering his face.

“No, really,” Kelly said, giving Dev a nudge with his elbow. “It’ll be good for the boy. He’s only just exploring our world. We owe it to the community to help him test the waters.”

“The community?” I asked.

“The queer and happy with it community,” Kelly clarified.

“Oh, I’m not...”

“Just how many times did you have this boy’s beautiful dick in your mouth and now you’re going to try and tell me you’re not a little bit gay?”

Dev had moved to pulling his shirt up over his head to hide his face. “Kali, please, swallow me now.”

“Okay, maybe a little bit.” I supposed it made sense that Dev had told Kelly about us. They probably talked a lot about their relationship history.

“Great!” Kelly said, smoothing out the blankets between us all and laying the bottle on its side in the middle. “You go first, newbie.”

I was waiting for Dev to protest. Surely he didn’t want to share his boyfriend. He didn’t say anything, though, just peered at me over the collar of his shirt, waiting for me to start.

The temptation of kissing Dev, even just one more time, was too much to resist. I swallowed hard and spun.

The neck of the bottle wobbled as it spun around and around and around until it finally landed on Kelly.

“Come here, lover,” Kelly said, taking hold of my lapels and hauling me forward.

His mouth was warm, spicy like an apple pie, not spicy like a pepper like Dev’s. His lips were full and soft, and it would almost have been like kissing a woman if not for the faint scratch of his beard against my cheek. Somehow, just that faint brush of hair charged the kiss with something more powerful. I felt my cock filling, resting hot and heavy against my thigh.

A moment later, Dev’s hand was on my shoulder, pulling me back. “Okay, okay. That’s enough. Kelly’s turn now?”

“Yes, indeed,” Kelly said with a grin. I tried to hide the flush of my face by rubbing a hand over my cheeks, but I didn’t have much hope that it had worked.

Kelly’s nimble fingers spun the bottle neatly, and it spun around until it landed on Dev. His cheeks were also flushed, but he leaned easily into Kelly’s kiss. They looked comfortable as their lips touched, like two lovers should. It was short and sweet, but still the bitter pang crept into my stomach as I watched.

“My turn now,” Dev said, and his eyes locked with mine as he spun. I couldn’t look away. I heard the bottle turning, gradually slowing, and stopping, but I couldn’t look down. I couldn’t drag my eyes from Dev’s face. I suddenly wanted to memorize every inch, as though losing him to Kelly meant losing him forever.

“Well go on, boys. Time’s a-wastin’,” Kelly said, and I finally glanced down to see the bottle pointed straight at me.

I looked to Dev again, and he had a faint, nervous smile on his face. He leaned forward, and so did I. We met halfway, and for a moment, we just sat on the floor with our foreheads resting on each other. I could hear the soft rasp of his breath, feel the heat of his shoulder against mine, smell the peach on his breath.

He tilted his head, and I tilted mine, and we both closed the distance together.

I hadn’t thought, during our week together in London, to bother with memorizing the taste and contour of Dev’s mouth, of cataloging all the different ways he could kiss me. I didn’t think any of those kisses might be our last.

Tonight I knew better. Tonight, I kissed him slowly, my tongue mapping the curve of his lip and the hardness of his teeth and the warm, wetness of his tongue. I picked out which tastes were champagne and which were tiramisu and which were nothing but Dev.

Our hands came up at the same time, curling around the back of each other’s necks. Everything else in the room fell away, and I could only focus on Dev, his mouth against mine, his fingers in my hair, his skin warm beneath my hand.

“Well,” I heard a voice say, and I pulled away in a daze, blinking over at Kelly. I’d forgotten he was there. “I think that’s my cue to leave.”

He didn’t sound upset. Actually, he almost sounded pleased. And he was smiling as he stood. “You two have fun now. Play safe. I expect all the sexy details tomorrow.”

I watched him go, utterly in shock, but Dev was already pulling me back into another kiss. I returned it at first, hardly able to stop myself, but then I pushed Dev away gently.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked.

“What was what?” Dev returned, trying to kiss me again.

“With Kelly... telling us to have fun.”

“It’s just he way he is, El. You’ll get used to it. Just kiss me.” He leaned in again, and again I let him kiss me before pulling back.

“He doesn’t mind?”

“Why would he mind?”

I raised a hand to cup Dev’s cheek in my palm. “Because if you were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t share you with anyone.”

“What are you talking about?” Dev asked, a soft, amused laugh in his voice. “Kelly’s not my boyfriend.”

“He’s not?”

“No,” Dev assured me, and he laughed again. “Oh, God... did you think... oh, God, Elliot...”

“You just... seemed so comfortable. He was always touching you...”

“That’s just Kelly. You get used to it.”

I laughed, relief flooding through me. I hadn’t realized just how much the thought of Dev with somebody else had bothered me until l realized it wasn’t true. “Fuck, Dev,” I said, and I leaned in to kiss him because I didn’t have any reason not to.

His arms slid around my waist, and I held his face in my hands, taking every chance to savor this. I was not going to let another kiss go by without etching it in my memory.

I moved to lay Dev back across the blankets, and he pulled me along with him, breaking the kiss with a gasp.

“Elliot?”

“Hmm?” my lips trailed down his neck, and my hands pushed his shirt up, dragging slowly over his heated skin.

“You said if.”

“What?” I asked lazily, tracing the lines of muscle in his abdomen.

“If I was your boyfriend. You said if.”

I pushed myself up, struggling to clear my head of the very real fact of Dev’s body pressed against my own. “I did.”

“What if there wasn’t an if?”

“You’re not even high, Bandi, and you still can’t make sense.”

“Be my boyfriend,” he said quickly, then rolled his eyes. “Or something less middle school sounding.”

I grinned and kissed him, slow and deep, only letting up to murmur, “Yes,” against his lips before diving back into the kiss.

He made a noise I assumed was of pleasure as he arched up to me, setting our hips together. I groaned, and then Dev was pulling back, pushing me up. “Naked,” he muttered, squirming out of his shirt. “Get naked. Now.”

I laughed and shifted away, quickly stripping off, tossing my clothes haphazardly around the room. When I looked back to Dev, he was lounged naked across the pile of blankets like a god-king of some ancient civilization, begging to be worshiped.

“Fuck,” I whispered, and he held out a hand for me.

“Yes, please.”

His lips were on mine again, spice and sweet and tender. I pulled him into my lap, and he settled there easily, fingers sliding into my hair, tilting my head back as he kissed me. He shifted just a little, and my cock was nestled between his cheeks. His hips rolled, pushing his erection against my belly and sliding the teasing tightness of his ass over my dick. I growled softly.

“Want to fuck you,” I muttered into the hollow of his throat as he raised himself up slightly.

“Yes, baby,” he said. His hand shot past me to rummage in his couch cushion and he pulled out a small packet of lube and a condom.

“In your couch, Dev?”

“Be prepared. Only part of Boy Scouts that stuck with me.”

I laughed because what did I care where he kept his lube, so long as he kept using it with me?

We were both impatient, and Dev worked quickly, rolling the condom down my thick cock and slicking it quickly with lube. He settled himself back into my lap, and reached behind himself, guiding my cock to his entrance.

His arms wrapped around my shoulders then, and he held my gaze as he slowly lowered, opening around me and taking my shaft, inch by torturous inch, into his body.

His eyes were darker than I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t look away, not even when he let himself drop down the last few inches, impaling himself completely on my dick. He gasped in a shocked breath, and I growled at the sudden tightness, but neither of us looked away. My hand gripped the back of his neck firmly as he began to move, hips rolling, pulling up then taking me back in. Soon we fell into rhythm, and I watched as his eyes dilated, felt the hitch of his breath as though it were my own when he found the right angle, and my cock nailed his prostate.

We built it gradually, deep thrusts, then quick, then hard, then slow. His fingers dug into my shoulders, and I couldn’t bring myself to care about the marks he was leaving or what might be said in the locker room. My hand stayed firm on the back of his neck, the other curling around his hip. We moved so close our foreheads were pressed together.

My eyes crossed, but I still didn’t look away. We were moving faster now, harder, gradually giving in to the building pleasure. My balls drew up, and I let out a low whine.

“Gonna come... Dev...baby... gone come.”

“Do it, do it,” he breathed. “Me too...”

Everything seemed to tighten at once: Dev’s ass, my fingers, his fingers, my balls, my cock, my throat. My cry of pleasure came out choked and raw, and my hips bucked up hard as I came. My vision whited out for just a second.