and we hope to return to Earth with a greater understanding
of halo objects. If we accomplish nothing more than that,
we will have expanded the field of galactic inquiry to a
significant degree."
He turned to them, his kind eyes finding, and holding, a
look with each of them in turn. "But that isn't the sole
purpose for our venture. There is an additional, covert,
mission to be accomplished during our journey." Paris
paused here, as though thinking how best to introduce the
subject he was leading to.
"First, I must remind you that this is a matter of the
highest secrecy. Not everyone on the ship will be aware of
it. It is essential that you speak of it to no one-not even
among yourselves. I am telling you because, as the senior
scientific staff; you might question some of the procedures
we'll be choosing in the future. You will be curious as to
some of the destinations we select. And it's essential that
those questions not be asked. It may be that some decisions
will interfere with your scientific explorations; it is
imperative that you accept those disappointments."
Kathryn was staring at Admiral Paris, mind racing. What
was going on? What could be of such magnitude that it was
treated with this heavy cloak of secrecy? This was
uncharacteristic of Starfleet-at least of the Starfleet she
had experienced-and it made her uncomfortable. "We are also
an information-gathering mission," continued Paris. "We
will be traveling near Cardassian space, at times quite
close to their borders, and at those times we will be
actively uploading intelligence about their troop
movements, weapons depots, fleet size, and other data
necessary to insure the defense of the Federation."
A long, solemn silence blanketed the room as he spoke
those words. Kathryn found her heart pounding. The ship was
on a spy mission. Her first venture into deep space wasn't
an innocuous assignment to gather scientific datait was an
urgent military operation, crucial and dangerous.
Admiral Paris absorbed the stunned silence that greeted
his announcement, and continued.
"There are those on this ship who are part of an elite core
of Starfleet's finest: a highly trained, disciplined group
of Rangers who will also function as members of the
scientific expedition. They will work among you without
your knowing their identity. I am the only person on board
who knows who they are."
He eyed them once more. "Now is the time for any
questions. I will answer what I can. But after today, there
will be no further mention of this matter. Are you clear on
that?"
Several people nodded. Sally Rhodes raised a hand, as
though she were back in school. Kathryn understood the
feeling. "Sir," said Ensign Rhodes, "are we going to war
with Cardassia?"
"I hope not. That's part of the purpose of missions like
this-to prevent war. But I'm afraid that's more up to the
Cardassians than to us." Kathryn felt Justin Tighe stir
next to her. "Sir,"
he asked-and he didn't sound quite so confident now-"do
these . . . Rangers . . . know each other? Or are they all
in the dark as much as we are?" "They know each other. It's
important that they be able to function as a unit, and
they've been training toward that end for over a year. But
I assure you they are also so grounded in scientific
technique that you will be unable to single them out."
Commander T'Por fixed the admiral with her dark eyes. "It
would be logical to assume that we will be in situations of
danger. Am I correct?"
"Again, there's no way to predict that. But I would have to
share your assumption." He paused, as though turning 181
over a thought in his mind. "We don't know as much about
the Cardassians as we'd like. They've kept their borders
closed for decades. But what we're beginning to hear,
unfortunately, isn't encouraging.
They're mean ones. We believe they intend to expand their
territory and they have no qualms about how they do it."
He stopped and looked down at the table for a moment.
"Reports we've gotten about their treatment of some of our
colonists they've captured aren't-pretty. They have some
particularly advanced technology for producing pain, for
example. It's been a great many years since we've
encountered a culture which not only employs torture as a
means of intimidation, but has elevated it to a
nearreligious status." Kathryn felt queasy.
She didn't like to think of people inflicting pain on each
other; it was the most primitive kind of violation she
could imagine. She knew her people's history was rife with
equal cruelty, but it hadn't been practiced for hundreds of
years. Now she was hearing that people like herself were
being subjected to this most inhumane treatment. "However,"
Admiral Paris continued, "there's no reason to believe we
will encounter any Cardassians at all. Our surveillances
will be technological in nature. The plan is to get the
information we need without coming face-toface with any of
them."
He faced them, waiting for more questions. There were
none-not, Kathryn suspected, because they didn't exist, but
because everyone had been caught so off guard that they
were still in a state of shock. "Any further questions?"
queried the admiral, looking from one to the other. "If
not, we'll proceed. But let me try to reassure you: If all
goes as we hope, this will be the last time you'll be aware
of our other mission.
If it's successful, it will be carried out without
disrupting our scientific inquiries and without 182
noticeable interference in our day-to-day activities. It
would be my profound hope that this will be the case."
He looked around the room one more time, then put the
matter behind him and began giving short-term assignments.
Admiral Paris was a mature and experienced officer; he
clearly had the capacity to shed one subject completely and
move on to the other.
But Kathryn didn't have that ability, though she
determined at that moment to develop it. She was still so
stunned by the admiral's revelation that she had no
reaction at all when he assigned her to work with Justin
Tighe in developing sensor-array modifications.
Like a panther, she thought. Like a powerful, sinewy
predator, sleek and assured.
She was watching Justin Tighe move around the science lab,
tapping commands into a padd, running his hand through his
hair, occasionally staring off into space, then turning
back to the padd.
What he didn't do was to include her in any of his
musings. He asked no questions, requested no opinion,
shared no thought of his own. He was a man working
exclusively with himself.
She considered what to do. On the one hand, he was her
superior officer; it was his right to proceed with their
assignment in any manner he chose. But she resented being
treated as a silent piece of the background; she was an
official member of this team and she should not be frozen
out. It was always dangerous to confront a predator, she
knew; but unless you did, you would never gain his respect.
"Lieutenant," she began mildly, "if I knew what kind of
sensor modifications you were considering, I might be able
to help out." Tighe looked over at her as though he had
forgotten she was in the room. He blinked, coming out of
some deep level of concentration. "What?" he said.
"1'd like to be able to contribute. But I can't unless you
give me an idea of how you're proceeding."
He ran his hand through his hair in a manner that now
demonstrated exasperation, rather than absentmindedness.
"I appreciate your offer, Ensign, but it would frankly take
more time to explain what I'm doing than it will just to do
it myself. Once I've figured out a plan, I'll go over it
with you."
And he returned to his pacing, his gazing, and his
computing. Kathryn felt her cheeks sting. The rebuff was so
blunt, so total, that she felt physically misused. She
forced her mind to clear and quiet. Don't act without
thinking, she reminded herself, objectifying the anger she
felt at the rude behavior of the man who was supposed to be
her partner. Justin Tighe was faced away from her,
studiously tapping on the padd. She rose and circled so she
faced him.
"Excuse me, sir." He looked up with mild irritation.
"Permission to speak freely?"
He let out a breath of vexation and fastened his blue eyes
on her. "Granted," he said dryly.
"We're going to be working together for the next year.
Working closely together. I think it's important we
establish some ground rules at the beginning."
She paused and looked at him, trying to gauge the impact of
her words. He revealed nothing, his features neutral, eyes
icy. "I realize I'm the most junior member of this team.
But I am a member of the team. I think I can make a
contribution-even if it's just as a backboard, someone to
bounce ideas off. I don't care how I participate-but I
insist that I do."
He didn't reply, just kept looking at her with those 184
otherworldly eyes. "I'm not willing to be shut out," she
continued, "to be treated as though I'm less important to
this mission than that padd you're using.
I think you'll find that if you'll just let me in, I can
help. At least give me a chance to prove that."
There was a very long silence then, with Tighe's eyes
boring into hers, she holding his look steadily, willing
herself not to blink, feeling her eyes grow dry in the
effort.
And then he slumped, tossed the padd down on the table,
and sprawled into a chair.
"Let me tell you about me, Ensign," he said, but there was
a long pause before he did so, as though he were
unaccustomed to self-revelation and unsure how to proceed.
"I was born on Klatus Prime.
Ever heard of it? I didn't think so. It's a small mining
colony in Sector 22309. My family had been miners there for
generations. It wasn't quite as easy a life as you have on
Earth.
When I was ten I decided I wasn't going to spend the rest
of my life like my father and my grandfather." He glanced
up at her as though to see her reaction to what he was
saying. Kathryn tried to reveal nothing, just listened
patiently.
"Twenty years later, I've managed to become a respected
member of Starfleet. I had to earn every step of that
journey. Nobody gave me anything, nobody made it easy for
me." She heard no self-pity in his voice, no plea of
victimization. He said what he did as neutrally as though
he were reciting the table of elements.
He took a breath and leaned forward on the table, looking
up at her. "I'm not easy to get along with. I know that. I
wish it weren't so, but I don't know if there's anything I
can do about it." He put his head down and ran both hands
through his hair. "I'm not trying to shut you out, Ensign.
I'm just . . . used to doing things on my own."
Kathryn moved to the table and sat opposite him.
"Thank you for being honest with me," she said. "It helps
a lot. But try to understand: This mission is important to
me. And my way of working is as valid to me as yours is to
you. I'm willing to compromise, but I'll ask you to do the
same."
There was a silence between them. Kathryn half expected
him to go back to his padd, excluding her and enveloping
himself in his work. Instead, the hint of a smile tugged at
his lips, and to her dismay, she found her fingertips
tingling-that old, familiar, treacherous sensation. No, she
thought. No, no, no, no, no.
Not again.
"You're a tough one, Ensign. I like that. Weak people
annoy me. But-are you as tough as I am? I guess we'll have
to wait and see."
And without further discussion, he swung the padd around
and began to give her the notes on sensor resolution and
sensitivity that he'd been assembling.
Her response was so deeply ingrained that it was barely
conscious. Somewhere, deep inside, a voice was saying,
"I'll show him. I'll win him over."
But far below that was another small, wounded voice with a
cry that had never surfaced, one that Kathryn had never
heard and yet had guided her through most of her life.
Six months later, she sat next to Admiral Paris in the
two-person shuttle, and reflected on that initial encounter
with Justin Tighe. She'd been proud of the way she'd
handled the situation, and confident that the going from
that point would be smooth.
Nothing could have been further from the truth.
Lieutenant Tighe had proved to be an infuriating partner, a
stern and demanding perfectionist, rigid in his work habits
and intolerant of human error or frailty. There had been no
change whatsoever in the way he treated her, which was