Mosaic Mayhem (Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mini-Mystery)

Acclaim for
Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

“Crafty cozies don’t get any better than this hilarious confection...Anastasia is as deadpan droll as Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon, and readers can’t help cheering as she copes with caring for a host of colorful characters.” –
Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

“Winston has hit a homerun with this hilarious, laugh-until-your-sides-hurt tale. Oddball characters, uproariously funny situations, and a heroine with a strong sense of irony will delight fans of Janet Evanovich, Jess Lourey, and Kathleen Bacus. May this be the first of many in Winston’s Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series.” –
Booklist
(starred review)

“A comic tour de force...Lovers of funny mysteries, outrageous puns, self-deprecating humor, and light romance will all find something here.” –
ForeWord Magazine
Book of the Year nominee

“North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum. Funny, gutsy, and determined, Anastasia has a bright future in the planned series.” –
Kirkus Reviews

“...a delightful romp through the halls of who-done-it.” –
The Star-Ledger

“Make way for Lois Winston’s promising new series...I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next installment in this thoroughly delightful series.” –
Mystery Scene Magazine

“...once you read the first few pages of Lois Winston’s first-in-series whodunit, you’re hooked for the duration...” –
Bookpage

“...madcap but tough-as-nails, no holds barred plot and main character...a step above the usual crafty cozy.” –
The Mystery Reader

“...Anastasia is, above all, a JERSEY girl..., and never, ever mess with one of them. I can’t wait ‘til the next book in this series...” –
Suspense Magazine

“Fans of Stephanie Plum will love Lois Winston’s cast of quirky, laughable, and loveable characters.
Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun
is clever and thoroughly entertaining – a must read!” – Brenda Novak,
New York Times
best-selling author.

“What a treat – I can’t stop laughing! Witty, wise, and delightfully clever, Anastasia is going to be your new best friend. Her mysterious adventures are irresistible–you’ll be glued to the page!” – Hank Phillippi Ryan, Agatha, Anthony, and Macavity award-winning author

“You think you’ve got trouble? Say hello to Anastasia Pollack, who also happens to be queen of the one-liners. Funny, funny, funny–this is a series you don’t want to miss!” – Kasey Michaels,
USA Today
best-selling author

Acclaim for
Death by Killer Mop Doll

“Anastasia is a crafting Stephanie Plum, surrounded by characters sure to bring chuckles as she careens through the narrative, crossing paths with the detectives assigned to the case and snooping around to solve it.” –
Booklist

“Several crafts projects, oodles of laughs and an older, more centered version of Stephanie Plum.” –
Kirkus Reviews

“In Winston’s droll second cozy featuring crafts magazine editor Anastasia Pollack...readers who relish the offbeat will be rewarded.” –
Publishers Weekly

“...a
30 Rock
vibe...Winston turns out another lighthearted amateur sleuth investigation. Laden with one-liners, Anastasia’s second outing (after
Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun
) points to another successful series in the works.” –
Library Journal

“Winston...plays for plenty of laughs...while letting Anastasia shine as a risk-taking investigator who doesn’t always know when to quit.” –
Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine

Acclaim for
Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

“Winston peppers the twisty and slightly edgy plot with humor and plenty of craft patterns. Fans of craft mysteries will like this, of course, but so will those who enjoy the smart and snarky humor of Janet Evanovich, Laura Levine, and Laura DeSilverio.” –
Booklist

“Winston’s entertaining third cozy plunges Anastasia into a surprisingly fraught stew of jealousy, greed, and sex...” and a “Sopranos-worthy lineup of eccentric character...” –
Publishers Weekly

“Winston provides a long-suffering heroine, amusing characters, a...good mystery and a series of crafting projects featuring cloth yo-yos.” –
Kirkus Reviews

“A fun addition to a series that keeps getting stronger.” –
Romantic Times Magazine

“Chuckles begin on page one and the steady humor sustains a comedic crafts cozy, the third (after
Death by Killer Mop Doll
)... Recommend for Chris Grabenstein (“John Ceepak” series) and Jess Lourey readers.” –
Library Journal

“You'll be both surprised and entertained by this terrific mystery. I can't wait to see what happens in the Pollack household next.” –
Suspense Magazine

“The book has what a mystery should...It moves along at a good pace...Like all good sleuths, Anastasia pieces together what others don't...The book has a fun twist...and it's clear that Anastasia, the everyday woman who loves crafts and desserts, and has a complete hottie in pursuit, will return to solve another murder and offer more crafts tips...” –
Star-Ledger

Mosaic Mayhem

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mini-Mystery

by Lois Winston

Also by Lois Winston

Talk Gertie to Me

Elementary, My Dear Gertie

Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception

Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

Death by Killer Mop Doll

Crewel Intentions

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

Top Ten Reasons Your Novel is Rejected

Once Upon a Romance

Writing as Emma Carlyle

Hooking Mr. Right

Finding Hope

Four Uncles and a Wedding

Lost in Manhattan

Someone to Watch Over Me

Mosaic Mayhem
copyright 2013 by Lois Winston. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locations, or events is coincidental or fictionalized.

Cover design by Scott Winston

Dedication

to all of Anastasia’s fans

Acknowledgments

Special thanks to the real Elaine Naiman for her Malice Domestic auction donation which entitled her to be named as a character in this book.

Also, for their critiquing and editing skills, much appreciation and huge thanks to authors Donnell Bell and Irene Peterson.

ONE

Not again!
I stared down the barrel of a big black bad-ass gun pointed at my chest. Ever since last winter when Karl Pollack, my not-so-dearly-departed husband, died suddenly, people have been trying to kill me. First, Karl’s loan shark. Then a crazy co-worker. Most recently, a hired assassin.

My name is Anastasia Pollack. I’m a debt-ridden, pear-shaped, middle-aged single mom, and crafts editor at a woman’s magazine. I’m also apparently a killer magnet, not only in my home state of New Jersey but also across the Atlantic Ocean in Spain.

Worst of all, unlike my three previous run-ins with killers, I had no idea who this guy was or why he wanted me dead. He apparently didn’t speak English, and my Spanish is limited to a few words and phrases picked up from watching
Sesame Street
years ago with my kids. My Catalan is non-existent.

So much for a quick getaway to Barcelona.

After the relief of finding that my passport hadn’t expired, I thought my biggest problem would be arranging extra care for my semi-invalid mother-in-law during my three-day absence. Silly me.

I landed in this situation thanks to Zack. When Karl dropped dead, leaving me with debt that rivaled the gross national product of an average third-world country, I was forced to rent out the apartment over my garage and move my studio to my dingy, unheated basement. Little did I know at the time that my new tenant, award-winning photo-journalist and possible spy (although he vehemently denies the latter) Zachary Barnes, would segue from renter to lover.

Zack looks like his DNA cavorted in the gene pools of George Clooney, Pierce Brosnan, Patrick Dempsey, and Antonio Bandares. What he sees in me, I’ll never know, and yet here we are—a couple. I’m not complaining.

I’d spent most of the summer working a second job every weekend, and I was beyond exhausted. So when Zack invited me to tag along with him while he photographed architect Antoni Gaudi’s Parc Güell for a
National Geographic
spread, I cashed in some of my comp time and packed a bag.

We arrived in Barcelona early in the morning, dropped our luggage at a hotel off Plaça de Catalunya, and headed to the park, a fairytale inspired masterpiece that resembled a miniature city. While Zack took a meeting with the director in Torre Rosa, the park’s museum and former Gaudi home, I wandered the enchanting grounds and buildings, snapping photos of the whimsical Hansel and Gretel gatehouses, the Sala Hipostila marketplace with its multi-domed ceiling, and the main terrace, ringed with an intricately decorated serpentine bench—all embellished with Gaudi’s trademark mosaics. I planned to use the photos as part of a feature on mosaic art for a future issue of
American Woman
, the magazine where I worked.

Afterwards, I set off on one of the many trails weaving through nearly forty acres of steep hillside in order to enjoy some of the spectacular views of the city spread out below. I was in a secluded area with no one else around when a bear of a man with a short dark beard that did little to hide his acne scarred cheeks stepped from the wooded area onto the path in front of me. Like so many other men on the streets of Barcelona, he wore a red and gold soccer jersey, but unlike all the others, this guy accessorized his outfit with a deadly weapon.

A gasp froze in my throat.

He might as well have been speaking Swahili for all the good my
Sesame Street
Spanish did me. Zack had warned me that pickpockets trolled the streets of Barcelona, preying on hapless tourists. He hadn’t mentioned anything about armed gunmen, but common sense told me I was being robbed.

“Take it,” I said, dropping my handbag at his feet. But this was no robbery. He didn’t scoop up my bag and run. Instead, he grabbed both the bag and my arm.