5
Preparing for the Worst
M
y cell phone rang and jolted me out of my daydream of the past. I could actually feel moisture between my legs from when I was thinking about having sex with Warren, but that couldn’t even take away the overwhelming fear I felt in the pit of my stomach knowing that he was going to be on the streets soon. I knew better than anyone what Warren was capable of. I tried to shake off the thoughts as my ringing phone continued to distract me. I looked at the phone and saw that it was Sidney. A pang of nervousness hit me hard. I had been so lost in my own thoughts, I’d forgotten about meeting with Sidney for lunch.
“Shit! He must’ve been expecting me an hour ago,” I said to myself out loud. I didn’t even realize how long I had been sitting parked after my mother dropped that fucking bomb on me. I inhaled and exhaled before I picked up the phone. I noticed right away how terribly my hands were shaking. I was going to have to get myself together. There was no way I could show up in front of Sidney coming apart mentally like this.
“Hey, baby,” I answered with the phoniest cheer in my voice. “No. No . . . I’m okay. Yes, I’m still coming to see you. There was an accident . . . yeah, you know how that is. Lots of traffic out here. But I’m out of the worst of it now. I’ll be there in a few,” I fabricated on the spot. I could hear the shakiness in my own voice and wondered if Sidney could tell as well. I got off the phone as quickly as I could. It was a damn good thing Sidney was an older man, who was secure and not the type who sweated my every move. A younger street dude might’ve asked way more questions about why I’d been so late before so readily taking my word for it.
“Okay, Gigi. Get your shit together and go see your man. You can deal with what’s to come later,” I pep talked myself as I pulled my car back onto the road. I couldn’t help finding myself lost deep in thought about what might come of Warren knowing that I had run my ass from DC to Virginia. I also thought about my life in DC and my new life in Virginia. The differences were very clear to me.
I must admit, when I first met Sidney, I wasn’t all that attracted to him. My first impression at a glance was that he was an old man trying to get his swerve on with a younger woman to recapture his youth. He was already balding and graying, even in his beard. I have to say, though, he was well dressed in the older man sense. He was smooth enough with his approach, too; but what really caught my eye was the Presidential Rolex gleaming from Sidney’s wrist. I was all eyes and ears once I saw that. His very pregnant wallet was also something I remember being an eye-catcher to me at that time. Sidney was more low key than I ever remember Warren being, and that made me say maybe I should give this man a try.
I did and it led us to marriage really fast. We didn’t date much at all. Sidney asked me to marry him and said something like, “I’m supposed to watch over you til death do us part . . . be my wife.” I had been so hard up for money after burning up all my money that he could’ve said anything and I would’ve probably said yes at that time. Married, nice life, and all of the luxury things I wanted. The fact still remained that when I did the comparison of my men, you would know that Sidney could never compare to Warren in certain areas and vice versa. One was young, all about that street life, and could lay the pipe like a fucking expert. The other was older, all about building a real wealthy lifestyle, and was less than amusing in the bed. But he made up for it with how he gave me everything in the world. If I had to stand them side by side, there would be drastic differences that made each of them invaluable in their own right. Warren was thirty-three years old, stood six feet three inches, had six-pack abs, round, deep-set eyes, and deep chocolate skin. Warren dressed like a street dude, donning the latest premium denim and high-end sneakers that hit the stores before anyone else in the hood could even dream about it. Sidney, on the other hand, was forty-five years old, stood a mere five feet nine inches, had a small, protruding gut, high yellow skin, salt and pepper hair, and little beady eyes that weren’t readily attractive. Sidney was older, more distinguished, and he dressed like it. He always wore dress pants; albeit tailor-made, they were still dress pants. He preferred Ferragamo loafers and hard-bottom gators over any other footwear. French cuff shirts were the order of the day whenever Sidney went out to conduct business. Just like there were definitely stark differences between the two men, so was the life I had had with each.
When I was with Warren, I was always on edge about other bitches. Warren had cheated a few times to say the least. I also never knew if I would get a call saying he was dead or had been arrested for some shit, so whenever he was in the streets and my cell phone rang, it sent a sense of dread through me. Life with Warren was always an adventure. I never knew what any given day would hold whether it was shopping trips, wild parties, or a day of straight animalistic sex from sunup until sundown. Most of the things Warren bought me were hood rich shit, like Gucci bags, the latest True Religion or Seven for All Mankind jeans, and shit that chicks in the hood saved up their pennies to get. Warren had brought me up from the streets, so for a while I felt a sense of loyalty toward him. Life with Sidney was routine, predictable, and some days even mundane. He went to run his businesses or on business trips and I played the role of kept woman. I didn’t ever have to worry about another woman calling me. My cell phone rang at the same time every day with the same call from Sidney. I tried to do spontaneous things like the lunch surprise today, but I knew it kind of made Sidney uncomfortable. Sex with him was blah, mundane. I always tried to spice it up, but as long as I couldn’t buy him a new dick, it would still be the same. Sidney’s wealth allowed me to shop for things I’m sure girls from my old neighborhood had never experienced. When I got with him, it was all Akris, Celine, and Hermes bags, clothes from Thakoon, Diane Von Fürstenberg, and shoes from Christian Louboutin and 3.1 Phillip Lim. Grown folks shit. After getting with Sidney, I also had the pleasure of having my name added to those special black lists in all of the designer shops. Those snooty-ass stores would’ve never allowed Warren to add his name to those lists no matter how much drug and gun money that nigga had.
Sidney was eighteen years older than me, which my mother hated right away. “He has already lived his life, Gianna. He will stop you from living yours. Men like him just want a trophy wife,” my mother had preached behind Sidney’s back after she’d first met him. Sidney’s family apparently felt the same way about me. He had five kids who all hated me. Those fucking brats made my life hell when they were around. I was only four years older than his eldest daughter, Arianna, which caused lots of problems with the kids and his ex-wives. And forget about Sidney’s crotchety-ass mother. That old bitch hated me with a passion. She was constantly telling Sidney that I was no good for him; that I was just using him for his money; and that before she died she would see to it that our marriage ended. I had many run-ins with his mother . . . none of them positive. I once heard his mother on speakerphone call me a scam artist and a fucking gold digger. Sidney loved me, that much I felt like I knew for sure. He never let his family come in between us. I cared about him and maybe I even love him by now, but I wasn’t in love with Sidney like I had been with Warren. Those were feelings I could never get over, but I’d tried like hell to put those shits to the far reaches of my mind. I thought running away and never seeing Warren again would cause the feelings to all die, but now I know better. All it took was a mention of him to dredge them all back up to the surface.
6
My Mission
W
hen my Range Rover pulled into the Costner Luxury Cars parking lot, I immediately noticed that Sidney was in front of the door with his arms folded. I could tell he had been waiting on me, because as owner of the lot, he hardly ever stood outside.
“Here we go. Get ready for it,” I mumbled to myself. I got my nerves together, plastered on a fake smile, and climbed out of the vehicle. “Hi, baby. What are you doing out here?” I sang real phony-like. I came around and opened the passenger door so I could retrieve the soul food I had bought for our little lunch date.
Sidney didn’t answer my question. Not a good sign. He approached just as I used my hip to close the door. His face was serious. I could tell there were going to be more questions coming from his ass. I wasn’t really in the mood for the third degree. My mind was all over the place. I felt a buzz of annoyance flitting through me. I didn’t want to take it out on Sidney. It wasn’t his fault that my entire world had come crashing down on me today.
“That was a long time,” Sidney said, his naturally deep voice making my insides churn. I closed my eyes for a few seconds trying to get my mood together. I wish he would stop fucking with me right now. I kept smiling and singing. It was all I could do to keep my nerves and my anger at bay. I didn’t want to take it out on him.
“Yeah, that traffic was a bitch,” I replied, avoiding eye contact. Sidney could always tell when something was wrong with me by the look on my face. Call it “older man intuition” or whatever, but he was a very good read of people’s expressions. He was watching me closely; I could feel the heat of his gaze on me. I tried to quickly get the heat off of me.
“C’mon, let’s go inside so we can finally have our little lunch date, honey,” I said sweetly, trying to hurry up and get past the subject about the reason for my being so late. Sidney let out a long sigh, which caused my heart to speed up. Can he tell I’m lying? Why doesn’t he just leave the subject alone! I screamed inside my head. I really didn’t need the aggravation right now.
“I’m sorry, Gigi, but I won’t be able to eat with you. I have a very big client coming in a few minutes,” Sidney said, his words coming out of his mouth in rapid succession. I stopped walking. My feelings quickly changed from annoyed nervousness to straight annoyance.
“Why didn’t you tell me that shit over the phone?!” I snapped, turning this situation around to put him on the defensive. Maybe I could get him to forget about how I kept him waiting. “Why would you let me ride all the way here, deal with that traffic, if you knew you had a client coming?” I asked, raising my voice.
“No . . . no, baby, listen. This appointment was made after I spoke with you earlier. The client says he heard about me and wants to deal only with me. Says a good friend of his recommended me for what I can do for him,” Sidney said in a low whisper. The words made cramps rumble through my stomach. Another exclusive client deal, that’s what got Warren and me into the bullshit we got into back then. I shuddered at the thought. Warren would not stop running through my damn head now.
Sidney stepped closer to me. “C’mon, Gigi, I’m truly sorry, but you know how I make most of my money here with this recession, don’t you? How I keep you in all those fine clothes and that big-ass house . . .” Sidney whispered, his tone kind of chastising.
I exhaled. I knew he was referring to the fact that ninety percent of his customers were drug dealers who paid him with cash so they could get the hottest new whips on the road. Sidney worked up the paperwork for them so that they could buy cars without the hassle of all the explanations you have to go through at the legitimate dealerships. All the hustlers in Virginia Beach knew that Sidney was the one who could put them behind the wheel of their dream car and there would be no questions asked. It would cost them much more for the car, but what the hell did they care when their money was all dirty anyway. Of course, Sidney got his cut out of the deals. A big cut, I might add. Which, in turn, benefitted me; so who was I to really complain. Yet, I was feeling stressed and devilish, so I wasn’t going to relent that easily.
“Yes, I know all about how you make your money since you keep reminding me how you work so hard to keep me,” I answered, rolling my eyes. I hated when he made me feel like I was a moocher or some shit. Sidney liked to hold his financial support over my head whenever he got the chance. Most of the time I didn’t care because I felt like, as his wife, I deserved everything I got. Shit, I was fucking his old ass almost every night, and trust me, his dick game was nowhere near Warren’s. Most times I had to do lots of mental preparation to fuck Sidney.
“Don’t be like that, Gigi. I do this all for us. Just understand that I can’t let this deal . . .” Sidney was saying. Suddenly, I couldn’t hear him anymore. My ears were literally fucking ringing. As he kept rambling I could see his mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear him because I had noticed a familiar figure heading straight toward us. I would recognize that walk anywhere. I swear I felt like someone had reached into my chest and clamped down on my heart with a vise grip. My eyes widened as big as dinner plates. My breath was caught in my throat. I stared out of the large glass window of the dealership, my feet seemingly rooted to the floor. I could not stop staring as the threat got closer and closer and came more into focus. Sidney noticed my gaze and looked out the window too. Sidney smiled. I wasn’t fucking smiling at all. My mind was telling me to run, but some unknown force was holding me still. Goose bumps rose on my arms and legs. Sidney was as cheery as a fucking Cheshire cat.
“Oh . . . there he is. That client I was telling you about. That’s got to be him. He said he’d be wearing a red shirt,” Sidney said excitedly.
What the fuck! I can’t believe this shit! Run, Gigi! Run!!
my mind was telling me.
“Tha . . . that’s . . . um . . . your client,” I stuttered, totally stunned. I didn’t even realize I had dropped the bags of food at my feet. I think my mouth was even hanging open.
“Gigi . . . what is it?” Sidney asked, looking from me to the window and back again. He must’ve been thinking I was straight-up crazy.
“Um . . . I have to use the ladies’ room,” I said nervously. Before I knew it my legs were in motion. My brain had finally told my stupid ass to get the fuck out of dodge before that so-called client made it to where Sidney and I stood. I almost broke into a full-out sprint just as I heard the chimes on the dealership door ring indicating someone had entered. I raced into the bathroom and pushed my way inside of the last empty stall. I slammed the door behind me and slid the lock to secure the door. My chest was heaving up and down, and sweat had literally broke out on my entire body. My lips felt chapped from having my mouth open breathing so hard. Good thing I was in a bathroom already because I sure felt like I would shit, piss, and throw up all at the same time.
I rested my back against the stall door and stared straight at the wall. I could see Warren’s scowling face very clearly in my mind’s eye now. He was coming for my ass, that was for sure. There wasn’t shit I could do about it. I literally felt like I was having a heart attack. I placed my hand on my chest, trying to will myself to calm down.
“Oh, my God! He is going to kill me for what I did,” I gasped. I couldn’t move, completely paralyzed with fear. Tears stung at the backs of my eyes as I thought about what was happening right now. I had done some foul shit, but I thought for sure I could put it all behind me. I guess not. A part of my past was standing right in the same building with me, probably shaking hands with my poor unsuspecting husband. The thought of Sidney being in harm’s way made me hunch over and gag. I dry heaved several times, but I couldn’t vomit.
Sidney was right outside of the door conducting business with Ace—Warren’s right-hand man and best friend since childhood. I knew for sure Warren had definitely sent Ace to the dealership after he found out from my stupid-ass mother that I was married to Sidney Costner. That had to be the explanation for Ace showing up. There wasn’t that much fucking coincidence in the world! Ace was a straight DC dude; no way he needed to come all the way to Virginia to cop a whip from my husband. I hadn’t seen Ace since days before I had done what I did to Warren. Ace had been right in the courtroom when Warren was sentenced. Fortunately, I had made it out of the building before Ace had had the chance to confront me. I’d known Ace for all of the years I had been with Warren, and I knew that Ace was more ruthless and dangerous than Warren could ever be. I heard Ace was the one who executed Ant after all of the speculation that the feds came down on Warren and me that day too easily. The streets had been reporting that Ant hadn’t actually gotten into a DV situation with his baby mother. Instead, he had actually been at the police station setting Warren up. Well, needless to say, Ant was found with half of his head missing from a gunshot blast he took in the back of it. Ace was said to be the executioner.
Paranoia had fully taken over as I stood cowering in the bathroom. I jumped when I heard the bathroom door open. I could barely control my breathing. I just knew Ace had already shot Sidney and was coming into the bathroom to get me now. I bit down hard into my bottom lip as I quietly moved toward the toilet, slid my heels off, and climbed atop the toilet seat so Ace couldn’t see my feet under the stall door. My legs shook uncontrollably and burned like hell as I crouched with my knees bent. Sweat dripped from my forehead into my eyes, but I didn’t dare move to wipe it away. I listened to the footsteps on the tile floor. I said a silent prayer for my soul and for my mother. I knew she would just die when she found out I’d been shot down like a dog execution style in a fucking bathroom stall. I swallowed hard as the footsteps stopped. It seemed like an eternity before I finally heard the toilet a few stalls away flush. The sound from the toilet flushing almost made me throw up with nervousness. Maybe that’s just a ploy to get me to blow my hiding spot. Maybe Ace wants me to think it’s just someone using the toilet and when I climb down from here, he will get me. All kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. But then I realized Ace wasn’t the hide-the-ball type of nigga. If he was going to come in and shoot my ass, it would’ve been a wrap already. Finally, I heard the main bathroom door open again and then there was silence. Whoever it was had just used the toilet and left. The bitch hadn’t even washed her nasty-ass hands. Whew! I breathed a sigh of relief. I guess it hadn’t been Ace trying to kill me after all. I let out a long, exasperated breath as I climbed down off the toilet. I shook my head from side to side trying to get my thoughts back in order. I slid back into my heels and carefully opened the stall lock. I peeked out. The bathroom was empty except for me.
“Stop it, Gianna. You’re being stupid now. Warren wouldn’t be able to find you and send Ace that quickly. Maybe it was just a coincidence that he was at Sidney’s dealership,” I mumbled to myself. Convincing myself that this was all just some crazy fluke was going to be the only way I could mentally deal with it right now. I walked over to the sinks and splashed water onto my face. I looked as pale as a ghost, not my usual glowing caramel complexion. My long, auburn hair was frazzled as shit from the sweat. I had to stop being crazy. I smoothed my clothes out and opened the bathroom door. I can’t lie; I was still scared as shit. My thick, muscular legs did me no good right now because they were shaky as shit when I walked out of the door.
I moved slowly and carefully. Strangely, the dealership was like a ghost town. I crinkled my eyebrows as I looked around at the unusually quiet space. There were empty desks and all of the salespeople seemed to have just disappeared. This caused an uneasy feeling to come over me. Are they all dead? Did Ace herd everybody into a room and start shooting them, looking for me? How many times do all of the salespeople have clients at the same time . . . not very often. I also didn’t see Sidney or Ace and trust me, I was looking for them.
Fuck it! Just make a run for it, Gigi,
I finally told myself. I was praying I could make it to my car and out of there before anyone could see me. I started moving faster toward the door, but my effort was short-lived.
“Well, well, well,” I heard the unmistakable raspy voice coming from my left. My heart dropped into my stomach and I froze. “Gigi the snitch. Or should I say the snitch and the thief,” the voice said.
My head whipped around frantically and I finally saw Ace walking toward me. I could’ve turned into a pile of salt right then and there. My nerves were completely unhinged, but I had no choice but to play it cool. My nostrils flared like a bull’s.
“Not here, Ace,” I whispered harshly. Surprisingly, the adrenaline rushing through my veins had given me a big boost of courage that had shocked even me. I tried to keep walking.
Ace was on me within a second. He grabbed my arm roughly. “Don’t worry . . . your old man is busy working numbers in the office, so he won’t see us. And I made sure I brought enough goons with me to keep those fucking sales guys busy too. Oh, yeah, and the secretary is in there helping your hubby crunch the numbers . . . it’s all taken care of, G-money. All planned out just like this visit to Virginia,” Ace said through clenched teeth as he painfully tightened his grip on my arm. Hearing Ace say Warren’s nickname for me made me want to cry. I wasn’t about to show fear, though. I had to play hardball or else Ace would know I was scared shitless. I tried to wrestle my arm away from him, but that just made him clamp down harder. Pain shot up my arm.
“Yeah, but other people will see right in through those glass windows and there are loads of surveillance cameras around here. So go ahead and do something stupid. Your ass will be hemmed the fuck up so fast,” I whispered.
Ace smiled like I had won. He finally let me go. “You’re right. This is not the time or place to discuss the seriousness of the shit you’re in. You need to meet me tonight in Norfolk at nine-thirty sharp. We got some big shit to discuss. You know I mean business because your real husband sent me. He is not going to rest on this one, Gigi,” Ace whispered back, a serious expression spreading over his face. I felt like shitting on myself right then and there.