Mother Be The Judge (5 page)

"You will have to speak up for the tape please Adrian."

"No comment." Adrian lifted his voice slightly.

"He said no comment." Jocasta tapped the table. "And that's what the solicitor has told him to say, so..."

"Sorry; Mrs Brown?" PC Judd stopped Jocasta.

"Miss." An exasperated Jocasta almost shouted back at him.

"Miss Brown, if you could just be quiet please; you are only here to make sure that Adrian is not mistreated; you are not under arrest and are not obliged to speak."

Jocasta harrumphed and sat back. She was getting more and more agitated as this day went on. Not only were they accusing Adrian of something ludicrous but the procedures they had to go through just to get into a room seemed ridiculous.

PC Judd went on to give full disclosure about the allegation made against Adrian. He informed them that the girl called Charmaine Sprint, who was 11 years old, had been sitting on some steps outside the lunch hall of their school. It was quite a secluded area of the school, not used by many students. Charmaine suffered from Asperger's Syndrome so would sit there often as she liked to exclude herself from the melee of morning break.

When Charmaine returned to her lessons after break, the teacher noticed her top was ripped at the armpit. Charmaine seemed distressed as she was holding her hands up to her ears and rocking in her chair.

"Now, Charmaine was taken out of class and her form teacher spoke to her privately Adrian. She told the teacher that you had approached her on the stairs and without even speaking to her you attempted to kiss her and then grabbed her in the pubic area. Do you know what the pubic area is?"

"No comment."

PC Judd put a piece of paper onto the table and drew the outline of a female form. He then pointed to the groin with his pen. "That is the pubic area, Adrian. I need to know if you understand the area I'm talking about please."

"Of course he does." Jocasta intervened once again.

"Are you happy he understands?" Pc Judd directed his question at the solicitor.

"Yes, I'm happy that your picture is adequate." The solicitor confirmed.

"Ok good, now obviously Charmaine was very distressed, she finds it extremely difficult to express herself especially when she is upset. We are currently video interviewing her in our dedicated suite and all we have at the moment is the statement from her teacher. What we want Adrian is your side of the story." PC Judd paused to watch Adrian's reaction. "This is your first opportunity to give us an explanation; do you want to tell me what happened?"

"No comment." Adrian mumbled, he looked at the floor where his foot tapped against the table leg.

"Adrian wouldn't do that, the girl must be lying," Jocasta said, ready as ever to defend her son.

"Please Miss Brown; you are not here to speak for your son."

"But..."

"You are here to observe that Adrian is being treated fairly but you cannot speak for him."

"It's ok Miss Brown," said the solicitor, "Don't worry, just let Adrian say no comment for now."

It didn't seem right that Jocasta was unable to defend her child when he was in such desperate trouble. She closed her mouth and joined Adrian in looking at the floor. PC Judd went over his initial disclosure line by line, asking Adrian each time, "Do you have anything to say about that?"

"No comment," became the robotic reply. Sometimes Adrian would reply so fast that PC Judd would become agitated and say, "Adrian I haven't asked you the question yet."

It went on in this vein for forty five minutes until the buzzer cut in, informing them the tape was about to come to an end.

"Right I haven't got any more questions, Adrian, do you have anything you wish to add or clarify?"

"No comment."

"Ok, the time is now 13:32 by my watch and this interview is concluded." PC Judd pushed his chair back and walked out of the room without an invitation to follow. Jocasta could see he was frustrated by Adrian's lack of cooperation in the interview. They followed him back into the custody suite and were advised that Adrian would be bailed to return to Olinsbury police station in two weeks' time as they were awaiting the statement from Charmaine.

Jocasta thanked the solicitor who advised her that until Charmaine's statement came through the police didn't really have a case as it was her word against Adrian's. he suggested they wait for the bail return date before he went into any greater detail about what may happen to Adrian should he be charged and go to court. Jocasta got the feeling that Mr Brown had dispensed of his duty where Adrian was concerned and was already focusing on his next client. He didn't seem to believe it necessary to go into great length about Adrian's legal rights or to give any assurances about how the case was likely to go; he just moved them out of custody by placing his arm across Jocasta's back and out through reception into the street.

"I will meet you here on the 24
th
October unless you hear otherwise." Mr Brown said, taking his mobile phone out of his pocket as he spoke. Before Jocasta could ask anything more of him, he had turned his back to her and walked off, talking into his phone.

Jocasta, at last alone with Adrian, looked across at his face. He was eye to eye with her now, no longer the little boy she used to look down upon. His hair was messy and surrounded his face, it was as dark as his father's had been and had the sheen to it that most Mediterranean men had in their hair.

Adrian's dirty blue eyes looked obstinately into Jocasta's own, "What happened Adrian?" she asked of him. "Whatever happened we can work through it."

"It's your fault mum."

This was not what Jocasta had been expecting. Tears, yes, denial, yes, but blame? Where had that come from?

"How is it my fault darling? I know you didn't do this, you just wouldn't."

"I just wanted to know what it felt like." Adrian shrugged his shoulders and turned away to hide the grin that came across his face. It was not missed by Jocasta however and had someone shoved a knife into her guts at that very moment, it could not possibly have hurt her any more than the nine words her son had just spoken.

"Adrian, please tell me you don't mean that. Tell me you didn't do it, you didn't hurt that little girl." Conscious of the fact they were still in earshot and eye line of the police station, Jocasta began to walk away leading Adrian by the elbow and taking him to one of the benches on High Street.

"Mum, I didn't hurt her; I just wanted to know what a girl felt like. Everybody else has a girlfriend; everybody else has a computer and goes on holiday." He whined as though he had reverted back to being a six year old. "You never give me anything; I never even had a birthday party. I hate you; it's all your fault."

It took a while for her to process what Adrian had said but now Jocasta thought she could see what had happened. It
was
her fault. She hadn't looked after Adrian's needs properly; of course he needed a computer just like all the other kids his age. This incident with the girl was a cry for help, his way of getting attention from her. She believed she knew what she had to do.

"Oh Adrian, I am so sorry, please don't be upset with me. Listen I've been putting money away for emergencies but maybe this
is
one. Come on, let's go to Cambells Electrics and order you a computer. You don't need to worry any more, this is just a glitch. We will sort it out."

She gave him a quick embrace and stepped out in the direction of the electrical store on High Street. She didn't notice the sly smirk on Adrian's face which may have given her a different view of Adrian's true nature.

-x-

20
th
October 2003

Jocasta opened the envelope with the Metropolitan Police emblem on the top left corner. She felt bile rising into her mouth as the letter opened, this was Adrian's life on the line, the thing that would determine his liberty for the foreseeable future. She unfolded the letter and read its contents.

Mrs Jocasta Brown

731 Summer
vale Road

Elisworth

West London

T
W0 5PV

19
th
October 2003

Dear Mrs Brown

We write this letter to advise you Adrian Brown's bail conditions have been cancelled. Due to insufficient evidence we have decided to take no further action in this matter.

If you have any personal property at the police station, please attend with this letter between 9 and 5pm so it can be restored.

Yours faithfully

PC JUDD 234TX

And that was it, insufficient evidence the letter said. Jocasta knew that
something
had happened because of Adrian's admission but the girl was obviously unable to give a statement; he had been lucky.

She was confident that nothing like this would ever happen again as Adrian was now happily ensconced in his bedroom with his new computer playing a Crime Scene video game which was ironic. It had been an expensive gift considering it also meant a phone line being installed for internet access, but it was worth every penny if it meant Jocasta was doing the right thing by her precious boy.

'We grow neither better nor worse as we ge
t old but more like ourselves.'

Mary Lamberton Becker

August 2008.

"Happy birthday Adrian, you're an adult now." Jocasta knocked on Adrian's bedroom door; she no longer went into Adrian's room as he had told her he needed his privacy now that he was older.

-x-

Jocasta remembered the day the computer had arrived, she saw it as a boy turning into a young man but was sad to see the bags of Lego, teddies and action men coming out of the room to be replaced with metal, wire and video games.

For the last five years since then Adrian had spent most of his home time in his room. Jocasta insisted he came out to eat meals with her as this was the only way she could spend any time with him. Adrian refused the day trips they used to enjoy together, choosing instead to sit in his room. The only days out they would have together were to the doctor's for regular testosterone injections and to the school for parent consultations. Adrian had also been expected to attend counselling since the incident at the school and although no further action had been taken, the school stated that they had to look after the rights of Charmaine, so asked if Adrian could be relocated to another school. Since then he had had to make the forty minute trek each day to Cranesford. Jocasta had been desperate to accompany her son but he insisted on maintaining some independence and refused any company she had offered.

After Adrian's accusations about having no birthday party, Jocasta had spent the next year saving anything she could, which was not easy as she had now been paying for a phone line. When his fourteenth birthday was imminent she had surprised Adrian with the promise of a birthday party. Adrian, rather than being delighted, had sneered at her and asked just who was he supposed to invite? He told her he spent the day with retards and fuckwits and had no friends, again blaming Jocasta because she had agreed to the change of schools. Jocasta hadn't told him she had had no choice as Adrian was no longer welcome at the school due to his actions towards Charmaine; instead she had apologised and given Adrian the money she had saved so he could buy himself a bike to help him get to and from school each day. He had snatched the money and walked away from her, not bothering to thank her.

The next four years had pretty much gone on in the same way; Jocasta making every effort to meet all Adrian's needs and Adrian barely communicating with her. He would eat his meals in stony silence, offering only grunts in response to Jocasta's cheery conversation before stomping back to his room and shutting the door on any love she offered him.

Adrian finished school at the end of July 2008 and had spent the last month locked away in his room. Jocasta had noticed his skin had become waxen and pale as he no longer spent any time in daylight. She worried he may make himself ill but was pleased on the other hand that he hadn't fallen in with the wrong crowd or taken drugs and got into trouble. She conveniently glossed over the incidents with the young girls; these moments had been banished from her mind to be replaced by only the happy memories of days in London and walks in the park.

-x-

"Are you coming out Adrian? I've got your present out here." Jocasta went back to the living room and sat on the sofa which had still not been replaced. The brown cushions hung from their zips on the back in varying degrees of wear and tear. Jocasta's part of the sofa was heavily dipped from years of sitting in the same position but the other two seats remained plump as no other person had sat on them; Adrian had always lounged on the carpet at Jocasta's feet as a child and had no interest in sitting with her as a teen.

The flat screen television stood proudly on the cheap MDF sideboard, a SKY box beside it, hooked up and ready to go. It was brand new and fully paid for, a result of much sacrifice on Jocasta's part; she had almost forgotten what chocolate tasted like. This was Adrian's gift, his eighteenth birthday present. It was also Jocasta's way of reconnecting with her son; her hope was that now he had reached adulthood they would become companions and she had visions of them sitting together watching the new telly, eagerly following the trials and tribulations of the families on Coronation Street and her personal favourite, Eastenders. She knew Adrian had a keen interest in Crime Scenes as he now owned every version of the video game. SKY would now give Adrian the opportunity to watch the programme as well and Jocasta was looking forward to learning about and sharing his interest, even if it was a little macabre. She visualised a cosy couple together in a comfortable silence, her in her usual spot and Adrian making his own dent in the sofa.

Hearing Adrian's door open, Jocasta quickly lit the candles on the Victoria sponge she had made the night before. The jam oozed out of the middle and powdered sugar covered the burnt bits on the top. Not being very good at icing, Jocasta had opted for plain and simple. She sat smiling, so proud of the present she had bought for Adrian. Jocasta couldn't wait to see the look on Adrian's face when he saw the television she had bought him. She decided to turn it on so he could see the telly in full effect.

Jocasta heard the flush of the toilet and then Adrian's bedroom door closing once again. Her heart sank when she realised he was not coming into the front room to see her or his present. Believing that maybe he hadn't woken properly yet, Jocasta blew out the candles and sat back to watch This Morning with her favourite, Philip Schofield; he always cheered up her mornings. She would wait until Adrian was ready.

-x-

After another two hours and several unsuccessful attempts to lure Adrian out of his room, Jocasta decided she would pop to the shops to get the ingredients for that night's dinner. She got ready and left the flat, stepping out into the noon day summer's sun. Big Value had built a supermarket behind the Fern Bridge estate which had made shopping very convenient for Jocasta. She enjoyed the short walk through the children's playground to get there as she loved to see the young kids from the estate playing. Her flat looked down on the playground and Jocasta often watched the girls and boys of the estate play with the equipment. The ages of the children would change with the hours of the day; teenagers taking over the playground later in the day, intimidating the younger ones back to their homes. Parents were rarely there to defend their children; the playground was used exclusively by kids from the estate, where everybody knew each other and all were confident their children were safe.

Jocasta walked through the playground now, enjoying the warmth from the sun on her skin. She smiled as she saw two young girls on the swings, kicking their legs backwards and forwards to make the swings get higher and higher. She knew their names were Lacey and Savannah as she saw them here often and had heard them calling out to each other. Jocasta was used to seeing the girls alone but was always filled with disgust for the parents who so carelessly left their children to play. She would never have allowed Adrian to go anywhere alone as a child, especially at the very young age she believed these girls to be; they could not have been more than ten or eleven years old. These parents also seemed to allow their girls to dress like tarts in her opinion. 'What mothers let their daughter wear crop tops and mini-skirts?' Jocasta mouthed to herself. No matter how hot it was if she had had a daughter then jeans and a t-shirt or a pretty summer dress would have been her clothing of choice.

She continued to walk towards Big Value but heard one of the girls calling, "Adrian." She turned to see the girls looking up towards her flat and looked up herself to see Adrian hanging out of his bedroom window. He was smiling down at the girls and threw a paper plane down to their uplifted arms. Jocasta saw the girl whom she thought was Lacey; reach down for the piece of paper. Lacey opened the plane out into its original state and both girls read or looked at whatever was on the paper, giggling to each other. Both girls then waved up to Adrian and skipped out of the park, Lacey still clutching the now crumpled piece of paper. Jocasta looked up again at Adrian's bedroom window hoping to catch his eye and exchange a wave, but he had already returned to the confines of his bedroom.

-x-

Big Value was busy as usual; at times this irritated Jocasta because
people
irritated her. She would often have a trolley barged into the back of her legs as if she were invisible and never a sorry was uttered by the offending trolley pusher. Today though Jocasta didn't mind the crowds; Adrian's refusal to come out of his bedroom had filled Jocasta with a loneliness she didn't believe she had experienced since Adrian had been born. In truth the loneliness had begun to develop ever since the day Adrian had blamed her for his indiscretion with his young classmate. After Jocasta had bought him the computer he had removed himself from her company. Jocasta had been in denial about this though, choosing to keep herself busy tidying the house or preparing for their joint mealtimes, but today's events had led her to realise that even if you have a physical being in your home it can still be a very lonely place. Now she understood what people meant when they talked of being lonely in a loveless marriage.

She meandered down and up the numerous aisles looking for inspiration for a food item which may tempt Adrian from his room. Eventually Jocasta plumped for tuna pasta bake, always guaranteed to make Adrian smile. She went through the checkout and paid for her items then stopped to look at the board where customers would advertise their cast offs for sale. Sometimes a bargain could be had here. As Jocasta looked through the Ads for second hand buggies, cots, toys, furniture and empty fish tanks, she spotted the situations vacant board which was usually empty. Today there was an advert for a position in the store to be a floor assistant. Believing Adrian might be interested and wanting to give him an advantage, Jocasta removed the advert from its slot and put it in her pocket to take home. This could be just the thing Adrian needed to break into the world of work; it may even get him out of his bedroom and onto the sofa. Jocasta left Big Value feeling optimistic about her return home, sometimes more than just household items could be found in the supermarket; this could change Adrian's life.

-x-

Jocasta was thrilled to find Adrian sitting on the sofa when she got home. He had turned on the television and was busy watching a programme about antiques with a decidedly orange David Dickenson rabbiting on about chips. "What do you think?" Jocasta said as she moved into the room, "Its great isn't it?"

"Mmm." Adrian's usual monosyllabic reply came. "Need Sky Plus." He stated before getting up and starting the return journey to his bedroom.

"Well," said Jocasta, "There's a job going at Big Value." She handed him the card. "If you got that you could afford to get it."

Adrian took the card from her hand. He smiled a smile which made Jocasta's heart thump in her chest. "Yeah actually that's a good idea." He enthused, "I'll go there now."

Adrian went and took his jacket from the coat hook, putting it on he then said, "I will see you later." He gave a short wave before leaving the flat.

The job was obviously what had been missing from Adrian's life. Jocasta gave a silent prayer to an unknown God to let Adrian get the job. It pleased her that she had made Adrian smile on his birthday; even if it wasn't with the television she had spent so much money on. Her boy was happy and that's all she needed in her life.

-x-

Putting the pasta on to boil Jocasta sang 'Mama Mia' as she opened a tin of tuna and another of sweetcorn. Food always made her happy. The thought of the flavours entering her mouth, followed by the juicy chew and the satisfying lump in her gullet as the food moved down to her stomach was like sex to Jocasta. Made even more pleasurable by the promise of a pudding, which was a rarity because of the expense. There was pudding today of course and she eyed the Victoria sponge hungrily. "You will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine," she promised the sponge cake. Jocasta eagerly awaited the arrival of Adrian. She hoped it was good news. The meal, the television and a new job would make this the best birthday present Adrian had ever had.

The front door opened just as she set the pasta bake on the table. "I got it." yelled Adrian from the corridor. He came into the kitchen with a jaunty walk and a true smile on his face. "I got the job." he exclaimed.

"Oh that is wonderful Adrian; I knew you would get it."

"Yes, I'm working on the shop floor stacking shelves but if I do well they might put me on the tills."

Jocasta hadn't seen Adrian this animated for a long time. She knew then that he had turned the corner into adulthood and the visions of comfortable nights in watching the new television came back to her. Everything was going to be lovely.