Motown Showdown (25 page)

“I’m whoever I need to be,” she says happily. That’s Camo, always so damn chipper. “But no matter what face I’m wearing, what the job entails, I never lose myself. I will never do anything I don’t want to do.”

“Most disgusting act you’ve ever had to put on?”

“Flirting with and I shit you not, the human version of Jabba the hut. You?”

“Never had an up close job like that,” I admit. “Don’t think I could fake it.”

“Ha!” she laughs. “Trust me, it was worthy of an Emmy.”

I have no excuse for my behavior, none.

Still on the floor, knees to my chest with my arms at my sides I drop my head knowing I went too far. I can’t fix this. She didn’t want me to go tonight, but I went. She didn’t want me to see her like that, but I saw. I just saw
wrong
. She told me she didn’t fuck The Greek, and she hadn’t. It took me a while to work that out, but Camo did not lie. She had no reason to. I was in my own head, thinking the worst, refusing to see. I was in a jealous rage and let my emotions rule me.

I called her a whore.

I wasn’t gentle with her.

I bit her out of anger.

She didn’t get off.

She ran out the back door.

The shame was crushing me. When my phone buzzed whoever was on the other side would hear it in my voice. “Yeah?”

“Good work,” Bobo says pleased with both of us. “Wheels are in motion, the streets will stay balanced and we’ve got fucking Monarch in our pocket now. If he didn’t love Cinn in a freaky ass way, he’d probably propose to Camo.”

“The Greek,” I ask ignoring the last part. “How does he fit?”

“He was there to kill Monarch. The good news is one less sadist, torturer and abuser in the world.”

“Has she ever fucked a mark?”

“Why would she ever need to?” He pauses. “That’s a stupid fucking question, Gadget. She’s a hitter, not a whore.” Then he hung up.

Heading outside, I don’t bother with a shirt. Throwing on my jeans, I hit the yard and call for her. It took a minute but after scaling a few trees, I found her. She was awake and watching me. She was also weary.

“I didn’t understand.”

“Yeah,” she says softly.

“I was jealous,” I admit. “And scared for you. Shit, Camo I thought…”

“Yeah, I know what you thought,” she says sitting up. “I
felt
what you thought too. There will never be a job where I don’t know the score. I do my research, weigh the pros and cons. The fact that you even thought for a
second
that I would fuck a mark proves you don’t know who I am.”

“That’s not fair,” I counter. “You didn’t tell me the job, what to expect or how to play it. Dammit Camo, I went in blind.”

Jumping down, she hooks her bag over her shoulder and shakes her head. “Had I told you, we wouldn’t have made it out. I know this because if the tables were turned and I knew, I
know
we wouldn’t have made it out. Had you known, you’d have lost your shit, same as I would.”

“He had his hands on you! He fucking bit you! I couldn’t do anything but ---”

“Watch my back and trust that I know what I’m doing!”

“Do you have any fucking clue how hard it is to watch you work? Can’t you fucking get that I want to protect
you
for once?”

“All these years that I watched out for you, not once, Gage, was it because I didn’t think you were good enough,” she sighs. “I did it because you are amazing at what you do. I learned so much from you. When I found out about Pilgrim, I just wanted to have your back until you were ready to see it. From the start, I was connected to you, from day one I loved you. From day one I pushed because I wanted you to be your best. But you know what? Instead of being your best, you hot-dogged your jobs, botched a lot of shit up and rubbed my nose in it with women I’d never measure up to. Since meeting you in person you’ve done nothing but second guess me and what just went down proved to me that you will never care for me the way I care for you.”

“What the fuck? You’re cutting me off because I’m not screaming I love you, is that it?”

“I should,” she shrugs. “You won’t let yourself love me because I’m better than you. It’s stupid and childish, but it’s your hang up not mine. Only you can’t move past it, you don’t want to. Instead, you throw it in my face at every opportunity. Then you call me a whore and you
hurt
me. You continue to destroy me and yet like a kicked puppy, I stick around because
you
being alive is more important than
my
feelings. If I were you, I’d stop kicking the puppy because sooner or later it’ll turn on you.
So yes, I played you from the start. Like a fucking fiddle, Gadget, because you gave me no choice. How many times do you need the reminder that I’m better at this than you are? Twenty bucks says you’ll never learn.”

Like she kicked me in the nuts, I sucked in a breath. Kandace and Rome were out on the deck watching, but I did not give a shit. “You’re a fucking bitch.”

“True but I’m a fucking bitch that can also walk away leaving you and your family really fucking vulnerable too. Remember that the next time you want to teach me a lesson. This is
my
fucking game, Gadget. My players, my rules. You don’t like being played? Then you should have picked the right team!”

Bypassing the deck, I head around front to get in my truck.

Fuck her
and
her bullshit.

“My baby has the biggest heart,” my mother said braiding my hair. “You know what scares me the most, Pepper?”

“That I like guns not dolls?”

“No,” she laughs. “That you’ll follow in your dad’s footsteps. That you’ll be the best and that one day you’ll meet a man who steals your heart.”

“How is that scary?”

“Because if he doesn’t protect it, he leaves my baby vulnerable.”

“Then I’ll keep my heart,” I sniff. “I won’t let anyone steal it.”

Softly sighing, my mother kisses my head and whispers, “If only it were that simple.”

So hell no.

He doesn’t get to storm off, not on my watch. Even knowing he doesn’t love me I still have his back, and this is the thanks I get? Fucked on the floor, used as a cum dumpster and being called a whore. The lovebirds are looking at me like they weren’t sure if I was going to shoot him or stab him and right now, I was on the fence. Heading for the front, Rome stops me but I push him aside.

“He cares, Camo,” he says gently. “He’s a guy; it’s not easy for a guy when his woman fights his battles.”

Pursing my lips, I debate on yelling or sticking with sarcasm. I went with blunt honesty. “Nothing about Gadget is easy,” I tell him. “And if memory serves, you didn’t mind Kandace fighting yours. If he had the ability to listen, maybe lean once in a while, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Then pushing past him, I take the steps quickly and catch him as he’s pulling out of the driveway. Standing behind his truck, he hits the brakes then jumps out. Yep, he was fired up. “Move your ass,” he threatens.

“I’ll move my ass,” I warn him. “Then I’ll follow you. Then I’ll watch you pick up a new piece pretending she’s me because
that
never gets old.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with you playing me?”

“I did what I had to do so you could
live
, Gadget. You did what you had to do to
hurt me
. I may be the wire, I may run shit, but I followed, kept alive the one guy that didn’t work for me. I did I because you were special. Is it possible for you just once to admit that you need me?”
Just love me back!

“Camo,” he warns lowering his voice, but I was done and felt it coming. I was about to blow.

“Oh shut up,” I snap stomping my foot. “I put my life in jeopardy for yours and what do I get? Yelled at, accused of playing you. You’ve known Pilgrim was dirty, you
knew
. And yet Camo was there saving your ass, not Pilgrim, not the skanks you bang,
me
. Try getting out of your own way, be the guy that talked to me, played trivia crack with me, was
nice
to me. This guy,” I say waving my hands at him. “Can’t win without me because he’ll be dead. Your actions, your non-action puts others’ lives in danger and I still chose
you
. I get it; you don’t love me. One day I’ll get over that. But I will not fucking jeopardize my only family and yours because you don’t like being played. We have a job to do, or we could all die. If you don’t want, my help speak now, Gadget because---”

“I don’t want your help,” he says without blinking and it was like a gunshot went off. “Never did.
You
followed, put
your
ass on the line for reasons that are
your
own. Like I said, didn’t want it, didn’t ask for it. Sure as fuck didn’t ask you to love me either. We are not Kandace and Rome. And you know what, Camo? We
never will be
. I will never love you like that. No one will love you like that because people don’t like being pawns. The next piece I fuck will be what it always was,
a piece to fuck
. Only difference is now, after this shit? I can promise you, you will
not
cross my mind. I got enough on my conscience without you always trying to die for me. So go, Camo. You are not needed, you never
were
.”

I felt his rejection like a punch. Moving back and watching him essentially throw me away, I forced myself not to cry in front of him. Six years and it was always the two of us, and now I was lost. I wasn’t sure which hurt worse, being discarded by my friend or being dismissed by the man I’m in love with.

Getting in my face he screams, “Go! Get the fuck outta here!” When I was too hurt to move, he pushed me out of his way so he could climb in his truck. Before closing his door and in the meanest voice I have ever heard he says, “Tonight, you done up like that? Best fuck of my life, Camo. Should have tried that six years ago, I could have added you to the rotation.”

Squaring my shoulders, I suck in the insult and turn away. Walking back indoors, I hear him drive off and waste no time packing and since I didn’t have much it went quickly. Standing at my door was Kandace looking devastated for me. I didn’t want her sorry for me, she should be sorry for her brother since there’s a good chance she’ll be burying him soon.

“You and I know two different Gage’s,” she says sitting on the bed. I couldn’t look at the dated bed, the dated room with old wall paper or the black and white TV in the corner. “Right now I don’t like Gadget all that much.”

“I never had a sister,” I whisper barely holding it in. “But if I could pick my sister, she’d be you. I gotta go, doc, take care of yourself.”

“Camo,” she says pleading.

“Pilgrim isn’t playing by the rules which means you, Rome, and your dads are all fair game. Gage was right, to me this is a game. It’s the most important game there is. Kandace, you need to know that your brother is great at the game, but Pilgrim is better. He knows his weaknesses. Protect yourselves in the event I fail,
please
.”

“Camo wait,” she says jumping up. “You’ve watched his back for six years,” she says looking down at me. “You can’t leave when he needs you most when
we
need you. You love him, don’t go, he’ll come back.”

“I spent those years doing it because I thought he wanted me too,” I tell her moving around her. “He doesn’t love me; I heard him spell it out to Rome, but still I pushed and shouldn’t have. He no longer wants me or my help, but I’ll do everything within my power to remove the threat.” Turning to her I ask, “Do you know why I risk my life for his?”

“Because you love him,” she whispers.

“No,” I say tightening my bag. “Because Gage does good deeds, and the world needs him more than it needs me.”

“Hold up,” says Rome walking in. “The world needs you, Camo. Fuck,
we
need you! Don’t do this shit right now. He’s pissed, but he’ll deal. We just need a plan! You have one right?” When I said nothing he whispered, “Right?”

Of course I did, it was my game but instead of telling them that, I walked out the door.

Opening the app on my phone, I tap Gadget’s profile and lock on to his location. He was still close by. Regardless of what went down, I felt compelled to follow him, to keep him safe. Especially tonight. My gut was churning that I needed to be where he was. I couldn’t shake it something bad was going to happen.

Hailing a cab, I was only a few minutes behind. Paying the guy off, I wait outside the bar wondering what he was doing and praying it wasn’t what I thought he was doing. An hour and twenty minutes later, the door opened, and Gadget walked out with a tall, stacked woman wrapped tightly around his body.
Don’t do this to me, to us, please..
.

Picking her up by her ass he sets her in the passenger seat and touches her hair. Reaching over locking her belt, my breath caught and my stomach bottomed out. A few seconds later he did it. He leaned in and
kissed her
. I watched her wrap her arms around his neck, trail down his chest and then, not able to take anymore I shut my eyes and turned away but not before I saw him smile at me.

Slinging both bags over each shoulder, I ignore the stab of pain in my heart. I swallowed back the howl of loss that wanted out. I was helpless to do nothing but take it. There were no tears to shed, not this time because he finally pushed me too far. He
felt
me. He
knew
I followed, and he did this to
hurt
me.