Mountain Ash (9 page)

Beside her, her lover shuffled and grunted. She transferred her attention from the woody knots above her head to the man's face. Normally, when awake, Alex McGregor's cornflower-blue eyes shone with life and intensity. His physique was sturdy and ruggedly attractive. But in sleep the man looked his age. He was lying on his side, and the creases and wrinkles of his cheeks lay atop one another until he stirred, turned over and faced the other direction. Jodie couldn't stifle her sigh. She wished he'd just wake up and leave. Allow her the peace and space to analyse the evening. Her eyes fell on the condom packet fluttering on her bedside table in the very early morning breeze. At least he'd come prepared. Having not had a lover in years she wasn't on the pill.

Maybe she could wake him up? Tell him she had a headache and could he go?
A bit late for that now, sunshine.

Making love to Alex wasn't what she'd expected it to be. Sometimes, in the past, she'd tried to imagine what sex would be like, with him, an older man. Had built an image or vision in her mind that it would be akin to supping on fine vintage wine. Full-flavoured, smooth, melodious, ripe. Fulfilling.

Sure, the closeness, the feeling of being wanted had been a balm to her soul. It had been so long since she'd been held by a lover and there was nothing to compare it with. Sometimes you just needed a man's arms around you. However she'd been left feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. Alex had been gentle to start out, and she had been hesitant, not sure of him enough to know exactly what to do, how to play the game of love to ensure enjoyment for both of them. Once she'd set herself to pleasuring him, hoping to get the same in return, things had progressed better. Yet as Alex had climbed the heights of passion towards a climax, he'd become forceful and, without any care as to whether she was ready or not, had plunged on in, done his thing and then rolled off. She'd been left hanging, thinking, ‘So that was it?' He'd then gone to sleep – he'd just assumed it had been as good for her as it had been for him. And for him she was sure it had been great: Rhys had been an excellent tutor in the arts of pleasuring a man.

There had been no real emotional connection or feelings of reassurance from such an intimate act. This wasn't how it was supposed to be! Was it because the love session had been filled with awkward moments? His arm here, her leg there, nothing working in perfect concert? Or was it because the whole night felt as if it had almost been forced, play-acted somehow, like ‘this is how you play grown-ups' from the minute Alex had collected her from McCauley's Hill to the moments after they'd made love?

It hadn't been like that with Rhys.
Yeah, and look where that led you, Ashton!

She flipped and flopped under the covers, trying to find answers while Alex slept soundly. Sleep was a long time coming and Jodie was only able to form one conclusion. With Alex, life wouldn't be about passion and reaching for the stars like it had been with Rhys.

A relationship with Alex was about letting your head rule your heart, something she had never been very good at doing.

But if she wanted security, propriety, continuity and a well-mapped path …

If she wanted an end to vulnerability, that feeling which overwhelmed a single mother's life …

Alex McGregor was her answer.

‘He doesn't need a hand any more,' said Wally, coming out of the phone box. The old bloke had refused to use Nate's mobile phone, preferring ‘a good old-fashioned ear piece rather than one that's gunna give me a brain tumour!'

Whatever.

So he'd found a normal public phone for Wal in Roma.

‘Damn,' said Nate, getting up from the ground where he'd been squatting. Alex McGregor and Glenevelyn were now marching towards them. ‘Why not?'

‘Already got someone. But I've got another idea.'

‘Hit me with it. Anything's better than going straight home.'

Wal cocked his head to the side. ‘It'll be colder than here.'

‘Got to get used to it sometime.' The chill of both the weather and his father's attitude, Nate silently acknowledged.

‘I know this bloke down in the Snowy Mountains. Dan Caldwell. He runs brumby camps – brings kids who've run off
the rails in the city to his joint and teams them up with wild brumbies. He might need a hand? Won't be anything in it but board and keep.'

Nate stood by the phone booth, considering. He'd heard about blokes like this Dan. It would give them a roof over their heads for a few weeks and something worthwhile to do. Gaining the trust of a wild horse was no mean feat, the same as gaining the trust and respect of a child or adolescent. It was something you had to work hard for. It was a shame his father didn't realise that. From Nate's experience, the old man dominated those around him through fear rather than through trust or respect.

‘Righto. Give him a ring. I'll go fuel up the ute. Catch you back here in five.'

It took them another week to make their way down to Victoria. Wally wanted to stop at Cumnock, near Dubbo, and look up another old mate. They'd been on a fencing crew together years ago, out near Windorah. Of course, that was another drinking session.

‘Geez, Wal, how many old mates have you got?' said Nate on the fifth morning after finally leaving Cumnock. He was nursing the mother of all hangovers. ‘At this rate I won't have a head or a job.'

‘You said you were giving up the sheilas anyway,' said Wal, with a wicked grin. ‘Get it? Head? Job?'

Nate, who was also suffering lack of sleep, groaned. ‘Wal. I am never going near another girl again.'

‘Famous last words, McGregor.'

‘I'm serious.'

‘Ha!' said Wal. ‘You said that
before
you ended up in bed with Danielle.'

‘I fuckin' well did not. You were the one who said, and I quote,' Nate held up two fingers like they were inverted commas, ‘“You're going to wait until you get the right one, settle down and have billy lids until your dick falls off.”'

‘Did I?' said Wal, with mild surprise. ‘Geez, I can be full of wisdom sometimes.' The old man almost looked proud.

‘Well, I'm not getting laid again until she
is
the right one.'

‘And you think I'm convinced of that?'

‘You better believe it.'

Wal gazed at Nate, sucking air through the gaps in his mouth as he considered the man driving. ‘Okay. Give me your wallet.'

‘What?'

‘Give me your wallet.'

Nate could see, for a change, the old bloke was deadly serious. Grumbling, he lifted his arse off the seat, dragged his wallet out of his back pocket and chucked it across the ute. ‘Not much in there if you're wanting a bet, unless the currency is condoms.'

‘Exactly,' said Wal, opening the leather fold and extracting two packaged condoms from the zippered section. He opened both and blew them into balloons, then wound down his window and threw them one after the other into the breeze.

Nate watched the whole procedure in horror but didn't stop it. In the rear-view mirror two pale balloons bounced through the air and landed smack bang in the middle of the highway, right on top of a squished road kill. God only knew what the next driver coming along would think. Weather balloons? Fly-blown kidneys?

He turned back to Wal. ‘You sure all that grog over the past few days didn't affect more than your liver?'

‘I'm in better shape than you.'

And Nate had to admit, for a man in his late fifties who'd drunk more than his share of rum last night, Wal was looking mighty chipper.

‘You said you won't need them,' stated Wal matter-of-factly. ‘So I'm getting rid of them so you're not tempted to dip the wick until you find the right sheila.'

‘Right,' said Nate, deciding then and there he wasn't mentioning the spare he had in the back of the glove box. The one his father gave him years back ‘in case he felt the need to sow his wild oats'. Ha! The old man was one to talk. The things his father had done that even his wife Elizabeth –
especially
Elizabeth – didn't know about. But his son had a fair idea. Nate had heard rumours about his father's philandering ways when he was away at meetings.

He decided it was time to get the conversation back on track. Casting another look in the mirror at the disappearing balloons, which by now were thrusting themselves frantically against a fence post, he said, ‘Anyway, you never answered my question. How many mates?'

The man slouched in the passenger seat smiled. ‘A few.' He turned to Nate and said, ‘A lesson for you, lad, if you care to listen. You can't have too many mates. You have people in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And me, well …' The old bloke turned and looked out the window at the scenery streaking by. ‘I don't have a wife and kids, see, to keep me in one place. So I drift. Me bosses are there for a reason, me workmates – other stockies – for a season and, well, the rest of the people, the ones that I really like, we're mates for a lifetime.'

‘So how come you don't have anywhere to go?' asked Nate. A wounded look punched Wal's face and Nate could have kicked himself. ‘I mean, you know, instead of coming back down south with me. You've got to be desperate to want to head to my old man and Glenevelyn.'

Wal's features altered instantly from hurt to settled. ‘I want to see the high country. I've seen a fair bit of this big country of ours called Australia but I've never been up in them mountains.'

‘You could take a tag-along tour any time. Are you sure you want to run the gauntlet of my old man?'

‘I don't reckon he'll be any worse than I've seen before.'

‘You reckon?' said Nate. ‘He's all charm and culture on the surface, but underneath he's a ruthless prick.'

‘Well, let's just say, I think the experience of the
real
high country will be worth it. You learn more about an area working on a place than just visiting. Plus,' Wal raised one eyebrow, ‘someone's gotta watch your back.'

Yeah, thought Nathaniel. His mother wasn't there to temper the worst of Alex any more. And even if the new bird had found a few soft spots she was probably too busy coveting Glenevelyn and all it had to offer to see his father without rose-tinted glasses. Boy, was she in for a shock when she married the old bastard.

‘My back will be fine. It's my inheritance I'm worried about.'

‘Ha!' said Wal, disbelievingly. ‘You've never worried about material stuff in the past. You might think your old man's a bastard but, my boy, at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water. I'll bet my last dollar it's your father you're worried about, not that damned property.'

‘No way!'

‘Yes, way,' said Wal, grabbing a map book and flicking through the pages.

The older man sounded so definite, Nate had to think about that. He hated his father, didn't he? Well, maybe not hate, that was a bit strong. They'd got along well enough when he was a kid and his father had been a less domineering man. It was later on, during his teenage years, when they had started not seeing eye to eye. More fist to fist. So maybe he
was
worried the silly old bugger was being led around by his dick. Who's to say this chick wasn't a gold-digger? The property on today's market would be worth a fortune, especially seeing it now included his mother's family farm, Grumley's, next door. On the death of Elizabeth's parents, his mother being their sole heir, the place had been absorbed by Glenevelyn. He'd bet Rupert on the fact this woman would know all that. She'd have to be playing Alex for a fool. Why else would she take up with a man old enough to be her father?

‘By these maps, if we drive straight through we could be in the Snowy Mountains by tonight,' said Wal, sounding satisfied. ‘Dan said there's a campdraft rodeo on this weekend at Riverton. If we rock up earlier we can watch the draft and the rodeo, then meet the new boss on Monday. He'll be coming into town for supplies and to collect the next bunch of kids. They arrive from Sydney on Tuesday morning.'

Great. More grog. Just what they needed. ‘I'm not sure if my wallet will stand up to the strain of a big weekend.'

‘It will now.' Wal grinned wickedly.

Nate rolled his eyes. ‘I meant money wise, not bloody women.'

‘Just checking.'

Nate reached over and turned up the radio. Roo Arcus was playing his hit ‘Church on the Hill'. The lyrics danced around in his brain.