Moving Forward (Moving Neutral, Book Three) (21 page)

Chapter
Forty-Nine

It was almost two in the morning by the time we finished the song.  The camera crew had left at midnight, claiming they had more than enough footage to turn this into a scene, and neither Tanner or I had put up much of a fight when they suggested it.  By two, we were tinkering with the hook, but the changes we were making had started to dwindle. 

I stole a sip of Tanner’s third beer, my throat a little ho
arse from singing for hours, and lay back against a pillow on the couch.

“What do you think?” I asked nervously, the
melody still lingering in my head. 

Tanner set his guitar on the ground and
looked over at me, an unmistakable grin on his face.  “It’s a great song,” he said, leaning back.  “Whether I can get April interested in it is another story.”

I bit back a scowl.  “She won’t have a choice,” I said, a little forcefully.  “If
it’s good enough, she’ll have to go along.”

“Right,” Tanner said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.  “Because compromising and going with the flow sounds so much like April…”

I sighed.  I was still hoping for the best, but Tanner had a point.  “Do you guys ever think…” I paused, wanting to tread lightly.  “Do you ever think you’d be better off without her?”

Tanner looked at me
and shrugged.  “It wouldn’t matter if I did.  Without April, there is no Moving Neutral.  Sophie and Jesse are the backbone of the band, but nobody’s ever bought a concert ticket to see a bassist and a drummer.”

I sighed.  He had a point.  “What about you?”

Tanner smiled at me.  “You know, Snow, you put up a good fight, but you’ve clearly come around on me.”

I looked down, blushing.  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Don’t worry — as much as I appreciate the vote of confidence, for most of the world, I’m not even really part of the band yet.  I’m just some guy in the tabloids until our album comes out.”

“Or the
reality show,” I corrected him. 

“Or the show,” Tanner said.  “But the show doesn’t guarantee anything.  I haven’t seen the footage, I don’t know how they’ll edit it.  They’re not going to cut April as the villain, and it has to be someone.”

I couldn’t stop the surprise from passing across my face.  “And you’re okay with that?”

Tanner shrugged.  “I try not to let that stuff bother me.  I can’t control it, I can’t do anything about it, and it’s a condition to me being in the band.  Stressing about it
just makes it worse.”

A pang of sympathy for Tanner shot through me.  “Well, they can’t edit you into something you’re not,” I said stubbornly.  “And I know you’re not a villain.”

Tanner raised an eyebrow at me.  “Is my sob story crumbling away your devotion to Blake?  Cause don’t worry, they’ll probably just edit me into a womanizing playboy.  It could be worse.”

“
Come on, Tanner.  How much editing is that really going to take?”

H
e pounded a fist into his chest.  “First you build me up, then you shoot me down.  It’s almost getting cruel at this point, Snow.”

“But let me guess how I can make it up to you?”

“Damn it,” Tanner’s grin was infectious.  “You’re learning my tricks.”

“They’re not particularly subtle.”

“Subtlety is overrated.  I go for effective.”

“They’re not particularly effective either.”

“Fighting words, but you’re the one sitting in my apartment at two in the morning.”

“Which is probably my cue to leave?”

“Not exactly what I was getting at.”

I grinned.  Tanner was exhausting, impossible, and totally the opposite of Blake.  But I had to admit, being with him was just… fun.  I wasn’t in a rush to go anywhere.

“So, should I call a cab?”

“One more drink.  The night’s still young.”

I smiled.  “I guess we do deserve a little celebration, right?  I mean, we did just write the new Moving Neutral single.”

“My thoughts exactly.”  Tanner stood up and went over to the fridge.  “Beer?  Or something stronger?”

“Beer,” I said firmly, smoothing out the wrinkles in my shirt.  We’d been on Tanner’s couch for hours, and my legs were starting to fall asleep.  “Actually,” I said, glancing out Tanner’s window.  “Why don’t we bring them to the beach?”

“That’s my girl,” Tanner grinned.  “Give me your bag.”

I brought it over to the kitchen, and Tanner put two beer bottles and an opener inside.

“Lead the way,” Tanner said, nodding to the door.  “But be subtle with these, okay?  The last thing you need is
an arrest for underage drinking.  The tabloids would be the least of your problems.”

“Awww, thanks, dad.”
  I grinned.

“You know, I try to be a gentlemen, and what does it get me?”

“No,” I smiled at him, nudging his arm with my shoulder.  “It’s sweet.”

“You’re making me blush,” Tanner said, slipping the handbag off my shoulder and throwing one of his arms around me.  “Sweet isn’t an adjective I hear very often.”

“Tanner Cole, the sweet, thoughtful gentleman.  Maybe I can sell that story to the tabloids.”

“You better not,” he gave me a lopsided grin.  “You’ll ruin my carefully constructed reputation.”

Tanner’s condo was across the street from the beach, so ten seconds after closing his door, I was slipping off my shoes and feeling sand between my toes.  He followed me as we walked to the edge of the water.

“You know I’d never been to Los Angeles before this summer?” I said, remembering the first time I’d gotten
to the ocean, at the end of the Moving Neutral tour.  I remembered the party where April had caught me in my very first lie to Blake, how I’d taken off running and wound up on the beach at sunrise.  “My first time on a California beach was right after Blake broke up with me.”

Tanner raised an eyebrow.  “Wasn’t that in November?”

I blushed, embarrassed.  “No, um… the
first
time Blake broke up with me.”

A hint of amusement spread across Tanner’s face.  “Sorry, go back a step, Snow.  When was the
first
time?”

It was a painful memory, but somehow, tonight, it almost seemed
funny.  “At the end of the Moving Neutral tour,” I admitted. 

“So, a week before he quit his band to follow you to college… he dumped you?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Sounds complicated,” Tanner’s voice had laughter in it.  “And then he sticks it out for half a semester… and then dumps you again?”

“Again, you’re over-simplifying.”

“I’m sure I am.” 

We’d reached the edge of the ocean, and Tanner set the bag on the ground, pulling out the opener and passing me a cold bottle.  He sat cross-legged in the sand and patted the space next to me.

“So, did you cheat on him?”

I took a step back, shocked.  “No — God, no, never.”

Tanner looked at me sympathetically.  “He cheat on you?”

“No—” I tried to keep the outrage out of my voice.  “Blake would never do that.”

“So what, then?”

I took a deep breath, sinking into the sand next to where Tanner was sitting.

“Promise you won’t tell the tabloids?”

“Promise.”

“It’s a long story,” I sighed.  “But
actually, it was about that lunch I went to with you and April.”

Tanner wrinkled his brow.  “Really?”

“I lied about it.  I was just trying to fix things for Blake, but I wound up making it worse.”  My words were coming out faster, and in some ways it felt good to tell someone what had happened.  I’d spent so long trying to pretend everything was okay, it was like the story had just gotten buried.  “It’s just… after everything we’d been through, after he finally started trusting me again, I ruined it all by lying.” 

Tanner looked at me quizzically, taking another sip of his beer.  “By lying… about going to lunch?”

“With you,” I said softly.  “Well, with April, really.  I didn’t know you were going to be there till you showed up.”

Tanner looked at me like he was deciding whether or not to burst out laughing.  “So,” he said, “let me get this straight.  Blake Parker breaks up with the love of his life, the girl he turned his back on the entire music industry for… because she lied about her lunch plans?”

I scowled.  “You make it sound stupid.”

“It
is
stupid.”

“He doesn’t trust me.”

“Snow, who did I have lunch with today?”

“I have no idea.”

“If it was April, would that bother you?”

“No.”

“If it was Emma Harris, would that bother you?”

I thought about it.  “A little, yeah.”

“What if it was Emma Harris, and I said it was April.  Would that bother you?”

“Yeah, it would.”

“Now what if I explained to you that it was because she’s thinking about appearing in one of our videos, and it was a business lunch?”

“You’re just proving Blake’s point.  You’re still lying about it.”

“I agree.  That was a shitty thing to do.”

“Gee, thanks, Tanner.  Great pep talk.”

“But would you dump me on the spot and cut off all contact with me for three months?”

I paused.  “No,” I admitted.  “I’d be annoyed at you, though.”

“Exactly.”

I paused, tracing a pattern in the san
d with my index finger.  “So you’re saying Blake’s wrong for getting as mad as he did?”

Tanner tilted my head
up, meeting my eyes.   “I’m saying Blake’s an idiot for letting you go, especially over something completely and totally inconsequential.  It’s like throwing away a diamond because it came in the wrong box.”

I shivered, not breaking eye contact.  “Careful,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.  “That almost sounded sincere.”

“Snow, you’re going to make mistakes.  Everyone does.  But if Blake can’t see that your heart’s in the right place?” Tanner looked at me intently, his eyes wide and serious.  “Then he doesn’t deserve you.  Not for one second.”

I looked down at the sand, peeling at the corner of the beer bottle label with my fingernail.

The dark beach made it feel like we were all alone, like a protective wall of night air surrounded us.  Tanner’s arm was pressed against my side, and I could feel the warmth of his body against the cool night air.

“Snow,”
he said, his voice low and quiet.  “I’m serious.  You don’t owe him anything.”  I felt his body against my side, warm and strong. 

My voice was barely more than a whisper.  
“But I love him.”

Tanner leaned closer.  “Then stop,” he said, looking at me
like there was nothing else in the world.  “Then love someone else.”

In all the time I’d spent with Tanner, I’d never been sure if his flirtation was just part of an act
, whether to him it was all just a game.

But now, up all night
and surrounded by moonlight, for the first time, it felt real.

“
Please,” he whispered, cupping the side of my face with his hand.

I let him tilt my chin towards his lips, surrendering effortlessly.  Every time I’d kissed Tanner, some part of me had held back.  I’d never been sure if it was what I wanted.  If
he
was what I wanted. 

But tonight, under the stars,
by the edge of the ocean… something was different.

I looked into Tanner’s eyes, and for the first time, I didn’t wish they were Blake Parker
’s blue.

Chapter
Fifty

It was almost noon by the time I woke up, a little smile still lingering on my lips.

I rolled over, looking at
my hotel room’s alarm clock. 

By now, Moving Neutral was probably well on the way to recording
their new single, thanks to Tanner… and me.  Everything had seemed so hopeless yesterday, but now it was under control — it was fixed.  I grinned involuntarily, and sat up in bed, leaning back against the feather pillows.

I reached for my cell phone on the nightstand, to see if Tanner had texted me.  I’d been dying to know
their reaction to the song, but we both knew it would be better for everyone if the band (or, more accurately: April) didn’t know that I’d helped write it until they’d already fallen in love with the song.  So Tanner had dropped me off at the hotel, and gone to the studio alone.

I hit the button to light up the screen and… nothing.  Just the little red sign to charge the battery. 

Ugh.  I’d been so exhausted when I’d finally gotten back to the hotel, I’d never plugged in my phone.  Sighing, I set it in the charger. 

I went into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face.  For a girl who’
d been up all night, I thought to myself, it could be a lot worse.  I dabbed a little concealer under my eyes and added a swipe of lip gloss.

Tanner and I were supposed to have a drink with his agent at
5, but until then, I was basically free.  Sophie was tied up in the studio with the band, and Brett was already on his way back to college.  I’d spent all of yesterday afternoon with Lauren, and the only other person I knew in Los Angeles was… Blake.

I shoved the thought out of my mind. 

The hotel I was staying at was in Santa Monica, only about a mile or two down the beach from where Tanner and I had sat in the sand the night before.  I crossed the room and opened the curtains, feeling a little grin creep back onto my lips as I looked out onto the ocean.

Maybe, finally, I’d gotten through a trip to Los Angeles without my life falling apart.

Feeling energized from last night’s songwriting session, I looked around the hotel room for some scratch paper.  Maybe I could get coffee and sit out on the beach, dreaming up new lyrics for a song of my own.

I flipped through a room service menu and a booklet of the hotel’s amenities before finding some letterhead and a monogrammed pen. 

Good enough
, I thought to myself, opening the door to my balcony. 

But before I could take a step outside, my cell phone ringtone blared through the room.

It had to be Tanner.  He’d be dying to tell me what the band thought of the song — I couldn’t believe he hadn’t already called the hotel.

I raced across the room, grabbing the phone off the charger.  The battery read a wh
opping four percent, so if he was going to tell me what happened, it had to be quick.

But when I got to the phone, I hesitated.  The number calling wasn’t Tanner’s cell.  It was an L.A. number, but not one I recognized.

Maybe a landline at the studio?

Wrinkling my eyebrows, I swiped the screen to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, um, is this Casey Snow?”  A stranger’s voice replied.  It was a guy, and he sounded uncertain.

“Who is this?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that,” the guy chuckled.  “You must get weird calls all the time.  No, um, this is Zak Grant?  I used to work at
Paragon.  I think we met this summer?”

“Oh—” I grinned, smiling with relief.  “Yeah, for sure.  I called you a few weeks ago.”

“Right,” he said, sounding apologetic.  “Passing on messages to former employees isn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s priority list over there, especially with the holidays and all.  I’m sorry to be so late.”

“Oh, no, no worries at all,” I said, trying to reassure him.  “I was actually calling because I was planning to come out to Los Angeles, and you’d, um, well, a while ago, you’d said that I should give you a call if I did.”

“Right,” he said, sounding more assured this time.  “So when are you coming?”

I giggled, looking out at the pacific ocean through my window.  “Actually, I’m here right now.”

“Great,” he said, sounding excited.  “Well, I’ve got a bunch of things that I’d like to talk with you about, if you have some time while you’re here.  Do you want to set a time to come into the office?”

“Office?”

“Yeah, unless you’d rather meet for lunch?  That could work too.”

I looked at the phone in my hand quizzically.  The battery had about ten seconds left before completely giving out.

“How soon can you get to Santa Monica?”  I asked.

“Soon,” I could hear his smile.  “Urth Caffe in half an hour?”

“Perfect,” I agreed.  “See you then.”