Mr. Arrogant: A Billionaire Romance (10 page)

Naomi sighed and turned her head to look out of the window. “I know… I know I have to do something. It’s just so hard to know what to do. I wish my mom was here. I wish I could tell her everything and ask her what to do.”

“Well,” Andrea said with a big breath and a soft pat on Naomi’s hand, “She can’t be here, but I am here, and I will do my best to help you through this. You get that phone turned back on, and you get back to work or you quit your job.”

Naomi nodded. “I will.”

Andrea tipped her head and rubbed her finger over her chin thoughtfully. “What did he kiss you for? In the elevator… what made him kiss you?” she asked curiously.

“I don’t know. I honestly have no idea. Maybe he felt sorry for me because I was crying. He said he didn’t want me to cry. Maybe he does know that I’m in love with him and he was just waiting for the right opportunity to plant one on me. I have no idea why he kissed me. I’m as surprised as you are.

"He hasn’t made any kind of moves toward me at all really; I mean, there have been moments between us when things were steamy or close, or when I thought that he might kiss me, but then I started thinking that those moments were all in my head and he didn’t really want me, because he’s so strong and determined, Andrea, if he wanted me, he would tell me. Nothing would hold him back. He’s not one to hold back when he wants something. It’s just my bad luck that I fell in love with someone who doesn’t want me at all.” Naomi held her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

Andrea watched her and shook her head sorrowfully. “Well, the most important thing right now isn’t worrying about the love aspect of it. The most important thing you could do right now is get yourself straightened back out. You need to either go back to work or quit your job. Don’t worry about the being in love part, in fact, try your hardest not to focus on that. You focus on work and figuring out just exactly what you want to do about it, so that you can get on with your life. You do not need to stop right in the middle of your career path and get all tangled up around a man, especially one who doesn’t want you.

She rolled her eyes then. “Although why he doesn’t want you is beyond me. You’re smart, witty, funny, thoughtful, caring, and you are a damn fine looking woman. He’d be so lucky to have you with him, however you wanted to be with him.”

Naomi laid her head on the back of the sofa and looked out of the window as she ran her fingers through Harold’s fluffy orange hair. “It doesn’t matter how I am or what I look like, because what I am and what I look like isn’t what he wants. So you’re right, the only thing I should be focused on is work, and I knew that. I was trying to focus on work when he got too close.” She sighed and frowned a little.

“I guess I’m just going to have to figure out a way to let go of him so I can keep working there, because I don’t want to let go of my job. I want to keep working at Cross Corp. I love the company and I love what I do there. The only real problem is me; I have to figure out how to resolve my feelings for him and just let them go so I can keep working there and make it my career.” She let a deep breath out slowly and wondered how on earth she was ever going to do that.

Andrea watched her and reached a hand up to rub her arm. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. You have more drive and determination in you than I have ever seen in anyone. And I don’t think you’ve ever really failed at anything because you work so hard for everything. Just keep working hard, push him out of your heart and mind and stop letting him get under your skin, and then you’ll do really well at the job and you won’t have anything else to worry about. Now, I know that’s probably easier said than done, but just try it. Work at it. Give yourself a little space and faith, and know that you can and will come out on the other side of this. If anyone can do it, you can.”

Naomi smiled for the first time in three days. “You know what?” she asked, reaching to hug her best friend. “You’re right. I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to. I always have, and this is just a challenge that I am going to find a way over or through, or whatever… but I’m going to beat it. I’m going to keep the career right there where I want to be working, and I am going to let go of the feelings I have for Jonathon Cross, and things are going to be all business from here on out.”

Andrea squeezed her back and then pushed herself up off of the sofa and walked toward the door. “That’s my girl. I know you can do it. You just let that emotion go and you keep Jonathon Cross as an employer, and if it doesn’t hurt too much, as a friend. You can do that. I know that you can. You’re going to be alright, honey. You call me if you need anything, do you hear me?” she asked seriously. “And for heaven’s sake turn your dang cell phone back on.”

Naomi nodded and smiled. “I will. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Andrea said with a grin, “I’ll see you soon.” She walked out of the door and Naomi sat back on the sofa and reached for her cell phone, pressing the button on the side to turn it back on.
Andrea was right,
she thought, she had a lot going for her, she had a lot of strength and determination, and it might be difficult, but she was able to do everything else in her life that she set her mind to.

She promised herself that she was going to make herself fall out of love with Jonathon Cross, and she was going to keep her job and make a solid career at Cross Corp. If anyone could do it, she could.

The screen on her phone lit up and she set it on the table by the sofa and ran her hand through Harold’s fur as he purred contentedly. She looked out of the window at the city around her and felt a surge of confidence. She had faith in herself and in what she could do, and that faith came from meeting every challenge that had ever been put in her path, and overcoming each one somehow, one way or another. She always overcame, and this challenge was one of the biggest, but it wasn’t insurmountable. She was determined to succeed.

Her phone rang and she looked over at it and laughed a little. She’d had it back on for little more than a minute and it was going off already. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID. She didn’t recognize the number, but there wasn’t anyone who had her number who shouldn’t have it, so she knew that she should take the call.

She slid her finger over the screen and lifted the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” she answered, wondering who it was.

A familiar voice answered her. “Naomi? It’s Jonathon Cross. I’m downstairs in your apartment building.”

Chapter6

Naomi’s heart stopped in her chest and her eyes opened wide. “Jonathon?” she spoke his name in a whisper, “You’re… you’re here at my apartment?”

“Yeah… I guess you’ve called in sick the last two days, so I brought you some chicken soup and some Chinese takeout. I didn’t know what you like, so I brought a few different things.” He answered her in a soft voice.

She felt her heart start beating again, but it began to thud against the wall of her chest. He was at her apartment. He was there, and she was trapped again. There was no way out of seeing him or having to talk about what had happened with him in the elevator.

“Naomi?” he asked hesitantly, “Would it be alright if I come up, please? The food is getting cold…” he trailed off and she closed her eyes and sighed. There was no way out of it or around it.

“Yes, of course.” She answered quietly. “Come on up. I’ll call the desk and let them know.” She ended the call and laid her head back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling, wondering how she was going to get through a visit with him. She stayed home just so she wouldn’t have to see him, so she could work through her emotions and not have to deal with the awkwardness between them, and her avoidance technique had brought him right to her door. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply and then looked at her phone and called the front desk in the lobby to ask them to send him up.

She went to the bathroom and checked her hair and makeup, and was surprised to see that her two days at home had actually given her enough rest and relaxation so that she looked really good. She heard him knock on the door and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and then she went to the door.

He looked worried when she pulled the door open and stepped back to let him in.  She hadn’t seen him look so concerned before. His dark hair was slightly tousled and his green eyes searched hers and then swept over her body; not for any other reason than to make certain that she was alright. He stepped into her home and she looked down to see that his arms were full of food bags.

“My goodness!” she exclaimed with a shake of her head. “I’m not dying.” She laughed a little more, and it was a bit of a release for her, letting go of some of the tension and stress in her.

He shrugged. “I didn’t know how you were really doing, so I took my chances. I’m glad to hear that you aren’t too bad off. I was worried.” He told her, looking closely at her still. He handed her the bags of food and she took them quietly and walked into the kitchen, setting them on the counter.

Her nerves were jangled and humming and her mind was going a thousand miles an hour, trying to figure out how she was ever going to make it through a visit with him. Andrea’s words echoed in her mind, and she knew she would have to get through every moment he was there. Then she would have to go back to work and get through every moment of working with him every day until she could either change her job to work for someone else, or let all of her emotion go and get over him.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear him walk into the kitchen and come up right behind her. When his hand touched her shoulder, she jumped with a start and turned swiftly, looking up at him. His eyes were locked on hers and she felt the tremendous pressure between them in the very small space between their bodies.

He stared at her, and for a few moments he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, and the urge to wrap her in his arms and press his mouth to hers was almost overpowering, but that wasn’t why he had gone to see her. It would defeat his entire purpose if he gave in to his desires. He saw her struggling with her emotions and he realized that she must be more uncomfortable than he had thought she was. He pressed his lips together and took a step back from her, giving her some space and easing the tension between them.

The effect on her was immediate, she seemed to relax and she took a deep breath, as if she had held her breath in her lungs, and he saw all of it. He knew then that he had gone much too far with her already. She filled her lungs and exhaled slowly, trying to steady herself. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly, looking up at him in confusion. She’d never had an employer come to her home to check on her before, and after the way that they had parted, when she ran from him at the office, she couldn’t begin to understand what he was doing, standing before her in her kitchen.

He hesitated for a moment and then pushed his hands down into the depths of his pockets as he gazed at her. “I just wanted to come and check on you… you called in sick two days in a row. That just seems so unlike you, and…” he hesitated again and looked away from her, and then raised his eyes to meet hers again.  “…and after what happened when I saw you last, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright, and to tell you that I’m sorry for kissing you. I never should have done that.”

She stared at him. He was apologizing to her, and it caught her completely off guard. “What?” she whispered as her heart raced and pushed blood all through her.

“I’m sorry… I guess I must have just, got caught up in the moment. You were there with me, you were upset, crying… and I just… didn’t want to see you cry. I guess I took comforting you to a place I never should have. I don’t want you to worry that it will happen again, and I don’t want you to feel badly about it.

"I don’t want anything to be awkward or different between us… and I want you back at work. I felt so bad about it after you left like you did. I haven’t been able to get it off of my mind since then, and it’s just really important to me to make it right.” He watched her eyes and tried to gauge her thoughts and emotions.

It was true
, he thought to himself,
he hadn’t been able to get her off of his mind at all
. He’d gone over and over the moments in the elevator with her, remembering her tears, remembering the kiss he gave her, and how he hadn’t been able to hold it back any longer, how it had filled him with fire and passion, and how when she had kissed him back, something ignited in him that he had never felt before.

He felt more alive than he ever had, he felt like the flames of life had finally touched him and awoken him, and he felt a desire for her that he had not known could exist. He also knew that she did not want him the way that he wanted her, and that she never would. He knew that he had to respect her and he had to respect their friendship and their working relationship, and let his desires stay hidden deep within him. He knew if he was going to do anything to fix what he had done to them, he had to do it right away, and it had to be genuine.

Naomi couldn’t believe she was hearing him apologize. She felt certain that he had probably not apologized to any of the women who had worked for him, that he’d been with, and the significance of his effort and the vulnerability in which he placed himself before her was not lost on her. She didn’t know quite what to say.

Her thoughts turned in her mind like a leaf flipping and skittering along the ground and through the air. He was apologizing for kissing her. She knew then that there was nothing in him that wanted her. There was no romantic interest in him whatsoever for her, and she realized that all of her suppositions about him and his intentions with her had been wrong.

He had been trying to be her employer and her friend, and she had been misreading everything that had passed between them. Every moment, every touch, every lingering glance; all of it had only been felt by her. She felt a surge of shame flush through her.  She knew that she had been a fool all over again, thinking over the prior two days that he had any interest in her whatsoever and that he had kissed her because he had been attracted to her. He wanted her for something more than what she really was to him, and that was an employee and a friend.

She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her eyes to meet his. She nodded slightly and hugged herself. “Thank you for the apology and the explanation.”

He stomach tightened as he watched her and he had to stop himself from reaching out to hug her. He felt sure that she must have regretted their embrace and kiss. She hadn’t said anything to the contrary, but instead had thanked him for apologizing for doing it. He knew then that he never should have done it, no matter how much he had wanted to.

“Will you be coming back to work tomorrow?” he asked hesitantly, hoping with everything in him that she would; both so that he could see her and be around her, and to assuage his guilt over kissing her. He felt that if she returned, they could begin to repair what he had broken and move forward, and he wanted that with her desperately.

She tried to still all of the emotion churning in her, and focus on what Andrea had told her. She pushed herself hard and concentrated on the one thing that should matter more than any of the other thoughts going through her mind; work. She was trying to re-center herself on her goals and dreams and to let go of her feelings for him. The thing she could allow in her heart was turmoil. She drew breath into her body as far as she could, feeling it still her somewhat, and she nodded at him.

“I’ll be there tomorrow.” She made herself look up at him when she spoke, though she felt as if there was no part of her body that was not tensed with anxiety.

He was quiet a moment and then gave her a small smile. “Well, great! It will be good to have you back.”  He wanted to say more. He wanted to say so much more to her, but she looked defensive, and she looked withdrawn, and he didn’t want to try to push her too far.

Getting her back into the office and around him was the first step. Fixing what he had broken between them by kissing her was the second step. Then he would rebuild their friendship and do his best to keep it strong.

“I guess I should let you get some rest so you’ll be ready for tomorrow then,” he said quietly as the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. “I am really glad that you’ll be back.” He told her, and then he turned and walked from the kitchen, heading to the front door.

She watched him leaving and felt like part of her was going with him. “Thank you for being so thoughtful and for bringing all of this over for me. You didn’t have to do that.” She smiled back a little. His thoughtfulness had touched her.

He nodded at her as he opened the door. “I did have to do that. I wanted to take care of the lady who takes such good care of me.” He answered her, and then closed the door behind him and she was left with a change of heart.

His action had been one of thoughtfulness and kindness, and she was able to see it that way, and to use it as a means to move further toward being his friend, rather than thinking of him with the love in her heart that she felt. She didn’t know how she would let go of her romantic emotion for him, but looking at him as a friend, and letting herself feel that for him because of the way he was with her was a good start.

She slept a bit better that night than she had since he had kissed her; her mind and heart somewhat more at ease. She dreamed of him, and in her dreams he was close to her, so close that he came to her and held her, kissing her again. When she woke she realized that it was nothing but a dream, though it had felt much more real to her than that.

***

Naomi readied herself for work, slipping into a soft white dress that was loose but still hinted at her curves. She wanted to appear professional while still being feminine. Matched with heels and pearls, she felt confident and ready to go back to the office. . She tied her hair at the back of her neck and headed out of the apartment to try to get her life back in order again.

When she arrived at the work, she was early and as she poured herself a cup of coffee, she decided to pour one for Jonathon as well, and she left it on his desk with no note. It was an effort, though a small one, at reestablishing their friendship. She wanted more than anything to move forward into that friendship with him, and to fall out of love with him as swiftly as she could, to eliminate the aching need and painful desires in her heart.

She was seated at her desk when he came in, and shortly after he went into his office, she received an email from him, thanking him for the coffee. An hour after that, she was greeted by a delivery man who brought her a bouquet of pretty flowers. It wasn’t a large bouquet, but midsized, and all of the flowers were bright and pretty.

There was a note amongst them that read, “Glad to have you back in the office” and that was it. She told herself that the gesture was one of a friend, and was precisely what she needed to be to him. She sent him an email thanking him for the bouquet.

They were careful around each other all day; both of them being more polite than usual, both of them keeping a slight distance from one another and both of them only talking about business. By the time she went home that afternoon, Naomi felt as though it might not be an impossible task to work hard at the friendship and still manage to fall out of love with Jonathon at the same time.

The second day she was back, they were still careful, but he watched her closely, and she felt his eyes on her. When she felt them, she would turn and look over her shoulder and their gazes would meet. He did not turn away from her or look at anywhere else, he kept his green eyes connected to her light blue ones, and it would make her breath catch in her chest.

She promised herself that she would not feel the connection, but there was no real way for her to stop it: it was there, and it was strong. But she was stronger than their chemistry, and she would break its hold on her.

He came to her desk to go over files on the computer, and as he stood behind her and leaned over her, reaching to the monitor to discuss different pages, he would lean too close, and she could breathe in his cologne and the scent of his skin. She could feel his strong arm so near her as he reached over her shoulder. All she wanted to do was to turn towards him, put her lips on his neck and cheek, and feel his arms around her. But she steeled herself and made herself focus on the computer. She did not breathe deeply until he left her, and when he did finally leave her, she had to take a break and go outside to get some fresh air and steady herself from the embers that were burning white hot in her.