Mr Cavell's Diamond (6 page)

Chapter
5 – August 1829

Henry

‘
Caroline, my love,’ Henry called up the stairs. ‘Do come down soon. It’s a marvellous day, and I long to walk on the beach with you.’

He reached down and patted Sultan’s head. The dog nuzzled his hand affectionately.
‘I know, old boy,’ said Henry. ‘I’m desperate to get out as well. Just as soon as her ladyship comes down and eats breakfast, we’ll be off. Have patience!’

He sighed. They’d not been married
four months yet, and already he’d realised that patience was likely to be his most drawn-upon virtue. Caroline liked to lie in bed in the mornings, seldom making an appearance before midday. She would blame late nights attending balls at the Assembly Rooms or playing cards with William Dennett or others of Henry’s friends. Henry remembered that only yesterday he had gently suggested that given her condition, she might be better off retiring to bed early, but she’d laughed in his face.

‘
Oh no, my dear. Ladies go to balls and dance, and have fun! Which is just what I want to do. I could not attend them before, but now I am your wife, you can and
shall
take me! Which gown shall I wear this evening, the pink or the blue? Really, you must buy me another evening gown. I cannot keep on wearing the same ones.’

She pouted, and then flung her arms about him and kissed him.
‘You are cross at your little Caroline, are you? Oh, don’t be. Please don’t be. Your Caroline loves you, and wants only a little amusement in her life. Come, kiss me.’

Henry unwound her arms and pushed her gently away.
‘I’m not cross, love. And I’ll not deny you your amusement. You shall have another ball gown if it makes you happy. But is it wise to order it now? It might not fit you for long.’

Caroline shrugged.
‘Oh, I’ll have it made so it can be let out,’ she said.  She kissed him again and began sorting through her collection of ribbons and lace, deciding which pieces to use to adorn the new dress.

Henry had left her to it. He’d already learned that giving in to Caroline’s demands was the easier path to take. And he had to admit, she knew how to make herself look good. Despite her lowly origins, he was proud to have her on his arm when they attended the balls. Men’s heads turned to gaze after her, even if their wives were whispering about her behind their fans.

Sultan whined a little and went to scratch at the door. ‘Yes, lad, we’ll go out soon,’ said Henry. He called Caroline again, but when there was no answer he went up the stairs to check on her progress.

The door to her room was closed. Henry hesitated for a moment, before knocking.
‘Caroline? May I enter?’

There was a muffled reply which he decided to take as agreement. Inside, he found Caroline draped over a small chaise longue, dabbing a handkerchief to her eyes. When she saw Henry she turned away from him and buried her face in the back of the chaise.

‘What is it, love?’ asked Henry, kneeling at her side. ‘Tell me, my love.’

‘
Oh, I can’t, I can’t,’ sobbed Caroline. ‘It will break your heart, dearest Henry, as it has broken mine.’

‘
My heart is strong, love,’ he said. ‘Let me share your pain, and maybe in doing so, lessen it.’

He watched patiently while Caroline attempted to compose herself. Eventually she wiped her eyes, took a deep breath and spoke.

‘The baby, Henry. I have lost him. I’m so sorry.’ Once again she turned away and hid her face against the sofa back.

‘
Oh, Caroline! Are you all right? You must be suffering so much. I must call for a doctor at once.’ He got to his feet and crossed the room to the bell pull. He was about to pull it when Caroline caught his arm and stopped him.

‘
Please Henry, don’t. There is nothing the doctor can do. I will be perfectly all right, in time. I am just so very unhappy to have lost your child.’

‘
But surely, love, you must have a doctor? If only to check that all is well? I will send for the very best doctor in Worthing, no expense shall be spared…’

But Caroline shook her head.
‘No doctor. Please. I would hate to have a stranger near me now. Oh, I am so unhappy!’ Caroline went to her bed and flung herself face down upon it.

Henry approached, wrung his hands, then took a step away. Should he try to comfort her again? She didn’t seem to want him. Maybe she needed only other women around her at a time like this.

‘Should I send for your mother, perhaps?’ he asked, inwardly wincing at the idea.

‘
No, no,’ came the reply. ‘I couldn’t bear for her to see me like this. Perhaps just send for the maid. She can nurse me.’

‘
Are you sure? Just the maid?’

But Caroline just sobbed into her pillow. Henry rang the bell, and waited, pacing the room and muttering words of comfort. There would be another baby, several, he was sure, though he knew better than to say that to his wife now.

There was a tap on the door. Henry opened it and hurriedly whispered a few words to the little maid. She looked momentarily surprised, her kind eyes wide, before arranging her features into an expression of sympathy.

‘
Yes, sir,’ she said. ‘I’ll see to her needs, don’t you fret. My Ma lost babies so I know what I need to do.’ She gently pushed past him into the room.

Henry watched her for a moment as she bent over her mistress, nodding at Caroline’s requests, then bustled about the room, wetting a cloth for Caroline’s forehead, removing her slippers and covering her with a quilt, fetching a glass of water and an extra pillow. At one point she stopped, seeing Henry still standing in the doorway.

‘Sir…’

‘
Yes, yes. I should leave. Ring the bell if my wife should require my services, or if you think she should have a doctor attend to her.’

The maid nodded, and quietly closed the door after him. Henry went downstairs. Caroline seemed to be in good hands. The maid may be young and insignificant, but she appeared to be competent and efficient. As he reached the foot of the stairs where Sultan was still waiting patiently for his walk, Henry realised he didn’t even know the girl’s name.

Jemima

The bell rang for me from the Mistress’s room so I put down the silver I was polishing and went up the stairs. Poor Sultan was whining at the door waiting for the Master to take him out. I patted his head on the way and promised him a tidbit from the kitchen later.

Upstairs
, I tapped on Mistress’s door and the Master opened it and told me Mistress had lost the baby she was carrying. Well, I was surprised at that, because I don’t think she was ever carrying a baby. I deal with all the washing and soiled linens from the house, don’t I, and I have washed the Mistress’s monthly rags – thrice now since she’s been a-living here.

But the Master want
ed me to look after her so I went in to see what she wanted from me. Poor Master, he looked so upset that I felt sorry for him. He is a good man.

Mrs
Cavell told me she felt so unwell and her tummy hurt and her heart hurt too. I wondered maybe she don’t really know whether she were with child or what it is like to lose one. My Ma lost three or four babies since I was old enough to help her. I tidied the room and made her comfortable. She wanted me to stay with her and mop her brow and pat her hand. When the Master finally left the room the Mistress sat up in her bed with a sigh. Then she wanted me to brush and dress her hair, and go through her wardrobe, pulling out dresses. She kept asking me questions about her frocks. Should this one have the neckline altered, did that one need freshening up with more lace, was the other one too old-fashioned? We spent the whole afternoon doing this.

I hear
d the hall clock strike the five hour, when she asked me to go downstairs and see was Mr Cavell in the house. I was half way down when I heard him come in with Sultan, and go to the kitchen to fetch the dog a bowl of water. I told the Mistress this, and she asked me to put away all her dresses, let her hair loose again and tuck her in bed. We had just completed all this when the Master did knock on the door.

He t
old me then to go and help Mrs Smith with dinner, he said he would look after his wife now. I was glad to get out of that room though I could not look the Master in the eye, being now a part of the Mistress’s deception.

Usually I tell
Mrs Smith all that goes on and all that I think, but this time I decided to keep it to myself. She noticed I was quiet and I said I had a headache. So now I am deceiving her as well. Where will it all end?

I
went to bed with a heavy heart. If the Mistress had been with child and lost it, then too my heart would be heavy, but it would be an
honest
heaviness. But her trick on the Master, which upset him so, and the way I am now caught up in this, made me cry into my pillow. My Ma always told me that life is not so simple when you are grown. Now I know what she means.

Henry

Caroline was, Henry thought, finally beginning to get over the loss of the baby. She had spent the last couple of weeks in her bedroom. Only the young maid had been permitted to attend her, and even Henry had only been allowed admittance once a day. He’d begged her to let him send for a doctor but she’d remained stubborn.

Henry had questioned the maid to find out how ill Caroline really was, and the girl’s hesitant but loyal answer had given him all the information he needed. His wife was not physically unwell, but clearly the disappointment and shock of the loss had unsettled her. Time would be her healer, and Henry need
ed to exercise patience.

With
the help of a new day-dress and bonnet in a pale yellow silk, he’d at last persuaded her to come with him and Sultan for a walk on the beach to show off her new outfit. It was a warm day, with a light breeze blowing from the sea. Arm in arm they walked along the sands, eastwards towards the centre of town. Caroline leaned slightly towards him, her head not as high as she used to hold it, but not bowed either.

They made small talk as they strolled, Henry allowing Caroline to lead the conversation. She chatted about people they passed, rating their appearance, commenting on their fashions. Henry smiled and nodded, chuckling at her wit, indulging her whims and revelling in the signs of her return to the lively and charming girl he’d fallen for.

Part way along the beach Caroline suddenly stopped.

‘
Is something the matter, love?’ asked Henry.

‘
No, but Henry dear, could we walk the other way now?’ she said. ‘Back towards the house, where there are fewer people? I don’t feel quite up to the crowds at this part of the beach.’

Henry raised an eyebrow. Normally she would want to be wherever there were most people to see and be seen by
, especially when she had a new dress in the latest fashion to show off. But perhaps she was not as recovered yet as he’d hoped. He took her arm again and turned around, heading westwards along the beach.

They hadn’t gone far when Caroline stopped again, and tugged on Henry’s arm.

‘What is it, love?’ he asked.

She sighed, and hung her head.
‘Oh Henry. I am sorry I have been in such low spirits since, well, you know. But the truth is…’

‘
Yes, love?’ He took her hands in his, and tried to make her look up at him, but she kept her eyes fixed on the sand at her feet.

‘
I’m frightened, Henry.’

‘
Of what, dearest?’

She pushed some sand into a small pile with the toe of her shoe.
‘Of, well, of the possibility that I might not manage to give you a child. I’m frightened that because I lost our first one, I might lose others. And I don’t think I could bear to go through this again.’

Henry pulled her towards him and embraced her.
‘Oh, love, of course those thoughts would frighten you. But I believe it is common for women to fail at their first pregnancy, and yet go on to have very many children. There is nothing to suggest you would lose a second child, nothing at all.’

Caroline pushed him away.
‘There is everything to suggest it. My own mother lost half a dozen babies before bringing one to term. My sister has lost all hers. One was nearly grown. I was there when it happened. The poor little mite. I can still see its tiny hands and feet, and its swollen, unseeing eyes. Oh, thank goodness for small mercies, that my own loss was at an earlier stage, and was less like a true baby!’

She hid her face in her hands and wept. Henry
did not know what to do. She was so distraught. People were beginning to stare at them. He put an arm about her shoulders and tried to gently lead her in the direction of their home.

Once again she shrugged him off.
‘Oh Henry. What am I to do? You will want children, to complete our little family. But I don’t think I can provide them, I am too frightened to try again. If only we had a child already, one past the uncertain age of infanthood, one we could be sure of rearing!’

‘
Sadly, my dear, they don’t arrive fully grown,’ said Henry. She was worrying too much, he was sure. It would be all right next time. He tried once more to reassure her. ‘Next time, my love, I’m certain…’

She cut him off.
‘Perhaps if we could adopt…’

This time it was Henry who came to a standstill.
‘Adopt? What are you suggesting?’

‘
If we adopted a child, perhaps caring for it would help me regain my confidence. Perhaps if I had a little child to love, I could be braver about trying again to have our own baby.’ For the first time during the conversation, she raised her eyes, red-rimmed and awash with tears, to him.

His heart melted. She was so vulnerable. And despite her illness and her tears, so beautiful.

‘If adopting a child will heal you, my love, then we shall adopt. Though I know of no suitable child, or any process by which we could find an unwanted child. I am afraid this will take a long time. You must be patient.’

She sighed.
‘Yes, I will be patient. But it will be hard.’

She took his arm again and they walked on. He looked across at her, pleased to see that her head was a little higher, her tears were ceasing and there was a tiny bit of colour back in her cheeks. Perhaps simply the thought that adoption was possible, and the knowledge that he had agreed in principle, was enough to soothe her. Well, if that was the case, then the job was done. He smiled gently at her. He would promise her anything he could deliver, if it would restore her to the vivacious and charming girl he had married.
As her husband, it was up to him to ensure her happiness, whatever it took. Wasn’t that his duty?